bedeviled & beyond 06.5 - bedeviled & bah humbug (2 page)

More rustling was followed by the sound of ripping as the wrapping around the cheese ball apparently gave way under nasty rodent teeth. “Next time just throw cousin Arnie’s gift out as soon as he hands it to you. It isn’t worth this.”

“Amen Sistah.” Another green glob flew off her face as she nodded.

I took a deep breath and forced myself to step down off the table. Deciding close combat was not an option given the extremely disgusting nature of my opponent, I left my knives in their sheathes and pulled my power forward, using it to create a protective bubble as I moved toward the tree.

My heart pounded hard in my chest. Sweat popped out all over my body, running in a cold trickle between my shoulder blades and making my palms sloppy with damp. I scrubbed my hands on my sweater and tried to get my panicked breathing under control.

In case you haven’t already figured it out...I’m not a fan of rats. Give me a slathering pack of gargoyles any day, or a worm-like supra demon in the ear. Give me a half dead fish demon stinking up a pool. Just don’t put a dammed rat within ten miles of me. “Happy frunkin’ Christmas, Astra.” I muttered to myself.

I scooted slowly closer, trying not to move my feet too much while gaining on the cheese ball feasting rat under the tree. I was on the down low...keeping it chill...lying in the proverbial weeds. “I can handle this.” I murmured. “I’ll just send a teensy, tiny, rat sized jolt into the nasty thing and fry it.”

Hisssssssssss!

“Arrrggghhhhh!!!!”

Without warning, the rat jumped out of the tree and pinged off my shield. I panicked and shot everything I had into the nasty, disease-ridden thing. A giant ball of fire roared from my fingers, flew sizzling toward the ugly, brown creature lying dazed at my feet, and disintegrated it into a small pile of grey ashes in the blink of an eye.

Unfortunately it didn’t stop there. The carpet beneath the rat sparked into flame and, with a terrible whoosh, spread outward toward the scrawny tree. The fire hit the bottom of the tree and hovered as the green faced woman and I watched, open mouthed in horror, and then ignited like a giant fire starter log and went up in hungry flames that consumed the spindly thing in about two seconds.

The fire ball would have taken the curtains behind the tree too, but by that point the apartment’s inhabitant had shaken herself out of her horrified trance and run to get her fire extinguisher. She doused the curtains and the carpet around the tree and reduced the fire to a wet, smoking mess that formed a perfect circle beneath the cremated Christmas tree.

I stared at the spot for a few minutes, unsure what to say. Finally I decided there was nothing I could say that would make things better so I turned around and headed toward the door.

“Wait! Where are you going?”

I stopped with my hand on the knob of the door, which was ripped off its hinges and hung at an odd angle from the frame. I cleared my throat and tried, “Um, my work here is done?”

I didn’t think she’d bought it.

She glared across the room, her thin lips pinched together so tight they looked like string surrounded by a sea of green slime. My fingers twitched and lifted toward my knives. I was pretty sure the woman was going to attack me with the fire extinguisher.

Amazingly, the thin lips finally twitched and she smiled. “Thanks for saving me from the rat.” She set the extinguisher down and held up a finger. “Wait here a second.” She disappeared into another room and came out with something wrapped in a napkin. Handing me a huge, frosted sugar cookie shaped like a star she smiled. “Merry Christmas.”

I blinked. “Ah. Um. Okay, yeah. This looks great. Thanks.” I tried to pull the door closed as I left but it was hanging half off its hinges and wouldn’t shut. Picking it up, I carried it closed as I left and jammed it back into its frame. As I slunk down the hallway I pulled out my mini televisual.

Flick answered on the third ring. I could hear the sounds of hilarity in the background. “Hey, Astra.”

“I need a cleanup crew.”

“You got the demon. Great!”

“No. I haven’t seen him yet. But I need you to come magic this woman’s apartment back to normal. I kind of trashed it.”

A long silence followed my sheepish admission, then a sigh. “Since it’s Christmas Eve, I’m not even going to ask.”

“Good. Thanks.” I hesitated before hanging up. “What’s going on there? Are you at a party?”

“I gotta go, Astra.”

I pulled the televisual away from my ear and stared at it. The dork had hung up on me. I couldn’t even believe it. I swore vehemently, causing an elderly couple who’d been heading into the building as I exited to step back and watch me leave with worried expressions. I tried a smile but that just made them huddle together in fear so I got out of there, dragging my feet in the icy snow.

