Before Him Comes Me (8 page)

Everything about this moment is exactly as Garrett said it
would be. Zara takes a deep breath and squares her shoulders, looking down at
the white access card in her sweaty hand. Feeling her car door open, Zara
exhales one last time before stepping from the Jeep.

“This is it. Yakeley Hall.”

Zara slowly takes the first steps toward her new home. Glancing
back, she finds Garrett is leaning against his Jeep. Making no move to
accompany her, she replays the detailed instructions he gave her while at the beach
house and, again, on the drive over. His waiting at the Jeep until she was
inside was not mentioned, yet she finds it is a welcome addition.

I wish we were still at the beach
house.

Squaring her shoulders more confidently, Zara takes in her
new home. Yakeley Hall is a lovely old red brick building with a plethora of
windows, the lush greenery different than what she is used to in Chattanooga. Marbled
steps lead to a set of wooden double doors with iron handles and stained glass
mosaics in place of windows.

Zara waves the access card over a black electronic box above
the iron handle and a tiny red light turns green. Quickly pulling the handle,
Zara opens the door to her new life, barely believing how much has changed
since waking up on her eighteenth birthday four days earlier.

Pausing long enough for one more deep breath, Zara walks
through the entryway, resisting the urge to see if Garrett is still leaning
against his Jeep. Inside the door, Zara looks up at the ceiling and closes her
eyes.

Come on, Zar. You are not allowed to already miss him. You
should have had the conversation with him. Now, when will you see him again? FOCUS!
THIS IS YOUR LIFE!

This moment marks the beginning of a dream she had never
dared dream. Zara reaches for the pendant Garrett had given her only a few days
prior and finds some comfort in squeezing it in her hand. Needing to feel more
control, she empties her mind and pictures a grain of sand.

Feeling calmer, Zara opens the inner door to the smell of an
old building and books, bringing to mind the small public library she visits
near her parents’ home. Many hours were spent in that library reading to
Fredrik when he was smaller.

Smiling at the memory, Zara hardly notices a bank of metal
mailboxes in the wall across from the “front desk” area Garrett described. The ‘Welcome
to Yakeley’ banner would probably have led her to the correct location without
his thorough instructions.

Growing up, Zara had imagined students milling about the
halls discussing science and philosophy. Much to her surprise and
disappointment, she is the only person in the lobby, making her feel smaller
than normal.

A student dressed in a pink MSU tee shirt and cut off shorts
sits staring at a computer screen as Zara approaches the desk. Not wanting to
interrupt, she stands silently in front of the counter and patiently waits to
be noticed. Observing a room off the lobby with several couches and comfy
chairs, she is startled when a door in the lobby opens and an older woman walks
up to her with a welcoming smile.

“Hello, have you been waiting long?”

“No, Ma’am. I just arrived a moment ago. I am here to check
in. My name is…”

“Zara. My name is Kaye. I am here to help get you to your
room. Beth, this is Zara. Zara, this is Beth.”

Kaye gives the girl at the counter a stern look. Beth gets
to her feet, her annoyed expression replaced with a smile that doesn’t quite
reach her eyes.

“Very nice to meet you, Zara. Welcome to Yakeley. Thanks for
choosing our dorm this year.”

Sliding a green laminated folder in Zara’s direction, Beth
continues with her exaggerated niceties.

“Here’s a copy of the dorm’s rules and regs as well as the university’s,
and a schedule of dorm meetings and events. The temporary entry key you somehow
already got your hands on must be returned once you get your student ID. Your ID
will be your access key. If you have any questions, I will be waiting at this
desk until you are as comfortable as ALL your money can make you.”

“Beth!” Kaye touches Zara’s arm to motion her to follow her.
“Come this way, Zara.”

Walking away from the desk, she continues, “I understand you’re
from down south. I’m not hearing an accent. Were you raised elsewhere?”

“No, Ma’am. My parents felt an accent was not appropriate
for their children so we worked to minimize our accent. Linguistics lessons at
a young age helped and we were required to speak without the use of slang.” Zara’s
voice dwindles off at the end as a look of consternation crosses Kaye’s face. Conversations
with her mother about ‘outsiders’ come rushing back.

