Beauty and the Running Back (10 page)

Chapter Nine

Dean

I make my way through a sea of scantily clad sorority girls,
red plastic cup in hand. It’s the first night of spring break here at Rayburn,
and the place is going wild. Buck and I have just arrived at the Sigma Nu
house, where a Cancun-themed bash is underway. The tequila is flowing, the
sorority girls are rocking the string bikinis they just broke out after a long
winter, and I’m the reigning king of Rayburn University after bringing in our
latest Bowl victory.

And for all that, I still wish I was freezing my ass off up
in Boston instead of being at this goddamn party tonight.

Don’t get me wrong, the star treatment has been sweet. I’ve
barely had to lift a finger in any of my spring semester classes, now that Ms.
Warren’s class is over. I’ve been partying with my boys, having a grand old
time now that we’re only playing spring games. And to top it all off, I’ve been
getting some calls from scouts in the wake of our Bowl victory. A shot at the
NFL has never seemed more likely.

But as awesome as everything is going right now, every
exciting or happy occasion is kinda dark around the edges. Every time something
great happens, I have to think about how much better it would be if Jessa were
here. I know that she had to go take that workshop at BU to grow as a writer.
She’s shared some of the stories she’s written up there, and they’re totally
amazing, so I know it’s worth the distance. But fuck. I’m glad no one told me
how hard this was gonna be, or I may not have been able to let her go.

“Hey you guys!” I hear Esther sing out from across the room.

I glance up and see Esther and Noel heading over to me and
Buck, cutting across the crowded room. They’re wearing matching bikinis in the
Red Bird cheerleaders colors, and each carry gigantic mason jar margaritas.
Noel’s red hair is gathered into a messy up do, exposing her long, cream-white
neck. Even as she drapes herself across Buck, she keeps her eyes on me. I avert
my gaze, knowing full well that part of the reason she finally agreed to date
my best friend was to make me jealous. And I have to say, it’s working. I’m not
jealous of Buck being able to screw Noel, I’m jealous of the fact that they get
to be physically close. I’d kill to have Jessa as close to me as Noel is to
Buck right now.

“No Royce this evening?” Esther asks, looking around the
room.

“I thought you were done with that asshole?” I ask her,
sipping my beer.

“I mean, I am,” she sighs, “But I know he hasn’t gotten as
much interest from the scouts and recruiters as he was hoping for after the
Bowl. He must be pretty down about it.”

“If he wanted more attention, he should have played a better
game,” Buck shrugs.

“Or stopped being a prick who’s allergic to hard work,” I
add.

Our quarterback has been sulking like a little kid all
spring. I’m trying not to indulge in too much schadenfreude, but I have to
admit that it’s hard not to enjoy his displeasure a little. Guys like Parker
expect the world to be handed to them on a silver platter. Hell, I’m sure he’ll
still have a great life working for one of his dad’s companies or some shit.
But it’s guys like me and Buck, guys who’ve had to work for every scrap in this
life, who are motivated to go the distance. And I, for one, intend to go all
the way.

“You’re looking a little bit down yourself, Crash,” Esther
observes, cocking her head sympathetically. “Everything all right?”

I shoot Buck a warning look, reminding him to keep his mouth
shut. Me and Jessa’s relationship is still a total secret to everyone here at
Rayburn, and I promised I’d keep it that way until she got back. It’s been hard
as hell, only having Buck to talk to about missing her. He’s too busy getting
it on with Noel to be a shoulder to cry on, most of the time. I know people are
wondering why I’m not playing the field as I used to, so I’ve just been telling
them that I need to focus on my game for recruiters.

That would be all well and good if my holding back in the
sex department didn’t make every girl on campus all the more eager to “get
through to me”. I’ve never been more pursued by more women than during these
past three months, and that’s saying something. Even Esther has been turning on
the charm a little more than usual, and she and I have never been anything but
good friends. It’s like this whole damn school is conspiring to turn me into a
cheating piece of shit. But fuck that, it’s not going to happen.

“I’m gonna go grab a refill,” I tell Esther.

She eyes my mostly-full plastic cup, eyebrows raised.

