Before the Feast (15 page)

He took Hirtentäschel out on a boat trip with him and insisted on his lending a hand. As soon as someone comes back, Hirtentäschel cried, you want them doing your work for you, but the ferryman thought that was funny. Hirtentäschel rowing, all skin and bones. He found it terribly difficult. In the middle of the lake he couldn't row any more. Then the ferryman made him promise something. He wanted Hirtentäschel to listen to him, he wanted to tell him a story. Hirtentäschel agreed, and listened, but he couldn't concentrate, and to this day he doesn't know what the story was about. They had reached the little island with the barn on it. Hirtentäschel got out, and as soon as he turned round he saw that he was
alone, surrounded by tall grass and insects. “I called to the ferryman, but only a jay answered. I wanted to get back to the water, but the water had disappeared too, I couldn't find the water any more, imagine that, and you'll know what a bad state I was in.”

At this point Uwe Hirtentäschel liked to pause. Frau Steiner and Frau Schober have heard the story so often before that, at the mention of the jay, their lips form the word “jay” soundlessly, and they nod to one another, just as they did today when he was telling his story to a man who had come to dive in the lake, and they do the same with the words “gloomy” and “brittle” in the next sentence: “All was dark and gloomy inside my head,” says Hirtentäschel, “and my mind was brittle, and I saw a weeping willow with moss growing over it, soft, thick moss, so I was going to lie down on the moss, smoke a joint, ease myself out of it, but then something hit the nape of my neck, and I fell over, then something hit my back once, twice, it hurt like hell, it was doing me in, finishing me off, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. The ferryman was thrashing me! He hit me with an oar, he hit my head, my arm. I couldn't let myself lose consciousness, I wanted to see the ferryman above me with his beard full of grass. The blows came raining down on me, my light, I thought, my protector, I thought—then it all went black.

“When I came back to my senses, I was lying naked as a blade of grass on the moss. It was dark. The half-moon hung
above me, and it would have been better if it had been a full moon, but never mind that. A wind was blowing over the lake, over there was the village and the kindly church spire. The ferryman was standing in the water, in the light cast by a strange stone. He was catching fish with his bare hands. Ten or fifteen pike were lying in his boat, thrashing their tails about, dying. I was dead already. I lay down with the fish. I knew something. There was something I knew, and that was the very first time I could say, with certainty: I know. The stone shone brighter than the moon. The ferryman was an angel on earth. He had taken my old life away from me and found me a new one. That was what I knew.

“The ferryman took me back to the village. I felt no pain, there was no trace of the blows to be seen—he had healed me. I promised to serve him. The ferryman asked if I was still on a druggy trip, and where I was going to stay. I'd hoped he would tell me. Then I found out that my parents had moved away years ago, but there was a room vacant in the parsonage. The parsonage, of course. I'm still living in that room today.”

In his room, Uwe Hirtentäschel yawns. The rain beating on the window makes him sleepy. He clears away his tools. The angels' wings quiver in the oak tree, the half-moons, the oars, the tears. Hirtentäschel sweeps the floor of his studio. He's opening it tomorrow for those who take an interest in art. He has also managed to sell a few things these last years. He doesn't make much money, but it's enough, it's enough.

Children like his little wooden angels. He displays them in the bathtub: twenty little angels in twenty little boats with forty little oars, and if a child shows an interest in the angels, Uwe Hirtentäschel puts his arm in the water and the boats bob up and down.

IN THE YEAR 1658, ABOUT MICHAELMAS-TIDE, THE
Well was sunk for the Parsonage, partly for the sake of Convenience, partly to free the Cellar of Water before the Anna Feast, and in the Hole a Piece of Chopp't Wood was found, of the Size of a Hand. Since this Piece of Wood was as much as the Height of two Men down in the Earth, and since the various different Strata of the Soil were distinctly visible, when the Question of how the Wood came to be so deep in the Earth is raised, I can say only that the aforesaid Item must date from before the Deluge.

