Behind Closed Doors (11 page)

R
EGINA WAS A WRECK
and hadn’t slept a wink since taking that catnap yesterday afternoon. It was 9
A.M.
and a blessing that it was Sunday. She was in no shape to go to work or anywhere else that required her to look presentable.

She dragged her head off the pillow, heard the phone ring, and frowned. She was going to be highly upset if it wasn’t Larry on the other end of that phone line. The man hadn’t bothered to call at all yesterday, and for all she knew, he was having the time of his life with that slut Marilyn. She leaned over and looked at the beige Caller ID box, where she saw Marilyn’s phone number lit across the tiny, rectangular screen. She pressed the palm of her hand over her mouth in total dismay. He’d actually had the audacity to go to Marilyn’s condo before coming home and, on top of that, was calling his own wife from
there. The phone rang a fourth time. She quickly picked it up so the answering machine wouldn’t. “Hello?”

“Regina?”

Who in the hell did he think it would be? She’d been on the phone with him a whole second and already he was sounding stupid. “Yeah, it’s me.”

“I’m back in town, and I just wanted to let you know that I’m on my way home. We need to sit down and talk.”

“Where are you right now?”

“I’m at Ted’s. I didn’t want to disturb you, so I asked him to pick me up from the airport.”

That lying, no-good bastard. He’d actually forgotten about the Caller ID. “If you’re at Ted’s,” Regina screamed, “then why is that bitch’s phone number glaring across this Caller ID screen? Huh?”

“Look, Regina,” he said, ignoring the fact that he’d just been cracked, “I’ll be there in about twenty minutes, and we’ll talk then. I don’t want to go into anything over the phone.”

“Why didn’t you call me yesterday? I’m a nervous wreck. Didn’t you even care about what was going on with me? I’m the innocent one in this whole messed-up situation. I don’t deserve any of this shit.”

“I’ll talk to you when I get there. Okay?”

“I want to talk about this right now. You’ve put me off for three days. I left Atlanta on Thursday night, I didn’t hear from you all day Friday, not one word from you yesterday, and now
you’re
telling me when we’re going to talk?
Please
.”

Larry sighed, obviously frustrated. “I’m hanging up now. I’ll see you when I get home. We’ll talk then and not before.”

Regina parted her lips to yell at him again, but she heard the phone click in her ear. He’d actually hung up on her. She dialed Marilyn’s number back, but there was no answer. That was quite all right though, because she was going to be the one to have the last laugh when this was over.

S
HE HEARD A CAR
pull into the driveway and ran over to the window to see if it was him. It was. She saw him unloading his luggage from the trunk of Ted’s car. She didn’t move.

After entering the house and climbing the staircase, Larry walked into the bedroom and looked straight at Regina with a guilty look on his face. She didn’t give him a chance to say anything.

“So what’d you do, have Ted drop that bitch Marilyn off first? Did she stay in Atlanta with you this whole time?”

“Hey. I’m tired, and all I want to do is have a civilized discussion with you,” Larry said, sitting down on the chaise over in the corner, as far away from Regina as the size of the room allowed him to be.

“Tired? What do you think I’ve been doing for the last three nights? Getting my beauty rest? The least you can do is explain to me why you betrayed me the way you did, and what you plan on doing to rectify all of this.”

“First of all, it’s like I told you down in Atlanta. I never
planned for anything like this to happen, it just did. I tried to break it off with her plenty of times, but the more I tried, the deeper things seemed to get. I feel bad, because I never meant to hurt you. I really didn’t. You have to believe that.”

“How did all this start? And when? If nothing else, you at least owe me an explanation for that. I want the truth. No matter how bad it is.”

Larry didn’t say anything the first few seconds. “You’re right, I do owe you an explanation, and that’s why I told you I wanted to come and talk to you. Remember last summer when your aunt from Memphis came to visit your parents and you went to see her, and I was supposed to drive there after my company’s golf playday?”

She looked at him in silence.

