Behind Closed Doors (3 page)

John looked at Karen as if he didn’t know who she was. He could clearly see that it was his wife standing in front of him, but it was the tone of her voice and choice of words that confused him. She was starting to make a habit of this. Lately, it had been hard to believe that this was the same woman who had graduated from high school in three years in a college preparatory program, maintained a 3.8 grade point average while completing her bachelor’s degree in finance at the University of Illinois in Champaign, and completed an MBA program with honors while working full-time. And it definitely didn’t sound like the same woman who was usually offended when he or anyone else used an excessive amount of vulgarity while in her presence. Shit, she was reminding him of those women he had seen on one of the talk shows a couple of weeks ago, when he’d skipped
work and gone to the track. He couldn’t remember if it had been Oprah, Sally, or Jenny he was watching, but that really didn’t matter. What did matter was that those women were being verbally abused by their husbands, and he felt like he was getting the same treatment from Karen.

“Don’t you have anything to say?” Karen asked.

“What do you want me to say? I mean, I’m sorry for what I did, but I know you don’t want to hear—”

“You’re damn right, I don’t want to hear that shit.”

If she was going to keep cutting him off, why did she ask him if he had anything to say? “I don’t know what else to say, except I’m sorry and that I really learned my lesson tonight. This was the last time I’ll be going out to Arlington on a Friday evening. Or any evening for that matter. So help me God.”

“I think you better leave God out of this. Especially since you know you’re not telling the truth. You don’t even know what the truth is when it comes to gambling. You need to check the yellow pages for some help, because you obviously can’t stop this crap on your own.”

“I don’t need any help. I’ve got this all under control. Tonight was the last night. You can believe that.”

“I’m not believing shit, because you’ve been giving me that same sob story for the last three weeks, and I’m not listening to it anymore. Either you’re going to cut it out or get the hell out of this house. Take your pick, brother.”

Karen flipped the light switch to the off position as hard as she could and stormed through the great room,
leaving John standing there in the dark. She couldn’t see too well, and without paying much attention, she jammed her baby toe on the edge of the antique-white pillar at the base of the stairway. She screamed and then instantly reached down for her toe, grasping it as tight as she could. The pain raced through her entire foot. This was the same toe she had struck on the corner of the bed last Friday when she had been, once again, arguing with John, and she hoped like hell she hadn’t broken it this time. Damn, he was already causing her major heartaches and mental distress, but now this shit was starting to get physical.

After she hopped back up to the second level, she opened the linen closet and pulled out a royal blue comforter and a pillow, went back over to the top of the stairs, and threw them both down to the main floor. “You can sleep on the basement sofa, the floor, or wherever, just so long as you don’t bring your trifling ass up here.”

John was standing at the bottom of the stairs about to take his first step up when the comforter struck him in the face. “You can’t be serious. Do you actually think I’m going to sleep on the floor or the sofa, when we’ve got a huge guest bedroom upstairs? Woman, you must be crazy.”

Karen scrunched her face. “Maybe you didn’t hear me. I said, I don’t want your ass up here. I don’t want you anywhere near me.” She walked into the master bedroom and slammed the door so hard that she turned and looked back at it to make sure the wood hadn’t cracked.
She dove facedown across the bed, crying silently yet uncontrollably. She wasn’t sure if she was sobbing because they were having their first major marital problem and it was getting out of hand, or if it was solely because he was messing up their money. Either way, she had to make him see that she was serious. That she wasn’t just playing games with him. If he believed she would actually throw him out—which she didn’t know if she could—just maybe he’d stop acting like some stark-raving, wild madman and get back to being the perfect husband he used to be.

W
HEN REGINA PULLED UP
in her black Jeep Cherokee, she saw Karen stepping out of her white one. Their college dreams of getting married, owning two beautiful homes in an upper-class, Northwest suburb of Chicago, and having annual household incomes over one hundred thousand dollars had come true. Since the age of six they’d done just about everything together and purchased almost everything alike—mostly because Regina literally couldn’t sleep at night if Karen had gone out and bought something and she, for whatever reason, hadn’t yet been able to acquire it herself. Like last year, when the LeBaron convertible had been paid off. Karen had decided that she wanted a white, sun-roofed, gold-packaged Jeep Cherokee for the weekends, and when John had discovered they could purchase it at a price discounted by four thousand dollars, courtesy of his em
ployee discount, they’d gone for it. Larry, on the other hand, thought thirty thousand was a ridiculous amount of money to pay for any vehicle that wasn’t foreign made, he being a Lexus man and all, but Regina wasn’t hearing any of that. All she’d wanted to know when she and Larry had arrived at the car dealership was how quickly they could prepare the paperwork in order for her to drive the Jeep off the lot the same day. Especially since Karen had already been driving hers for two weeks. Larry had kept reminding her that the only reason she wanted a Jeep was that Karen had one, although Regina would have rather died before admitting it.

