Because of Lucy (5 page)

“I have to go,” he says hoarsely, “But I wanted to do that first. I hope you don’t mind.”

He grabs his phone from the table and shoves it into his back pocket. Sinking back into the sofa, I watch him walk out the door. My brain has dissolved into a pool of lust and my body a shaking mess of arousal. I cover my face in a mixture of embarrassment and confusion.

What the hell just happened?

Chapter 9

EVAN

The cafeteria in the Halls serves up the best breakfasts - full English, practically half a pig per plate. I’m not normally awake in time and don’t indulge in eating breakfast here, and not platefuls like the one in front of me now. I’m surprised how busy the place is, the voices and banging of trays on tables grates on my nerves. Matt pushes through the double doors and crosses the linoleum floor, weaving his large frame between chairs.

He’s wearing the same clothes as last night, eyes tired. “What you doing here?” he asks.

“Could ask you the same - thought you were with Abby last night?”

Matt scrapes a chair across the tiled floor and sits opposite me. “I left early. Things are getting too cozy, I don’t want her to think I’m ‘the one’ or whatever the chicks call it.”

“Think you might’ve missed the boat there.” I fold my bacon into bread and take a bite. “From what I’ve seen, I’d say she already thinks you’re the one.”

“Should take a leaf out of your book. Keep things simple.” He grins. “So, did yo
u
d
o
her?”

The word doesn’t sound right when associated with Vanessa. Ness. Cheapens her somehow. Weird. I don’t care about the word usually. Her opinions must be rubbing off on me. “No. Something interrupted me.”

“I never heard anyone else come over last night? Mind you, I was busy…”

I lift a palm up. “Don’t want to hear it, Matt.”

“So…what interrupted you?”

“She’s calling me again,” I say flatly.

“Who?”

“Lucy.”

Someone bumps the back of my chair on the way past and I have to stop myself from turning and yelling at them. Matt rubs his eyes.

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah, oh shit.”

“What does she want?”

“I haven’t answered.” The phone remains in my room, switched off. But it can’t stay off forever. “The same as usual, I suppose.”

Matt takes a piece of toast from my plate. “It’s not your crap to deal with, dude.”

“Somehow, it is. It always will be.”

“Does she know where you are?”

“I don’t know, depends on if someone’s told her. She wasn’t around when I left, was she?”

The voices and trays clatter around us, filling the void where the conversation stops. Silences are never awkward with Matt, but I can tell by his fingers tapping on the table he’s uncomfortable.

“I don’t know what to say, man,” he says finally.

My mind drifts back to Ness and the night before, the urgent kiss before I left. I could’ve torn all her clothes off there and then, dragged her straight to bed. Emptied my mind of everything but Ness’s body against mine. I should’ve lived in the present and not the past. Instead, I picked up the past and took it home with me. Lucy needs to stay away; she doesn’t belong in my new life.

****

EVAN

The cloud called Lucy hangs over me, graying my world, and I’m waiting for the thunderstorm to sweep in and drown me. It’s only a matter of time. I hide in my room for most of the following day, refusing to switch my phone back on. Using the pay phone, I make some phone calls of my own. No-one can enlighten me to where Lucy is, or what she’s doing and the cloud above me grows.

Crap
.
If she’s looking for me, who knows where she is.

When I get the courage to switch my phone on, I find fifty missed calls along with half a dozen increasingly hysterical messages. As soon as I hear that it’s Lucy, I delete each one. I’ve done enough for her. I can’t keep doing what she needs.

My next move is pretty stupid - I spend most of the next two days drunk. Not even happy drunk but ending the evenings slumped in a corner and not in the arms of a girl. Even fueled by alcohol I can’t push Lucy out of my mind, the intoxication does the opposite, weakens my resolve. What if she really needs me and I’m letting her down? I came very close to returning her calls but never did.

And then there’s Ness. I’m not sure what to do, whether to contact her. Things would be uncomfortable, not because of the kiss and my missed opportunity, but because Matt is avoiding Abby. Plus, Ness asks questions, tries to talk to me about my life and I could do without uncomfortable questions until Lucy’s off the horizon again. Maybe I’ll call Ness when things calm down.

