Bear, Otter, & the Kid 03 - The Art of Breathing (29 page)

God, I am so weird.

Stacey comes over to me, and before I can do anything to stop her, she wraps me in a hug and squeezes me tightly. For a moment, my arms hang at my sides, but even I’m not that rude, so I reach up and pat her back a couple of times. I didn’t know we were to the hugging phase of our relationship yet. I almost feel bad for wishing for a walrus.

Almost.

“It’s so good to see you again,” she says in my ear. “It’s been a while.”

“It’s been four years,” Dominic says from behind her, as if no one in the room was aware how long it’d been. Maybe the walrus can get him too. I wouldn’t feel so bad about that one.

“Too long,” she says as she steps back. She rubs her hands down my arms until she grabs my own, then presses her fingers against mine. There’s a scrape of metal from her ring finger, and I think,
Stupid, stupid, stupid. You didn’t see his ring because he was in uniform. He probably doesn’t wear it to work. Of course they’re still married.
“How you been, Kid?” she asks me.

Kid. That’s what I am here.
“Good,” I say, forcing a smile onto my face. “Things have been… good.”

“School going okay?”

Well, no. It’s really not, but that’s not something I feel like sharing at the moment. Or ever. “Sure is,” I say, amazed at the cheerfulness in my voice. I sound like I’m high on life. Or meth. “Everything is superb.” I wonder if they know I’m lying, if Bear has said anything to them, the traitorous bastard. They probably go on couples’ dates together when Bear and Otter are here, and they talk about grownup things like stock portfolios, the best pinot noir, and the trials and tribulations of raising children (“Oh, you don’t even know!” Bear would say, obviously shit-faced on wine. “The Kid’s a royal fuckup in school now. I don’t even think they’re going to let him stay, and oh my God, will
someone
just give me a freaking
baby
already?”).

“That’s good to hear,” Stacey says, sounding genuine. Of course, she could be the most incredible actress in the history of the world and behind those warm and kind eyes is stirring a hatred like no other, and the moment Dom turns away, she’s going to reach up and snap my neck. “That’ll teach you to come back here,” she’ll hiss as I fade into the black. “Should have stayed out of my house, you little bitch.”

Instead, she says, “I know Dominic’s missed you, so it’s good you finally turned up. It’s been… difficult for him.”

“It has not,” Dom says. “I’ve been just fine, thank you very much.”

She rolls her eyes, and against every single part of my shredded will, the most minuscule part of me sort of likes her. Granted, her soul is probably as black as the darkest night, and I’d still like to see her banished to the ends of the earth for all eternity, but anyone who can think Dom spouts bullshit can’t be all that bad, right? Keep your friends close, keep your walrus bait closer, I think the saying goes.

“I’m only here for a little bit,” I say. “Just for the summer.”

She looks slightly disappointed, though I really can’t imagine why. She flashes me another smile as she drops my hands and takes a step back. I use this moment to covertly (well, as covertly as one can be when standing two feet away from a mortal enemy) glance down and see she
is
wearing a wedding ring. Dom isn’t. Maybe his fingers are too big. I mean, his hand is the size of a baby, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the ring didn’t fit. For some reason, baby-sized hands is funny to me, and I snort. It sounds just awful.

“Everything okay?” she asks me, eyebrow quirked.

“Uh, yeah. Just thought of… something… stupid.” I’m so glad I sound coherent. I don’t quite know how this day could get any more awkward.

“What’s that?”

“Baby hands.”
Shut up, shut
up
!
“Never mind. Long story. So, you! You look wonderful and amazing and I’m so glad to see you’re alive!” Well, that didn’t sound ominous at all. “Not that you
wouldn’t
be alive or anything, I guess. But you never know. I didn’t know about Ben, here, until a few days ago, so anything could have happened while I was gone.” That sounds much better. And she’s still standing
way
too close to me.

Stacey chuckles. “You sound just like your brother.”

Oh, ha-ha, you wicked witch!
“So I hear,” I say brightly. “Haven’t yet figured out if that’s good or bad yet.” Bad. Definitely bad. I really need to work on that.

“Sit!” she says, motioning me toward the table. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your lunch. We can chat for a bit.”

