Beautiful Storm (17 page)

An hour later we are both in some posh coffee shop in the centre of town. It’s where Layla wanted to meet. I suspect she thought I wouldn’t turn psycho in a public place.

She doesn’t know me very well.

We’re halfway down our coffees when she arrives and joins the coffee queue. She assesses me from the counter before turning her attention on Bear. Her eyes widen a fraction and rake over him. Her whole body tenses, but a hungry look flares in their depths. Her eyes flick back to mine, but lose the heat. The amused smile on my face must ease some tension and her shoulders relax.

She walks up to the barista and orders a mocha-choca-latte, whatever that shit is. After getting her drink she slides herself into the seat opposite us. The girl behind the counter glares at Layla’s back. I’d watched her approving gaze on us earlier. The petty jealousy makes me chuckle.

The sound dies on my lips as Layla pins me with her eyes. They’re tormented, and full of anxiety. I hadn’t seen it yesterday, but here and now, they glare at me like a distress flare in the darkness. Anguish grips my stomach. I swallow deeply, trying to keep down what’s left of its contents.

“Layla, this is ‘Bear,’ or Ted, if you prefer. He can perhaps help.”

I sense Bear shift in his seat.

She turns to him, her head dips a fraction in acknowledgement, and her face flushes. The spark is visible in her eyes again, but she shuts it down just as fast as it appeared. Her attraction to Bear is obvious, but the worry she’s displaying must override it. I take in her emotion with interest but it doesn’t make me feel any better, just a hell of a lot worse.

“Can you fill me in, Layla?” Bear asks. His voice is tight and the uneasiness makes me turn in his direction. It’s not just his voice; his whole body’s tense.
Weird
.

“I don’t know what Noah has told you, but Lizzie has disappeared. It’s not been long, a few days at most.” The nervous picking of the skin around her nails starts.

She glances at me briefly before continuing, “There… there were reasons she left the first time I can’t go into.” Again her anxious eyes flit to me. “I don’t know whether you heard or not, but Mac overdosed a couple of weeks ago. His maid found him dead.”

I hadn’t heard. I also really don’t fucking care. I’m glad he’s dead. That man had what should’ve been mine. Fucker.

Bear glares at me, expecting me to react to Layla’s comment in some derogatory manner, so I bite my tongue to stop myself from saying anything. My pulse pounds in my ears as pressure builds in my veins. What has this got to do with anything?

“She was getting ready to come home. Not for the funeral like you’re thinking,” she adds in haste. “She wouldn’t have gone there if you paid her. Lizzie was just coming home.” This time she bites at the skin surrounding her nail beds. The woman is as nervous as a lamb surrounded by wolves.

Layla’s eyes sear into mine. It’s like she wants me to understand something, but at this point I’m barely functioning and have to concentrate to even breathe. The pain, ever-present in my chest, amplifies with every word Layla utters. Lizzie was coming back. I take a gulp of my coffee to hide the shuddery breaths racking my body.

“I don’t understand why I can’t get a hold of them, her or Alex. If she stays away, she tells me. Not to say anything is just so out of character for her.”

“Maybe they have gone on a trip? Have you contacted the police?” Bear asks.

I want to yell at the mention of this Alex fucker again. I flex my fists at my sides to control the urge to smash them into the table.

Layla gives a solemn shake of her head. “They’d just laugh at me. It’s not been long enough, and she’s an adult. It’s not the same as when a child goes missing, is it?”

Bear breathes a visible sigh of relief. If the police don’t know then we’re not interfering with anything they’re doing. On the flip side, they’re not interfering with us either.

“Why did you come to Noah?” Bear’s suspicious. He’s worried she knows about me, and in turn, about him. I see him rub his abdominals where his Underdog tattoo is, and my stomach begs me to scratch the itch of mine.

“Lizzie trusted him.” She stares him straight in the eye, her gaze firm and unwavering. She truly believes what she’s saying.

“Yeah, but she’s been gone for years. Things change.” As usual, Bear’s poking the beast.

Her head drops and she takes a sip of her coffee concoction. “Not a lot changes when you love someone more than your own life.”

If she’s talking about Lizzie she’s got that one wrapped around her arse. She lifts her eyes to mine then to Bear.