****

My next attempt to feel better is more logical. I hit the gym and hard. Gradually, the frustration of the last few days recedes and life clicks back to normal. Almost. A few days later and I walk out, after finishing training, to find Abby hovering in the entrance. Wiping my face with the towel, I go over.

Abby straightens, moves towards me too. “Do you know where Matt is?”

She’s fiddling with the zip on her bag and her eyes are wide, searching my face for an answer I can’t give her.

“Haven’t seen him today.”

“Really?” Her mouth pulls into a thin line

“Yes, really.”

Dealing with girls I’ve pissed off is bad enough, but other people’s? Thanks Matt.

“Is he avoiding me?” Her voice rises an octave.

“How should I know?” I need to go, get in the shower. I’m still paranoid Lucy might be looking for me and don’t want to hang around.

“Are you avoiding Ness?”

I frown at her. “That’s a bit left field.”

“She thinks you are. She hasn’t said what happened, but I can tell something did.”

I recall Matt’s words about becoming a fixture in a girl’s life. Why do some chicks go way over the top when nothing happened? Me and Ness barely even kissed, this is bullshit. I can’t think of anything to say, which won’t be passed back to Ness, so I shake my head and walk away.

My luck’s run out. Ness sits on the low wall outside the gym. I pause, unsure what to do. She’s seen me so I can’t bolt without looking as if I’m avoiding her; which I now am.

****

NESS

Evan stops outside the door to the gym and meets my eyes. The unpleasant moment when the unsaid hangs between two people hits us. Sweat glistens on his forearms and his T-shirt is soaked through, accentuating the broad chest he pressed to me a couple of days ago. My body fires to life at the sight of him; he looks like he’s stepped from the pages of a male model calendar. Or those pictures my friends are forever linking on Facebook. No, he’d have to be shirtless for that. An image of the shirtless Evan pops into my head and I want to smack myself. I’m convinced he’s going to walk in the opposite direction, towards the trees where his eyes have shifted. But no. My heart rate spikes as he walks over
.
Get a gri
p
.

“Ness…” He crosses his arms over his chest, looking at me uncertainly. “I didn’t expect to find you on campus.”

“I’m keeping an eye on Abby.”

The look he gives me holds disbelief. Surely he doesn’t think I’m here because of him.

“I’m not stalking you,” I say to him, “I’m with Abby.”

Abby did a pretty good stalking job though. Unable to contact Matt, she set about finding Evan. Her ingenuity astounds me; her motivation worries me.

“Yeah, she found me.”

“Lucky you,” I say, smiling

“Why is she asking me about Matt? I don’t know what to say to her.” He sets his bag on the wall next to me.

“Why? Is he avoiding her?”

Evan rubs his nose. “Maybe. Probably. I’ll get him to call her.”

My heart sinks for Abby. Over the last couple of days, I’ve tried telling her she’s a month into her life at university and the likelihood of finding a lasting relationship is slim. God knows why she wants to get involved with someone. But Abby falls hard, each time a guy enters her world. Clings on without realizing guys don’t like girls who do. I knew Matt was the kind of guy who wouldn’t be permanent, but I gave up telling her these things years ago.

“Abby’s upset. It’s pretty rude of him not to return her calls. He should man up and tell her if he doesn’t want to see her and stop ignoring her.”

Evan frowns at me. “Abby told me that you think I’m ignoring you.”

What the hell
?
“I never said that! Why would I say that?”

“I thought it sounded strange.”

And that’s all he has to say. The kiss isn’t going to get a mention, obviously.

“Where is she now?” I look behind him towards the door. “I have a shift this afternoon and need to go. So if she needs consoling she’d better get over here.”

“Won’t keep you then.” He smiles and his eyes brighten for the first time since our conversation began. Was he worried I’d lay into him about our encounter?

“Did you sort it out?” I ask.

“What?”

“The problem the other night. The phone calls that sent you running.”

The brightness leaves his eyes. “Yeah.”