Fresh snow had begun to fall while I’d been inside trashing the poor woman’s apartment. If I’d been at Flick’s party, sitting before a roaring fire and drinking something cold and alcoholic, it would have looked pretty through the window. But since I was outside, alone, and chasing a stupid green demon in Santa garb it was just cold and wet.

I slogged back to the building I’d been watching and leaned against a light post to keep an eye on it. Taking a bite of the cookie, I moaned in delight. I was pretty sure I’d never tasted anything so incredibly good. I finished it up and was licking my fingers, feeling a bit happier, when something touched my shoulder. I jumped and gave an embarrassing little squeal.

My aunt Myra stood there, glaring at me.

Embarrassment at having been caught off guard made me lose my temper. “What?! What do you want?! It’s like I’m living through a bad presentation of the Christmas Carol or something!”

Myra’s pretty pink lips opened to respond.

I cut her off. “No, wait, let me guess...you’re the crabby ghost of Christmas future! Right?”

Her glare deepened. “I came to see if you’d caught The Grinch yet.”

“No, dammit! I haven’t caught the stupid Grinch! I killed the hell out of a rat the size of your butt, trashed a woman’s house, and scared the crap out of an elderly couple. But The Grinch still lives to steal another present.”

She placed her hands on her hips. “What’s the hold up, Astra? It’s just one little demon.”

My fingers twitched toward my knives. “Don’t push me, angel. I’m cold, I’m tired, and I’m feeling unloved and underappreciated. I don’t need any guff from you right now.” Myra’s eyes sparkled with something that looked suspiciously like mirth. “You got something in your eye, aunt?”

She shook her head, turning away. “I have to go. Oh. I almost forgot to give you this.” She extended her arm and was suddenly holding a steaming mug of coffee in one hand. “Merry Christmas, niece.” She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I didn’t know whether to shudder or cry. My cranky aunt Myra wasn’t exactly the demonstrative type.

Finally I settled for simple good manners. “Thanks.”

She shrugged and disappeared with a pop. I sipped the steaming liquid and nearly groaned with pleasure. It was hot and rich and it went all the way to my soggy toes and warmed them. In fact, it almost made me smile.

Almost.

I leaned against the light pole again and enjoyed my hot coffee until it was gone. The snow stopped falling and the night grew quiet. I looked up at a brightly sparkling sky. The night smelled clean and clear and I found myself almost enjoying it.

A star shot past overhead. Another angel going to a party.

I frowned. But before I could settle back into full-on wallow mode, a clump of snow dropped off the roof of the building and landed on my head. I looked up and saw a wide, green face, topped off with a red Santa cap.

He was grinning at me.

“Hey!” I pulled my powers forward and thought about the rooftop. In a blink I was up there with the green guy, knives drawn.

He was on the opposite side of the roof, leaning against some kind of huge metal contraption. He had his legs crossed at the ankles and was examining his fingernails. “What took you so long?”

My fingers tightened on my knives. A cocky demon. Good. I felt the need to beat something up. “I was just drawing out the pleasure of kicking your green ass.”

He chuckled, the sound husky and warm. My eyes widened as the sound made me tingle in my special places.

That just wasn’t right.

The Grinch pushed himself away from the metal box and started toward me. Beneath the long, green body and bushy body hair, the demon moved with an elegant sort of grace. I realized right away that he wasn’t your average, everyday demon type. I’d have to be very careful with him.

The creature’s eyes were long, narrow, and red, with the longest green eyelashes I’d ever seen. Okay, I haven’t seen all that many green eyelashes...but you get my meaning. The stupid hat sat at a jaunty angle on the creature’s wide head. The fluffy ball at the tip bounced against one finely chiseled cheek as he walked.

I lifted my knives and pulled my power forward, ready for the hand to hand combat I’d resisted on the nasty rat. Fighting the creature who’d ruined my Christmas Eve would be fun. It would be cathartic. I knew I should just blast the jerk. But something was keeping me from doing it. Maybe it was the Christmas season. Maybe it was the way my body tightened and warmed as I watched him move, maybe it was the twinge of recognition I couldn’t justify in my mind.

