Beat of the Heart (39 page)

might love, ends today. If you don’t come with me to Mexico—”

Mia shook her head wildly. “Don’t you dare give me an ultimatum!”

“You’re leaving me with no choice. You keep saying we barely know each other. Fine then, come

to Mexico with me for two weeks. Get to know me, get to know my family, get to know part of

Bella’s heritage. Prove to me that you’re really trying.”

“I am.”

“It sure as hell doesn’t feel that way. You’re making me out to be some bad guy that I’m not. I’m

just a guy who cares about you and wants more with you. You can’t keep judging me for my past or

my occupation.” Staring into her eyes, I shook my head. “I have your ticket waiting. But I’m serious,

Mia. I gotta know you’re truly with me and aren’t going to bail. That’s not fair to me, and it won’t be

fair to Bella.”

Tears pooled in her eyes before streaming down her cheeks. “I know. And I’m sorry, AJ. I really

am.”

“Yeah, well, you know where to find me. The flight leaves at two tomorrow afternoon—with or

without you.” I leaned over and gave her a brief kiss on the cheek before striding out of the doctor’s

office. Even though part of me felt like an ass for being so demanding of her, I knew I had to get my

point firmly across. I didn’t play games, and I wasn’t going to continue playing this one with Mia. The

ball was in her court, and she had to make a decision.

As I got on the elevator, I dialed Rhys. “Get your ass over here and pick me up.”

“Shit dude, did things not go well?”

“Yes and no.”

“Well, lucky for you, I’m just five minutes away. Traffic is still crazy as a motherfucker.”

“Whatever. Just get here when you can. I gotta lot of shit to do before I leave tomorrow.”

“Mia not coming with you?”

I sighed as I tugged my hand through my hair. “I don’t know.”

“I say you at least have time for a few beers after the day you’ve had.”

With a chuckle, I replied, “That sounds like a plan.”

The rest of the day after the ultrasound I was an emotional wreck. Before I went back to work, I

had put on a happy face at Mama Sofia’s where free desert was given to all the patrons in honor of

Isabella—Mia’s Moose of course. My dad was absolutely on cloud nine when I told him, especially

about the name. Of course when he had questioned me about AJ, I had shook my head. How could I

explain to him what I was feeling? How the doubts and fears of my past continued crippling me in the

future with AJ? Not to mention that the one and only time AJ had actually said the words ‘I love you’

was when he was under emotional distress handcuffed to a shower.

I knew my dad wanted to talk to me about it—maybe even counsel me on what to do. But just like

when everything was going so wrong with Jason, I hid from him. Like a total coward, I snuck out of

Mama Sofia’s before he could come back to my table.

In the end, I knew there was no one I could talk to about this. It was my decision, and mine alone,

to make. That’s what made it so fucking hard. Of course, the worst part of all was how much I loathed

myself. I had become totally unrecognizable to myself, and I couldn’t just blame my irrational

pregnancy hormones. No, I was reaping shit I’d sown a long, long time ago. The old me wouldn’t

have led Dev on when I knew that I would never take him back. But there was a part of me that got

some sick vindication from making him suffer.

I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Deep into the core of my being, I knew I wanted to be with

AJ. There was absolutely no rational reason not to give him another chance. He was the father of my

daughter. I had fallen in love with him in the midst of our lust-haze. But nothing about me was rational

at the moment. I kept focusing on the irrational side of things—my insecurities about AJ’s career and

his women, and the way I felt like I could never be good enough, or even, enough for him. Somehow I

always kept coming back to my self-loathing conclusion, that he deserved someone better—although

the thought of seeing him with another woman made me physically sick.

It seemed I had more time to think about it than I should have since things were slow on the floor.

Somehow I had resorted to pacing around in the break room while feeling like a total nut-job.

Dee poked his head in the door. “Mimi, you have a visitor.”

My heart leapt into my throat, and more than anything in the world, I hoped it was AJ. At the sight

of Pesh, my former mentor and Dev’s brother, standing in the doorway, the breath I’d been holding

exhaled in a noisy rush of disappointment.

Pesh’s beaming smile slowly receded as his gaze roamed over me. He stared at my abdomen

before glancing back up at me. “Now I know why Dee called me.”

His words, coupled with the emotional shit-storm of my life, caused me to burst into tears. Pesh

rushed forward and pulled me into his arms. “Hey now, if I’m going to have this kind of effect on you,

I’ll leave.”

My mirthless laugh was muffled against his chest. “No, that’s not it at all. I’m kinda a mess lately.”

“Well, I don’t know about that, but you’ve certainly been busy,” he mused.

I pulled away to shake my head. “I can’t believe Dee called you.”

