Beautiful Torment (10 page)

“Because it’s wrong.
It’s all wrong
,” he closes his eyes and leans his head back.

“It doesn’t feel wrong,” I whisper.

He sighs, baffled yet bemused. “I know.”

When he opens his eyes they’re burning, and I swallow hard. “But that’s why you’re trouble,” he shakes his head. “Because you make all the wrong things feel right.”

“Maybe you’re the one who’s trouble then,” I counter, my breath hitching.

“Maybe,” he’s now trying to fight a grin, and for the next few moments, the air is thick with silence.

“Don’t disappear again for days,” he runs his fingers through his hair, and I nod.

“I’m sorry if what I said made you uncomf-”

“I’m the one who should be apologizing,” he interrupts, shaking his head.

“I don’t want you to,” I take a step forward and he takes a step back, hitting the door behind him, like he doesn’t want to be near me. He sees how that one gesture is like a punch in my gut.

“Please don’t look so devastated,” he begs, his face sad and pleading.

“Please don’t hate me,” I counter.

“Hate you?” He laughs. “I wish I could feel something as easy as hate when it comes to you,” he shakes his head. “I could never hate you.”

“But you could never like me,” I retort, confirming the true meaning of his words.

“I like you,” he replies, his eyes vivid and warm. “More than I should.”

I nod, thinking, already knowing he does; yet for some reason, I’m beaming over the actual words.

“Well,” I clear my throat, watching as he studies me. “We’re obviously friendly, and have a lot in common…” I pause, my voice cracking, “…and have a good time together.” He’s fighting an amused look as each phrase leaves my mouth. “What if we just see?”

“See what?” He practically snaps as an incredulous look crosses his face. “How badly I want you? I think you know the answer to that,” he huffs, and despite his tone I still can’t help my smile. “And in case, for some strange reason you don’t, here’s a hint:
It’s a lot
.”

“I was just thinking if we get it out of our system, maybe we can go back to being normal,” I’m desperate, trying anything I possibly can to just touch him in some way, shape, or form.

“Normal,” he lets out another laugh, and I watch as he fights some sort of internal battle against himself. He closes his eyes and tilts his head back. It makes a loud banging noise as it falls against the door.

“Just one kiss?” I mumble, so hopeless, so turned on, so suddenly confident around him. “Please?”

His eyes are still closed, but he smiles, a blissful agony. When he opens them and meets mine,
I falter
, because for the first time I can
truly see
the affect
I have on him
. It’s like a mask just melted right off. It’s beautiful.

It’s like
I’m living
for the very first time.

But I don’t want to force this, or
make it
happen, not if he can’t accept it too.

“I can go,” I bite my lip.

“You probably should,” he groans, and I nod. “… But I don’t want you to.” He takes a step closer, my face perking up. “I’m warning you, Luci,” he smiles as he says my name. “If you stay, I can’t keep fighting it.”

“Then don’t,” I whisper.

“You say it like it’s so easy,” he lets out a breathy laugh.

“It doesn’t have to be difficult.”

His eyes are on fire, and I can’t look away, watching as he continues to approach me at an unbelievably slow pace.

“Just one kiss,” he shakes his head, confirming more to himself than me.

“Just to see what it’s like,” I whisper. “To give in.”

“Just this
one
,” he breathes, his expression pained.

“One kiss and that’s it.” I nod, agreeing.

“Are you sure?” He asks, his voice hoarse as stops directly in front of me.

Am I sure?!
I almost laugh in his face. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life! “Are you?” I counter, inhaling his delicious scent, extending my fingers, so ready to devour him.

“God, yes,” he lifts his hand and brushes the hair behind my ear. I lick my lips, waiting, anticipating. He moans loudly, inches from my face. “Kiss me then,” he breathes as he seals his mouth onto mine.

His lips are firm, yet soft. His slow, sensual movements send a raging current through my body. I’ve never felt more whole, or alive. I press my mouth harder against his as our lips continue to crash together in beautiful unison. His thumb grazes the corner of my mouth before he pulls back.

My eyes dart open.

No, this can’t be over already!

His expression tells me it’s not, and I relax. “So soft… just like I imagined,” he mummers before meeting my mouth again.

I’ve died and gone to heaven. I have to be dreaming.

Our leisurely kiss becomes urgent as our mouths open and his tongue lightly strokes mine. His other hand reaches for me, both of them now cradling my face. I open my eyes again, just to make sure this is real. When I see how much he’s enjoying this too, I close them, savoring the feeling of
finally
being able to wrap my arms around him. My hands press into his back, feeling the softness of his shirt and the firmness of his body underneath. I sink into him. He feels better than breathing. He moans at my touch and something suddenly erupts in both of us.

We’re going at it with so much force I think we may fall over. I feel him smile as he grabs hold of my face even harder. His kiss turns almost aggressive, opening my lips with his so he can dip his tongue deeper inside. His licks desperately meet mine with need, swirling together in a soft yet violent way, not nearly getting enough.

“Oh god,” he growls, pushing his hips into the space between us. He’s hard and twitches against my stomach, and I moan loudly.

His hands move from my face down to my sides as he presses his fingers into my hips, grabbing on. I move mine from around his waist to his stomach, and up his firm, strong chest, all the way to his smooth, yet stubbly face, until they finally settle in his hair, gripping on to his messy stands. He holds on to me, bringing me closer, until I’m unsure if it’s his racing heartbeat against me or mine.

“Okay” he pants. “Luci.” He pulls back slightly, still meeting my lips between his words. He can’t stop, even if he tries.

I know the feeling.

