Beauty Chorus, The (35 page)

37

‘Are you feeling any better?’ Evie stuck her head around Stella’s bedroom door. In the half light, Stella lay huddled under her blankets.

‘No,’ she said hoarsely.

Evie put a tray with a bowl of soup and a little vase of sweet peas on her bedside table. ‘You must eat something eventually. The soup’s fresh, Meggie picked the peas last night. Do
have a little, you look washed out, darling.’

‘I just want to die,’ she said, her voice muffled by her pillow. Stella forced herself to look up at Evie. ‘Why are you home? Is it lunchtime?’

‘Yes, I had a half hour between flights so I thought I’d pop back and see how you are. Some of the girls were ferrying Spits this morning. It will be our turn soon –
that’s something to look forward to.’ Evie sat down on the bed beside her. ‘Do you want to talk about it? It was very brave of you to do your flight yesterday after that. You must
be shattered.’

‘I’ve been such a fool. Poor Mike, his face … He was so angry with me he just stormed off.’ She began to cry again.

‘Why didn’t you tell us Richard was still alive?’

‘He’s dead as far as I’m concerned,’ she said, her voice breaking. ‘It was easier to pretend. But …’ She took a deep breath. ‘When I got to know you all better, when we became friends …’ She looked at Evie, her eyes full of tears. ‘I wanted to tell you the truth but it was too late. When you lost Jack,
and I saw you grieving, I felt like such a fraud.’

‘Shh.’ Evie stroked her hair. ‘It doesn’t matter. We all knew something was wrong. Why didn’t you tell us?’

‘How could I? Tell you that I’d lied to your faces, tell you that Richard was still alive.’ Her heart twisted with pain. ‘Our marriage died a long time ago. It died the
day he started having an affair.’

‘Affair? Oh God, Stella, you poor thing. Who was she?’

‘The daughter of our housekeeper, if you can believe it.’ Stella laughed bitterly. ‘She can only have been sixteen, if that. All the time I was in bed, ill with my pregnancy,
he was having it off with some slip of a girl.’ She wiped away an angry tear. ‘It wasn’t so easy for him once I had the baby. But he’d still sneak out when he thought I was
asleep.’ Stella closed her eyes, tried to stop the angry tears from falling. ‘I saw him one night, when I was feeding David.’ She remembered the warm tropical night breeze on her
skin, the light muslin of the nursery curtain as she brushed it aside. She saw him striding silently across the white tiled courtyard to the servants’ quarters. The girl was waiting for him
at the door, pulled him silently into the dark shadows. ‘Can you imagine how the servants must have laughed at the stupid white woman, too blind to see that her husband was going from her bed
straight to that little whore’s.’

‘You poor thing. Couldn’t you have gone back to your mother’s?’

‘What and give her the satisfaction? No,’ she shook her head. ‘She was hardly sympathetic, and when I heard the ATA were recruiting women I applied straight away. As soon as I
got the letter I booked a passage for me and David. I told Richard if he tried to stop me he’d never see his child again.’ She sat up in bed, pulled her knees up to her chest. ‘He
wouldn’t give me a divorce, but I’ll get one, just as soon as the war’s over. He made me promise to take David to his parents so that he would be safe at least.’

‘Do you think you can trust them? They wouldn’t try and take the baby?’

‘No, they know what happened. When I confronted him, Richard said it meant nothing – he said all the men he knew were having it off with local girls. But my parents-in-law are decent
people – I think they’re thoroughly ashamed of how Richard has behaved. They’re still hoping we’ll get back together again after the war.’

‘Will you?’

Stella hesitated. The anger and hurt she had carried inside her for months wavered. ‘No,’ she said firmly. ‘I loved Richard very, very much, but he betrayed me when I needed
him most. I’ll never forgive him for that.’

‘What about Mike?’ Evie stroked her hair. ‘Do you think he’ll forgive you?’

Stella hung her head. ‘Why should he? I’m a liar at best, and soon to be a divorcee. No vicar would marry a divorcee.’

‘He asked you to marry him?’

Stella shook her head. ‘He talked about a future together,’ she said. ‘He told me he’s in love with me. But that was before he knew I am still married.’ She screwed
up her eyes, bunched her fists against them. ‘It’s all such a horrible, horrible mess.’

‘Could I talk to him for you? I’m sure once he knew the whole story …’

Stella shook her head. ‘No, I have to sort this out for myself.’ She hesitated. ‘Mike said something. He thinks perhaps, well, I’ve been a little down since having David.
He thinks I should see a doctor. What do you think?’

‘I wouldn’t go to Doc Barbour.’ Evie instinctively folded her arms.

