Be Mine Forever (A St. Helena Vineyard Novel) (24 page)

“Why do you say that?” he asked.

“The attorney screwed up. He put the wrong date on the escrow papers, so instead of having until the end of the month to get everything signed and in order, we have until Friday.”

Everything inside Trey stilled. “Is there any way to get an extension?”

She shook her head against his shoulder. “No, there is another interested buyer who is just waiting for us to fall out of escrow. And if we do, then he will counter and I can’t be sure that Mr. Rossi won’t consider his offer.”

“Abby.” Trey pulled back, hating to be yet another guy who let his sister down. “I can’t go right now. I need until at least next week here. March would be even better.”

“I know. I hate even asking, and if there was any other way,” she said, her heart in her eyes. “I know that you’re busy finalizing your sales team and getting everything ready to move. But you’re the only one who can sign the papers.”

“How long would it take?” Trey heard himself asking.

“It’s just a week. You’ll be back before you know it.”

Something in his chest twisted because it wasn’t the coming back part Trey was worried about. It was the walking away.

Twenty minutes and a lonely bubble bath later, Sara finally gave up and got dressed. She found Trey, sitting on the couch with his head leaned back and eyes closed. She plopped down next to him.

“It was the bubbles, wasn’t it?” she mused. “Too girly.”

He rolled his head toward her and gave a tired pout. “Don’t tell me that I missed you in the bath.”

“Afraid so,” she whispered, snagging his mouth in one hell of a good morning kiss. “Although we can try it again, without the bubbles.”

“There is nothing I’d love more than to spend the day scrubbing your back.” He kissed her long and hard. “But I can’t, I have to pack.”

With a sigh, she fell back against the couch. “Yeah, us too. Cooper wants to unpack so he can check off the pack list again and then repack everything. Plus, I told Lexi I’d be there by eleven.” She looked at her watch. “I’m late.”

Kissing her lazy morning, and her sexy man, good-bye, she stood to gather up her things, but he took her hand. She looked back and her breath caught. He wasn’t worn out from last night, he was upset. And disappointed. And something else that she couldn’t identify, but it sent a wave of panic swelling in her chest.

“No, Sara, I have to get ready. Pack. I’m leaving.”

Everything inside Sara stilled. “For Italy?”

“I fly out tonight.”

“Tonight?” she repeated, because her heart was pounding so hard in her ears, she must have misunderstood.

“There was a mix-up in the terms, which means I need to get over there and get everything straightened out.”

“Can’t you straighten things out from here?” she asked. He couldn’t do this. He promised her February, and after last night, she’d thought that maybe he could promise her forever.

And there it was again, that look, only this time she recognized it, felt the familiar pressure press in on her chest until it crushed her heart. It was the same look her dad had given her when she was five and he took the job in New York. The same look her mom had given every time Sara’s school events conflicted with the dance studio’s schedule. And it was the same look Garrett wore when he reenlisted. No matter how much she knew that they loved her, it always felt like they were saying, “I love you, but not enough to stay.”

“What happened to leaving in March? What about training your replacements?”
Oh God.
“What about Team Bros? Cooper is so excited about tomorrow. What am I supposed to tell him?”

“I’ll tell him,” he said, gently tugging her down next to him. Which was good because she was afraid that her legs would give out any minute. “I’ll explain everything before I go, and make it up to him when I get back, I promise.”

“He’s five, Trey. How are you going to explain heartache to a five-year-old?” she asked, her voice shaking. “Because I’ve tried. And believe me, no matter how sorry you are, how gentle you think you’re being, it will crush his little world.”

“You don’t think I know that?” his voice was shaking now too. “God, Sara, the last thing I want to do is hurt him. Or you.”

“Then don’t,” she pleaded. She would recover, it would be hard and heartbreaking, but eventually she would move on. She’d done it so many times, she could do it again. But Cooper? He didn’t ask for this. He just wanted to go race his car and camp in a tent with a man he admired. “Don’t go.”

“I have to.” Trey let out a heavy breath. “Someone screwed up, and if it doesn’t get fixed by Friday, there is a good chance we’ll lose the land.”

Not we
will
lose the land, but a good chance. He was willing to disappoint Cooper, walk away from something real because of a possibility. “You don’t have to go, you’re choosing to.”

He shook his head. “I can’t let my family down.”

“And I can’t let Cooper down.”

She understood what he was saying, but she also knew there had to be a compromise. A solution where no one lost out. She knew what it felt like to be disposable. She didn’t want that for Cooper, and she didn’t want that for herself—not anymore.