“Sure. The keg is out back,” she tells me.

“Thanks,” I mutter, making my way toward the back of the
house.

I step out onto the crowded outdoor patio, half-heartedly
intercepting people’s greetings and attention, before continuing down into the
grassy backyard. I find an abandoned stone bench away from the party and sink
down onto it, throwing back a long swig of beer. What’s the point of being the
star of your school when what you really want feels like it’s a galaxy away?

“Don’t you know you’re not supposed to drink alone?”

I look up to see Buck standing before me, looking as
concerned as he ever does.

“What’re you doing out here?” I ask, “I thought Noel had you
on a much shorter leash than this.”

“She lets me out for air sometimes,” Buck grins, sitting
down beside me, “She’s a very compassionate master when she wants to be.”

“Jesus,” I laugh, “I never thought I’d see the day Buck
Wallace let himself be whipped.”

“You should talk, bro,” he replies, “You’ve been walking
around like the world is ending ever since Jessa left.”

“It doesn’t feel like the world is ending,” I grumble, “It
just feels like the world is… out to lunch until she gets back.”

“If you’re this miserable without her, why don’t you just go
up to visit?” Buck asks.

“She says she’s too busy for visitors,” I sigh, “She’s in
this advanced workshop—”

“Dude,” Buck cuts in, “You’re so dense. Just because she
says she’s too busy, doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you to make the effort.”

“I don’t know,” I reply, “She usually says what she means,
Buck.”

“Sure,” he says, rolling his eyes, “And Noel is definitely
fucking me for reasons other than wanting to get your attention.”

I look over at him, keeping my mouth shut.

“I know the score,” he shrugs, “But it doesn’t bother me.
Not everyone can be you and Jessa, after all.”

“Even if she did want me to visit,” I go on, “I don’t have
any way of getting up there. My car’s been busted for months, and I haven’t
been able to work up enough cash to fix it. That’s what I get for being an
unpaid college athlete, I guess…”

“You’re forgetting one crucial little detail,” Buck smiles,
“Jessa is in Boston. My hometown is about a half an hour away from there. And I
happen to be heading up in just a few days to visit my folks. Remember?”

A slow smile spreads across my face as I put it all
together.

“What say you and I take a little road trip to go see your
girl?” Buck grins back.

“Fuck yes,” I laugh, lifting my glass—or rather, cup—to my
best friend, “I’m in.”

We drink to make the plan official, and I can feel the storm
clouds that have been swirling overhead for months begin to clear. In a few
short days, I’ll be with Jessa again. Even if it’s only for a little while,
that slice of happiness is sure to get me through until she’s back here for
good.

Now I just have to wait a few more days…

Jessa

I sit at the kitchen counter, chin in hand as I scroll
through my Facebook timeline. It’s spring break back at Rayburn, which means
that all my friends back there are having a ball. Blaire is in London with her
parents, Kelsey is soaking up the sun back home in Los Angeles, and Blake is
clubbing it up in New York with a bunch of his fellow dancers. I know social
media is supposed to make you feel more connected and all, but I couldn’t feel
more alone than I do right now.

We’re a few days into spring break, which means that I have
no online coursework to do while I mope around Allison’s apartment. I have
managed to get some good writing done while I’ve been up here, but my boredom
has turned into a nasty case of writer’s block, as of late. Maybe the little
dude kicking around in my belly is sucking up all my story ideas along with all
my nutrients or something. I run a hand over my rounded belly, wondering for
the umpteenth time today about what life will hold for this little one. That’s
all I’ve been able to think about lately, go figure.

“You’ve been on that computer all morning,” Allie observes,
sitting at the kitchen table with about five textbooks open in front of her.
“Don’t you want to get out of the house, explore Boston a little? It’s finally
starting to thaw out there.”

“I don’t feel like having the entire city stare at me while
I walk down the street,” I tell her, snapping my laptop closed. “It’s like
people have no idea how to mind their own business when it comes to pregnant
women.”

“Well, why don’t we go out together then,” Allie suggests,
“I can be your body guard.”

“Don’t you have studying to do?”

