Authors: Mary Cope
I put my cell phone back in the drawer then I gingerly got out of bed. Clutching the IV stand for support, I rolled my way into the bathroom. I stood at the sink and gasped in horror at my reflection.
Thin red scrapes covered the left side of my forehead, and I was bruised above my cheekbone. I touched the back of my head and felt a swollen egg-sized lump. My hair was a matted mess. I felt a bandage, and, for a second, I wondered how much hair they'd had to shave off to stitch me up.
Desperate for a toothbrush, I swished some cool water in my mouth and spit. I tried to untangle the matted mess of hair with my fingers but gave up when the standing became too much. I rolled myself back to bed and carefully climbed back in.
About a half an hour later, Aidan walked in the door. As usual, he looked amazing. Thankfully, I wasn't hooked up to a heart monitor, or it would have been beeping out of control. He winced when he saw me.
Aidan's eyes were fixed on mine. His voice was soft and soothing while he stroked the bare skin of my arm, careful to avoid the IV line.
“What happened?” he asked.
I proceeded to tell him what I could remember. His expression ranged from pained to relief when I told him I was going to be fine, and Maggie was okay, too.
Aidan moved his chair and leaned in close. He picked up a loose strand of my hair and tucked it behind my ear. He stared at me for a long time as if he were struggling for words.
I whispered, “Talk to me⦔
Aidan exhaled before he began. “I was scared, Liz, scared of how I was feeling for you.” Shamefaced, Aidan paused for a moment. “You know me, usually if I hang out with a girl, it ends up as a hook-up. I never told anyone about my mom, my life⦠it scared the crap out of me.” He reached for my hand and held it while the pad of his thumb swept back and forth. “I'm sorry for being such a jerk at your party. Dancing with that girl. I know I hurt you. After I kissed you in your room, I knew you'd expect things to be different between us. I wasn't ready for a relationship. Or, I thought I wasn't ready. I was an idiot, and, like a fool, I pushed you away. I didn't realize how much I cared about you until I cut you out of my life. I feel like I lost my best friend.” Aidan paused and shifted in his seat, “I know I hurt you, and I hate myself for it. I'm so sorry. I wish I could go back and change every stupid thing I did, but I can't. All I can do is ask you to forgive me and hope you can.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes. I tried to absorb his words. His gaze met mine and he let out a deep breath. He seemed so vulnerable and stripped bare.
“I miss you, Liz. I miss everything about you. Do you think we could start over?” The desperation in his voice was undeniable.
Aidan was still holding my hand when Melissa and Mason walked through the door. I didn't have time to respond. My eyes focused on a wide-eyed Melissa, and when I glanced at Mason, his stunned expression was locked on our clasped hands.
“What's going on? What are you doing here, Aidan?” Mason's troubled tone was starting to sound annoyed.
Aidan's chair screeched as he got up. I felt the warmth of his hand leave mine as he pulled away.
“I heard Liz was hurt, and I needed to talk to her.”
Mason ran a hand through his hair as Melissa left his side to stand by me.
“About what?” Mason's unblinking eyes were locked on Aidan.
Aidan approached him. “This doesn't have anything to do with you, Mason.”
Melissa and I both watched the tension build between them. Mason took a step forward.
“Yeah, I think it does. When I walk in here and see you holding hands with my sister? It has a lot to do with me.”
“I care about her.” Aidan glanced at me then back to Mason.
“Sure ya do.” Mason smirked.
“You can be such a jerk sometimes.” Aidan bit back.
“Me? I'm not the one who sleeps with anything with a pulse. And if you think my sister is going to be the next⦔
“Stop it!” I cried. All eyes focused on me. “I can't listen to this right now. Please, just stop,” I begged.
The room was silent. Melissa had to move out of the way when Aidan walked boldly to my bedside. He leaned down, the warmth of his breath against my ear then whispered, “Just think about what I've said.”
The words lingered through my mind as Aidan gently kissed my head. He brushed past my scowling brother and exited the room.
Mason took a few calming breaths before he approached me. “What the⦠Liz. I don't want you with Aidan⦠you know how he is. He treats girls like crap.”
Melissa stroked his arm and told him to calm down. Mason didn't seem to hear her.
“Tell me what's going on.”
My eyes welled with tears. I was in no mood to fight with Mason, especially since I knew he was right.
Melissa grabbed Mason's arm harder. “Mason! Leave her alone. You can talk about this later.”
“I need some air.”
Melissa and I watched as Mason stalked from the room. She turned back to me and gave my hand a firm squeeze.
“Are you okay?” Melissa asked as she comforted me with a sympathetic smile. “What happened?”
Unsure if she was asking about the dogfight or Aidan, I again retold my experience of earlier that day. An awkward silence was between us, but knowing how inquisitive Melissa was, I started in before she had time to ask me any questions.
“I wanted to tell you about Aidan, but knowing how you felt about him, I just couldn't. I was trying to figure things out on my own. I was doing pretty good with everything, until now.” I sighed. “Now I don't know what to do.”
Melissa was absorbed in my words. I filled her in on every detail leading up to that day. She leaned back in her chair and exhaled.