“I thought maybe I was barking up the wrong tree as well. I mean, it’s a bit random just turning up on your best friend’s ex’s doorstep and asking for help. But when I saw Noah the backlash I received could only come from a man desperately hurt, and still very much in love. It was obvious how hard it was for him to hear about her. Lizzie’s trust in him has never wavered, not once, and I can see why.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I spit out through clenched teeth. I’m holding onto a very small rope and have the feeling my hands are going to let go any second. Bear scowls at me, willing me to keep it under control. But when it comes to Lizzie I have very little control left.

She lets out an exaggerated sigh and looks me in the eye, not in the least intimidated by my anger. “Do you honestly not see?” She raises her eyebrows at me. “Can’t you put together the little bits I’ve told you? Make them into a whole story, even if missing a few bits of information I
can’t
give you? Personally I don’t know why she just didn’t tell you. You radiate badass, which on the flip side means you would have protected her. It would have saved a lot of pain on both sides.”

My mind’s going to explode. I’m going to explode. What in the hell is going on? I shove my chair back, making a loud screech on the floor and spilling coffee all over the table. Everyone in the shop turns to look. I don’t give a fuck. I storm out of the coffee house into the fresh air needed to breathe normally again. But I stumble out onto the pavement and curse my fucked-up life. There is no way that what Layla’s implying is true. No fucking way, because if what she’s saying is true, then all the pain was for nothing. And that’s worse than being for something, much worse. Protected her? Of course I would have fucking protected her. I’ve killed for a fucking living.

She didn’t know that though, did she?

My nostrils flare and I struggle to heave in each breath. I feel… helpless. Helpless and fucking angry. Never a good combination. Helplessness makes you careless. Anger makes you volatile, and together they make you weak. When someone finds your weakness you’re fucked. And that’s how I feel right now, right this instant. Right royally fucked, with bells on.

I look around the street and people are staring at me. Let them fucking stare, see if I care. I’m falling apart with nothing to catch the pieces except the cold, hard ground.

Spotting a bench nearby, I stride over to it and sit my arse down. My head collapses into my hands and I stare at the floor, willing it to swallow me up. Spit me out. God, anything that would stop the fucking fragments unravelling, and the war raging in my mind.

“She must be some woman, eh?”

I whip my head up. On my left sits an old man. The wrinkles lining his weathered face tell a multitude of tales of their own. He’s dirty, unkempt, and the stench from him turns my guts. I don’t answer him.

“Yes, I thought so,” he laughs, and then coughs, one of those coughs that sound like a lung’s going to appear at any second.

“Let me tell you, lad, I fell in love once. She may not have been everyone’s cup of tea, but she was definitely mine.” A glint sparks in his milky eyes. “Red hair, like a sunset, and a smile which could keep me warm on the coldest of days.” And a sad smile creeps on his face displaying his rotten teeth.

I’m not sure why I’m listening to him, but there’s just something about his countenance, which has me rooted to the spot. I should just get up and walk away. He clearly has a screw loose.

“There’s nothing like those courting days when everything’s fresh and new, but life gets in the way sometimes, you know?” I nod in automatic response.

“Don’t let it,” he voices, his tone resolute.

“What?” I’m not following him.

“It’s not what, it’s ‘pardon,’” he scolds at me. “Don’t let life get in the way. You only get one chance at life. One chance at real love, or if you’re lucky, maybe two. But from the look on your face, lad, it’ll be the once, and if you let life get in the way, you won’t have a life. Yes, you’ll live, but that’s not a life; that’s an existence. A life is full of love, warmth.” He stands up. “An existence is just that, existing to live from one day to the next, with nothing to warm you in the coldest of days. I should know.” He leaves, hacking his way down the street.

I stare after him, amazed by the old man who wasn’t intimidated by my size, tats, or piercings. His words hit hard because what I’m doing is exactly that, existing. Could he see that? As I stare at the back of the tramp walking further away, I feel calmer, like the conflict inside subsides with each step he takes. Shaking my head at his audacity, I stand up and head off back to the coffee shop.

Walking through the door, I sense the eyes of everyone on me, but ignore them and relax back at the table. Bear eyes me with curiosity, my sudden calm as much as shock to him as it is to me. Layla’s face is flushed, probably in anger at me.

