Becoming Sir (24 page)

“Ye
s. We’re so very proud of our sweet girl,” she chimed in, longingly gazing at Ciara.

“Thank you,
Master and Mistress,” her eyes shined.

“I’m proud of you as well. Beauty and intelligence are two of the finest qualities a woman can possess, Angel, and you have them in spades.”

“Well said, Sawyer. Let’s have a toast to Precious,” Kerian lifted his glass. “Our lives are forever changed because of her presence and will never be the same without her. May she be cherished and loved a for thousand lifetimes,” he choked out.

Ciara’s eyes d
arted to him and a pained expression flashed in her eyes. Julia, too, stifled a cry.

“May I be excused, Master?” Julia
squeaked out, nearly sobbing.

Kerian nodded, removed her leash, and she
quickly exited the table. Dropping her head, Ciara scanned the tabletop and let out a soft whimper.  When she did, Kerian wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tucked her into his body protectively.

“Precious…” he whispered
in her ear. “Go find your Mistress. Comfort her.”

She looked to Sawyer for his permission and his heart went out to her.  She didn’t
need his permission anymore than Kerian wanted to let her go. He was only an onlooker, a bystander and an intruder in their lives. He quickly unsnapped the leash and nodded.

When she disappeared into the restroom, Kerian sat
mutely solemn, picking at an imaginary loose thread on his tie.

Seeing
the sadness in all their eyes, Sawyer couldn’t help but ask, “Kerian, why not just add Ciara to your family and ask her to be your slave indefinitely?”

When he looked up, a fierce yearning shone brightly in his
middle-aged eyes. “Because it’s not my place as her trainer to make a selfish offer like that. She’s undergone a life-changing transformation and become attached to Julie and me. It’s to be expected. She is a true slave at heart and she would never deny her Master, but I do not want her to fear the unknown or to stay out of some sense of obligation. Do I want her to remain under my protection and to live with us? Absolutely, but I cannot take that which is not mine to take.”

He turned his face away to hide
his hurt but Sawyer could feel it thick in the air all around them. Now he knew why Sarah would never offer herself to him and why their union could never be. He dropped his head, too, both the resilient Doms silently dealing with their sorrow the only way they knew how. At that moment he made his decision. Knowing that Sarah would never offer herself to him and regardless of how he felt about her, he would offer his Mastery to Ciara once their training was over. That is, if she still wanted anything to do with him after the impending scene that was looming in the very near future.

***

Lying in bed with Ciara before dinner, he rubbed circles on her back as they spoke of things to come. She knew a final test was being planned but not the details. Her anxiousness was bubbling over and he did his best to soothe her.

“It will all work
out, Angel,” he told her as she rested her head on his chest. “You’re a very special woman, Ciara.”

She tipped her head up to look at him and smiled, and it was hard to miss the look of optimism in her eyes. He wo
ndered what she was thinking and if it was him that she wanted for a lifelong Master.  Or perhaps someone else. She had been exposed to many men over her six months of training and surely there were others who were vying for her slavery. They’d be dense not to.

“I don’t think you fully know the power you have over men.”

“Nor do you realize the power you have over women.”

“Oh, I know,” he narrowed his eyes mysteriously.

“You’re coming into your Dominant skin, Sawyer Morrison, and your confidence has grown exponentially in the short time you’ve been away from me. You must have one amazing trainer.”

Sarah.
His heart clenched. “Yes, she is, just as your trainers are. We’ve been very lucky to have been placed in their knowing hands.”

The same sadness that was in Ciara’s
eyes at the restaurant filled her eyes again. “Yes. I can’t imagine my life away from Master K and Mistress J. I’ll be lost without them.”

“No,
you won’t. You’ll walk a new path, with a new Master.”

She looked at him doubtfully but managed a smile. “I can only hope.”

***

During dinner, the conversation focused on
Ciara’s training and everything she had been taught. It was intriguing. She was not only instructed on how to speak, act and think in ways that were pleasing, but endured total power exchange. When he heard about the behavior modification sessions she had been put through, he had new-found respect for her. He couldn’t imagine having to be put through such strict and sometimes harsh tests of one’s will.

He quickly felt information
overload when he heard of the stringent rules that she adhered to and he wondered if he could live up to the task of being her Master. He suddenly looked at Kerian in a whole new light and was in awe of his skill and patience.

When he learned that Ciara had also been submitted to aversion training
that included spanking, cropping, and clamping to ‘encourage’ her compliance, he felt heartsick. There was no way he was going to do those things to her except for pleasure. He could barely stomach the spanking he had to give Sarah, for fuck’s sake. He was no sadist and he needed to make that clear.

When the conversation paused, he asked his question. “Are you a masochist, Ciara?”

The question seemed to surprise everyone at the table but she answered without hesitation.

“No, Master.”

He relaxed, but another question lingered. “Then how does doing all those things mentioned work effectively for someone who is a masochist?”

Ciara looked to Kerian who responded. “If the slave being tr
ained enjoys pain, punishment may need to be in the form of psychological or emotional in order to create the unpleasant effects that punishment necessitates.”

So in addition to doling out pain as punishment, he had to consi
der how to mentally punish his would be submissive or slave? He rubbed his palm over his face and tipped his chair back on two legs. What a daunting thought. Ciara sat staring at him with an acute sense of disappointment in her eyes, and he touched her arm to ease her anxiety.

“No worries; I’m no sadist, Angel.”

She bowed her head and acted as if she was embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to… what I mean is… even if you were, it wouldn’t be my place to judge you. I would accept you no matter what your preferences are.”

Kerian quickly chimed
in. “Precious, your heart and attitude are in the right place, but you cannot accept a Master who you will not be compatible with. You are no masochist and you are not expected to be. Don’t you ever allow a man to try and change the perfect slave that you are or to change that which is in your heart,” he stated firmly, pounding a fist on the table.