“I'm just worried about you, Liz. What if you decide to give Aidan a chance and he hurts you? Do you think he can change?”
“I don't know, Melissa. I still need to talk to him.”
My parents walked in the room. Dad was holding a bunch of balloons, and Mom was holding a bag. Melissa got up, but I reached for her arm, and she leaned in close.
“Could you fill Mason in on everything? He might take it better coming from you.”
“I'm not so sure about that, but I'll do my best.” She said goodbye to my parents and me then left the room.
A few minutes later Mason came back and approached my bed. My dad was tying the balloons to a table and my mom was pulling out clothes and toiletries from the overnight bag.
“I'm sorry I lost my temper. I just want the best for you, and I don't think Aidan is it.”
A few tears fell from my eyes when Mason reached down and hugged me. “I'm so glad you're alright,” he whispered.
I sobbed while my brother held me.
****
The next morning, Dr. Lee examined me one last time and gave me the green light to go home. A nurse I'd never seen before handed my mom discharge papers, information regarding wound care, along with a prescription for antibiotics. By the time we walked out of the hospital doors, it was almost 3:00 p.m. My body ached, and my head still throbbed, but knowing I would be home soon made me feel better.
Mom helped me walk through our front door. A gimpy Maggie immediately greeted me. Tears fell as I coaxed her back to her bed and inspected her sutures. My face nestled into hers, and I caressed her soft fur and covered her in kisses. She looked horrible, but her injuries didn't seem to affect her mood. She was still as playful as ever. I told her to stay. My mom helped me up the stairs. We headed straight to my bathroom.
“Thank you, Mom⦠but I'm okay now.”
“Alright, sweetie, I'll check on you in a bit.”
When my mom shut the door, I turned the bathtub on full blast. Before the hot water covered the room with steam, I stared at myself in the mirror above the sink. My bruise looked worse today than yesterday. It was an array of colors ranging from a muted yellow to a garish purple.
Lovely.
I removed my clothes, thankful my mom had brought me a front-button shirtdress from her closet. I balanced myself against the wall and placed one pointed toe in the hot water. The other foot soon followed, and I eased down into the water. With a towel rolled up behind my neck, I leaned back against the tub and rested my bandaged arm on the ledge. I closed my eyes and let the hot water envelope my aching body while the steam billowed around me. My thoughts were consumed with Aidan.
He wants to start over. He misses me. He's sorry for how he's treated me. He's never shared about his life with anyone, but he did, with me.
A knock at the door freed me from my dilemma. It was my mom asking me if I was okay. I told her I was fine, because I was. Finally, I knew exactly what I was going to do.
I'd texted Aidan earlier and told him I had thought about what he'd said and was ready to see him. He wanted to pick me up after he got off work, but since Mason was home, I decided meeting him elsewhere would be better. My mom was happy to bring me to meet him. Aidan had charmed h
er
months ago during our tutoring sessions and band practice. S
he
adored him.
“Ouch! Careful, Mom.” I jerked my head away when my mom pulled the brush through my damp hair.
“Oh, Liz, I can't believe you got your hair wet when the doctor told you not to!”
“I couldn't handle how my hair felt. I had to wash it. It was gross. Besides, I was careful.”
My mom inspected the back of my head and strategically placed my hair away from the stitches.
“Your stitches look good, but still â I wish you hadn't. You have to be careful.” Mom scanned the floor and picked up my dirty clothes. “What time do you want me to drop you off at the harbor?”
“How about in an hour?” I handed her my wet towels.
“Do you need me to pick you up?”
“No, Aidan can bring me home.”
“Okay.” My mom took a step toward me. Her anxious eyes roamed over my bruise and the scrapes on my forehead. “Are you sure you feel good enough to go out?”
“I feel fine, Mom.”
“Okay,” she muttered. Her arms were overloaded with my dirty clothes as she exited my room.
I closed the door behind her, put on a green t-shirt, jeans, boots, and my black pea-coat with a red-and-green tartan scarf. Since Christmas was only a few days away, I thought I'd try and make myself look festive. I glanced at my reflection one last time. My hair looked pretty good, considering it had been a matted mess just an hour before. I applied some mascara and eyeliner, hoping to distract from the scrapes on my forehead and bruise on my face, but I still looked a fright. Oh, well. This was as good as I was going to get.
****
I was about to go inside the small café when my phone chimed with a text.
Aidan:
You there?
Me:
Yes, what do you want to drink?
Aidan:
Nothing. Get us a table and sit. I'll get our drinks.
Me:
I can get them.
Aidan:
Sit. I'll be there in five.
The brisk air of the early evening felt cool against my bruised cheek. I buttoned up my coat and took a seat under one of the green café umbrellas. A gentle breeze carried the aroma of coffee through the air. The railings surrounding the harbor looked beautiful. They were draped with decorated garland and holiday bows. The annual Christmas boat parade had been a few weeks ago, so most of the sailboats were covered in twinkling lights. The harbor was bustling with shoppers, couples walking arm in arm, and plenty of tourists.