I’d rather have bamboo shunts shoved under my fingernails, but I don’t think that’s a polite thing to say, so I don’t. I don’t want the sandwich anymore. It’s filled with peanut butter and
lies
. Okay, so there really haven’t been any lies told yet (at least
they
haven’t lied yet—I’ve lied out my ass at least six times already), but that doesn’t matter. I don’t want to choke down the peanut butter that they probably bickered lovingly over in the grocery store, because
she
wanted chunky and
he
didn’t give a shit, and aren’t they so goddamn
adorable
?

She moves around me, and Ben follows her and climbs up into his booster seat next to her. Dominic still stands at the door, blocking the way out. If I sucker punch him in the stomach, I might create enough of a surprise to be able to slip by him. Rather do that than sit here in this happy home with the three of them and bask in their familial glory.

“Sit, Ty,” she says. “I want to hear all about New Hampshire! I hear it’s beautiful there.”

One punch to the stomach, maybe a knee to the balls. That’s all it’ll take. Just as I’m about to launch myself at a man at least three times my size, he puts that cop gaze back on me and flicks his head toward the table just once.
I know what you’re trying to do
, that gaze says.
Sit your ass back down.

I stare back at him.
The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

He smirks at me.
And the littler they are, the more high-pitched and whiny like a mosquito they sound.

I glare at him.
I will murder you and bathe in your blood.

Yikes. I sound way too bitter and jaded. I really need to take a step back. Stacey’s being perfectly nice and… wait a minute. Just wait a
goddamn minute
. That’s probably what she
wants
me to think. This is obviously part of some diabolical game of hers, and I’m playing right into her hands! Crafty, crafty lady, making me sort of like her just a little bit and making me feel all safe and comfortable, and then
wham!
She’ll tell me it’s almost three o’clock and could I be a peach and watch Ben for an hour or so while she and Dom go upstairs and make sweet passionate love at full volume? Well, I see right through her. Two can play at this game.

“Thank you,” I say. I sit back down at the table. Pick up my sandwich. Take a huge bite of their love peanut butter. Smack my lips like I’ve never tasted such glorious food before. Ben smiles at me, just a little. Stacey looks a bit puzzled, but I’m sure that is all part of her plan. I hear Dom sigh behind me, but he sits down next to me. His arm brushes against mine again, and even though I think of things like fireworks and explosions, I force them away because I have to stay focused.

“What were you guys talking about before I got here?” Stacey asks. She opens her purse and pulls out a blank sheet of paper with some crayons rolled up inside. She opens it for Ben, who immediately starts drawing. Okay, so she’s some kind of supermom. Good for her.

“Just about how upset Tyson was that he missed the wedding,” Dominic says, and I choke on the sandwich. He reaches over and uses his baby-sized hands to swat at my back, and it’s like getting hit by a car. I glare at him even as I try to breathe. I’m finally able to swallow around the sandwich.

“Sorry,” I say. “Just choked a bit.”

“The wedding?” Stacey asks. “It did seem a bit odd not to have you there. Everything else about Dom’s life involved you, so it felt a little empty when you weren’t there.”

Master of manipulation, she is. I feel like the world’s biggest asshole. “School… stuff,” I stammer. “Had… stuff… school.”

She nods. “Of course, we understand. It did come up suddenly. Dom didn’t even know I’d sent out the invitations until people started to RSVP. Had to get the show on the road.” She nods toward Ben.

I
knew
it. And now that it’s been confirmed… well. Okay. It doesn’t change a thing. Except that maybe she
man
-trapped him.

“But that’s in the past,” she says cheerfully. “No need to rehash old details, right?”

“Right,” Dom agrees. “No need to rehash old details.”

“How’s New Hampshire?” she asks.

I shrug. “Okay, I guess. It’s… humid.”

“Decided on a major yet?”

“No. I’m… still deciding.”
And while I’m deciding, I do believe I’m getting dangerously close to getting kicked out altogether. You see, they don’t like it when you just float through your classes, especially when you’re there on full academic scholarship. Apparently, I’m not “living up to my potential.” And I was stoned more often than not. So, still deciding.

She nods, as if this is perfectly acceptable for someone of my intellect who has already been at school for almost four years, deciding on major after major only to panic and switch yet again. But she can’t know that. Unless she knows more than she’s saying. “You’ve got plenty of time. After Ben was diagnosed, I decided to go back to school with a focus on special education. It’s a bit different than teaching eighth graders, but it’s worth it.”