FRAU SCHWERMUTH'S TELEPHONE RINGS. IT'S
Hirtentäschel on the line. He wants to know what she is doing at the moment. Frau Schwermuth is eating mini-carrots and watching
Buffy
. That was what Hirtentäschel thought, and by that he doesn't mean the vegetables and the vampire-slayer, but the fact that it's not Frau Schwermuth in the Homeland House with her flashlight. Just a moment. Someone's in the Homeland House now, does he mean? Yes, now. Hirtentäschel is looking down, and someone is slinking about inside the House. Slinking? Yes, slinking could be the word, anyway not switching on the lights. And another thing: before that, Anna Geher collapsed outside the House, and along came two young fellows, one tall as a beanpole and the other small and stout, and helped her. And before
that
, he could swear, a fox—Uwe?—came out of the House—Uwe, please stick to the point! Can he recognize anyone? Only a silhouette, tall and thin. It's dark, and his eyes, as she knows. . . Yes, Uwe, but you have glasses! Of course he has glasses!—We ourselves are getting impatient now; those two just won't stick to the point, although the point is perfectly simple when the beam of a flashlight, or a flashlight app, is wandering over the wall of a building by night and there's a broken window standing open, although it seems that Hirtentäschel hasn't noticed the window yet.

Uwe, hang on. Frau Schwermuth clears her throat. There's someone at the door, please stay on the line. . .

Sorry, Uwe. That was Zieschke just now. It's all been dealt with. The power went off again. . . no, I've no idea why, maybe mice like before, or the lightning just now. . . No, he'll see to the Homeland House in the morning, I'm only just back from cycling. . . I don't know, maybe something for the auction.

So says Frau Schwermuth, adding that she'll go right over and take Zieschke the key to the fuse box. Yes, no, everything's fine, is it all okay about coffee and cake for Hirtentäschel's talk? Yes, fine. You too, thanks. Thank you, Uwe. Yes. Yes. Goodnight.

Frau Schwermuth clears her throat. Frau Schwermuth eats a mini-carrot. Her pupils move from extreme left to extreme right.

THE STREETLAMP OUTSIDE THE HOMELAND HOUSE
isn't working. The gate at the entrance shouldn't be open. Johann shines light in from his mobile. There are bits of glass on the ground. The windowpane is broken, the window's open. Ma made that crochet-work curtain.

He shouldn't go in there; he climbs in. Neither Lada nor Suzi nor his half-elf would have done so. The lights won't switch on. On the other hand, Lada and Suzi and in particular Mustard-Micha would be much more likely candidates to do a thing like that here. A thing like what? Talk about it sometimes, anyway. Not about the Homeland House, of course, what is there to nick in here? Johann shines the flashlight app into the front room. Leaves, not very many of them, are lying on the floor, scattered by a gust of wind. It wouldn't be the first time for Mustard-Micha—just ask Lütti at the fuel station in Woldegk. Micha attacked Lütti twice. A gas gun and an Elvis mask, but as soon as he opened his mouth Lütti knew it was Micha under the mask, they'd sort of known each other for ever, since their fathers left them before they were born, their mothers are still best friends today. Lütti didn't show that he knew who it was either time, so as not to hurt Micha's feelings. A year later Micha organized a booze-up to make things okay and apologized to Lütti. “It wasn't anything to do with you personally.” Lütti understood that and accepted the apology.
The booze-up to make things okay was also a celebration of Micha being out of jail. And then Lütti apologized too, because he hadn't meant it personally either when he shopped Micha, but twice was once too many. Naturally Micha also understood that, and accepted the apology.

But seriously, what was there to nick in here? The GDR stuff? Everyone had plenty of that at home. As long as a GDR hairdryer is still getting hair dry somewhere or other, the GDR isn't dead.

The door to the cellar steps is open, a little light comes up from down below. However, the light on the steps isn't working. Johann listens. “Hello?—Ma?”

He shouldn't go down there; he does go down there. A long corridor, with the large door at the end of it standing open. The light is coming from the room beyond the door. The Archivarium. Ma is always talking about her Archivarium. It would break her heart if someone—

Johann knows the room from the 700th anniversary celebrations, when it was nearly empty. Now it is stuffed full of books, standing on shelves and on top of other books, with stacks of papers everywhere. In the corner there is a fine pair of antlers. In the middle of the room there is a table with writing materials, a magnifying glass and even more paper on it.