In anticipation of Aidan's arrival, I chewed my thumbnail. He'd be here any minute. I was prepared with what I wanted to say to him, but I only hoped my decision was the right one. In the middle of my internal pep talk, I spotted him while he casually maneuvered his way through the crowded walkway. I watched in awe as each female between the ages of fourteen and forty noticed him. Even from a distance, he took my breath away. When he got closer to the café, he scanned the tables, and when his eyes met mine, he flashed me a smile that lit up his face.
Aidan seemed nervous when he approached the table. His hands were stuffed in his front pockets as he rocked on his heels. He hesitated before he leaned over the table and gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek. His blond hair was slicked back, apparently still damp from a recent shower. He smelled clean, and his breath was minty-fresh.
In a whisper he said, “Hi,” then stood up and glanced toward the coffee house.
“Non-fat latte, right?”
“Yes, please.” I smiled.
He fished in his back pocket, grabbed his wallet, and headed into the café. He returned a few minutes later with two steaming paper cups. He placed my latte in front of me and sat down. The sweet aroma drifted between us. Using the steam from the cup, I warmed my hands.
“Are you cold?”
“A little bit.”
Aidan took my hands in his and rubbed them together.
“How are you feeling? You look so much better.” His eyes swept over me.
“Thanks, I feel pretty good. I just wish I didn't look so beat up.”
“You're still beautiful, bruises and all.”
I took a deep breath and began the dialogue I'd rehearsed in my head all afternoon, except I decided to change my opening statement after his recent compliment.
“Was I not beautiful before?” I took a sip of my latte. It warmed my insides while it slid down my throat. I glanced at Aidan as he moved his chair closer toward mine.
“You were always beautiful. I was just too stupid to see it.” Aidan was silent for a few minutes and his eyes shifted from mine to his steaming cup.
I took a deep breath and gazed over the boats docked in the harbor. I gave myself a few more minutes before I finally spoke up.
“I thought about everything you said. You said you were scared. I'm scared too.” When I twisted my body toward him, his eyes met mine. “Just look at you. Girls are always going to be throwing themselves at you. We've even joked about it.”
Aidan held my hand. “Other girls don't matter to me. I want you. Can't you see that?” he countered.
“I came here tonight to tell you to forget about me, about us. That I didn't trust you, and we'd be better off just friends.”
Aidan eyed me cautiously. Several things ran through my mind, but the most unbelievable was he wanted me. I wanted to trust him because he seemed so sincere, but he had already hurt me and I was so worried it would happen again. Part of my subconscious was screaming
Don't be stupid. Don't fall for him,
and the other part was screaming
Don't be stupid. Go for it.
“I want to believe you, but I'm scared.”
Aidan pulled me into his arms and kissed me on my forehead then whispered, “I'm scared too, but let's try.”
I felt myself getting caught in his spell. I reached up and pushed him back so I could look him in the eyes.
“Why did you try and kiss Melissa?” I could tell he was shocked I knew about what had almost happened between them.
After a few minutes he answered. “I don't know. I kept watching how she and Mason were together. I wasn't thinking. I guess I wanted, ya know, what they have together, but what they have, I want with you.”
He answered me with such sincerity I believed him. Maybe I was being a fool, but I believed him. Aidan pulled me into his arms and rubbed my back.
“Please, Liz, forgive me. Give me a chance.”
We sat in silence until I whispered, “Just don't hurt me.”
I felt his body relax.
Then
he
kissed me softly on the lips.
We sat nestled together, gazing over the festive lights. Our coffee was cold, and the café workers started closing down the umbrellas for the night.
“Do you feel up to taking a walk?” Aidan murmured.
“Sure.”
I picked up our cups and threw them in the trash. Aidan reached for my hand and we strolled through the twinkling lights of the harbor. The soft moonlight was shining against the rippling water. Aidan stopped me in front of a railing near the water's edge. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me from behind.
“I've never wanted a relationship before. I promise not to hurt you,” he whispered.
I leaned back into his firm chest while he gave me slow soft kisses from my neck to my cheek. I turned to face him, and his kisses moved to my lips. I reached my arms under his hoodie to feel his warm muscular back. Aidan's touch was firm as he gripped my back, aligning my body with his. He kissed me more aggressively and accidentally bumped my bruised cheek. I winced back in pain. He released me and lightly traced the outline of my bruise with the tips of his fingers.
“Sorry.” He gazed down at me with a look of concern. “I'd better get you home.” He placed his hand on the small of my back and led me toward the parking lot. “Time to face the music,” he said with a wry smile.
“What are you talking about?” I cocked my head and tilted it to the side.
“Your brother.” He opened the passenger side door of his truck and motioned for me to get inside.
“I'll handle Mason. Don't worry about him.”
“I saw how ticked he was. He's not going to take out his anger on you because I've been such an idiot.”
His assertive tone was firm, and I chose not to argue. “Okay⦠but, Mason can be pretty stubborn.”
Aidan leaned in and gave me a big smile.
“And I can be extremely persuasive.”
Then he closed the passenger side door. I watched him as he walked to his side of the truck.
That's what I'm afraid of.