Beautifully Broken (24 page)

He
strides into the room all cocky, grinning at me. I watch him take a seat opposite
my desk folding his hand on my desk.

“I
figure now that the world’s seen what kind of slut you were dealing with you’d
be ready to see me.” the mischievous glint in his eyes disgusts me. He thinks
I’ll be so angry I’ll continue to do his bidding. Fuck that, those days are
over. When I thought he was the only family I had in this world I bent over
backwards to make him proud, now I realize he’s a fraud much like most of my
life.

“You
look like shit by the way,” he says leaning back in his chair. “You shouldn’t
let some bitch you just met three seconds ago impact you this way. You see son,
women will drag you around by the collar for years just to decide you aren’t
good enough. I thought I taught you that lesson when your mother left but I
guess you needed to learn on your own.” He smirks proudly.

I’m
not even sure anymore why I let him in here. Everything he says rings false and
I’m getting really sick of his
I told you so
cocky grin. “Get out” I say
calmly watching his eyes grow wide.

“What?”
he sputters.

“I
said get out, I have enough shit to deal with and I don’t need your arrogant
speeches and condescending disposition. Leave.” I demand. He gets up and leans
in over the desk, eyes wild and nostrils flaring.

“You
are my son and you will respect me. I’m not sure who’s responsible for this
change in you, your mother or that little slut. Once they trample all over you
and you see I was right you know where to find me.” he storms out my office and
a sense of relief floods me. If Ella has changed me I’m glad. Glad that I won’t
be as miserable and destructive as that man.

It’
8 o’clock in the evening when I decide I need to go home. I buried myself under
work but my addiction to her hasn’t relented. If I could just see her face or
smell her I know I’ll feel better. I jump in my car and break speed limits to
get there before I change my mind.

She’s
splayed out on the couch in one of my shirts when I walk in. She pounces up
from the couch then physically restrains herself from launching at me. She
anxiously pulls at the long sleeves of the shirt she’s wearing, covering most
of her hands. I watch her mentally build up the courage to approach me, her
movements slow and hesitant.

“Hi”
she says as she stops in front of me. She smells sweet like strawberries and I yearn
to wrap her in my arms and keep her there forever. I nod at her acknowledging
her greeting not sure if I’m ready to have words with her, I just wanted to see
her, be in her presence.

“Is
it okay if we talk?” she asks.

“Talk”
I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly.

“Liam
I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe nothing is going
on with Cayden. I love you. I want to be with you. Cayden’s a psychologist; he
was just helping me through a rough time.”

“If
he’s your doctor why don’t you meet with him in his office? What’s with all the
physical contact?” I ask finally finding my voice.

“He’s
not officially my doctor he’s more my friend. Something about him calms me, I
feel like he understands me.” My lips tighten, rising slightly on one side
unable to hide the disgust I feel from her declaration.

“You
have to be able to let me have male friends without getting excessively
possessive” she continues.

“I
was there when you met him; I saw the look in his eyes when you introduced me
as your boyfriend. He wants you Ella, I may be wrong about Harris but I know
what I saw in that man’s eyes.”

“It
doesn’t matter what he wants because I only want you.” She gets bold and
caresses my face and I let her because I miss her touch. Her fingers skim my
neck and slide over my shoulders.
Stop her. Stop her.
My brain screams
at me but I’m so fucking weak I let her caress my chest and watch her eyes
darken with lust.

Her
hand flutters over my fly and I jerk back. “Stop”

She
stares at me astounded, like I just threw a bucket of cold water over her head.

“I’m
not going to let you pacify me with sex.”

“That
wasn’t what I was trying to do Liam.” She says moving in on me.

“Ella…”
I huff looking into her darkened gray eyes. “I’m just tired of not coming in
first to you,” she tries to interrupt but I put a hand up to stop her. “You have
Lucas to be your treasured friend, you have Richard Harris to be your confidant
and apparently your protector and now this Cayden is your savoir. Every man in
your life has a role. What’s my role Ella?”

“You’re
all of that to me Liam. None of those men have me the way you do.”

“You’re
wrong; I have to pull every piece of information out of you. I watch you with
Harris and you’re so carefree. With me you’re always reserved, trying to keep
something hidden like you don’t trust me to be there for you. You didn’t even want
to tell me about your panic attacks I had to drag it out of you.” I remind her.
Her eyes dart across my face before lowering to the ground.

“My
role is to fuck you, it’s what you need me for but I can’t settle for that
Ella. I need more from you. I need us to be more than what I can do for you in
bed. I want to possess all of you not just one sector of your life.” I walk off
and head into one of the spare bedrooms, I can’t sleep in the same bed with her
but I need to at least be in the same house.

Isabella

He’s
right. I was so busy trying to hide facets of my life that I didn’t even
realize I was shutting out the one person I know understands me. He stood here
and analyzed things in me that I couldn’t even see.

But
he’s also wrong, I don’t use him for sex. I crave him sexually but I also love
his ability to make me smile and his soft affectionate nature. I love how he
makes me evaluate myself in a new light or how unconditionally he loves me. The
sex is great but Liam as a whole is astounding. Two months ago when I walked
into his club he changed my life way more than I’ve changed his. He gifted me a
new life with new friends and most importantly-love.

I
head to our room dreading sleeping in that huge bed alone. I plug in my iPhone
and curl into a ball under the sheets.  This is my payment for how I left
Lucas, this excruciating pain eating away at my insides. I made him feel used and
invalid in my life. I don’t even know how to begin to fix this, everything I
say seems to be wrong and I don’t want to make it worst so I lay here imagining
him alone in the next room.

I
know I have to come clean with him about my past but it terrifies me. Fear that
he might give up on us chokes me and for the second time since meeting Liam I
do something I don’t allow myself to do. Cry.

I
cry for the pain I’ve caused him, for the lost part in me that won’t let me be
happy. But mostly I cry out of fear of losing Liam and this new life I’ve come
to love. Body wracking sobs burst free and I hope the music is loud enough to conceal
the sounds.

My
sobs turn to trembling whimpers as I slowly drift off to Rihanna’s California
king bed. I’m a sucker for mood music but this song is tearing me up inside. I
move to turn it off when a strong arm holds me back. I turn sharply, watching
Liam as he pulls me into his arms. The song forgotten I gaze into his beautiful
green eyes hoping this is real and not just a wishful dream.

He
reaches his hand out and dries my tears, my eye shutting from the thrill that
races up my back from that simple touch. “I love you,” I whisper against my
pillow. “I want to give you all of me, I just don’t know how. Please don’t give
up on me” I open my eyes glad that he’s still there. He moves closer, kissing
my face lovingly.

“I
won’t,” he says as he tucks my head under his chin, running his hand down my
back. I don’t know how many chances I will get with Liam but I know I need to
tell him about my past soon. Exhaustion sets in as he caresses me into
dreamland.

“I
love you too Ella…I love you too.” I hear before drifting off into a content
repose.

Once
her secrets are revealed will Liam be able to keep her safe from her past.

Liam
and Ella’s story continues…April 2
^nd
2013

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