Beautiful Sorrows (4 page)

“Oh no,” said the boy.

The girl leaned over the edge of the cloud and watched the star fall. “What’s wrong?” she asked the boy.

He looked very unhappy. “It’s these hands. I told you that I drop things. Now that star is wasted.”

“Wasted?” asked the girl in disbelief.

The boy nodded. “Wasted.”

The girl smiled. This confused the boy.

“Why are you smiling?” he asked her.

“I don’t think that star is wasted at all!” exclaimed the girl.

“What?”

“In my village, whenever we see a star fall like that, it is called a shooting star. A wishing star. They’re quite delightful!”

“A...wishing star?”

The girl nodded happily. “Yes! A wishing star. If you make a wish on that star, it will come true. I should know; I’ve made dozens myself.”

“Really?”

“Really!” The girl looked at the boy. “So all of this time, you felt badly about these stars dropping through the holes in your hands. When really, it makes people very happy when they do. Silly boy.”

He thought about this. He thought that it made him happy. And when he was happy, his chest hurt. He put his hand over his heart.

“What is it?”

“It’s nothing,” said the boy. “I think I must be happy. Anyway, I have something else to show you. I think this will help you in the village.”

“Really?” asked the girl, excited. But the boy didn’t answer. He had already picked her up and was flying back to the nest.

The girl was quite pleased that she didn’t scream at all.

When they got back to the nest, the boy dug around until he came up with a small box. “Are you ready?” he asked the girl. She nodded, and he opened it.

Inside were many tiny, tiny little stars. They made small sounds and crawled over each other, seeming very pleased to see the boy and the girl.

“They’re beautiful,” whispered the girl. “Why are they so small?”

“They’re babies,” said the boy, and he tried to pick one up. It was so tiny that it slid right through the hole in his hand back into the box. He looked at the girl. “They’re too small for me to throw into the sky, so I keep them here until they get bigger. But I think that they get bored.”

The girl watched them closely. It looked like the little stars were chasing each other in a circle. “Are they playing?”

“Yes. Stars like to play. But they also like to see things, and they don’t get to see much inside of a box. Hold out your hand.”

The girl did so. The boy whispered something to the stars, and the girl heard several happy little chimes. She looked at the boy. “What are they doing?”

“Cheering. Just watch.”

The little stars swarmed into the girl’s hand, and then began to orbit her wrist. They felt cool and bright and made the girl very happy.

“Now you can take them with you,” said the boy. “They really are very happy little things, and I think that you’ll enjoy them. And they’ll get out of the box.”

The girl held her wrist up to her face. The stars seemed to be having a lovely time. “Thank you very much!” she said to the boy, and meant it. He smiled.

“You’re welcome. But there’s another reason that I gave it to you. Come on.” He grabbed her and they headed back to the village.

They landed in the center of town, and the girl looked around her. “What is it that I’m supposed to see?”

“I have a theory,” the boy said. He waited until he saw an old man walk toward them. Then he politely said, “Hello, sir. Do you see this girl here?”

The girl tugged the boy’s sleeve. “I told you that nobody can...”

The old man peered at the girl strangely. “Do I know you?” he asked her.

The girl blinked in surprise. Her mouth fell open. She didn’t know what to say. “I...I don’t know. Do you?”

The old man studied her face. “There was a girl who looked a lot like you, years ago. But she disappeared after her parents died. And she didn’t glow like you do.”

“Glow?” asked the girl.

The old man snorted. “She doesn’t know that she glows?” he asked the boy. They boy shook his head.

“She was invisible until about half an hour ago, you see.”

“Ah,” said the old man knowingly. He turned back to the girl. “You,” he said matter-of-factly, “glow.”

“I do?”

“You do. In fact, there’s no color to you, just light. I think that if you didn’t glow, I wouldn’t see you at all. You’re a very lucky young lady.”

“Um...thank you, sir,” said the girl.

He nodded. “You’re welcome.” And he slowly walked away.

They watched him leave. Then the boy turned to the girl. “What do you want to do now?”

She was slightly shaken. “I think that I want to go home,” she said, and the boy thought that was a fine idea. But it didn’t turn out to be as easy as all that.

It really was a very small village, and when the people heard that there was a boy with wings and a glowing girl, they all wanted to see for themselves. Before long there was a crowd of people pressed around the boy and the girl, and it became quite frightening.

“Hey, I know you!” shouted a voice over the crowd. “You look just like your mother!” Soon other people were shouting about how they recognized the girl, or how they wanted to see the boy fly, or wondering how they could get a bracelet of stars for themselves. It took several minutes until the boy and girl managed to push their way into the little house.

“That was terrible,” said the girl. Her clothes were torn and her hair had been patted and touched and plucked. One of the stars stuck its tongue out at the people still gathered outside.

“That was rather awkward,” agreed the boy as he flopped on the floor. He was missing several long feathers, and his hair was even more wild than usual. “But at least they can see you.”

“Yes,” said the girl, and she smiled. “I am very happy for that. You don’t have to leave, do you?” She looked terrified when the boy started to stand up, and he quickly sat back down. The sky didn’t necessarily need stars tonight.

“No, I can stay,” he said, and they sat very close together, trying to go to sleep.

But it was impossible. The curious people stayed outside of the house, knocking on the doors and peeking in the windows, and the girl had become quite nervous. The boy thought for a while, and then stood up quickly.

“Let’s go,” he said, and they ran out of the house and were up in the sky before the people below them had time to realize what was going on.