My hesitation was my undoing. I blinked and The Grinch disappeared. Before I realized where he’d gone, his hot breath was dancing across my cheek and one long, green arm was wrapped around my chest, pinning my arms to my body.

“You are a beautiful woman, Astra Q Phelps.”

His voice was a husky caress along my nerves, his breath a sweet, hot musk along my cheek and down the side of my neck. I gulped, shivering. I was totally transfixed. Unable to move. Like he’d put me under some sort of spell. I forced my mind to focus as a familiar tingling started low in my body.

It couldn’t be. What I was feeling just couldn’t be right. I licked my lips and tried to speak. My throat creaked horribly. I had to clear it and start over. “Let me go.”

His laugh stroked my body in all the right places, drawing heat and leaving behind goose flesh, as if a spectral finger had traced a path across the sensitive peaks of my flesh. I felt naked and raw, exposed under his touch.

“Please.” My voice sounded pitiful, desperate.

Hot lips found my throat, moving unerringly toward the pulse throbbing there. “You smell delicious.”

Panicked, I closed my eyes, pulled air into my lungs, and dragged my power kicking and screaming toward the surface of my mind. With a scream of regret as well as anger, I flung my arms out, knocking him away from me, and sent my power out in a wide sweep of the roof.

The huge metal box across the roof gave way with a groan and an ear-splitting wrenching sound. Asphalt roof shingles lifted and wrenched away from the building. A huge, metal antenna twisted like an aluminum candy cane and flew off into the night.

And above it all I heard his husky laughter as if from a distance. I forced myself to take a deep breath. Somehow the thing had gotten the best of me. I’d expected oily evil and demon nastiness. I hadn’t expected to be attracted to the disgusting creature.

What was happening to me? Had I really fallen so far?

A touch on my shoulder was all the warning I had that he was behind me. I started to swing around, but it was too late. I got only the briefest impression of flashing black eyes and a familiar smile in a handsome golden face. Movement and sound dropped away as we shifted through space and time. It returned in a loud and colorful rush.

We landed in a crowded room, filled with people, alcohol, and music. As soon as I could speak again I swore softly, my mind trying to wrap around the reality of my standing, suddenly, in the middle of a party, when I’d just been fighting The Grinch on a bitterly cold rooftop.

Flick appeared from the midst of the crowd, grinning widely. “Merry Christmas, Astra.”

I frowned. “What the hell’s going on?”

Flick patted my arm. “We decided you deserved some Christmas cheer. There’s always next year to catch The Grinch.”

My sister, Darma chimed in, “We didn’t expect it to take you so long to catch him. It should have been a quick grab and vanquish.”

I stuck my tongue out at her. She barely noticed. Her pretty face was lifted toward Dialle’s brother, Torre, filled with adoration. The two of them were in their own small, love drenched world.

I rolled my eyes.

Dialle leaned down and kissed my lips. “Now I know what to wear later, when we’re role playing before hot, monkey sex.”

My lips twitched. “That was you?”

His laugh touched places in my body only he could touch.

I laughed with him. “You make a really sexy Grinch.”

He lowered his head and captured my bottom lip between strong, white teeth, nipping gently. “I do my best.”

Wrapping my arms around his neck I pulled him into a real kiss. Joy soared in my chest. Lust consumed my body, heating it beyond anything my wonderful Christmas gifts could have done. I lost myself in that kiss. The noise of the crowd and the music died away. The incredible smell of Christmas goodies slipped into an unused corner of my mind. The twist and jostle of bodies disappeared.

My world narrowed down to one gorgeous, devilish creature.

Dialle.

His touch, his scent, the feel of his long, hard limbs around my body, that was Christmas for me. No...it was more than that...it was lo...

My eyes flew open. “Oh God!”

A flash of green caught my eye over by the Christmas tree. Without thinking, I pulled my power forward and called out. “Hey, you! Grinch!”

The skinny green body straightened away from the tree. The demon was holding a beautifully wrapped, silver package in his spidery green fingers. His red eyes widened as I threw out my hand.

Like a panicked chorus the room erupted in a single word. “NO!”

Dialle grabbed my arm just as the power blasted from my fingers and sent it sideways, away from The Grinch standing slack jawed in front of the tree. My redirected energy hit the ten foot tall, blue spruce filled with heirloom ornaments and sent it up in a whoosh of flame.