Because the Night (The Night Songs Collection) (11 page)

Chapter Twenty Two

“A package came for you,” Janelle announced without looking up from her computer, oblivious to anything else going on in the room besides that I had entered it. I was so emotionally hung over that I welcomed her cluelessness.

The package was simply stunning and it accentuated every cheap thread on my bedspread. I ran my finger along the embossed gold floral pattern on the wrap, more fabric than paper, while I considered how to best remove the burgundy velvet ribbon and bow without disturbing its intricate beauty. I found a shiny gold envelope tucked under the bow. I carefully opened the flap, also too fancy to ruin with haste, and pulled out the card. It was handwritten in masculine print.

Please forgive me. xx

Tristan knew there was no need to sign his name. A warm flush spread from my cheeks all over my body, thinking about the cool touch of his lips to mine, and then feeling of his teeth sinking through my flesh. I squeezed my eyes shut, not sure if I wanted the image to go away. I sat on my bed with my eyes closed, holding the card, wrestling with my conscience. How did he do this to me? How could he do this to me, on today of all days? My heart felt like it was on one of those rickety old wooden roller coasters without a safety strap. And it was at the very top, headed down into God only knew what.

Pandora’s Box still sat on my bed in all its splendor imploring me to dive inside. Carefully I removed the fabric from the package. I spread it out on the bed, smoothing the crease lines from it. It was too pretty to just be thrown away; I would have to do something with it. The box inside was also shiny and gold. Whatever was inside smelled sweet and wonderful. I lifted the lid carefully, not to rip it. Inside revealed six of the most beautiful strawberries, dipped in dark chocolate, drizzled in white chocolate, and flecked with gold. They were presented on a dark brown plate, just slightly lighter than the chocolate, with slight indents to hold the fruit in place. It was edged with white and gold painted swirls, and a small gold ribbon adorned its corners.

So simple despite its stunning display, it was quite possibly the most beautiful gift anyone had ever given me.

My stomach churned in anticipation from the aroma rising from the plate. I hadn’t had a proper meal since I didn’t even remember when. Yikes. Still, it was almost too pretty to ruin by eating. I felt like Eve being tempted by the serpent.

I picked up a strawberry, finding it heavier than I expected. Delicately, I bit into it not to send any of the ingredients cascading down on my scarf. The sweet citrus juice exploded in my dry mouth, enveloped in the velvety smooth dark chocolate like none I’d ever tasted before. I closed my eyes so I could completely savor each bite.

It was the most delicious thing I’d ever tasted.

When I was left with just the leaves, it seemed obscene to place it back on the plate like garbage. Having any more of the sweet goodness laid on the plate would be overly indulgent. I carefully closed the box and brought it out to the fridge, careful for the box not to touch any of Janelle’s revolting energy drink cans.

I grabbed my phone and made my way out of the apartment and found a bench under a tree. The gentle breeze kissed my skin. After a day like today, I needed as much oxygen as I could possibly get. I was barely sure I was up to making this call.

“Did you like your gift?” Tristan answered on the third ring.

“Very much so.”

“Good. I’m glad I got your attention. I’m not used to this. Usually people are bringing me things wrapped in pretty bows.”

“Well, I’m calling to say thank you.” Keeping my voice flat was easy. I had no more emotion left in me.

“I can think of some ways you can thank me,” I could hear his smile growing in his voice. “How about Thursday?”

“Are you kidding me, Tristan? Do you remember you did to me last time I saw you?”

“It’s all I can think about.” When I couldn’t respond, he continued. “It wasn’t what you thought. Think about what I told you about the blood, Callie. Imagine what that was like for me. It can be the same for you.”

He considered his attack erotic.

A shiver went down my spine and my mouth went dry. “You attacked me.”

“If you hadn’t fought me, you would have enjoyed it as much as I did. Think about it. And think of me as you enjoy the rest of your strawberries.”

Chapter Twenty Three

A vase full of wildflowers greeted me the morning of my plans with Tristan. The vase was almost too heavy to pick up. I inhaled the sunflower blooms as I maneuvered it in the room. It overwhelmed my dresser, but it did make the room smell heavenly.

I checked the card, less fancy this time, although I still knew exactly who it was from.

To the one who doesn’t have to be like the others—Have you ever played hide and go seek with someone like me? Tony will pick you up tonight at 8. XX

I sighed as I flopped down on my bed. Tristan would never take any of this seriously. It was maddening. He wasn’t going to erase what he did with gifts, no matter how beautiful. I fought the urge to drop the vase out the window, but the flowers were just too pretty to destroy.

Why couldn’t they have been from Blade? I realized I hadn’t heard from him since Monday. Checking the clock to see if he’d be done with work, I pressed the green call button and held my breath.

“Hey.” He actually answered. If I knew how to do a cartwheel, I probably would have done one.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I’m good.” He seemed guarded.

“It was good to see you the other day.” I wasn’t sure if I should apologize again, or what, “Despite everything that’s happened.”

“Yeah.” Had I let too much time pass? Had he changed his mind?