‘He’d have me in my birthday suit again just to take my temperature,’ Stella laughed through her tears.

Evie thought for a moment. ‘I’ll give Mary a call. I know she saw a super chap in Maidenhead after Charles was killed. He was very kind and I think he helped her a great
deal.’

‘Would you?’

They heard the sound of frantic knocking at the front door.

‘Who on earth can that be?’ Evie ran downstairs and flung the door open.

‘Sorry, Miss,’ Archie panted. ‘Ops Room sent me to fetch you both. Parker said unless Mrs Grainger is on her death bed she has to fly. There’s an emergency P1 job on
– a load of planes are coming in from the factories and they’re reassigning some of the flights. They need everyone.’

‘Thank you. I’ll see what I can do.’ Evie thought quickly as Archie kick-started his motorbike and shot off up the lane. She ran upstairs to Stella, who was already dragging
herself out of bed.

‘Did you hear all that?’

‘Yes. Oh God, I can’t possibly fly like this. Can’t you tell them I’m “femininely unwell”? That’s usually enough to put the wind up Teddy.’

‘It’s a Priority 1, he won’t be happy. I’d do it for you but my chit is full this afternoon.’ She glanced at her watch. ‘In fact I need to get back to the
base. Where’s Megan? Is she in town?’

‘No, she’s up at the farm.’

‘Maybe she’ll do it? I’ll stop and pick her up.’ Evie kissed Stella quickly. ‘Get some rest. We’ll sort all this out, don’t worry.’

Evie raced downstairs. Outside, she yanked the covers off her car and threw them to the ground. The Aston started first time, and she roared up the lane. It was sweltering. The steering wheel
was hot to her touch and heat seeped from the leather seat through the thin cotton of her shirt. She had been saving her petrol rations for a trip to London, but this was an emergency.

38

The lamb suckled hungrily at its bottle as Megan held it in her arms, its bony legs flailing.

‘Steady on.’ She laughed, settling down on a hay bale. The lamb wriggled urgently as it lay in her lap, and she stroked its soft, springy fleece. ‘There’s no
hurry.’ She rested her head back against an old wooden beam and closed her eyes, inhaling the sweet scent of the animals and the hay. In the distance she could hear the sound of the tractor
coming in from the fields, the farmer heading home for lunch. Coming to the farm was a comfort to her. It reminded her of where she belonged. Here, she didn’t have to worry all the time that
she wasn’t good enough. She wished she could see her parents, feel the comforting embrace of her mother. The lamb tossed his head impatiently. Megan glanced down. ‘You finished that
quickly,’ she said, and put the glass bottle down.

‘Fancy a bite of lunch, Megan?’ the farmer asked, poking his head into the barn.

‘Thanks, I’ll be along in a minute.’

‘You’re doing a grand job with that little chap,’ he said. ‘Didn’t think he’d make it when his mother went.’

Megan shifted the lamb under the crook of her arm and carried him over to the little pen she had made in the corner of the barn. She let him down gently into the bed of hay and he gambolled in,
tossed his head and bleated. ‘Now, you be good,’ she said. ‘I’ll see you later.’

As she walked across the yard with the farmer, a car swung into view.

‘Meggie!’ Evie called. ‘Come quickly! They need us at the airfield – there’s a bunch of P1s coming in. Stella can’t do it.’

Megan groaned. ‘Evie, I flew all day yesterday and that ruddy night-train …’ She took a deep breath. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll do it for her.’

‘Good girl!’

As Evie sped along the lanes she glanced over at Megan. ‘You do look tired. If we make it back to base tonight, do you fancy going out for a drink later? A few of the
girls are going up to the Riviera and I could do with a dance. I should think it would do you good to get out after all that drama with Peter and Bill.’

‘That would be nice.’ Megan gazed out across the golden summer fields as they whizzed past. ‘How’s Stella? I can’t believe she lied about her husband.’

‘She had her reasons,’ Evie said. ‘I’m sure she’ll tell you about it.’

‘What a glorious day. It’s such a shame we haven’t had a chance to swim in the river yet. Well, of course, some of us have! I wish I’d seen you, Evie. Joy said you looked
like a mermaid!’ Megan giggled as Evie poked out her tongue. ‘We could take a picnic. Maybe we could hire a boat for the day?’

‘That would be fun. I don’t know where the time is going these days, we’re so busy.’ Evie turned the car into Cherry Orchard Lane. ‘Talking of which, you’re
late aren’t you? We’re always exactly the same time, you and me …’

Megan blushed. ‘Late? You mean my monthly … Oh, I’m fine.’ As the weeks had come and gone she had frantically checked the calendar. ‘I was just a bit late. I
wasn’t worried.’

