bedeviled & beyond 07 - beset & bewildered (4 page)

“God save me from idiots,” I murmured.

His grin widened. “What was that?”

“I said, Yes! I was wrong. Okay. Are you happy now?”

“Kind of, yeah. There’s only one thing keeping me from full on glorious exaltation.”

“What’s that?”

He reached for me, pulling me roughly away from the massive black form on my kitchen floor. I had a brief hope...erm...worry that he was going to kiss me. But instead he cast a warning glance toward the hound. “That thing’s about to wake up.”

CHAPTER THREE

Against all Advice...A New Client

It’s pretty bad when there’s a random naked woman in the kitchen,

...and it’s the least of your problems.

Over the course of the next moment, two things happened at once. The air shimmered as another visitor breeched my once private sanctum and the massive black creature lying on the floor opened its eyes and shook itself, then fixed a hostile, fiery glare on Slayer and me.

Slayer shoved me again, trying to move me away from the Hellhound. The feel of his big hand, hot as fire itself, pushing against my shoulder suddenly twanged my last nerve like a Laylo musician from Pluto twitching claws over bright red strings. I shoved him back and moved forward, standing at his side. “Stop trying to protect me like I’m a helpless girl.”

Slayer shifted his weight and came up with his sword. I looked at my empty hands and frowned.

“It’s not the girl thing,” he told me with a grin. “It’s the novice thing. Do you have Seraphim?”

My frown deepened to a glare. Of course I didn’t have my weapon. It was hanging from my bedpost in its pretty sheath. “I wasn’t expecting company, Slayer.”

The hound bunched its muscles and shoved upward, suddenly standing on all four massive paws, its long tail snapping and sizzling with flame.

Fire had also found its sinewy spine, dancing along the creature’s lithe form as it turned with a growl toward the shimmery spot on the air.

A familiar shape took form inside the space shift and I swore.

I realized in that moment what was about to happen. Misunderstanding was about to hook up with Mistake and have a baby called OhShit in the middle of my kitchen.

Slayer seemed to realize the same thing at the same moment. He lunged toward the hound, swinging his sword past the thing’s moist black nose with a power-induced whoosh.

Astra swayed sideways as his sword flashed past and, quick as a wink she was holding two fists full of sizzling energy, her arm cocking back to fling it.

“No!” I launched myself toward my sister, not even sure who I was trying to protect, and was slapped away by a giant paw and a set of impossibly sharp claws. Pain tore icy chunks from my belly and I flew backward, slamming into Slayer and sending us both clattering into the food valet.

The hound took a step toward Astra and I watched with a horrified gaze as my sister’s arm swept forward, energy ready to fling.

But she stopped in midair, her energy dissipating, and amazingly, the Hellhound lowered its front end in an elegant bow.

Astra looked at me and Slayer, her expression deadly. “Why didn’t you tell me she was here?”

Slayer got to his feet, pulling me up with him. “She who?”

Astra looked aghast. “Have you two even read the reports I’ve been sending you?”

I skimmed Slayer a look and he shrugged. It was clear I wasn’t going to get any help from him. So I faced my sister with a defensive frown. “We’ve been kind of busy.”

The hound stirred and Astra threw it a glare. “Don’t even think about moving, Caninra.”

The thing lowered its head and gave what sounded very much like a sigh. Then its fur erupted in waves of shiny ripples and disappeared with a sizzling sound. I blinked in surprise at the tall, strongly built woman standing in its place. She fixed me with a hostile look as if blaming me for the presence of my sister, the haughty Queen of whatever she and Dialle decided they needed to rule. I took a page from Slayer’s playbook and shrugged. “I didn’t invite my sister here.”

Astra cocked a hip. “Well frunk me.”

I slid my gaze her way. “What?”

“You’re apologizing to the Keeper of the Hounds on my account?”

“Queen of the Hounds,” my formerly furry guest clarified.

Astra slid her a look. “Button it, Caninra.”

The woman pursed lush red lips, her pale jaw tightening at the rebuke. “We have not come to an accord as yet, Queen Astra. You have no right to speak thus to me.”

“When you sneak around behind my back, trying to get my sister to support your case I have every right to speak to you like I want. You broke the rules, Fire Bitch.”

