Because This Is Forever (17 page)

“Leah,
that’s enough,” Mia snapped. “You have at least three months there. That’s
enough to get you going and settled. What does waiting for the other half
matter?”

“
Exactly
,” her sister shouted. “What
is
the point of waiting? I said I would
pay the money back. Do you think I’m gonna take your money and run?”

Nate
had been relatively quiet during Leah’s angry tirade but Mia knew the angrier
he became, the quieter he got. However, his dark glare still couldn’t rein in
Leah’s wrath.

Though
Nate would never harm her sister, Mia didn’t want this to escalate where either
of them said something they would regret. Since Nate wouldn’t concede and Leah
wouldn’t quit, Mia was caught between a rock and a shrew.

“If
you’re asking me if I trust you,” Nate finally said, his tone sharp and direct,
“the answer is no. And the more you go on like this, the more I wonder what you
really need the money for.”

“I
told you,” Leah snapped. “I’m moving to California to start my career.”

“Right,”
Nate scoffed. “And I’ve got a gold bridge for sale.”

“Well,
then you can take the money you’ll make and shove it up your—”

“
Leah, watch it
,” Mia lashed out. “You’re
not gonna talk to him like that in his own house.”

“No,
Mia, let her speak. Maybe the truth will finally spill out.” He turned to Leah,
his dark gaze penetrating into her. “Are you really going to California or are
you trying to see how much money you can chump me for?”

Leah
leveled her eyes at him. “You don’t want to go there,” she bit out. “I was
gonna wait until after I left but maybe I should just go right ahead and tell Mia
about the family lawyer you plan on hiring to take custody of Mikey. Or maybe you’ve
already hired him.”

Mia
sucked in her breath, her gaze darting to Nate’s. His eyes were glaciers. “You’ve
been through my things?” he snarled with barely suppressed rage.

Mia
looked at him searchingly.
He isn’t even going
to deny it?

Leah
shrugged, her chin raised defiantly. “It wasn’t on purpose,” she defended. “I came
in here to use the computer and was looking for something to write with when I
found it in your desk.” She turned to face her. “Mia, I told you he would try
something like this.”

Mia was
barely listening to her sister. Her gaze was on Nate. His betrayal was
threatening to consume her.

“You
need to just take Mikey and—”

Leah
didn’t get to finish her words. Nate stepped between them and practically
roared in her sister’s face. “
Get the
hell out of here. Now!
”

For
the first time that evening, Leah fell silent. She glared up at him for a
second then stormed out of the office.

Nate
slammed the door behind her sister. He turned to face her but didn’t say
anything. Mia didn’t think she would have believed anything he said anyway. She
calmly walked to his desk and opened the first drawer. She rummaged through it
until she found the small white business card.

She
held it up. “Adam Montgomery,” she read out loud. “Family attorney specializing
in divorce, child support, and child custody.”

“Mia—”

“So
you lied to me,” she whispered. “You said you wouldn’t take Mikey from me. You
said that was the last thing you wanted to do.”

He
looked at her intently. “It is,” he said, his voice pitched low. “You think I
want to put Mikey through that? That I want to put
you
through that?”

She stared
up at him, wanting to believe him. “Then what are you doing with this,” she
whispered.

He ran
his hand through his hair. “My father gave me the damn card and I pretty much
forgot I still had it.”

Mia’s
stomach rolled at the mention of his father.
What a bitter, spiteful man.
Her voice shook with anger when she
shouted, “The same man who said you could do a lot better than me. The same bastard
who said
you don’t need the cow to get
the calf
.”

“I
told you I wasn’t going to fight you for Mikey,” he barked, his eyes steely. “You
either believe me or you don’t.”

But
she knew, as she knew she loved her son, that there was no way Nate was going
to let her just take Mikey away from him.

“Oh
God,” she whispered. “How could I be so stupid? There’s no way you’re letting me
take Mikey from you.”

He
sighed. “No,” he said simply.

Mia’s
heart sank. Then a fiery determination lit in her. “If you think I’m going to
leave Mikey here, you better think again,” she screamed. “I will fight you with
everything I have before I let that happen.
Everything!
”

Something
dark flashed in his eyes. He strode to her and grabbed her arm. “I don’t want
to fight you,” he snarled inches from her face. “I want to marry you, damn it!”

Chapter Sixteen

Words
failed her.

She
looked at him through tear-blurred eyes, stunned speechless. Five years ago she
had wanted nothing more than to marry him, to live happily ever after with
him
.

But things
were different now. She was different. She had painfully grown out of those
fairytale fantasies. She knew he was offering marriage because of Mikey, because
of her circumstances, and she would be foolish to reject him. But he didn’t
mention anything about love so if he wanted to be in Mikey’s life, she wouldn’t
deny him. She, however, didn’t have to marry him.

Mia
sighed. Maybe she was a hopeless fool after all.

Nate
released her, threading his hand through his hair. “Damn it,” he muttered. “That’s
not how I wanted to do that.” He sighed and reached into his pocket. In his
palm was a small, black box. “Here. I wanted to ask you last night, after
dinner. But things sort of went south.”