Evie pulled up outside the offices. Pilots were streaming through the office doors. ‘So you did it?’ Evie said, her eyes wide. ‘Peter?’

Megan shook her head. ‘Bill.’ She blushed. ‘I did wonder … I even wrote to Ma, but it’s fine.’ She stared at her hands. ‘Part of me even hoped I was
pregnant. I love him, Evie. When this is all over, I just want to go home and run the farm with him. When I thought I might be having his baby … It made me realise what I really
want.’

‘Well,’ Evie said as she jumped out of the car, ‘at least that’s one less thing to worry about at the moment.’ She hugged Megan. ‘I’m happy for you.
Peter will be disappointed of course.’

‘Could you tell him for me? I haven’t had the heart to call him. Tell him I think he’s wonderful, but—’

‘You’re in love, and you’re going home?’

‘Not straight away. I mean, I hope Bill and I will get married soon, but everything we’re doing here matters so much.’

‘I do envy you, you know.’ Evie took her arm as they walked to the offices.

‘You? You envy me?’ Megan laughed.

‘Well, you’re so lucky. You know where you want to be, and the way you talk about your family, and Bill ...’ Evie smiled at her. ‘I envy you your certainty. Sometimes I
wonder if I’ll ever find a place that feels like home.’ She raised her voice above the hubbub as they reached the offices. Pilots were racing out onto the field, grabbing their chits
from the corridor on the way.

‘Right,’ Teddy shouted above the noise. ‘Our boys need a fresh lot of Hurricanes and Spits at their squadrons. There’s a big P1 delivery coming in from the factories
through the other pools, so we need to clear today’s planes. Half of you will be ferrying the factory planes on to their squadrons. The rest of you I need to clear the field on the
double.’

The girls changed quickly in the cloakroom, and Megan pulled on her Sidcot suit. ‘Do you think it matters that I’m in mufti?’ she asked Evie.

‘No, you’ll be fine. Here, you can borrow one of my shirts and a tie. As long as you keep your suit fastened they won’t know you’ve got muddy old dungarees on
underneath.’

Megan tugged the zip closed. ‘Right, let’s go and see what we’re dicing with.’ She followed Evie out to the busy corridor. As she slung her flight bag onto her shoulder,
her ferry notes dropped to the floor unnoticed.

Evie checked her chit. ‘Mine’s stayed the same. I’ve got a Harvard to Aston Down. Ruddy noisy things.’

Megan picked up Stella’s chit and read it quickly. ‘Oh! My first fighter. A P40 Tomahawk I.’ Her face fell. ‘It’s an NEA on the way to the scrapyard. I hate those
NEAs,’ she said. ‘Why they don’t just tow them to the yard I don’t know. They reckon there’s one more flight left in them but I’ve heard of girls having canopies
blow off, floors drop out …’

‘You’ll be fine. It’s no more of a hot potato than any of the planes we fly. I wonder what’s wrong with it? I heard No. 112 Squadron were taking all the Tomahawks they
could get their hands on.’ She glanced at Megan. ‘Come here a sec.’ Evie brushed a speck of dirt from Megan’s face. ‘There are some advantages to farm work –
free mudpacks.’

‘Oh, get on with you.’ Megan giggled and hoisted her parachute over her shoulder.

Evie read Stella’s chit. ‘You’ve not flown a Tomahawk before? Frightful things. Don’t forget about the French throttle.’

‘Thanks. I haven’t got time to read the handling notes, but don’t worry I’ll figure it out.’

As soon as they had finished checking with the Meteorological Office, the Ops Room called the numbers of several planes over the tannoy, including Megan’s Tomahawk. The girls walked out
into the sunshine.

‘I’ve got to go. Will you let Teddy know it’s me not Stella?’

‘Sure.’

Megan grimaced. ‘Eugh, look at it.’ The Tomahawk’s fuselage was painted with a gaping shark’s mouth. ‘Well, they’ll certainly see me coming.’

‘See you tonight,’ Evie called.

‘Cheerio!’ Megan waved as she walked across the airfield to the waiting plane.

Evie leant against her car and lit a cigarette as she waited for her Harvard to be called. There was something about the way Megan walked, a slight skip and spring to her step that always made
her seem like a little girl.

‘You’re still here, Miss Chase? Run along now.’ Teddy shooed her towards the field.

‘I was waiting to give you a message, sir.’ Evie turned towards him. ‘Mrs Grainger is femininely unwell.’ Teddy’s face went grey as he looked at the Tomahawk. She
loved the reaction that choice phrase caused.