Using a technique her mother had taught her, she changes the
subject, “Is there anything you might tell me about Yakeley Hall?”

Kaye smiles broadly, “Yakeley Hall is the only all-female
dorm remaining on campus here at Michigan State. Built in 1948, there is no
elevator or air conditioning. Of course, you will not have to worry about that.”

“Here we are. This is your room. I am going to let you get
settled. If you need anything, Beth will be at the front desk.”

As Kaye walks away, Zara worries her social skills pale in
comparison with the other students at Yakeley. Home-schooling and limited
friendships to fellow community children had insulated her life.

The first thing Zara sees as she walks into her room is a
vase overflowing with daisies. Just inside the door to her left, strings of
beads form a white curtain. Tentatively, Zara runs her hand through them
enjoying their tinkling tune and remembering her recent introduction to Chopin’s
Spring Waltz
, a piece Trudy and Charlotte loved.

Zara moves silently to the center of the room, spinning once
in a tight circle. For a brief moment, she contemplates lying on the floor with
her arms and legs stretched out to see if she is able to touch both sides of
the room.

Zara is transported back to the beach house by the freshly
painted walls done in light blue complimented by a twin bed resembling a big
fluffy cloud with its oversized comforter and two puffy pillows. Along with the
white dresser at the end of the desk, the room feels light and airy.

Zara moves closer to the desk noticing two matching black
frames sitting on the corner of the desk to either side of the vase of daises.
Zara picks up a frame holding a picture of her family.

Her mother had insisted on having a family picture taken at
the beginning of the summer. All the other photos in their house are candid. Her
father didn’t like the fuss of organized photo shoots. Actually, he often made
it clear he didn’t see the point of pictures.

Never had Zara witnessed her mother so adamant about
anything like she was when begging to take these family photos. She had been
willing to endure a serious punishment for pushing Zara’s father to the point
beyond what he would tolerate. In the end, there was both a punishment and a
photograph.

Zara was touched to find it since she would be leaving
behind everything as she began her new life with her Dom. Zara’s job would be
to do what she was told when she was told to do it. Her mother had prepared her
well for her new life.

The second picture is one from her nightstand of her and
Sloane astride horses taken the first day of lessons.

Zara gently stroked the image of Sloane’s face, suddenly missing
her friend and her family. Well, her brother. She missed Fredrik. Her parents…
well… they are her parents and she loves them, but there was always a distance
between her and her parents. She could not recall the last time either her
mother or father had given her a hug, a stark contrast to Garrett’s parents who
freely demonstrated their affection with bone crushing embraces.

Feeling her phone vibrating in her back pocket stops the
futile attempt at recalling a memory of her parents that just doesn’t exist. Garrett
smiles at her from the phone’s display.

“Hello.”

“How’s it going?” he inquires, uncertainty in his voice. A
long silence follows as Zara nods but is unable to answer. “Zara, are you
alright?”

“I think so,” she pushes out. Garrett sighs and she rushes
on, “I am trying to be.”

“Zara, listen to me. If at any point you don’t want to be there,
you call me and I’ll come and pick you up. Do you understand?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“You belong in that dorm and at this school, Zara. Don’t be
afraid.”

“Thank you. I… I will be okay.”

“Zara. Repeat what I said.”

“Don’t be afraid.”

“What else?”

“If I do not want to be here and want to leave… you will come
and get me.”

“Right. I’ll check on you later,” Garrett says firmly.

Zara nods and in the space of dead air, Garrett lightly
chastises, “I can’t hear you when you nod, Little One.”

Garrett hangs up and an alarming thought enters Zara’s mind.
Where would she go if this doesn’t work? Would her family allow her to return
after failing to complete the Circle Ceremony? Her father is on the King Council.
Would returning home be an option without being the sub that she was raised to
become?

An envelope sticking halfway out from under one of the
pillows catches Zara’s eye. Picking it up, she stares at the handwriting,
appreciating the casual flourish of the ‘Z’ in her name. Before she has a
chance to open the letter, Zara’s notification goes off.

