Beauty Is a Wound (59 page)

“He wasn’t even married at that time, and I would not let him die before he married one of your children. Ha. Ha. Ha.”

He wasn’t even married at that time, and I would not let him die before he married one of your children. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Not long after Shodancho’s death, with her conviction undeterred, Dewi Ayu had finally summoned the evil spirit with the help of that
jailangkung
kid Kinkin. And now the evil spirit stood in front of her, laughing uncontrollably, showing his bottomless and malicious joy.

“This is the evil spirit who time and time again prevented me from finding out who killed Rengganis the Beautiful,” said Kinkin.

“Yes, I even separated
you
from the one
you
loved. Ha. Ha. Ha.”

Yes, I even separated
you
from the one
you
loved. Ha. Ha. Ha
.

When she had learned, from the whispering winds and the howls of the
ajak
deep in the jungle, that at Alamanda’s request Comrade Kliwon had not been executed, Dewi Ayu believed that love still might be able to vanquish the vengeful curse of her husband’s ghost, but she wasn’t sure. For almost her entire adult life she had been thinking about this, thinking about how to save her daughters and guard their happiness, keep them free from the resentful curse of the evil ghost who would be her companion and her adversary for the rest of her life and beyond. So when her children married their husbands, she chased those couples away and told them never to return to her home. She didn’t chase away Maman Gendeng and Maya Dewi, but instead chose to move herself to a new house. She wanted to distance her children from the ghost, even though she hadn’t yet realized that he would exact such an evil revenge.

Her concerns again surfaced when, about ten years after her last daughter was married, Dewi Ayu got pregnant. Now, she was growing fresh prey inside her womb for the evil spirit. Dewi Ayu had to save the child, however she could. She tried to abort her baby in a number of different ways, so that it would never have to be born into this world, and would be free from all curses, from all revenge. But that child was so strong Dewi Ayu couldn’t kill it, and the baby kept growing in her womb. If it was a girl, she would be as beautiful as her older sisters, and if it was a boy, it would be the most handsome man on the face of the earth. A creature like that would be showered with love, and would have a lot of love to give, but all the while Dewi Ayu still felt the evil spirit lurking, waiting to target that love. He would destroy it, however possible, just as Ted Stammler had destroyed his love with Ma Iyang.

So she said to Rosinah, “I’m bored of having beautiful children.”

“If that’s how you feel, pray for an ugly baby.”

She had to give thanks to that mute woman, because her prayers were answered and for the first time she had an ugly daughter, uglier than any woman you would ever meet, even though ironically she was named Beauty. With a face and body like that, no one would ever love her, neither man nor woman. She would be free from the curse of the evil spirit. She had to give thanks to Rosinah.

“But now she’s pregnant!” bellowed the evil spirit. “Doesn’t that prove that someone loved her?”

But now she’s pregnant! Doesn’t that prove that someone loved her?

The evil spirit was right.

“But you have not yet killed him.”

“I haven’t killed him yet.”

I haven’t killed him yet.

One night, when she once again heard a strange commotion, like the grunting and groaning of people making love, Dewi Ayu finally broke down the bedroom door with a mighty heave of an axe. She was disappointed, to say the least, to discover that someone was making love to that ugly Beauty. Somebody loved her, and that was exactly what Dewi Ayu hadn’t wanted since before the girl had even been born. Overcome with resentment, she wanted to know what kind of stupid man would love a girl like that. But she didn’t see anyone in the bedroom except Beauty, who had been startled and was huddling stark naked in a corner of the room.

“Who were you making love to?!” Dewi Ayu demanded in anger, disappointment, and panic.

“I’ll never tell. He is my prince.”

But Dewi Ayu saw something, little more than a blur, moving as if coming down off the bed. Then as she walked around toward the bedside table, she could barely make out some footsteps on the floor, a little damp as if from sweat, faint under the light of the bedroom lamp. The invisible figure parted the curtain in quite a hurry, opened the window, and of course then he jumped out. At that time Dewi Ayu thought the ghost had come to make love to Beauty, although she couldn’t guess why.

“No, it wasn’t me,” said the evil spirit, offended.

No, it wasn’t me
.

“You prevented me from seeing who it was.”

“That’s true. Ha. Ha. Ha.”

That’s true. Ha. Ha. Ha
.

It’s as if his revenge had been carried out perfectly, almost without a hitch, and his curse continued to destroy whatever what was left of her family. Alamanda had lost Shodancho, and despite the fact that she had never really loved him all that much, and actually mostly hated him, there had still been a few moments when she did sincerely care for him. And after losing her first two children, she had lost Nurul Aini the third, Ai, who died at such an early age. And Maya Dewi had lost Rengganis the Beautiful even more tragically: someone had killed her and threw her into the ocean, and no one knew who. Then her husband vanished through
moksa
, after having seen almost all his friends slaughtered. Dewi Ayu’s second child, Adinda, had seen her husband, Comrade Kliwon, dead after hanging himself in his bedroom. But she still had Krisan. And it turned out that Beauty had a lover. Dewi Ayu had to save whoever was left from that evil spirit. She would not let Krisan be taken from Adinda, nor let Beauty’s lover be taken from her, whoever he was. Dewi Ayu would stake anything to fight the evil spirit before her.