He’s lying. I want him to acknowledge he kissed me. But more than the acknowledgement, I want him to ask me to see him again. I mentally kick myself, I’m as bad as Abby. I should be grateful of a lucky escape, because my hormones were sending me straight to bed with him.

Evan doesn’t elaborate, the evening forgotten. Of course, what’s a kiss to Evan anyway?

“Cool. Well. See you around I guess. If Matt’s out of the picture, I guess the whole lot of you will be keeping away from the house too,” I say more cheerfully than I feel.

“Yeah, no more strange men in your bed.”

“Or dodgy guys quoting poetry at me when I’m trying to go to sleep.”

We both smile and something tears inside me. I like talking to him; he’s smart and intriguing. And I want to do more than kiss him. In my head, I jump back to the memory of his mouth on mine, and the incredible physical sensation that poured into me from his lips. I know I’d be one in a long line, but if his kissing is anything to go by, sex with Evan would be incredible.

And now I’m disgusted with myself.

We part and I hurry off to find Abby.

Chapter 10

NESS

The quiet evenings - and uninterrupted sleep - improve my ability to cope with the mundanity of work. Although, Abby’s moroseness takes the edge off the feel-good. She hasn’t been out since she got The Call from Matt two weeks ago. I switched into broken heart nursing mode, piling the fridge and cupboards with her favorite comfort food and nodding sympathetically through the repetitive angst. Trying not to sound too much like a mother, I cajole her into returning to lessons. The quicker I can get Abby hooked up with another guy, the better.

Work today involves more sales training. Intensive, mind-numbing parroting of everything I learnt a couple of months ago. The irritating sly smiles and sniggers, from the group of girls who’ve pigeonholed me into posh bitch, push me to the verge of a confrontation.

Regret over my decision to work here follows me to the battery farm everyday, and this kind of crap doesn’t help.

After my stomping around upstairs, swearing, Abby appears and decides dressing up and a night out is what we both need. She thinks I could do with a bit of male attention, and part of me agrees. Three months since I broke things off with Josh and I’m missing him. If I’m honest, I miss the physical side of our relationship more, and someone finding me desirable.

Abby insists on playing dress ups with me and I cave to her whim. She gleefully arrives in my room with her bulging tote of cosmetics and a selection of dresses.

About an hour later, she pushes me in front of the mirror. “There!”

The short black dress barely reaches my knees and hugs my small figure a little too tightly for my comfort. I pull a face when I look at the heels she gave me. Sure they make my legs longer and sexier, but falling flat on my face won’t be a sexy move. I remove them and put on flats; Abby pulls a face.

“Do you want me to change the dress as well?” I threaten.

“No! Don’t you dare!”

For once, Abby’s handiwork on my face gives me a natural look, the eye makeup accentuates the green of my eyes, rather than the panda eyes she favors. I turn and pout at her, she leans in and takes a shot of us on her phone. I’ve agreed to go to the Union with her. Not because I might see Evan. Okay, I’m lying.

As I walk arm in arm with Abby, a doubt nags at me. We’re getting on so much better without her boyfriend and his posse. Do I really want to help find Abby a new one?

****

EVAN

Two weeks, and Lucy hasn’t called or appeared. I relax and resume my routine. Hopefully someone intervened before she had a chance to find me.

Ness crosses my mind occasionally, something about her sticks with me. Apart from wanting to get her naked. I’m pissed off I only got as far as kissing her, and I can blame Lucy for that too. The spark of a different type of connection between me and Ness stays, a shared desire to run away from childhood bonds. Our lives are miles apart, yet for the first time in a long while, she’s a girl I want to get to know. Ness is challenging and clever; interestingly different. And I’d like to understand why she chose the path she has, limiting herself when she’s such a smart girl.

Since Matt isn’t seeing Abby anymore, I know I won’t come across Ness unless I look for her. The sprawling campus deceptively hides the number of students who attend and because Abby isn’t in my department, I’m unlikely to come across her either. Despite my interest in Ness, I’m unsure about finding her and giving the wrong impression. The last thing I need is a full-blown relationship and if you chase a girl, that’s what they think will happen. In my experience. No. It’s better if I try and forget her instead.