Recognizing Sloane’s number, Zara sets the letter down and
reads the message.

Is this a safe time?

Zara replies smiling and nodding.

Yes. I miss you.

A moment later another text shows up.

Miss you too. What the hell is going on? I am worried sick
about you.

While waiting for a response, Zara had looked out the window
seeing a street lined with ancient maple trees. In a parking spot under one of
those trees, a Jeep was sitting with the top down.

Is that Garrett? Is he still here?

Zara’s heart jumps into her throat. The alert vibrates
again.

So what is going on? Details!

Zara quickly texts back saying she will call her in a couple
of hours.

Grabbing her key from the desk, Zara heads for the door. She
rushes out of the building, and then pauses. The trees she had seen from her
room are not in front of her. Rushing around the corner, she repeats to
herself, “Please still be there. Please still be there.”

When he recognizes her running toward him from around the
corner of the building, he jumps out of the Jeep to meet her halfway. Zara leaps
into his arms. Held in his tight embrace, she whispers into his neck. “Thank
you for still being here.”

“Zara, I’ll always be here. I’ll never leave. I wanted to be
close while you explored your room.”

“I am nervous,” she confirms.

“Let’s walk around campus and talk for a bit?”

Zara nods.

Taking her hand, Garrett leads her down the tree-lined
street. He begins to speak in a low tone that requires Zara to block out all
the other sounds to concentrate on his words.

“Everyone is scared when they come to school for the first time.
I was terrified the day my parents dropped me off. But… I was also excited. My
hope is that you have that same combination.”

Crossing the street, Garrett guides Zara down the sidewalk
toward a tall tower. A heavy aroma of flowers fills the air.

“This is Beaumont Tower. It’s a working bell tower.”

Zara stares up at the tower.

“It is beautiful. There is so much greenery, but I smell
flowers.”

Garrett squeezes Zara’s hand, smiling, “It’s a plant lab.”

Throughout their walk, Garrett continues to enthusiastically
point out the highlights of campus, the museum, library and Stadium.

Campus is definitely his favorite place.

Zara feels her hand slip free from Garrett’s moments before
he steers her by the upper arm into a small opening in the thick vegetation.

“Zara… watch your step.”

Nodding, Zara marvels that she is standing at the top of
three wide marble steps looking out over a spectacular garden. Lush flowers
adorn a small pond with a quaint walking bridge over it. A chorus of birds
brings the hidden garden to life.

Overwhelmed by the beauty, Zara turns to look at Garrett
standing just behind her. “Sir, may I ask why this is referred to as the ‘plant
lab’?”

“Garrett,” he chuckles and continues, “Beal Botanical
Gardens. It’s the oldest working plant lab in the country. You seem enthralled.
Shall we walk around the garden?”

“Si… That is not necessary. I appreciate you showing me
this. I would rather continue your tour.”

“Okay. Another time.”

Leading her back out of the garden, Garrett points out
locations recalled from his campus days, sharing short accounts of his
experiences. Zara silently hopes she will find friends and make memories of her
own.

“May I ask, where are all the students?” Having only seen a
handful of people around campus, Zara wonders if she is missing something.

“Main student check in is on Saturday. Upperclassmen check
in tomorrow afternoon.”

“But how did I get to check in? Will I be alone in the
building until Saturday?”

With a shrug Garrett responds, “I made arrangements for a
student worker to be available for you to move in early. I wanted you to have
time to get settled before the other students overwhelmed you.”

Zara cannot disguise from Garrett the horror recalling Beth’s
comments earlier suggesting she was entitled by wealth for early access. Raised
to never question or react, Zara suddenly finds herself completely off balance.
Needing to be away from him to find her center and yet drawn to be near him,
Zara feels she is losing her ability to mask her emotions.

The rest of their walk is done in relative silence. Garrett
points out landmarks while Zara listens, but cannot stop thinking about the
special arrangements Garrett has made for her comfort. Her years of training
are no match for the break in the mental wall that is occurring.