“Listen, I’d love to see you before your show.”

“Yeah, sounds good.” He didn’t sound convincing.

“When is good for you?” I was hoping he’d say right now, but from his last response, that seemed highly unlikely.

“I don’t know. I’m rehearsing with the band all weekend.”

“All weekend? You don’t have time for anything else?”

“Not really.”

I sighed. I didn’t know if he did this on purpose or he just genuinely didn’t want to see me. Either way it ripped me apart. “You’re not even going to stop to eat?”

“Fine. How about lunch on Sunday?”

I mustered up all the perkiness I had, ignoring his exasperation. “Perfect. Looking forward to it.”

I hung up feeling worse about my situation with Blade than before the conversation. My heart fractured further hearing how hurt he sounded. How could I ever fix the damage I’d caused him?

Two and a half hours before Tony arrived. Ready or not, he was coming. I stood up and went over to the beautiful bouquet that overwhelmed the room. I ran my finger along a soft petal, enjoyed the sweet perfume of the bloom, and frowned. I needed to put a stop to this.

“Hi, beautiful,” Tristan answered almost immediately. It caught me off guard.

“Hey, um, thanks for the flowers.”

“You like them?”

“Listen, you need to stop sending me gifts.”

“Why? You like them.”

“It’s not the point, Tristan. I can’t come over tonight.”

“Then when can you come?” He just didn’t get it.

“It’s not a good idea.”

“Why?”

“I never know what’s going to happen when I see you.”

“I know exactly what will happen if you come see me, Callie. I’ve played it out in my mind so many times. Would you like me to tell you all about it?”

I sucked in my breath. “That won’t be necessary.”

“One of these days, you’ll find out.”

Chapter Twenty Four

Blade came to pick me up around one in the afternoon on Sunday. I felt like we were going on our first date. God, I’d like nothing more than to go back in time and ride the gondola, watch the water show, and play Go Fish with the hooker cards like we did that night. If I could only go back and erase all the stupid things I’d done.

But did I really want to erase everything that had happened? No. Was I sorry I did it, or was I really just sorry I got caught? No wonder I felt like I was tip toeing on egg shells as I approached the mustang.

“Hey there,” I greeted him as I strapped myself in. Routine wanted to lean in and kiss him. Instinct told me that probably wasn’t my best idea. Instead I played nervously with my scarf.

“Hey,” he faced me without removing his sunglasses, making his face almost unreadable, but he couldn’t help at least smiling when he saw me. My heart warmed and I smiled back, still keeping on guard.

He still hadn’t shaved. I loved a little bit of stubble on him, but I’d never seen this much. “What’s with the beard?”

“I don’t know, just lazy, I guess.” He shrugged as he pulled into traffic. “A lot on my mind.”

That sounded loaded, so I didn’t press him about it. I had a feeling I’d find out all in good time.

“Listen, do you mind if we just go back to my place? I’ve got stuff we can make.”

“No, that’s fine. It will be fun. I’ve missed cooking for you.”

Once we got back to his house, I’d discovered he’d bought all the makings for tacos. Perfect. I seasoned the beef and put it in his ancient skillet to brown, then collected the vegetables out of the refrigerator bin to chop. Blade settled himself on the stool on the other side of the counter and cracked open a beer. I thought it was a little early for that, but I kept my mouth shut. I wanted to keep disagreements to a minimum.

“How are rehearsals coming?” I asked as I sliced into an onion.

“Good.” Blade said between sips. “A lot to learn and remember.”

“How long has it been since you’ve played out?”

“A couple of years.”

“I didn’t think you were interested in that anymore.”

“Truthfully, I wasn’t, but I really like these guys, so it seemed like a good opportunity. Why not? It’s just one night, for now.”

I finished dicing the peppers and slid them off the cutting board along with the onions into a waiting pan. I placed the avocado on the cutting board before sacrificing it to the guacamole Gods. The kitchen smelled heavenly already with everything simmering away on the stove.

“If I ask you something, will you —” I almost used the word promise, still an open wound. “Not get mad?”

His eyebrows flattened as I waited for his answer. He ran his hand along the beer bottle. “I can try.”

I took a deep breath and continued mashing avocado. I couldn’t look at him while I asked. “Tristan said you had something to do with Immortal Dilemma in the past. He didn’t tell me what though.”

When I looked up, Blade’s face had turned red with anger at the mention of Tristan’s name, as I could have predicted. He pursed his lips and moved them around, as if he was willing his mouth to speak. Or maybe not speak. He never took his eyes off of the bottle in his hand.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He exhaled loudly. “I could ask you the same question. It didn’t seem important.”

“It is important. I knew you had a problem with him, but I thought you just hated the whole vampire thing. If I had known you had a part of it, it would have changed things.”

Would it have?

“I was never a part of it.”

“Then what happened?”

“Alright, fine.” Blade leaned back in his chair, and ran his hands through his hair. I put down my utensils and sat down on the stool next to his to listen. Our knees brushed against each other. It was all I could do not to reach out for him. It wasn’t time yet.