“You can’t let Cooper down. He’s counting on you, Trey. I’m counting on you to be the man I know you are. The kind of person who understands that showing up is more important than pretty promises.”

“I already told my family I would go.”

“You also said you wanted to make this work.” She patted her chest, whether it was to see if her heart was still beating or to hold the pieces together while it quietly shattered, she wasn’t sure. “With me. You said you wanted to make this work with me.”

He took her hands in his, and she could feel his body vibrating with desperation. “I do. God, Sara I do, more than anything. I meant what I said last night, about you being my shelter. And when I get back, I want to get a place here, make St. Helena my home base.” He pressed his lips to her open palm. “Make you my home base. But I have to do this first.”

And there it was. Maybe it had been there all along, but she had been too caught up in seeing what she wanted to see, that she missed what was real. What was right in front of her.

“Then I have to say good-bye.” Sara leaned over and brushed her lips across his. One last time. Then stood. Thankful that her legs didn’t collapse. “I can’t spend the rest of my life coming in second.”

“Good-bye? What?” He stood too, and for such a big, strong man, he looked ready to break. “I’ll be back in a week, tops, and then we can figure this out. I called Gabe when you were in the bath, told him I want to split time between here and Europe.”

“That’s just it, Trey,” she said. “I don’t want to be a complication, someone else you have to prioritize, a place to escape to when your real life gets complicated, especially when I always seem to come in last. I’m tired of being a stopover, I want to be the destination. I want to be the person you rush home to every night because there is nowhere else you’d rather be.”

“I feel that, when I’m with you.” He cupped her face. “With you I feel alive and whole and like I’m home. You feel like home to me.”

“Oh, Trey.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he clung to her so tightly, she could feel his body tremble. Sorrow burned her lungs and tightened around her throat, because he didn’t even know what he’d just said. And there was nowhere for them to go. “You told me yourself, you’d never be able to stay home forever.”

When Trey looked at her, saying nothing, she wondered how she was even breathing, because she knew he agreed. The truth hit her hard and broke her heart. “I just want you to be happy, Trey. To be the man you want to be.”

CHAPTER 17

B
ut you promised you wouldn’t leave,” Holly said, her thick lashes fluttering in a practiced pout. “At least not until after dessert.”

And because Trey couldn’t stomach the idea of letting down another person in his world, he shoved the giant stuffed llama under his shirt and plopped his pregnant ass back down. His knees hit the tot-size table and the seat of the chair cut a little too narrow for comfort. “Just trying to get comfortable, kiddo. Want to pass me the sugar?”

Holly gave a squeal of delight and clasped her gloved hands together. “Daddy, can you pass Uncle Trey the sugar?”

“One lump or two?” Gabe mused, shifting the frozen soda can to his other hand so that a teething Baby Sofie could keep gumming her way to a tear-free hour. He passed a piece of ChiChi’s finest china around the table—his pinkie stuck way up in the air for added flair.

Trey had a finger of his own to stick in the air, only there were kids present.

“So the soda can works?” Marc asked as though taking mental notes.

“Better than any of that hippy shi—” Gabe paused as Holly waited for him to say the dirty word. “Holistic stuff Regan bought.”

“We weren’t even gone two weeks. I can’t believe she got her first tooth,” Nate said.

Neither could Trey. In the time they’d been gone, Baby Sofie had grown a tooth and her vocabulary by nine sounds, Holly had learned that babies came from Amazon, and Trey had discovered that being home wasn’t so bad. Even when he was forced to sip tea from dainty cups and birth a llama.

Yeah, Trey decided while looking at his brothers, all of them wearing tiaras and pearls and baby bumps like his own—it wasn’t so bad. Plus it took his mind off of Sara and how he’d blown it. And how the look on her face, the one that ripped his heart out of his chest, broke something inside of him that he knew would never be the same.

He looked around the room and laughed. Nothing was the same. Not a damn thing. And it never would be.

Gabe’s media room looked more like the inside of a dollhouse than a man cave. The bar, normally stocked with DeLuca wines and microbrews, was serving punch and lemonade on tap. The sixty-four-inch plasma screen was permanently dialed to
Hello Kitty
. His brothers were in the middle of playing maternity tea party and smiling like they were sitting on the fifty yard line at the Super Bowl. Hell, they were always smiling—because they were in love.

The only thing that hadn’t changed was Trey’s uncanny ability to screw everything up. Even when he tried to do the right thing, tried to earn his place, to be a better man, everything fell to shit. Then, like the coward he was, he ran.

Only this time, he really thought he’d figured it out. He was doing what was best for his family, doing what his grandfather would have wanted him to do. And he still managed to disappoint Sara and Cooper, the two most important people now in his life.