Mia
stared at the black box but didn’t move to take it. She had grown out of her
delusion of grand, sweeping romantic gestures where he would ask her to marry
him. There would be no big announcement, no man on bended knee. But she didn’t want
this, this halfhearted, obligatory proposal that seemed to come more out of resignation
than love. She wanted—no, she
needed
—him
to love her. She wanted that more than she wanted the ring nestled in the velvety
black box.

“No,”
she said thickly. “I’m sorry but I can’t.”

He
dropped his hand to his side, his hand fisted around the small box. “Why not?”
he demanded, tension and anger laced in those two words.

She
glanced away from him. “Because I want a marriage that will last forever, not a
marriage of…of convenience. A marriage that could end at any moment.”

His
eyes narrowed in genuine confusion. “A marriage of convenience…”

She
took a deep, steadying breath. “Whatever you want to call it,” she murmured. “I’m
just saying that is what we would have and I don’t want that. There’s no need
to be old-fashioned about this. If you want to be in Mikey’s life, I won’t stop
you. I’m sure we can come up with a way to make this work.”

Nate
regarded her incredulously. “This is not about Mikey. Not really, anyway. This
is about
us
. How could you still think
about leaving after what we’ve shared these past few days?”

She stared
at him, amazed by his arrogance. “Nate, I have a life to get back to and
us
sleeping together doesn’t change that.”

He
glanced away, his profile rigid. “Don’t you still…”

“Love
you?” Mia finished for him when he let the words trail. “Yes, I do.” She wouldn’t
deny it. She never had and she never would. “But it didn’t change anything then
and I don’t see how it does now.”

He rubbed
the back of his neck, appearing uneasy, a bit uncertain. “Mia…I love you too,”
he said gruffly.

For
some reason those hesitant, unsure words angered her. Why did he have to
aggravate the wound? Wasn’t it enough she’d made herself vulnerable to him?

“Don’t,”
she whispered fiercely, unable to stop the tears forming in her eyes.

He
frowned. “Don’t what? Don’t tell you that I love you? Well I do.”

Mia
stared at him evenly.
Don’t mock me.
She desperately wanted to believe him but
how could she? She knew he wanted her, even cared about her, but
love
?

“How
do you know?” she blurted, not meaning to say the words out loud.

He
looked startled by her question but the loud, shrill ringing of his cell
interrupted whatever he was about to say. He cursed.

He
stared at the screen for a second then answered it. “Fred, right now is not a
good time,” he barked. He paused, his brows drawing together as he listened to
the man on the other end. “When?” Nate’s face was becoming increasingly pale. Something
was terribly wrong.

Out
of impulse, one she couldn’t control, Mia walked up to him and placed her hand
on his arm. The need to touch him, to soothe him, was back again. He looked
down at her as he listened intently on the phone, but he was looking right
through her.

“Where
is he?” Nate asked. A short pause, then he said, “I’m on my way.” He hung up and
for a second stood there unmoving. Mia grew worried.

“Nate,
what is it?”

He
stared down at her with something like confusion and disbelief in his dark
eyes. “My father,” he began roughly. “He’s in the hospital. He had a stroke.”

“Oh
my God,” Mia breathed.

Nate
shook his head as if trying to clear his head and process what was happening. She
knew exactly how he must be feeling. She’d felt the same way when her mother
had relapsed.

“Fred’s
at the hospital now,” he said. “I…I have to go.”

She
followed him out of the office. “I’m coming with you.”

He
turned back to her. “No, Mikey—”

“Can
stay with Leah,” she interrupted. “I’m coming with you,” she said more
forcefully.

* * * *

Nate
sat in the hospital waiting area with Mia sitting beside him as Fred lounged in
the seat across from them, still in his evening suit.

When
they had arrived, Fred had quickly filled him in on his father’s condition.
Right now Charles was undergoing a series of tests and it would be a while
before he was allowed visitors. Apparently, his father had collapsed during a
benefit dinner tonight. He had been complaining about a splitting headache the
night before and the doctors believed he may have suffered a minor stroke the
night before.

Now that
the shock had worn off, a strange numbness was taking its place, which Nate was
grateful for. He didn’t know how he should be feeling right now so he was glad
to be feeling nothing.

Mia
held his hand, her soft, gentle touch reminding him he wasn’t alone in this.

They
had been waiting for about half an hour yet it felt much longer. He could only
imagine how Fred was feeling. The older man had been at the dinner with his
father when Charles collapsed and had stayed even after he’d been admitted. He
now looked haggard and disheveled.

“Fred,
you don’t have to wait around,” Nate said. “I’ll call you if anything changes.”

“Are
you sure?” he asked, his eyes probing.

“Yes,”
Nate assured him. “Go home. Get some rest.”

Fred
stood, looking uncertain but relieved. He kissed Mia good night then gave Nate’s
shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Call me if you need anything.”

Nate
nodded. They were finally alone in the secluded waiting area. He felt her eyes
on him but kept his gaze averted, looking at nothing in particular.

He’d
screwed things up tonight. Just as he had last night. What should have been a
perfect evening that ended with them engaged had instead turned bitter and hostile.
And tonight, he had still managed to one up his own classy performance by shouting
his proposal with as much finesse as a baby with its foot in its mouth.
So much for making it special for her
.