I sucked air, expecting the beautiful, naked woman standing a few feet away from me to take umbrage at the name calling. Instead she smiled, her eyes flashing briefly orange. “My business with your sister is none of your concern.”

Astra’s green gaze flashed too, but hers didn’t spit fire, only pure old fashioned pique. “I’ll remember that when you come to us with another proposition, Caninra.” Astra glanced my way. “I’ll see you two at the royal dungeon, as soon as you put out the dog.”

She disappeared with a shimmery pop. My guest went rigid, her eyes snapping fiercely and her fists clenched. She began to pace the length of my kitchen, her delicate white feet slapping angrily against the stones.

I glanced at Slayer.
What in Hades is going on?

For a moment Slayer didn’t appear to hear me. His black-flecked golden gaze was fixed unwaveringly on our underdressed visitor. I smacked him in the gut.

Grunting, he slowly tore his gaze away from her.
Always with the violence, partner.

I wouldn’t need to hit you if you weren’t ogling the client!

A beautiful naked woman is pacing in front of me. What do you want me to do, close my eyes?

I pointed to my chin.
You have a little drool right here.

Har de har har.

We need to figure out what’s going on. I have a feeling we just stepped right in the middle of some political quagmire.

“I hope you aren’t going to refuse me,” our not yet-ex-client said.

Slayer and I turned at the sound of her smoky voice. She’d stopped pacing and was facing us, hands on hips and legs spread. The pose made it very clear the woman was comfortable with her nakedness.

Unfortunately I was not. I elbowed Slayer again just for good measure. He glared back at me.

“Hello?”

“Oh. Erm. Yeah, about that...”

She hurried forward and I blanched, realizing she was bringing her buck naked self right into my personal space.

Slayer grinned.

I flung up a hand. “Whoa there. You’re fine where you are.”

Slayer blipped away and I nearly growled. I couldn’t believe he’d deserted me.

But I didn’t even have time to get a full mad on before he blipped back. I was vastly relieved to see he had a robe in his hand. He tossed it to the dog woman.

Hey, that’s my favorite robe. It’s gonna smell all smoky.

Would you rather she keep pacing around naked because, if I get a vote...

Stop talking.

The hound queen slipped my robe over her arms and snugged it around her waist with brisk motions. Beneath the thick fall of midnight black hair, her expression was taut, worried.

I decided she deserved to be heard. “Okay, tell us why you’re here. Starting with the gargoyle fang.”

She shoved hair off her face and bit her bottom lip. I noted the small, perfectly white teeth and realized with a shock I’d been expecting fangs. “My people are being assassinated. One by one. And I need your help to find out who it is and stop them. I tried investigating it myself but...” She sighed. “Someone doesn’t want me to find them.”

“They sicced a ’goyle on you,” Slayer guessed.

Caninra nodded.

I frowned. “Obviously you’ve been negotiating with the King and Queen. Why don’t you just ask them for help?”

Her bright brown eyes flashed orange for just a beat. So quickly I wasn’t even sure I’d seen what I thought I saw. “I cannot.”

Slayer leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. All business. “Why not? Astra and Dialle have a lot more resources and power than we do.”

The hound keeper’s elegant fingers twined together at her waist and she moved her feet as if she was thinking about resuming her pacing. I hoped she didn’t. All that pacing was setting my nerves on edge. “Just tell us,” I urged softly.

She left off biting her lip and sighed. “I cannot go to your sister and her king for help because...” She straightened her shoulders, looking me right in the eye. “It is because of them that my people are dying.”

I opened my mouth and then closed it because I didn’t know what to say. My instinct, amazingly, was to defend my sister. But nobody knew better than I what Astra was capable of. And she certainly hadn’t seemed happy to see my guest. “Explain.”

Wringing her hands, Caninra commenced to pacing. She was apparently a very nervous breed of dog. Slayer and I swung our heads in sync, trying to keep her in view. “The recent shakeups in the ruling hierarchy, here and in the Hell environs, have put my hounds at a distinct disadvantage.”

“How so?” I asked.

She snapped me a quick glance. “Isn’t that obvious?”