“He’s worried about you and the decisions you’re making.”

With a wince, I said, “I guess you know about Dev.”

Pesh nodded. “Yes, he told me he was trying to convince you to come back to him.”

“You don’t sound like you think that’s a good idea.”

“That’s because I know it’s not.”

My brows shot up in surprise. “What?”

Pesh exhaled a ragged sigh before resting his hands on my shoulders. “I know you and Dev were

together a long time. Our family will always love you and owe you a tremendous debt for getting him

back on track after those wayward years.”

“Cut to the point, Pesh.”

He smiled. “Dev is my baby brother, and I love him. But I know in my heart he doesn’t now or will

ever deserve you, Mia.”

I gasped at his admission. “Seriously?”

“He’s always chased after what he couldn’t have, and once he got it, he wasn’t satisfied. He tried

for months to get me to fix you two up, but I refused.”

“You never told me that.”

“At the time, I didn’t think you were ready to date after what had happened with Jason. Now I think

it was something greater telling me to keep you apart.”

I groaned. “That would have been really nice to know three years ago. It could’ve saved me some

heartache, you know?”

Pesh grimaced. “I realize that now. It’s the reason why I’m here today. This musician…what’s his

name?”

“AJ,” I murmured.

Pesh nodded. “This AJ wants you to be with him, doesn’t he?”

“I’m going to kill Dee,” I muttered through gritted teeth. At the same time I wanted to throttle him, I

couldn’t ask for a more faithful, loving friend than Dee.

“Don’t be mad at him. He loves you—just like I do. He also knows what you’ve been through in

the last year might be clouding your judgment.” Pesh’s expression grew sad. “Better than anyone, I

know what grief can do to you, Mia. After Jade’s death, I lived a dream-like existence for the last two

years. I made decisions that weren’t really me—decisions that my emotional torment caused me to do.

I don’t want you to make the same mistakes as I did just because you lost one of the most important

people in your life.”

“That’s very sweet of you.” I then pursed my lips at him. “Does your faulty decision making have

anything to do with that pregnant chick you wanted to get with?”

Pesh laughed. “Maybe a little. But wanting to be with Emma could never be deemed as a ‘faulty’

decision.”

“You’re not still after her, are you?”

“No, I’m not. We both realized we weren’t right for each other—that we were in love with other

people. Now we’re just really good friends—like we were truly meant to be.”

“What is it with you Nadeen men and being hot for women who are pregnant with other men’s

babies, huh?” I teased.

He shook his head. “You and Dev aren’t the same thing as Emma and me—you two had a long

history together.” He rubbed my cheek tenderly. “Maybe it’s that pregnant women have a glow about

them—a beauty that burns bright from inside, like the life growing within them. You’ve always been

beautiful, Mia. But you’re truly breathtaking today.”

“Thank you, but somehow I think you might be fibbing considering I have puffy eyes and a red face

from crying,” I scoffed.

Pesh smiled. “None of that matters. What truly matters is the heart inside the person. And I know

yours has such great love within it.” He gave me a pointed look. “But it doesn’t truly beat for my

brother, does it?”

“No, it doesn’t.”

With a wink, Pesh replied, “No, it follows a different drummer, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, it does,” I replied with an absolute certainty I hadn’t had possessed before.

Taking my hand in his, he brought it to his lips. After he kissed it, he said, “Now do you have your

answer?”

“Yes, I do,” I whispered.

“Good. I’m glad to hear it.” He pulled me into his strong embrace.

As I squeezed him tight, I said, “You’re like my fairy godmother or guardian angel, you know that

right? You’re always swooping in to save me.”

He chuckled. “I think I like being a guardian angel better than a fairy.”

I laughed as I pulled away. “I think so, too.”

“So you’re going to go to him now?”

“As soon as I can pack my bag, I will. That’s if I can actually drive home being a bundle of

nerves.”

Once again, Pesh took my hand. “Come on. Your fairy godmother will take you home and get you

packed. Then I’ll take you to AJ’s.”

My eyes widened. “Really?”

“Of course.”

I couldn’t help my bottom lip from trembling. “That’s so sweet.”

“Before you cry, I have my ulterior motives.”

“You do?”

He nodded. “I want some advice on how to get a stubborn woman to change her mind about me.

Since you’re the most stubborn woman I know, I figured you could help.”

I threw my head back and laughed. “I will be happy to do anything I can to help you find happiness

and true love. You know that. And just who is this brainless chick who isn’t giving you the time of

day?”

“Her name is Megan, and she’s just set in her mind about something…” He pinned me with a

pointed look. “Just like you.”

“Whatever,” I mumbled.

Pesh took my hand. “Come on. Time is wasting for you and your prince.”