He
cursed her sister for the trouble she had started in the short time she had
been here. Everything had been going great before she’d showed up with all her
demands, attitudes, and insinuations. Yet even as Nate cursed her, he cursed
himself. He certainly could have handled things a lot better than he had thus
far.

“Are
you okay?” Mia asked quietly, pulling him out of his self-berating thoughts.

He
turned to face her and saw the concern there. “Yeah,” he whispered. “You?”

She
didn’t respond just continued staring at him with those large, gentle eyes of
hers. “Do you want to try calling your mother again?”

Nate
snorted, leaned forward in his seat, and rested his head in his hands. “No. Between
my and Fred’s calls, I’m sure she got the message.” Lillian McArthur may not
even be in the country, Nate thought. It was the summer and she spent the
majority of her time out of the country around this time. Mia, however,
wouldn’t understand that. He was accustomed to not having his mother around but
Nate could sense her confusion, her many questions.

“What
are you thinking?” she finally asked, her hand slowly rubbing his back.

Nate
sighed, the gentleness in her tone tugging at him. He couldn’t retreat into his
own thoughts, not right now. And he found he didn’t want to.

“I
can’t believe I’m sitting here right now,” Nate whispered roughly. “In all my
life, I’ve never even seen that man catch a cold.”

The same man who said you could do a lot
better than me.

Her
words played back in his head and he got the same tight feeling he’d had when
she’d thrown the words at him earlier. Is that why she refused to marry him? Did
she believe he felt that way? That he was just settling? She
had
to know he loved her.

How do you know?

Her
last words still echoed in his head.

“I’m
sure he’ll pull through,” Mia whispered. “It’s natural to feel confusion and
shock right now.”

He
turned to look at her. She was so beautiful, so forgiving, so loving. Here she was
lending him her support, her presence for a man who had shown her no more
respect than he did his housekeepers. And despite his cold relationship with
his father, despite his lack of finesse where she was concerned, and the
mistakes he made in their relationship, she still loved him, still sat by his
side.

His
father had gotten it all wrong. It was she who was too good for him. He didn’t
deserve her.

Nate looked
away from her and blurted the thoughts that had been bothering him since they
entered the hospital. “There was a time I didn’t care if he lived or died.”

She
tensed beside him and he could feel her eyes on him. “You don’t mean that,” she
whispered.

He
let out a harsh laugh. “I’m sitting here trying to figure out how I
should
feel about all this, Mia. What
does that say about me?”

She was
silent for a moment. He had never committed those thoughts into words but there
had been times he felt he didn’t have a father anyway.

“I
think you’re confusing shock with indifference. I know because that’s how I
felt when my mom had first been diagnosed and then again when she passed. At
first I thought something was wrong with me because I didn’t feel anything, but
I learned it was my way of distancing myself from reality. It becomes surreal and
I think the thought of losing your dad is doing the same thing to you.” She
slipped her hand in his. “You’re not a monster, Nate. You’re just scared.”

He
gripped her hand tight, as if somehow she would be taken from him. He let her
words sink in as he thought of the man who had been more his keeper than a
father. Everything was too fresh for him to discern and make sense of right now,
but her words gave him hope. She didn’t think less of him, didn’t think him
unworthy to be a good father to Mikey.

They
sat in silence for a while, waiting for the doctor to provide them with an
update.

“Mr.
McArthur, your father is doing fine but we would like to keep him over for
observation for the next few days, in case he suffers a more severe attack.”

Nate
nodded. The doctor proceeded to tell them the extent of the damage his father
had suffered because of the stroke. Nate was suddenly overwhelmed by it all. He
couldn’t imagine his father in such a weakened condition. Even at sixty-five,
his father was a man in good physical shape.

“He
hasn’t suffered any major damage from what we can tell,” the doctor continued, “though
he may have to walk with a cane for some time, until he regains strength and
feeling back in his right leg. But a few weeks in physical therapy should help
with that.”

Nate
nodded again then cleared his throat. “Can we see him?”

“Of
course, though he’s resting now.” The doctor led them to the private room his
father had been placed in. Before they entered, he turned and glanced at Mia. “I’m
sorry but we ask that only immediate family be in the room at this time.”

“Its
fine,” Mia began, pulling away from him. “I can wait out—”

Nate
grabbed her hand again and shot the doctor a hard glare. “She is family.”

They
walked into the room and Nate was unprepared for the sight that greeted him.
His father lay in the narrow hospital bed, looking pale and gaunt. The man, who
had once seemed indestructible to him, now appeared…fragile.

As he
drew closer to the bed, he stared down at his father’s still face, a face that
looked as if it had aged considerably. There were a few machines surrounding
him and he had no understanding of their function only that they were keeping
his father alive.

Nate
remembered the way his father had been with Mikey, how carefree and jovial. He
had been like another person—completely unlike the man Nate had grown to know. Yet
Nate harbored no anger or resentment toward him. Not anymore anyway. There was
only regret now. Regret that he would never get to know his father as he had
always wanted to, that they would never have the kind of relationship he had
yearned for as a kid.