“Apparently not to me.”

Though she seemed disgusted by my lack of knowledge, she went on. “For millennia our loyalties have been to the king of the devils. As the ruler of Hell, he’s made use of our skills against his enemies and, as such, has taken great pains to see to our breeding and care.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Breeding?”

Slayer threw up a hand. “Hold on. I thought you were queen of the hounds. Can’t you rule them on your own?”

“
Technically
I am, as Queen Astra so crassly put it, a keeper of sorts. But when we lost Dialle the First we were in disarray, aimless. I thought stepping up as leader would help.”

“Why is Astra’s observation crass,” I asked very reasonably. “If that’s what you are?”

She made a disgusted noise with her lips. “What I am,” she fairly growled, “Is the highest placed of all of the hounds. My family is one of only a handful that can shift from hound to human. I am a rare breed of Hellhound, to be respected for my royal birth. I am also an advocate for the species. A protector. A benefactor.” She tossed her thick mane of midnight hair. “Hellhounds have a deep and rich tradition of serving the royals. They’ve spilled blood, given their lives, charging into danger without thought in the protection of those who rule all the dark world. They are deserving of admiration.” Her lip curled. “They do not need to be ‘kept’.”

Yeesh! Sensitive much?
I said to Slayer.

Prickly like a Martian spike apple
, he responded.

She eyed us as if she knew what we were thinking, staring long enough to make me shuffle my feet with embarrassment. “Okay, so I get it. When Astra and Dialle removed the previous king and potential queen, they upset your apple cart,” I said. “So why don’t you just declare allegiance to the new king and queen and
Viola
! All is right again.”

A soft rumble emerged from her delicate throat. “And here I thought your sister was the stupid one.”

“Hey!” I straightened, letting my own growl throb between us. Unfortunately mine came from my stomach. All that talk about apples had gotten my empty belly to thinkin’. “Insulting me isn’t going to get you anywhere, toots. So how about you dial back the hostility a few thousand notches and tell us what you need. Believe it or not, we have lives to get back to.”

She shrugged. “It is very simple. Your sister and her cluck-whipped king are not interested in allying with us. They are trying to create a peaceful kingdom, they tell me. They have no need for war-dogs in that kingdom.”

Slayer’s handsome face folded into a frown. “Astra and Dialle haven’t turned many away who’ve asked to join the court. There must be a good reason.”

“I’m sure they’d let you join their happy commune,” I told her.

“Bah! What would we do in a kingdom filled with cohabitating fools?” she asked. “We are creatures of war.”

“I’m pretty sure the dark fairies will inspire you to do battle,” Slayer offered unhelpfully.

I chuckled before I thought better of it.

The air between us throbbed on another growl.

I tried my placating tone of voice. “Listen, I get your dilemma. Really I do. Personally I never understood the whole constant fighting thing. I like the new peace. But I understand peace isn’t your thing.”

“It isn’t about what our
thing
is, fool!” In the blink of an eye she was in my face, flames spitting from her eyes. I took a step back as energy flooded my hands, and my pulse spiked in a fight or flight response.

Slayer reached over and grabbed Caninra’s arm. “Back off, Fire Bitch.”

She showed me her teeth which, though small and white, sported slightly elongated and razor sharp canines. “My hounds are unfocused for the first time in their long, long lives. They have no purpose. They’ve begun to drift away, finding new employment with less savory creatures. Many of them have been killed. Some imprisoned and tortured in attempts to learn their secrets...” Her voice cracked and tears extinguished the flames in her eyes. “I have lost all but a very small group of my staunchest warriors. And even those have begun to talk of finding their way in the new world.”

Her pain was palpable. I realized in that moment that she loved her hounds. “I’m sorry, Caninra.”

She spun away and returned to pacing. “I don’t need or want your pity. I need your help.”

“If you’d tell us what you need us to do, we can move this meeting forward,” Slayer said with obvious frustration.

I thought about smiling. He was actually starting to sound like a businessman. “He’s right. Tell us what we can do to help.”

“One of my bitches has been taken prisoner by a dark one. They are torturing her unmercifully. I fear for her life.”

Slayer nodded. “Good. That I can get my mind around. Where did they take her?”