“I must stop you,” she said then.

“From what?” asked the evil spirit.

From what?

“From destroying my family.”

“Ha. Ha. Ha. Your family’s ruin was fated long ago. Nothing can stop my revenge now.”

Ha. Ha. Ha. Your family’s ruin was fated long ago. Nothing can stop my revenge now.

“You were unable to tear Henri and Aneu Stammler apart,” said Dewi Ayu.

“Because one of them is the flesh and blood of my beloved.”

Because one of them is the flesh and blood of my beloved.

“And I’m Ma Iyang’s granddaughter.”

“That’s already too far removed.”

That’s already too far removed
.

Dewi Ayu slowly slid a dagger out from the pocket of the gown she was wearing. The blade was the kind used by soldiers, shining and sturdy. “I found it in Shodancho’s room,” she announced. Kinkin watched in horror (an angry woman holding a dagger!) but the evil spirit only smiled in disdain. “I am going to kill you with this blade.”

“Ha. Ha. Ha. No human being can kill me,” said the evil spirit.

Ha. Ha. Ha. No human being can kill me
.

“Might I at least try?” asked Dewi Ayu.

“Go ahead, be my guest.”

Go ahead, be my guest
.

Dewi Ayu approached as the evil spirit smiled a way more disgusting, contemptuous, and self-assured smile. Kinkin, unable to bear being a witness to the murder, hid his face. After glaring at the evil spirit for a few seconds as he glared back, Dewi Ayu, with all the power of a woman carrying a profound rage, maybe in the end with a power and force as strong as that of an evil spirit, stabbed her ex-husband with all her might. Blood spurted out, and she stabbed him again, and blood spurted out again, and she stabbed him again, five stabs with a strength that grew from one stab to the next.

The evil spirit collapsed on the floor, moaning and holding his chest.

“How is it possible,” he said, “That you were able to kill me?”

How is it possible that you were able to kill me?

“I died when I was fifty-two years old, from the strength of my own will, in the hopes that I could someday resist and contain the strength of your evil soul,” said Dewi Ayu. “And today I have come. Do you believe that a mere human could rise from the grave after being dead for twenty-one years? I am no longer human, and so I can kill you.”

“You may have succeeded in killing me, but my curse will live on.”

You may have succeeded in killing me, but my curse will live on
.

Then that evil spirit died, turning into a dense cloud of black smoke and disappearing, swallowed up by the atmosphere. Dewi Ayu looked at the kid Kinkin.

“My duty is done, and now I will return to the world of the dead,” she said. “Goodbye, child. Thank you for all your help.”

Then she vanished too, changing into a beautiful butterfly who flew away through the open window and disappeared into the yard.

The man often appeared out of the blue, but because it happened so often, Beauty was no longer surprised by his presence. He had been showing up like that ever since she was young, inviting her to talk. Rosinah was often by her side, but Rosinah could never see him, even though Beauty could. Rosinah never heard the man’s voice either, even though Beauty could hear it. She learned how to speak from that man. He was old, so old his eyebrows were already all white. His dark skin had been burned by the sun, and he had lean muscles that had been forged from years of hard work. She learned everything she knew from him. When Rosinah had tried to enroll her in school and the principal didn’t want to accept her, and she herself didn’t even want to go to school, the man had said:

“I will teach you to write, even though I never learned how to write.”

I will teach you to write, even though I never learned how to write
.

He continued:

“And I will teach you to read, even though I never learned how to read.”

And I will teach you to read, even though I never learned how to read
.

She had everything she wanted, it seemed, and never needed anything else because she was so happy to be friends with him. Other people didn’t want to associate with her, because she was ugly. But that man was friends with her and didn’t care that she was hideous. Other people didn’t even want to cross her path, but he spent time with her. They often played together, and Rosinah was frequently startled by the little girl’s joyful outbursts that seemed to come suddenly and without apparent reason.

Little Beauty was so happy to be able to read and write. She found all the books that her mother had left behind, and read almost all of them with an overflowing joy, copying over parts of them in her efforts to learn to write and finding a similar delight. But Rosinah looked at her with a gaze full of confusion.

“It’s like an angel is teaching you,” Rosinah wrote to Beauty.

“Yes, an angel
is
teaching me.”

The angel didn’t necessarily come every single day, but Beauty was sure he would always come at certain times, whenever he felt like it, to teach her something. She didn’t need any other friends, who didn’t want her because she was ugly. She didn’t need to leave her house to play, because she could play inside the house. She didn’t want to bother anyone by showing her disgusting self, so she was never bothered by anyone showing up to see her. It was the house that made her happy and content, because a kind angel lived there and had become her dear companion.

“I can even teach you how to cook, even though I never learned how to cook.”

I can even teach you how to cook, even though I never learned how to cook
.