Ah, goddammit. She’s supermom
and
saintly? Son of a bitch. “That’s… amazing,” I say begrudgingly. Because it really is.

“You play with the hand you’re dealt,” she says, touching her son’s hair lightly. “And you make the most of what you have.”

I’m such a jerk. I need to get out of here. “Yeah. Look, I’ll get out of your hair now. You just got home and probably want to spend time with Dom and Ben. I didn’t mean to show up out of the blue. Hell, I didn’t mean to show up at
all
, but Corey forced me, and then I heard Ben laughing and then he drew a bear and we had peanut butter and now I can’t seem to stop talking, so I’m pretty much done.”

“Who’s Corey?” she asks.

“His
boyfriend
,” Dominic says. Who knew a two-hundred-thirty-pound man could sound bitchy? Probably because I’ve interrupted his happy day.

“He is
not
. We don’t even
like
each other like that.” Great, now I sound like a twelve-year-old girl. Fantastic.

“Methinks you doth protest too much,” she says, but she’s looking at Dom when she says it. I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean.

“This has been fun,” I say. “Really—”

“I don’t live here,” Stacey says to me. “Haven’t for a long time.”

Wait. What? “I didn’t know that,” I manage to say.

She looks amused. “Seems as if there’s a lot you don’t know.”

“It’s really none of my business.”

“Why is that? Dom used to be your business.”

“Things change,” Dom says.

“They do, don’t they?” she says. “Priorities. Feelings. So many things.” She doesn’t sound mad. Or even sad. On the contrary, she sounds like she finds something hysterically funny. I almost want to ask her what the joke is, but I don’t think I want to know the answer.

Dominic groans. “This is all your fault, Stacey.”

“No shit, big guy,” she says with a grin. “You should have realized that from the start. Is he packed and ready to go?”

“Bag’s by the door.”

“You want me to keep him over the weekend? Seems like you’ve got stuff to do. You know. Work and all.”

“You bother me,” he says with a frown.

“Only because you deserve to be bothered. Ben, we’re going to Mommy’s now. You can finish your drawing there, okay?”

He pays her no attention and continues to draw.

“Ben,” she says again, touching his arm gently. She doesn’t try to remove the crayon from his grip. “It’s time to go.”

He ignores her and scribbles along the page. Another bear, it looks like.

“Sometimes he’s there,” she says to me. “Sometimes he doesn’t want to listen. It depends on the day, I guess.”

“Ursidae,” I say without thinking.

Ben stops. Puts down the crayon. Looks up at me. Watches me with a tilted head. “Mustelidae,” he says finally.

“Time to go, buddy,” I say.

“Your house?” he asks. “It’s green.”

“It
is
green, but not my house. Your house.”

“Mom’s house.”

“Sure.”

He nods and slides out from his booster seat. He walks over to the doorway and stands there, staring out into the hallway.

“How did…?” Stacey says.

“Weird, right?” Dom asks. “Just met him a few days ago.”

“That’s huge,” Stacey says. Her eyes look suspiciously shiny as she wipes them with her hand.

“Did I do something wrong?” I ask nervously. “I didn’t mean to—”

Stacey laughs. “No, Kid. You didn’t. You….” She shakes her head. “You’re just you. Like you’ve always been.”

She stands, and Dom and I follow suit. She moves around the table, and for the second time in less than twenty minutes, she envelops me in a tight hug. “You don’t know everything,” she whispers fiercely in my ear. “You may think you do, but you don’t. Don’t run again.” Louder, she says, “You’ll be around?”

My mind is reeling. “Yeah. For a bit. Driving down to Tucson in a couple weeks to drop Corey off, then coming back for the rest of summer.”

“I’m sure I’ll see you,” she says. She brushes her lips against my cheek as she lets me go.

“Yeah.”

She winks at me and turns toward Dom and Ben. Ben stands next to his father, resting his forehead against Dom’s leg. It hurts my heart and I don’t know why. Stacey punches Dom gently on the shoulder. “Don’t do anything stupid, big guy,” she says, affection clear in her voice. “You safe?”