When they got to the nest, the boy dropped the girl off and flew off to toss a few stars in the sky, just for fun. When he returned, the girl had already fallen asleep. She had her hand stretched out, and as the boy curled up next to her, he thought that her hand looked very empty, somehow. He thought of what he could put in it, but nothing seemed to fit. Finally he slid his own hand inside of hers, and then nodded with satisfaction. That was exactly right. He realized with some delight that his wings tucked just as nicely around two as they did around just himself, and as he drifted off to sleep he put his other hand on his chest, which was hurting him again.

“Why do you keep touching your chest?” the girl asked him a few days later. The river leaned close to listen. It was very curious, as well.

“Because it hurts sometimes,” said the boy.

“Do you know why?”

“Not really,” he said. He changed the subject. “How are things in the village?”

The girl leaned back in the grass. “Much better, now that people are more used to me. I have some people there that remember my parents. And some of them remember me, too, before I stopped talking. And I guess when you stop talking...”

“People stop seeing you.”

“Right.” The girl watched the boy out of the corner of her eye. He was rubbing his hand over his heart again.

“You must be hurting more and more lately,” she said.

The boy frowned. “I think it is because I have never been so happy. I’ve never really had a friend before...
ow
.”

The girl was worried. “Let me see.”

“No.”

“But I really want to.”

“No,” he said again.

“Please?”

The boy sighed, and then slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He pointed to his heart. “See?” he said.

The girl gasped. The boy’s heart was beating quite nicely inside of his chest. It wasn’t hidden at all.

“Your heart!” she exclaimed.

“What about it?”

“I can see it!”

“Well, of course you can.”

The girl shook her head. “No, a heart is usually deep inside of somebody’s chest. You can’t see mine. Here, take a look.” She showed the boy the skin covering her heart.

He was shocked. “But how do you know that it is there?”

“You can feel it. Put your hand here.” The girl put the boy’s hand on her heart, and she was right. He could feel it beating.

“Amazing,” he said.

“Can I look at yours some more?” she asked him.

The difference in their hearts interested him. “Of course.”

The girl put her face very close to the boy’s heart, and watched it beat. Gently, she stretched out her finger and touched it. It was icy cold.

“It’s beautiful,” she told the boy. “I like it very much.”

This made the boy very happy. His heart started to swell. Immediately, he gasped and clutched at his chest.

“Ah,” said the girl. “I see what the problem is.”

“What is it?” asked the boy after he caught his breath. He noticed that the girl looked worried.

“Your heart has ice around it,” said the girl. She touched his heart again. “That’s why it is so cold. Did you know this?”

“Aren’t all hearts icy?” he asked.

The girl shook her head. “No, they’re not. Ice around a heart is a very bad thing. I remember my mother talking about it before. When you get happy, or love somebody, your heart gets bigger. But if there is ice around it, then there isn’t any room for it to grow. It will try, but it will run into the ice and just...”

“Hurt,” said the boy. He rubbed his chest.

“Yes.”

The boy thought about this. “Sometimes it feels better not to be happy. Because it doesn’t hurt as much.”

The girl nodded. “Much of the world thinks so. But wouldn’t you rather be happy?”

“I don’t know,” he said simply. “I’m not really sure what happiness is.”

The girl bit her lip, studying his heart. She looked up at the boy. “I know how to fix it,” she said. She looked worried.

“What’s wrong?” asked the boy. “Isn’t fixing it a good thing?”

The girl was quiet for a long time. Then she said, “I’m afraid that it is going to hurt you very badly.”

The boy was surprised. The girl stood up and pulled a long, sharp branch off of one of the trees. Her face was serious. “Are you ready, boy?”

The boy began to get nervous. He took a step backward.

The girl pointed the branch at the boy and took aim at his heart.

“I don’t want you to do this anymore,” he told her. “I don’t care if I’m never happy. Happiness might be overrated, anyhow.”

The girl took a step closer, still holding the branch. The boy put first one hand over his chest, and then the other. The holes in his hands exposed his heart perfectly.

The girl smiled at him, a little sadly, and said, “I love you a little, you know.” She rammed the stick right through his hands and into the ice surrounding his heart.

The boy heard a crack and felt something shatter. He screamed and fell in searing pain. He thought that he was going to die.

The girl threw the stick down and ran to the boy.

“Go away!” he screamed. His wings beat the ground in spasms. “Go away go away GO AWAY!”

The girl stood there for a second, unsure of what to do, but when she saw the hateful way that the boy looked at her, she turned and ran through the forest.

Several days went by and there was no sign of the boy. Night after night the girl looked anxiously out of her window into the sky, but there were never any stars. The nights were very dark and cold. The people in the village began to comment on it.

“I think that I killed the boy who hangs the stars,” the girl said to the old woman sitting next to her. They had grown quite fond of each other over the last few days.

“Nonsense,” said the old woman. “I’m sure that he’s just resting. Or maybe he went to visit the sea.”

The girl didn’t believe this for a minute. The old woman realized it immediately.

“Perhaps he’s just brooding then, dear. Young boys do so love to brood.”

“I don’t know,” said the girl. “I think I may have killed him.”

“I doubt it, dear. It is very hard to kill a person.”

The girl looked at the old woman. “I stabbed him in the heart with a sharp stick.”

The old woman opened her mouth, and then shut it again. Finally, she spoke. “Who really needs the stars anyway? They aren’t very useful when you think about it.” Then she got to her feet and shuffled off.