So back to my old haunts and habits. Pubs, alcohol and blurry memories of the night before.

Bodies vie for spots at the bar and the air is thick with heat when I arrive at the Union with my drinking buddies. Our pub crawl began a couple of hours ago, the progress predictable - drunk, giggling girls and Matt’s voice already twice as loud as usual. A couple of the girls in our group catch my interest but my reputation precedes me, because I’m not having a lot of luck with them. Oh well. I scan the bar for suitable alternatives.

An altercation takes place at the end of the bar and Matt’s head is in the midst of a group of girls. I sigh. His big mouth and alcohol are a lethal combination. He’s either hitting on someone who isn’t interested, or a past conquest caught up with him.

Abby pushes out of the group, towards me, but stalks straight by
.
Oka
y
. I twist around to watch her go and someone else bumps into me from behind.

“Sorry.”

Ness passes me, following her friend. Neither girl registered me, so I’m either on their avoid list or they didn’t notice. The way Abby pushes through people and slops her drink, I doubt she’s paying any attention.

And Ness.

Holy cra
p
.

Her dress hugs the curves I caught glimpses of in the times we were together. Mentally I kick myself at not getting my hands on her body, because I can now see how goddamn hot she is. Watching her rear as she walks away, a memory of Ness leaning into her car the first morning skips happily into my mind. I search again for the reason I haven’t bothered contacting her.

Lucy’s the reason. Taking up too much space in my life again. Interrupting me. Well, not tonight. Ness is here, I’m here, so it makes sense we should pick up where we left off. To my alcohol-fueled brain the decision makes sense, anyway. I follow and, just in case, I switch off my phone and tuck it away.

I weave in and out of the bodies and finally spot the two friends sitting at a round metal table in a quieter corner, at the opposite end of the Union. Ness rubs her friend’s back, leaning into her face and cajoling the tearful girl. As Ness leans forward, the tops of her breasts push free from the thin material and bunch together. And there it is. Instant hard-on
.
Crap
.
I can’t saunter over like this.

As if she has some kind of sixth sense for guys
perving her, Ness looks up and catches sight of me. I walk over; standing here and staring would be way creepier.

“Where’s your bastard friend?” snaps Abby, “which of those girls is he screwing?”

Woa
h
. “I don’t know.”

Ness shoots me a look. I think I just made one of those ‘men don’t understand women’ mistakes.

“Oh!” Abby shrieks, “so h
e
i
s
screwing one of them.”

Ness pokes her tongue into her cheek as she watches me. Okay, I get what I said wrong now.

“Um,” I glance to Ness for guidance and she imperceptibly shakes her head. “None. I don’t think.”

“What about you? Which one are you screwing?” she continues.

“What?” Ness and I say in unison.

“Well, it’s your fault! He’s only copying you!” She hiccups.

“He’s a big boy, makes his own decisions.”

“Abby, let’s go home.” Ness touches her friend on the shoulder and Abby shrugs her hand off.

“No, I want to watch. See what he’s doing
.
Wh
o
he’s doing.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” says Ness, and I voice my agreement.

“No! We came for a night out! He’s not spoiling it!” She knocks back the contents of the half empty glass. “What do you want? I’ll get them,” she says to Ness.

“I’m okay for a drink. Maybe I should go to the bar…”

“Or I’ll get you one?” I offer. The look on Abby’s face indicates my association with Matt has dragged me into the depths of hell. “Or not.”

Ness covers her mouth and I can see amusement in her eyes. Pushing back her stool, Abby stands and walks to the bar. A different bar to the one Matt is at, thank god.

“Why are you laughing?” I ask Ness.

“The situation.”

I hover, focusing my eyes away from any body part which could earn me a slap if I linger my gaze there. Her eyes meet mine, they’re swimming a little.

She sips her drink. “Are you staying or loitering?”

“I wasn’t sure I’d be welcome.” I pull out the stool opposite her.

“Why? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

No, I never got the chance. “True.”