He took a deep breath. “Well, right after I’d gotten home to change, the doorbell rang and it was Marilyn. She came in and wanted to know if you were here, and I told her you were in Rockford visiting your aunt from out of town. She wanted to use the phone, so I told her to let herself out after she was finished, and then I went upstairs to take a shower. After I had been in the shower for a few minutes, I saw her opening the shower door. She’d taken all of her clothes off and was just standing there. The next thing I knew, she’d stepped in the shower, and one thing led to another.”

“I can’t believe you’re telling me this,” Regina said, forcefully holding back the tears. “Not in my own house, Larry. Please don’t tell me that that’s where you first had sex with her.”

“You said you wanted me to tell you the truth, and that’s what I’m trying to do. I’m not enjoying this any more than you are.”

“How could you do this to me? Is it that you don’t love me anymore? What is it?”

“I do still love you. Not once have I lied to you about that. But as much as I hate to admit it, I’m in love with Marilyn, too.”

There. He’d finally said it. He was in love with Marilyn, and there was nothing she could really do about it. Her body was overflowing with pain, and she felt faint. She made her way to the bed and sat down on it. She didn’t know what to say to any of this. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever imagined that one day the walls would come crashing down around her like this. How could she ever trust him again? And with the exception of Karen, she’d never trust another woman as long as her heart continued pumping blood through her veins. She was finally crying. Softly, but with obvious emotional pain.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he said. “I wish I could change the way things are, but I can’t.”

“Well, what do you plan on doing now? Have you broken things off with Marilyn?”

“No, I haven’t. But I do think it would be best if I moved out of here for a while so that we can all think things through. I’ve already cleared it with Ted, and he says I can stay with him for a while. I’ll still pay the bills, so you don’t have to worry about anything like that.”

“Bills?” That was the least of her worries at this point. “Larry, it’s not going to help us any if you move out. We need to spend as much time together as we possibly can. I know you’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I’m willing to try and forgive you. I know it will take time, but please don’t just throw our marriage away like this. You say that you love me, and you know I love you. We’ve built too much together to let it all go.”

“I’m too confused to stay here. I don’t know what I want, and it’s not fair for you to have to deal with this. I just think it’s best that I move out. At least on a temporary basis. I mean, I’m not saying I don’t ever want to be with you again, or that I want a divorce. I’m just saying that we need some time apart.”

“Why? I mean, until this Marilyn thing started, we were doing just fine. All you have to do is tell her that it’s over between the two of you.”

“Regina, the only reason we weren’t having any problems was that I never complained about anything you said or did. I always went along with the program just to keep peace between us.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t want to get you any more upset than you already are, so I’ll just leave it at that,” he said, walking into the closet. He grabbed a group of pants off the rack and laid them across the chaise.

“Tell me,” she said and stood up.

“It’s not worth it. It’s best to just leave it alone.”

“I want to know what you mean when you say you
just went along with the program. Tell me,” she said again, louder than before.

“Fine. If you want to know, I’ll tell you. I’ve always despised the fact that you spend every dime you get on a bunch of unnecessary shit and then complain about how we aren’t saving any money. Or how we have so many damn bills to pay. Just look at all this crap you’ve got in this closet,” he said, pointing at her clothing. “Half of it you don’t even wear, and still you keep buying more. I’m sick of paying all of the bills and watching you blow your money and any of mine that’s left over on material shit. I’m sick of all those credit card bills coming in here. That’s not how I want to live the rest of my life. And I’m sick and tired of you breaking your neck to get something just because Karen has it. That’s just plain crazy. And most of all, I’m sick of you running around all the time thinking you’re Miss It, simply because the shade of your skin is a little lighter than the next person’s. The whole time I’ve known you, you’ve been color-struck. Hell, I’m light-skinned, too, but I sure as hell don’t think I’m better than any dark-skinned brother, and I’d be stupid if I did.”