Fuck.
He hated himself right now.

Holly gasped her outrage at the dirty word, which he had apparently said aloud, although her excited giggle ruined the effect. Gabe had his hands on Baby Sofie’s head in the earmuff position, and Marc and Nate were sharing concerned looks.

“Sorry.” Trey forked over a quarter for the offensive language.

Holly waved off the dirty-word fine and patted his hand. “That’s okay. I get sad too when I have to go away from home.”

Then she leaned in and gave him a hug—and damn if his heart didn’t split right open. Even this was different. As always his niece smelled like apple juice and little girl, and her inquisitiveness about birth still gave him the cold sweats, but instead of wanting to pry her sticky little fingers off of his pressed shirt, all he could think about was never letting go. Or that if he did, he’d never get this moment back.

“I don’t want you to go,” she whispered. “Team Terrific will be one Lady Bug down. And lonely.”

He pulled back and tugged her hair. “You’ve got your dad.”

“But you don’t have anyone,” she said, her expression one of lip-trembling concern. “And that makes my heart sad.”

Yeah, it made his heart sad too.

“Hey, honey,” Marc said, patting Holly on the shoulder. “Why don’t you go ask Auntie Lexi about dessert?”

Holly was about to object when Gabe gave her a stern look, that lost all power when he added, “When you get back, we can all play kitties. Again.”

Still not sure, Holly gave Trey one last look and then, since watching her grown-ass dad hobble around on all fours meowing was too much fun to pass up, she hurried out of the room. But not before kissing Trey on the cheek.

When he’d shown up for the impromptu family dinner, he was surprised no one had grilled him about Sara. Especially after the dance they’d shared last night at the Gala. He figured that either his sisters-in-law hadn’t spilled the beans yet—highly unlikely—or they decided not to bring it up. Even more unlikely. The women in his family couldn’t help but try to fix him, and the men couldn’t resist telling him what to do—or more specifically, what he did wrong. So when Holly left the room, and his brothers leveled him with a look, he knew they’d just been waiting.

“Want to tell us what’s going on with the dance teacher?”

“Nothing’s going on. She’s great and we had fun.” He shrugged, but even that hurt. “I’m leaving, she’s not. End of story.”

Gabe studied him, seeing way too much. “I don’t think you want it to be the end. And from what Regan told me, neither does Sara.”

Sara had talked to Regan? “You don’t know what I want.”

“Maybe not, but I know that look,” Gabe said.

“Yeah, and what look is that?” Trey asked, because the masochistic part of him wanted to know if it looked as awful as he felt.

“The ‘holy shit I screwed it up beyond repair and lost her forever’ look,” Marc said, setting his cup down and confirming Trey’s worst fear.

“Don’t take it so hard,” Nate said rationally and calmly, making Trey feel anything but.

“We’ve all worn it, bro.” Marc clapped him on the shoulder. “Being a DeLuca, we are genetically predisposed to screwing it up when it comes to the right girl. Good news though, when it’s the right one, you can’t screw it up beyond repair. All you have to do is admit she gets to you, then tell her how much she gets to you, and do whatever it takes to win her back.”

“You can borrow Sofie,” Gabe offered.

“It’s not that easy,” Trey said, hating how his brothers were all nodding in unison, as though making forever work was as simple as renting a baby for the day or buying a picket fence. “Plus, I have to be on a plane in about four hours.”

Marc shrugged. “Then don’t go.”

“What about the land?” Trey asked. “I’m the only one who can sign on the dotted line.”

“So, we work it out,” Nate said. “I can call Mr. Rossi. There’s always a way, but I think Marc was talking about you not moving, as in living here.”

Trey looked around, confused. “I thought you all agreed we wanted someone in the family looking over the construction?”

“What I want is my family to be happy,” Gabe said.

“What the hell do you think I’m trying to do?” Jesus, it was as though men were from Mars and women were from Venus, and he was from Uranus, because every time he tried to explain this situation, everyone looked at him like he was the dumb-ass who wasn’t listening. “I’m trying to make this work, trying to make it so that everyone gets what they want and no one has to miss out.”

“What about you?” Gabe asked. “Where do you fall on that list? Because I’m betting that when you said you wanted to move to Italy, babysitting a house wasn’t one of the benefits of moving.”

No it wasn’t. Neither was managing Abby’s pet project or overseeing Nate’s new grapes. What he wanted was to find a place where he fit—a place where he could feel like he paid his dues, earned his spot—and find peace. Only, that would have to wait until…

“I don’t know.” And that, right there, was the problem. If he couldn’t even find time for himself in his own life, how could he make room for Sara?