I set down my drink and sit opposite her. Ness studies each move I make, watching my hands as I take a drink.

“How’s poetry class?” she asks.

“Fine. How’s the battery farm?”

“Painful.”

Funny we should have a greeting, a shared joke. “I didn’t think you came to the Union? Hated being amongst the student masses?”

“I don’t but Abby insisted. She’s not been out since your friend dumped her so I couldn’t say no. She’d probably have locked herself in her bedroom with ice-cream for another two weeks.”

I grin at her Ness view of the world. “Having fun yet?”

“Immense. Nothing brightens an evening like watching your best friend make a drunken embarrassment of herself.”

This girl amuses me, I’ve missed talking to her and wish I’d not avoided her. Hopefully I haven’t blown my chances completely. She was eager enough when we kissed. Ness’s vanilla perfume hangs in the air evoking a memory of holding her, tasting her and the softness of her lips. I’m staring at her mouth again and Ness looks confused.

“You look good tonight,” I say.

Her eyes narrow slightly. “Thank you.”

“You do.” I thought girls liked compliments?

“So, which girl are you screwing?”

Ness and her out of the blue questions. I’m caught off guard. “None. No-one. Recently. And let’s not start playing that broken record again.”

A smile edges onto her face. “I told you before, go the poetry option, if you’re not having any success. Girls love that crap.”

“You’re funny, Ness.”

Ness takes a drink and looks at the table, I can’t figure out what I’ve said wrong. I tip my head trying to catch her eye.

“And you’re strange,” she says, looking directly into my eyes, in the unsettling way she does.

“Strange?”

Ness rubs her lips together, and sips from her glass. Her cheeks are flushed; she’s drunk. “That night. When you ran away. And now you’re sat here talking to me again.”

Oh shi
t
. The kiss.

“I didn’t run away. I had to go.”

“Who called?”

I shake my head, “No-one. It wasn’t important.”

“Not important… But you had to go. Okay. None of my business, I guess.” Ness cranes her neck, searching the crowd for someone or something.

Now I know I’ve said something wrong, and I am aware what this time. I told her she was unimportant. Way to go, Evan.

“Serendipity.” I say to her.

She snorts as she turns back to me. “What’s that? Word of the day?”

“That I saw you tonight. When I’ve been thinking about you.”

Ness sinks back in her seat. “Wow, you use the dictionar
y
an
d
poetry in your seduction techniques.”

“If you stopped behaving as if I was going to try and tear your clothes off at the first opportunity, we might have an actual conversation. Get to know each other.’

“You want to get to know me?”

Ness sits up and tips her head to one side. Her face is flushed but I think that’s the alcohol and not me. I’m not drunk but the few beers in my system are making me admit things I’ve not considered. “I do. Yes.”

The weird something from before hovers in the air again, our barriers wavering.

“Why?” she asks.

“Because you’re different to other girls.”

Ness chokes on her drink. “Are you resorting to clichés now?”

“No.”

Leaning forward she says, “Because I’m a challenge?”

I lean forward in response. “No, because you’re Ness. And I like you and I’m sorry I never got in touch before.”

Our heads almost touch as her eyes search mine, gauging my bullshit meter. “Really?”

“Really.”

Ness sits back, takes a drink and keeps her eyes on me. “I need to look after my pissed friend,” she says.

“Okay, can we meet up? Maybe tomorrow?”

I’m waiting for her reply when Abby returns. “I’ve changed my mind! Let’s go! I don’t want to be in the same city as him!”

Ness shrugs at me as Abby pulls her up. As she leaves, Ness walks backwards and calls out to me. “Shame, I was looking forward to the poetry.” She turns away again.

I’m not the only male gaze on her beautiful, round ass and undoubtedly not the only male in the room wanting to get her out of that dress. Abby and Ness stop briefly to chat to a group and one of the guys touches Ness on the arm. The jealousy hitting me takes me by surprise. My resolve over not chasing Ness is edged out by the discomfort of seeing another guy’s hands on her; I don’t think forgetting about Ness is a possibility anymore. She’s a risk I’m willing to take.