“I could honestly use a break,” she replies. “What do you
say? Come take a walk with me. It’ll be good for you.”

“Oh… all right then,” I relent, “Just as long as I can still
fit these swollen-ass feet into my old sneakers.”

Allison and I throw on our jackets, gather our things, and
get ready to head out. As we’re heading down the steps of her building, I get a
new text. Glancing down at my phone, I see that the message is from Dean. My
heart swells just seeing his name on the screen. Any communication from him is
the high point of my day. This latest text message from him is short and sweet.

Dean: I
’ve got a surprise for you…

Before I can even wonder at what he might mean, Allison
swings the front door open and stops dead in her tracks. Still looking down at
my phone, I walk right into her, my big belly bouncing me backwards.

“What the hell, dude?” I ask her, regaining my balance.

But Allison doesn’t say a word. She just stares out onto the
front steps, paralyzed. It isn’t until I follow her gaze that I feel my blood
freeze with cold panic. Standing at our front door are Dean and Buck, looking
excited as hell to be surprising me. But as I stand there, helpless, Dean’s
eyes dart down to the unmistakable bulge beneath my tee shirt. When his eyes
raise up to mine once more, it’s as though he’s looking at a complete stranger.
And as much as it’s hurt to be away from him, to be going through this
pregnancy on my own, that one look hurts more than the last six months
combined.

Dean

I look around Allison’s tiny Boston apartment, which she and
Buck have vacated to let Jessa and I have a “talk”. But now that we’re alone, I
can’t think of a single thing to say to her. I can’t even bring myself to look
her fully in the face.

“How did you even find me?” I hear her ask in an impossibly
small voice.

“I told your mom I wanted to send you a Christmas card,” I
say, forcing myself to look at her once more. My eyes go straight to her
pregnant belly, but even as I’m staring at it I can’t wrap my head around the
fact that this is really happening.

“You shouldn’t have come,” she says, sinking down onto the
couch.

“I shouldn’t have…?” I repeat, incredulously. “Well, I’m
pretty fucking glad I did. Otherwise I may never have known that you were
pregnant.”

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, Dean,” she says, clasping
her hands in her lap, “It’s just… I couldn’t…”

“Of course you could have,” I shoot back, “Jesus, I think I
had a right to know that I have a kid on the way! What, you didn’t think you
could trust me with this, or—?”

“It’s not that,” she cuts me off, taking a deep, rattling
breath.

“Then what the hell is it, Jessa?” I demand, trying and
failing to keep my voice down. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She looks me square in the eye, misery and dread wracking
her expression.

“I didn’t tell you because it’s not your problem,” she says,
slowly and clearly.

“What the hell is that supposed that mean?” I growl, my
hands clenched at my sides.

“There was another guy,” she goes on, lifting her chin,
“Back in Spain. I was sleeping with him right up until I left. Right up until I
got back to Rayburn and met you for the first time. It’s his baby, not yours.”

My anger evaporates into numbness as I stare across the room
at her.

“When did you find out?” I ask, my voice hollow.

“Early December,” she shrugs, “When my second trimester
started. I didn’t start showing until then, so—”

“How did you not notice before then?” I demand, “How could
you not know that the whole time we were together, you were already pregnant
with someone else’s kid?”

“I guess I was just distracted by everything that was going
on,” she says softly, “With school, and my work… And you. I just didn’t
realize, Dean. I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Tell me why you kept it a secret,” I say, taking a step
toward her, “Jessa, you could have told me this was going on. You didn’t need
to run off to Boston and hide away. I could have helped you.”

“I wasn’t just hiding from you,” she shoots back, “I was
hiding from my crazy father. I was hiding from being talked about and made fun
of by the entire school. And yeah, sure, I chose to keep it a secret from you.
But you know what, Dean? I was well within my rights to do that. I’d only known
you for a few months when I figured out that I was pregnant. We were still
practically strangers.”

“That’s bullshit,” I mutter, my voice low and ragged, “You
know me better than anyone ever has.”

“Well,” she whispers, “I guess that’s a one way street.
Because you clearly didn’t know me well enough to know you couldn’t trust me.”