Easily,
he thought. Everything with Sara was easy and natural. She made him feel like everything was all right, that he was all right. That with her, he could be himself and that was enough.

“Well, maybe it’s time you figured it out because you’re my family too,” Gabe said. “So tell me, what makes you happy, Trey?”

Gabe looked over at him and Trey felt everything he’d been holding back pull free and threaten to take him under. His parents, his job, his family. He was so tired of carrying around the guilt, the disappointment, the sorrow.

Then there was Sara and Cooper. They were his fresh start, not Italy. They were what he wanted.

“Sara,” he forced her name out. “I’m so fucking happy when I’m with her and Cooper that I don’t know if I could handle losing them.”

“So let me get this straight,” Marc said. “You’re willing to walk away from a woman who likes you enough to put up with your shit, a kid who thinks you’re some kind of hero, because you’re scared that you might lose them? Well, easy solution. Man. The. Fuck. Up. And give them a reason to pick you.”

“I’m not scared.” He was terrified. After his parents, Trey kept it simple, fun, his emotions dialed to low to avoid the whole love and caring part of life, because loving someone like that again only to lose them—he didn’t know if he’d survive it.

But nothing about the way he felt about Sara was simple or emotionless. Just thinking about not being a part of Sara and Cooper’s life made his chest burn and his throat raw. He had a genuine shot at being the luckiest bastard on the face of the planet.

If he got on that plane, it was game over. No second chance. He’d forfeit his place in her life because of fear.

Only an idiot would walk away from a chance at a life with Sara over something as stupid as fear. Because she loved him. He didn’t know how or why, but she did. He saw it in her eyes. And he still couldn’t believe it.

“I can’t go to Italy,” Trey said, standing. “I have to pack for my camping trip. I still have to buy a sleeping bag. And tell Sara I love her. Holy shit, I love her.”

“Figured as much,” Nate said.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Gabe clapped him on the shoulder.

“Say it again, just to get used to it,” Marc encouraged. “The more you say it, the better it feels.”

“I love her,” Trey said again and—nope, it still scared the shit out of him. But it felt insanely right.

“Another few hundred more times and you won’t break out in a sweat every time you say it,” Marc laughed and pulled him in for side hug. “Welcome home, bro.”

“Yeah,” Trey said, clinging tight—wussy or not, nothing could make him let go, because this time he meant it. He was ready to move on and come home.

“She thinks I left and so does Cooper.” He ran a hand down his face. “She must hate me.”

“She’ll get over it.” Gabe stood and slapped him on the back. “We all do.”

“Even so, you might want to consider picking yourself up a pair of steel nuts while you’re out,” Nate said with a smile. “Last I heard, Frankie was the one who went over to help Sara roll up the tent and pack up the car.”

Sunday morning Sara lugged Cooper’s backpack out of the truck, her body rebelling from what felt like an endless night. She’d spent the first half of it helping a very confused and sad Cooper pack for his first campout, and the rest of it sobbing her way through a batch of cupcakes. Which was probably why her dance pants were tight and her head pounded. That she was holding back the tears and trying to be brave only made it worse.

“Got your toothbrush and toothpaste?” she asked, kneeling in front of Cooper.

“Yup,” he said, clutching the shoe-box garage Trey had built to his chest. “Do you think he’ll come?”

Sara took a deep breath and cupped her son’s cheek. They’d been over this a dozen times already that morning. “I don’t know, honey, but either way you’re going to have a great time.”

“He promised I could use his flashlight. At night. When it got dark.” Cooper’s lip started to quiver.

The mother in Sara wanted to call the whole thing off, but the woman who knew that her son was about to start his own adventure, zipped up his windbreaker.

“You have a flashlight in your pack. A Batman one. Side pocket, remember?”

Cooper exhaled a shaky breath and slumped back against the wall. “Trey’s is brighter.”

Cooper had never actually seen Trey’s super-secret flashlight to know if it was brighter, but Sara didn’t bother to argue. She understood what Cooper meant. Everything with Trey seemed brighter.

“I put extra batteries for it on the counter. Did you remember to pack them?”

He gave a shaky nod. “It was on the list. Under hairbrush.”

Cooper didn’t have a brush, which meant that Sara would need to stop by the drug store to buy a replacement later. Right now though, it was all about seeing Cooper off. And watching him stare longingly out the window, in a pair of jeans, his dad’s old Semper Fi hat, and a too-big tee, which had a picture of a car burning rubber on the back that read
T
EAM
B
LAZE:
E
XTINGUISHING THE
C
OMPETITION
, she wondered if she had made the right decision.