She was stunned. She’d had no idea he was this miserable with her. That he’d had all of these complaints and dislikes. If she’d had any feelings left, she’d be hurt. Was she that terrible with money? And she knew he wasn’t serious when he said she was color-struck. She never disliked people or treated them any differently simply because they were dark-skinned. She simply thought that light-skinned people were more attractive. But she didn’t
think she was better in general. And the only reason she and Karen ended up with so many of the same things was that they had the same taste. It had been that way since they were children. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she finally said.

“No, I didn’t think you would. But I know you’re not going to stand there and pretend nobody has ever said anything to you about blowing money or making those comments about color all the time, like you do. I know better than that.”

“No, as a matter of fact, not one person has ever said anything about me being color-struck. And if I spend too much money, all you had to do was tell me about it. Not go out and start screwing some bitch like Marilyn.”

“Weren’t you just listening to me? It’s not just that, it’s your whole attitude,” he said, bunching together some of his dress socks from the dresser drawer.

“Why don’t you just admit it,” she said, walking toward him. “It’s not my attitude, it’s that ugly, black bitch you’ve been messing around with that’s causing you to act like this.”

“You see, that’s the kind of shit I’m talking about. You know just as well as I do that Marilyn is far from being ugly, and the only reason you’re saying that is because she’s dark. It’s just too much for you to accept that she looks just as good as you do.”

“Why are you talking to me like this? You come in here saying you’re sorry and how you didn’t mean to hurt me, and now you’re talking to me this way? What’s the mat
ter with you? It’s like you’re up one minute and down the next. Just because you’ve gone out there and made an ass of yourself doesn’t mean you have the right to treat me like this.”

“Look. I’m not arguing with you about this anymore. I thought I could come over here and have an adult conversation, but the only thing this is turning into is a screaming match.”

“Why are you going to stay with Ted, when you can stay right here? This house is certainly big enough for both of us. We don’t even have to sleep in the same bedroom if you don’t want to. I’m telling you, if you walk out that door, things will never be the same between us again. Maybe we just need to see a marriage counselor, since you say I’m doing so many things you don’t like. Let’s at least try that.”

“My mind is made up. I thought about it a lot over the last couple of days, and this is the best way to do this. If I stay here, all we’re going to do is argue.”

“Are you going to see Marilyn while we’re separated?”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m moving out because I need to clear my head, not find a convenient way to see her.”

Quite obviously. Almost every day of the week had been convenient until she’d busted him three days ago. “Please, Larry. Don’t leave like this. At least give our marriage a chance.” The sound of her own voice sickened her. He’d been screwing around on her for almost a year, and here she was begging him not to leave her.

He ignored what she’d just said and continued gather
ing his underwear and ties together. He’d just finished packing his colognes and other toiletries in the overnight bag when Regina went to the bed and started pulling out the items he’d already packed. “I won’t let you leave like this. If you stay here, we can work on keeping our marriage together. Just give it a week, and then if you still feel the same, I won’t stand in your way. I promise.”

“Don’t take anything else out of that suitcase,” he said with anger flowing through his voice. “I mean it, Regina. I’m not playing with you.”

Dear God. This wasn’t the same Larry she’d married two years ago. Not even a slight resemblance, for that matter. What was wrong with him? Why was he so irate and disrespecting her the way he was? She was almost afraid to say anything else, but before she knew it, the words were already passing through her lips. “Why are you so angry? Why are you treating me like this?”

“Because. I told you I was sorry. I told you the truth about Marilyn, and now you’re harassing me about leaving. I told you my mind was made up, and still, you keep hounding me about it. The last thing I wanted was for us to end up at each other’s throats like this.”

“Okay. Fine. I’ll leave you alone. But the only reason I’m trying to stop you from leaving is because I love you more than anything in this world, and I don’t want to lose you. I thought that meant something to you.” She was crying again.

“It does mean something, and I love you too, but it’s still best that we separate for a while,” he said, zipping
up the garment bag and throwing it across his arm. He picked up the smaller suitcase and overnight bag. “I’ll be back sometime this week to get some more of my things. Maybe I’ll see you then, okay?”