Best of all is the leather: four gigantic leather wall hangings or whatever you'd call them, made up of separate pieces of leather. Johann runs his fingers over one of them; it is cool. There are signs on it, barely legible characters. A date:
September 1636. Each single piece making up one of the four hangings is written on and dated. It is as if the room had a skin made of leather and writing.

A mouse makes Johann jump as it scurries through the room, disappearing behind a chest. Should he phone Ma, or call the cops at once? But he can't get reception down here. Maybe it was only the wind that broke the window upstairs. But then why is the door here open?

A gigantic folio volume lies on the reading desk, its finely decorated pages charred. Johann takes a photo of the book. The lovely old writing. He really wanted to make sure that the bells were all right. But since he's here. . .

The village was sitting underground, all in a long row, and the earth was cold, and when a chicken began clucking comfortably Barth the blacksmith wrung its neck, and no one said a word
.

Suddenly there's a sound like fine sand trickling down. Oh shit. Johann turns round. There's light in the corridor again, a shadow outside the door—he runs toward it—but it closes as he drums his fists on it, shouting.

The display on the electronic lock changes from green to red.

EARLY IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 1594, THERE CAME
a wondrous procession to Fürstenfelde. Several Carts drawn by Horses and Oxen stopp'd outside the Prenzlau Gate, whereupon men and women jumped down from the said Carts, danc'd and sang and all rac'd about freely, but some lay in Cheynes howling and screaming pitifully, or speaking in strange Tongues.

From out of their turbulent Midst two Men stepped out before the assembled Village, one being tall and one short, both with long Beards and strange forreyn Clothing of fine Fabrick in Motley Hues. Without beating about the Bush, they offered a strange Trade: let the Village bring them, before Morning, all its Dullards, Lunatics, the Feeble-Minded, Fantastics, Deranged and Demented, all those possess'd of Devils and assail'd by Despair, that they be brought to the Northern Sea, where a great sea-going Vessel waited to take them Aboard, as was the Custom, for ever and a Day, the cost being ten Thalers for one such Person.

After this a great Silence fell, into which the Smaller Man cried: We know it is not an Easy Thing to part with your own Kin, yet surely your Lives would be greatly Eased thereafter. See them now making merry, and well cared for, with their own Ilk. And when you think you may fall into Despair yourselves, picture the delightful Sea Voyage they are making!

The Village assembled and debated what were Good and Christian to do. They could not tell, and each made his own Decision.

There was no Peace that Night for the screaming of the Lunatics and the playing of all Manner of Lutes and the like Stringed Instruments. In the Morning the Procession went on, and some, aye, some of us with it.

And if you ever be faring in a Ship on the High Seas, then know that you may at any time meet with a Ship of Fools.

O praise the unfathomable Mercy of God.

THERE IS A SMALL TV SET ON THE CHEST OF DRAWERS
beside the visitors' toilet in the Homeland House. The TV has an integrated video recorder. We think that is a good, practical idea, and we are surprised and sorry that such combi-sets are not so common these days.

What the TV shows confuses us. The TV transmits exclusively the horoscope section of the Breakfast TV program on Sat 1. Frau Schwermuth records it every morning and keeps it running nonstop until it's time to close the Homeland House. The horoscope lady is called Britta Hansen. The village has known Britta since she was
that
high.

We're confused because the TV is on now, at this time of day, with Frau Schwermuth doing knee-bends in front of it.

Britta Hansen says:
Think of every star sign as telling its own story. You are the hero or heroine of that story as you move past the signs
.

The color adjustment can't be regulated any more. Britta Hansen's jacket, which is very red anyway, looks as if it were blazing brightly as she thinks out loud about our star signs.

After reaching the Homeland House, Frau Schwermuth first locked the Archivarium properly. At least that meant Jochim the Tinker was in his proper place and couldn't do any damage. Then she sorted the papers on her desk and stuck a newspaper over the broken window. And now she is doing
exercises and wondering how to proceed as Britta Hansen, in a very red dress and shiny nylons, devotes herself to the subject of Libra, the Scales.

Venus, forever in love, gives you an unexpected romantic and emotional adventure. Take what she offers, and who can tell, you too could know the magic of eternal love
.