“Why do you always have to keep up with everything John and Karen do. If Karen hadn’t wanted a Cherokee, the thought of buying one would have never even entered your mind, and you know it.”

But Regina insisted she had always had her heart set on buying one way before she’d even heard Karen mention anything about it. But Larry had known she was lying. And that was because she was.

Regina locked her doors with the black, keyless entry gadget hanging from her key ring, set the digital alarm system, and traveled across two aisles of the freshly blacktopped parking lot to where Karen was standing.

“Girl, you know if you hadn’t called me this morning, I was definitely calling you,” Regina said, smiling. “You’ve been missing these classes left and right.”

“Yeah, I know, but under the circumstances I haven’t had a mind to do anything. Not anything at all.”

Regina didn’t like the expression she saw on Karen’s face or the sadness in her voice. “What’s the matter, girl? You know I can always tell when something’s wrong.”

Karen tilted her head to the side as if to say
Guess,
and Regina knew immediately that John must have been out gambling again.

“What’s up with that? Have you tried to talk him into getting help or going to Gamblers Anonymous? I’ve heard that those support groups can really make a difference when someone has an addiction problem.”

Karen leaned against the Jeep and rested her backside on it. “Girl, I’ve tried everything, and all he does is say he’s not going to the horse track when he gets paid next week, but then needless to say, when next week comes, he ends up there anyway. I gave him a nice cussing out and a serious ultimatum last night, though, so I’m sure he’ll think twice before going to Arlington this coming Friday.”

“I sure hope so, because you know this can’t keep going on if you want to live the same lifestyle you’re living now. That is, in a comfortable fashion.”

Karen resented that last comment, because Regina was always spending over her budget for unnecessary items and then complaining about how difficult it was to make ends meet. As a matter of fact, she was starting to spend a nice chunk of money on those three-and four-digit lottery tickets herself. So, what did she know about being financially comfortable? Obviously, not one thing. Karen decided to ignore what Regina had said, though, because
if she didn’t, she might end up saying something she’d regret. It was better to just change the subject. “Where did you and Larry go last night?”

Regina glanced over in another direction, not wanting to let on that Larry had gone out without her again. She didn’t want Karen or anyone else to know that she suspected him of tipping out on her. At least not yet, but she went ahead and spilled her guts anyway. “Nothing really. Larry went with Ted to play cards, and I sat around microwaving some leftover Chinese food. That was about it.”

“Whoa. Larry went out without you on a Friday night again? That’s the third time, isn’t it? And even worse, I can’t believe you let him out,” Karen joked.

“Shut up, Karen. It was only a card game, and nothing to worry about,” Regina said and laughed, but she felt unsure of herself because, actually, she was worried. She wasn’t about to offer that small piece of information, though, because as usual, she didn’t want to reveal that she and Larry were starting to have problems. She wanted Karen to think they still had the perfect marriage. Regina and Karen were best friends, but something internally always seemed to make her feel like she was in some sort of competition with Karen. She didn’t know why and she could never put her finger on it, but that’s just the way it was—the way it had always been since they were small children growing up back at home.

Karen looked at her sports watch and noticed that it was eight forty-five. They only had fifteen minutes be
fore the start of class. “We had better get inside so we can get a spot somewhere in front. You know how I hate it when we get stuck in the back of the room.”

They walked through the tinted glass doors of Golf Road’s Health Club, up the stairs, into the aerobics room and then took a seat on the lightly waxed wooden floor in the front row as planned. Luther Vandross’s “Here and Now” from his
Songs
CD was playing. Karen started singing right along with him. She’d sworn that whenever she and John renewed their wedding vows, she was having someone sing that song while she walked down the church aisle.

“Girl, you know I love my Luther. The man can’t be touched, shit, not even slightly tapped when it comes to singing love songs,” Karen said.

They both laughed. “Girl, if Luther knew how much you loved his music, he’d probably fly in here and sing the song for you himself.”

Karen sang and swayed her head from side to side with her eyes closed, not paying much attention to what Regina had just said.

Regina smiled, then looked toward the entryway. “I wonder where Marilyn is.”

“Please. She’ll be here. You know Miss Thing never misses.”

“You are so crazy,” Regina said. “You’re just jealous because she works out so religiously and would still have a body like Halle Berry even if she didn’t.”

“You’re right, and it’s sickening too.”

They both laughed.

Actually, Karen had never cared for Marilyn because she’d always believed Marilyn was jealous of Regina. Always finding something to criticize her about: “You look like you’ve picked up a few pounds, girlfriend.” “It’s about time to get that hair cut, isn’t it?” “What do you guys need with a Mercedes, Lexus and a Jeep? All you have is a two-car garage.” Just the thought of Marilyn and her remarks made Karen cringe. She couldn’t stand the wench.

