Becoming Myself: The True Story of Thomas Who Became Sara (27 page)

Acknowledgements

I am eternally grateful to quite a few people who have not only made it possible for me to survive, but who have also helped me in my journey back to myself. Some of them don’t even recognise the measure of their own contribution to this story and for some their modesty would not allow them to admit to it, but I insist on acknowledging them, precisely because they are so worthy of it for all they have done for me and what they mean to me now.

First and foremost, I am indebted to my friend, Kathy O’Donovan, who has had to cope with so much over the past eight years, especially the earlier and less pleasant stages of my transition. Kathy was also by my side on no less than four occasions when I tried to commit suicide. I deeply regret putting her through these experiences and as my friend, I can only love her and cherish her all the more for it. Kathy was one of the first people who taught me to think better of myself and of my abilities and who encouraged me to deal with my situation once and for all. She recognised very early on that I was a female and that I was deeply depressed because of it. There are simply no words adequate enough to thank her or to pay tribute to her for all that she has done for me.

Others I would like to acknowledge and thank are: Conny and Frank Ovesen at Flexa Furniture and Ivan and Karen
Nixon at
MHC
Shopfitters. They started out as my clients and then became good friends. They are also the first clients I told about my situation. They were so understanding and accepting of me and never once allowed it to affect our business relationship; if anything, that relationship was greatly enhanced by their generosity and I shall be forever grateful to them for it, especially as it gave me the much-needed confidence to go on in my business when it would have been so easy to panic and give it up. Thank you.

I wish to extend my warmest appreciation to my neighbours in Midleton who have been nothing but kind to me during the very difficult, and to be honest, frightening period of my transition. In particular, I would like to acknowledge the following: Gail, Lucy and Victoria Peters, who were the first of the neighbours I told and who have since become my friends; also, Geraldine, Jim and Mark who gave me a most enjoyable and joyous Christmas in 2004. To Michael, Kathleen and Katy Noonan who have been very supportive, as have Geraldine Mahon and her sons and Pierre, Marie and all their family. I also want to mention my neighbours, the Shortiss family, who have been exemplary in their kindness towards me. I have no doubt that some of these fine people will be more than a bit embarrassed to find themselves included here, but they thoroughly deserve it.

I am also indebted to Fabian and Sinead and Ruey and Geoff, who were my old neighbours in Castlemartyr. They have been nothing but supportive of me and fought over who was going to have me for Christmas dinner: I never realised I was such a sought-after guest! They made me feel very special and I had a wonderful Christmas with them back in 2005, which certainly helped me through what was one of the most stressful periods, and I am extremely grateful.

I am also grateful to the media for the sensitive manner in which they dealt with the issue of my gender dysphoria and for giving me the opportunity to tell my story in a totally dignified fashion. In particular, I would like to acknowledge the production team on the
Big Bite
show on
RTÉ
, Lara McCashan of the
Irish Independent
, David at Cork 103
FM
, and Alice de la Cour and Helen O’Callaghan of the
Irish Examiner
.

I would also like to extend my appreciation to my publishing mentor, Rachel Pierce, not only for believing in this project but because of the efforts she has made in helping it to see the light of day, and to Cormac Kinsella for having the foresight to pass it on to her.

I must reserve a special place for Liam and Sheena Joyce, for being the very best example of Christian love and friendship that I ever experienced since becoming a practising Christian, twenty-four years ago. It was Liam who first recognised very clearly that I had a strong feminine side. He knew there was something fundamentally different about me and that my plan to go to Bible college and into the ministry would be disastrous, not just for me, but for all those who would be under any ministry in which I served. He exercised great Christian compassion, foresight and courage in ensuring that I was not accepted into college, acting out of my best interests and for this I am profoundly grateful and deeply proud to call him my friend.

And to the countless others who have made a contribution to this story, a heartfelt thank you.

At Dublin Zoo, 1964. I’m the one on the left.

From the left, my nan, me, Peter, Fred, Damien, Brenda and our mother.

Taken after my uncle and aunt’s wedding at the Church of the Assumption, Ballyfermot, c. 1971

Signing the Marriage Register at St Matthew’s Church, Ballyfermot, 27 March 1981.

The Green Fields Hotel, Playa Del Inglés, Gran Canaria, 1999.

Taking the helm, Sousse, Tunisia, 2003.

After I had my first laser treatment to remove facial hair, 2005.

My passport, which would be altered after I changed my name by deed poll in September 2006.

Just one of the accreditations altered following my change of name by deed poll.