“Where are we up to?” My composed tone doesn’t give away any of my earlier turmoil.

“Have you worked it out yet?” Layla asks.

I rock back in my chair and let my head loll backwards, eyes staring at the ceiling as I run through Layla’s information from earlier again. I sit forward and the chair’s legs give a satisfying thud as they connect with the floor again.

“If I’ve got this straight, you’re telling me Lizzie left because she had no other choice. You’re also saying if she’d have just told me, I probably could have protected her from whatever it was which drove her to push me away.”

“Stating the obvious, but keep going,” she urges.

I think a minute more, running over the information one more time. “You said she was coming home, so whatever it was that made her leave has changed.” She nods at me. “Are you telling me that bastard dying meant she could come home?” I begin to snort like a raging bull again.

“I’m not telling you anything; you’re working it out.” Layla smiles at me.

Glaring at her, I replay the information over and over again in my head. But I’m coming up blank. I’m missing something important, but also know there’s no way she’s going to give it to me. As much as it frustrates me, it’s nice to know Lizzie’s choice in friends is solid. Layla has her back. That much is clear.

Layla stares out the window in silence. As I’m watching her, it’s impossible not to notice her eyes widen, and her hand moves to cover a choked gasp, which struggles from her throat. Before what I assume is relief flashes through them. As I turn, my eyes flash past Bear’s unconcerned but watchful face and towards the window.

I stand up abruptly and my chair flies back and crashes down behind me. Bear jumps from his seat in automatic response to my posture and glances around for something he can’t see.

My response is feral. I bend down and move right into Layla’s face. She must have known.

“You think this is fucking funny.” I spit the words at her. Anger seeps from every inch of my body. She backs away as much as her chair will allow, panic clearly present in her eyes.

Bear grabs hold of my arm to pull me back from her, but I shrug him off.

“Fuck off.” The sound echoes around the now silent coffee shop. I glance around at the customers watching me, and then back out the window.

Lizzie.

“Noah, calm down. What are you doing?” Concern laces through Bear’s anger.

“I’m fucking leaving,” I grind out.

I’ve been played.

I crash out the door and onto the street and straight into a body. My arms wrap around it instinctively. Warm, sun-heated shoulders greet my fingers, setting them on fire. Each breath I take is assaulted with a scent I know all too well. The combination sends tremors through my body.

This can’t be happening.

Blinded by the haze of anger, I’ve barged straight into the cause of it. Her face is down and covered by strands of wavy, caramel hair, yet I know it’s her without even seeing it. She’s as frozen as I am.

I fight my body to let her go as my fingers release her shoulders, and the spell holding us prisoner breaks. Yet the few steps I take to back away from her are still like fighting quicksand. Her head lifts, and the hair falls away from her face.

Fuck me if she isn’t the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. It’s been years since the last time I laid eyes on her, and in that time everything and nothing has changed.

Her eyes widen. I know it’s shock. I know every look that has ever crossed her beautiful fucking face. They’re etched into my memory. Hieroglyphs on stone less permanent. But I don’t understand it. She knew I’d be here.

“How… Um…” She flounders for something to say, but I don’t want to hold a conversation. I need to get far away, but the tip of her tongue grazes her bottom lip and nails me to the spot.

“Noah?” My name on her lips strikes through my heart, and spurs me to move.

Layla rushes past me and engulfs Lizzie in her arms. “Lizzie. Thank God you’re all right. Where have you been?”

Lizzie returns Layla’s embrace, but her gaze never leaves mine as she responds with something I can’t hear. The only sound in my head is white noise mixed with the rush of blood coursing through my ears.

“Mate?” Bear’s voice bursts into the noise in my head. My eye contact with Lizzie breaks as I turn towards him.

A hand grasps at my elbow and the contact sends electric pulses shooting across my skin. My head whips back around and I glare at her. If I don’t get away soon I’m going to do something stupid. Like hold her. Beg her to be mine.

Her bottom lip trembles and her storm-filled eyes glint at me as she pulls her hand away. And because I’m a bastard I finish her off. “I wish I could say it was a pleasure to see you, but we both know that’s not true.”