“When we first moved down here, I got caught up in all the excitement of the scene. They had just finished building the Alta Vista, and there was a casting call for a reality show with Trevor George as an executive producer, and they needed musicians. The economy had just fallen into the toilet, and I didn’t have much else going on. It sounded like a good time. So I auditioned.”

“It was for Immortal Forever?” Which of course I knew, since Tristan’s dad, movie superstar Trevor George, was the co-executive producer as well as one of the primary share holders in the Alta Vista, along with Talis.

“Yeah. At first it was really cool. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll. I made it all the way down to the final three for drummers. I would have preferred to play guitar, but as we know, that spot was taken. But they neglected to mention until then what you had to give up to win.”

“You would have had to become a vampire.”

“Right.”

“This might be a stupid question, but why didn’t you do it?”

At least now Blade was looking at me. He had softened again, he seemed much less defensive. Maybe he felt relieved to tell me.

“It’s not a stupid question. I struggled with it for a long time. Who doesn’t want to live forever, you know? But then, what happens when you live forever, trapped in the body of a twenty year old? Does your mind get old, while your body stays young? Would I always be the same? Would it be boring? If I hated it, what could I do to change it? I mean, look at Tristan,” I was shocked to hear Blade say his name. “Trapped in the Alta Vista, doing those concerts and those shows like a puppet, drugged out of his mind, just a pawn of that stupid bitch Talis. Is that how I wanted to spend eternity? No, I wanted to have a family and see the world on my own terms. I wanted to grow up. Even if it meant the clock was ticking.”

“It makes a lot of sense.” I said quietly. “I think you made the right decision.”

“I hadn’t questioned it at all until recently, until I found out about you and Tristan,” I opened my mouth to speak but he put up his hand to stop me. “Maybe if I had done it, if I had become one of them, it would be me you were so hung up on.”

“It is you that I’m hung up on.”

He reached out for my hand and smiled sadly as his fingers wrapped around mine. “I’m just worried it will never be enough for you. I can’t compete with Bloodlust.”

“It’s not a competition.”

“That’s what worries me.”

I sighed. “You just need to let me try.”

The hamburger finished cooking so I got up to serve the tacos. It seemed like a good way to break the cloud of doubt that hovered over the room for both of us. I knew just how Blade liked his tacos, so I made his three without asking. I placed the ingredients in my plate and didn’t bother with the shell. We dug in our food in silence for a few moments.

“So did you always hate him?”

“Tristan?” Blade finished working on the food in his mouth as he thought about his answer. “Not really. He’s a good time; the guy definitely knows how to party. But he was always an arrogant prick. Such a spoiled rich brat that always had everything handed to him, even now. Especially now. I always had to work so hard for everything I had. I mean, getting this house left to me and Dave was a Godsend. We would have never been able to come over here otherwise.

“Back to your question, no, I pitied him more. He’s got everything, but he’s so alone, and angry. So really, he’s got nothing.” He paused, looking away from me. “But now, yes, I hate him.”

I pushed around the remaining food in my plate, no longer hungry. I didn’t want to look in Blade’s eyes because I knew they’d be full of anger and darkness. Instead, I noticed he had cleared his plate, so I picked it up to bring to the sink along with mine.

“Leave it,” Blade startled me by breaking the silence and I almost dropped the plates. “I can clean it up later.” He grabbed another beer out of the refrigerator and headed towards the couch. Not knowing what else to do, I followed him.

He flipped on the TV and settled on some football game. He was sitting in such a way I couldn’t help myself but to snuggle up beside him. Rejection terrified me. If he shunned me or pushed me away I probably would have just died on the spot. Thankfully, he put his arm around me and pulled me in closer. I reached up to his face and softly played with the hair in his beard.

“That tickles.”

“It’s soft,” I twisted my fingers into it more. Before this would have probably led to a full on wrestling match on the couch, but now, who knew. He moved my hand away from his face and leaned in to kiss me. Soft and slow, he seemed unsure and maybe as scared as I was.

“Oh,” We were interrupted when Dave walked into the room. He seemed flustered. “Hey, Callie. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Actually, I was just about to take her home,” Blade said, sitting up straight. I fell away in surprise by default. What? He was?

As soon as Dave walked in, he’d popped our little bubble that shielded us from reality. I stared blankly at the television and tried to hide my bewilderment.

I searched my brain for anything that would seem like appropriate small talk on the way home and came up with nothing. But I had to say something. “Will you pick me up before your show next weekend?”

“Yeah, I can do that. We will have to get there a little early to load in and for sound check, so you might be a little bored during that.”

“That’s fine.”

“Alright, I’ll probably pick you up around five.”

“Whatever works.” Anything to keep the hope of making things better alive.

We already were in front of my building. “It was good to see you today.” I wanted to lean in and kiss him, but I wasn’t sure he’d recovered from the reality of being walked in on by his brother. It stung to think he was embarrassed to be caught kissing me. What had he said to Dave?

“It was good to see you today too. Thanks for lunch.”

“Anytime.”

He reached over and squeezed my hand. “Next weekend.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”