I mumble for him to shut up, because I don't want him to think, or come to his senses; I just want to continue like this.

Forever.

He backs me against the counter, and next thing I know he’s lifting me up onto it. He grunts just as I groan, and it feels good to open my legs as I straddle his waist. His hardness suddenly hits me
there
, and I groan again in an almost roaring way.

He’s slamming against me, right where I need it, and he moans in my mouth, feeling it too. Despite us both having our clothes on, the sensation is
fantastic
. He’s solid and heavy against me, my swollen ache completely unbearable now, but this is helping. Shit, is this feeding it in such a delicious way! I start moving against him too, meeting his rocking thrusts. It’s so satisfying!

His moans get louder each time he pushes his hips forward to meet mine, back and forth, over and over again.

“God, Luci,” he cries.

Our hands are everywhere, pulling and grabbing. We can’t get any closer, but we’re desperately trying. His track pants are swishing against my thin sweats, a steady rhythmic sound in the otherwise silent room.

My breath comes faster as I spread my legs even wider, pushing, needing more. He stills and I feel his penis pulse against me. I know he wants this just as badly as I do and my heart soars.

I grab onto his hips harder, pulling and swaying, urging him to move again. He’s throbbing and incredibly thick against me, but God, just please push forward again! I have to keep moving. It makes the ache so much better! Please! I shove my hips against him once more and he finally meets my thrust, smiling against my mouth, giving me exactly what I need before kissing me again.

I’m soaked, and I know I’m getting his pants wet too, but he doesn’t seem to notice or care. He’s panting hard, his mouth against mine with dire need, like we’re glued together and can’t let go. I love how he continually pounds himself against me now, not stopping, and I moan loudly. His grunts are deep as he moves, and his hands settle on the top of my ass, aiding me, pulling me up and down against him, rocking us even faster than before. Our breaths and moans are getting heavier, but we don’t slow.

Oh that’s it! I speed up, wrapping my legs around him even tighter, feeling him grow as he rubs himself against me so damn well.

“Yes, Luci,” he pants, loving my newly quickened pace. “That’s it! Grind up against me!”

He sucks on my lower lip and I feel my orgasm about to rip through my body.

“Fuck, you’re going to make me come like this,” he growls.

“Me too,” I groan in response, feeling him swell even further, rubbing me out so quickly. “You’re rubbing me just the way I like it,” I tell him.

He moans in response and I start to shake, feeling the wave approach. It’s just on the horizon now.

Fuck, this is so much better than my fingers!

He stops mid kiss as his mouth falls open, his head tilting back before his forehead lands on mine. He looks me in the eyes and smiles, still thrusting with an unrelenting force.

“Oh god, oh god, I can't stop,” he cries. I can picture his tip, swollen and red, ready to burst, and I moan loudly. “Here it comes!” He shouts through clenched teeth. His hands are holding onto my hips so tightly I wouldn't be surprised if they leave a mark.

I
want
them to leave a mark.

I let out an intelligible sound, trying to hold back because I don’t want this to end, but I can’t stop it.

“Uh, Luci! I’m coming!” He gives one last hard thrust before stilling. Low grunts escape his lips, and even though his hips are no longer moving, I feel the hard pulsing of his shaft against me with every burst of come, beating against my sweet spot.

One pulse and burst, two, three, and I'm there.

“Ah!” I all but scream, my shaking uncontrollable as my orgasm takes over. My legs extend, locking in place.

“Oh! It feels so good!”

He starts to rock his hips again slowly as he pants along with me.

“Oh, Luci,” he whispers as he pumps against me. I can still feel him coming; the thick bursts of wetness soaking through our clothes each time he releases, the pressure feeding my own orgasm.

He rocks us a few more times as we both ride this out to the very end, grunting, kissing, and breathing hard.

It's quiet, except for our panting. I’m waiting for him to flip out as he backs away, but instead he smiles with a dazed expression, placing his hands on my thighs as he gives me the lightest of kisses.

He touches my face, our breathing still labored.

I hear the swish of his pants and look down, noticing just how wet they are from the mixture of our juices.

“Sorry,” I motion to his crotch area.

I hate how it's the first thing I say, since I'm anything but.

“You won't be once you see yours,” he laughs, and I’m still shocked he's not freaking out. I look down and see the massive dark circle he’s talking about, but I’m far too happy to care.

“Wow,” I sigh heavily, not at the stain, but over the amazingness that just happened. I’m still anticipating his regret, bracing myself for when it comes.

“Yeah,” he exhales loudly as he helps me down from the counter before gathering his things.

I grab my bag and coat; thankful it covers me enough to hide my pants.

We’re quiet, and I’m a little ashamed after falling apart in front of him, but I don’t want this to be it for us.

“Well… I’ll see you tomorrow,” I croak as I zip up my jacket and hoist my bag over my shoulder.

“At least let me walk you outside,” he sighs, running his fingers through his hair, embarrassed too. “You’re not going to be all weird around me now are you?” He exhales loudly and I open the door and wait in the doorway as he shuts the lights.

“You’re not going to let that be the only time we kiss, are you?” I jokingly counter.

“Luci,” his face falls and I know I should be happy that it happened at least once, that I finally
know
I’m not crazy, and that he feels it too, but call me selfish, because that kiss
can’t
be the last. How can it be
after that
?

“Was it not good?” I ask lowly, even though no one else is around. It’s so late; it has to be almost 5 by now.

“Don’t be absurd,” he laughs. “I haven’t came in my pants since I was a teenager, and even then, I don’t think I ever have.”

“Look,” I hold my hands up.