It was easy to read Kerian’s emotions as they played on his face. He would accept nothing less than the perfect Master for his precious Ciara.

“Back me up, Sawyer,” he barked, catching him off guard and making him almost tip backwards in the tilted chair. He brought the chair down onto all four legs and cleared his throat.

“Absolutely, Ciara.
Nothing and no one can change what is in your heart, no matter how much you think you may want that person, or want to be wanted by them.”

Dylan and Isabel popped into his head unexpectedly. His sadist
ic needs to her masochistic wants; did they even know how lucky they were to find each other? It certainly wasn’t lost on Sawyer how fortunate he was that Ciara didn’t crave pain. What if she had been a masochist? He didn’t want to think about that.

Shit. What if Sarah had been? How would his training have gone then? Come to think of it, Isabel and Dylan probably wouldn’t have chosen her to train him
if she had been. This was all too much to think about. Again, he rubbed his hand over his face and sighed deeply. He was brought back by Kerian’s deep and mocking laugh.

“It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?”

“If ever there was an understatement – that was it.”

***

While Ciara showered, Sawyer’s phone alarm beeped, notifying him of his 9:00 p.m. appointment. He smiled and reached for it, but his joy quickly faded when he remembered that Sarah wouldn’t be at the other end of town thinking of him while she played with herself. He touched the screen anyway and brought up her image. Those eyes… my God. The way they were staring at him in the photograph… the same way she looked at him when she was waiting for his command. And how they sparkled when she came. Or the way they got all sleepy and needy looking while she sucked him off. He swallowed hard and powered down his phone.

Ciara.
It was about her this weekend, not Sarah and her beautiful blue eyes. Just then Ciara came out wrapped in only a towel, all wet hair and big, brown, lusty eyes.  And submissive as fuck.

Christ, man!
He heard Kerian’s voice ringing in his ears. No shit. He needed to seriously make up his fucking mind. Why couldn’t he just have both of them? His own version of a mini-harem with an enormously obnoxious, canopied bed and all? Or maybe they could all move to Utah and he could become a bigamist and they could be sister-wives. Was that such an unreasonable thought?

“What are you thinking about
, Master?” Ciara asked him.

Mortified of
his inner thoughts, he blushed and he couldn’t believe that he had actually fucking blushed. He shook his head and mentally kicked himself in the balls for being such a ridiculous, dithering pussy.

“Nothing, Angel. Let’s lie down.”

Ciara’s hands roamed over his body, seeking out his pleasure points and finding them rapidly. He reached a hand out, gliding his fingers over the angel wing on her left shoulder blade and the same spot that Kerian had set aflame only an hour earlier. He had demonstrated his skills with fire play and Sawyer had watched with intense interest as his Angel seemed to enjoy what was being done to her. It was ironic to think about his dark Angel on fire and it was arousing to bear witness to.

Ciara’s hand came to rest on his cock as
she lay next to him, her free hand resting on his abdomen. She focused all her attention on his shaft as she stroked him into complete hardness. Her thumb glided over the head of his dick and he grunted, leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Her grip tightened and her hand moved slowly up and down, fiery sensations filling his lower belly. With his eyes still shut, he felt her warm, wet mouth on him, the sucking pressure almost too much to take. He didn’t want to open his eyes. Her mouth felt so good and the sloppy wet sounds were too delicious, and he was content to just imagine what she looked like pleasuring him like this.

“Mmmmaster…” her
soft, feminine voice broke through.

He didn’t want to come just yet.
Not just yet. He just wanted more of her mouth. She had the kind of touch and mouth that a man could get used to. Yes, he could most definitely spend a lifetime with that mouth at his beck and call. She began to hum some unrecognizable song while bobbing up and down, and the buzzing sensation on his shaft nearly made him shoot his wad. He abruptly sat up, tugged her hair, dragging her mouth away from him.

“I’m not ready to come,” he told her when she looked up at him confused. “
You first, Angel.”

***

Sunday afternoon had arrived so rapidly, Sawyer felt ill-prepared and frankly, sick to his stomach. All that practice and this is what it came down to. His nerves were frayed and while Ciara dressed for lunch he contemplated backing out. Ciara trusted him; he could see it in her eyes and he didn’t want to lose that.

Moving to the window, he placed a hand on the cold
glass. The night had brought a heavy layer of frost and the ice-covered view outside was stunning. Winter was closing in on them and he couldn’t wait for the first snowfall.
Sarah.
He smiled. Just the thought of her brought him peace.

He recalled the note and retrieved it.

“
I write this in hopes of putting your mind at ease for your upcoming scene.

I started out in BDSM wanting to be controlled and owned. I wanted to be made to forget everything about who
I had been. But when my Master gave me those things and we gave into our desires, I lost sight of all that and so did he. We became animal, instinct, nature. We became what we were meant to be – Dominant and submissive. And so will you. And when you do, nothing less than a woman’s complete surrender will quench your thirst and that’s okay to admit. You are a Dominant, Sawyer. It’s who you are. I have no doubts about your abilities so go forward and accept Ciara’s gift of submission and push her limits gently, knowing that no matter what the outcome is, you’ve done what you were meant to do – to dominate.

xxSarah”

Sarah’s written words were exactly what he needed. He closed his eyes and imagined her bright and eager face the first time he met her. It was her submissiveness that day that had urged him to go through with training and it was her words now that pushed him to go through with the scene. What would he do without her in his life? Could Ciara ever fulfill the need that Sarah had? He didn’t dare think that far in advance. Right here and right now is all that mattered. He squared his shoulders, ready to begin the next stage of his journey.