Regina turned toward the door again and said, “Speaking of the devil.” Marilyn walked in, and Regina motioned for her to come and sit with them. As if she’d sit anywhere else. For one, she and Regina were good friends and had been ever since they’d all enrolled at U of I twelve years ago. Secondly, there weren’t very many African-American women living in Schaumburg, and the ones who did reside there never seemed to frequent this particular health club anyway. Not long ago, Karen had tried to persuade one of the sisters at the bank to become a member, but she’d said that she already had a membership at the one in Elgin. For a split second, Karen had wondered why the sister would rather drive twenty minutes or more to Elgin when there was a club right here in the suburb where she lived, but when it dawned on her how many blacks lived out there, the reason was evident.

Marilyn dropped down on the rubber mat next to Regina. “Hey, Gina. Hey, Karen.”

“Hey, girl,” Regina said and crossed her legs.

“How’s it going?” Karen asked, trying to be cordial.

“With the exception of me running a little late, I’m fine.”

“We still have about ten minutes before the instructor starts the warm-up music, so you really haven’t missed anything,” Regina said.

Marilyn reached down to tie her Reeboks and then looked over at Regina’s. “It’s about time for some new Rees, don’t you think?”

That bitch. Karen wanted to knock Marilyn’s ass across that floor they were sitting on, but since that wasn’t her style, she decided against it. Hmmph.

“Girl, please,” Regina said, trying wholeheartedly to play the whole thing off. “These shoes are expensive, and I’m getting as much wear and tear out of them as I can.”

Marilyn looked at Regina with a catty expression and was preparing to make another snide remark when she glanced over and saw Karen staring at her like a dog anxiously awaiting his prey.

Regina noticed the same thing and hurried to change the subject. “So what’s up with the love life these days?” she asked Marilyn.

“Shit, I’m sick of men, period. Whenever the sex is great, the man is no earthly good, but when the man is sweet, considerate and successful, his dick is no bigger than a Popsicle stick. Either way, you can’t win.”

“You’re sick, girl,” Regina said and laughed.

Karen was still pissed off about that Reebok remark, but she couldn’t resist the urge to crack up at what Miss
Thing had just said, because those had been her thoughts exactly before she’d met John. During college, she’d dated this Wesley Snipes-looking guy named James and had gone out with him for a whole two months before even entertaining the idea of having sex with him. Then, one night after a sorority party and a few too many wine coolers, she’d let her hair down. Practically dragged him to her apartment—something she couldn’t have done if she and Regina had still been living in that all-girls dorm.

Karen had slipped off her dress and laid across the bed, while James had removed his jeans and sweatshirt. So far so good. Then brotherman pulled down his briefs. And that’s when the bombshell went off. She couldn’t believe it. Such a big personality, with all of two or three inches between his legs. She’d felt sorry for the poor man, but there was no way on earth he was depositing that little thing inside of her. Shoot, even banks had a minimum balance requirement for opening an account, and her guidelines were exactly the same.

“Don’t worry, Marilyn, you will find Mr. Right, get married, and live happily ever after,” Regina said.

“Married? Don’t count on it. As far as I’m concerned, all men are dogs and married ones are nothing more than dogs on a leash.”

Marilyn and Karen chuckled, but Regina didn’t see anything too funny, since she was afraid that Larry was starting to slip into that same category.

“I can’t believe you haven’t met a lot of brothers through work,” Regina said. “I mean, you’ve been working for that training firm for over two years now, and you’re down in the Loop all the time working with so many different companies.”

“I don’t know. You tell me what’s up,” Marilyn said. “Maybe I don’t look good enough for the brothers around here. Shit, something must be wrong.”

“Marilyn, please.” Regina didn’t know what Marilyn could possibly be talking about. She had everything going for her in the looks department. She was tall, and even though she was dark-skinned, she was beautiful. As a matter of fact, she and Karen were the two most beautiful dark-skinned sisters Regina knew. Not to mention the fact that all of Marilyn’s curves were in their right places. If there was a reason behind her not being able to find the right man, one thing was for sure, her looks had nothing to do with it.

Regina glanced up and saw Tina, their aerobics instructor, walking to the front. “We’d better stand up. I think Tina’s ready to start.”

Karen watched Tina take out the Luther CD, pop in one by Toni Braxton, and press the Program button on the CD player. “Love Should Have Brought You Home Last Night” started playing, which was too slow for an aerobic workout, but more than sufficient for their initial stretching exercises. This CD was every bit of three years old, but this white girl knew she had excellent taste when it came to R & B music. Never played anything else.
Probably had something to do with that brother she’d been dating for the last two years.

R
EGINA WAS A
million miles away, but she felt as though Toni was singing directly to her. Last night, Larry had phoned her from the car phone saying he and Ted were stopping at Studebakers for a quick drink, but then he hadn’t shown his face at home until after two-thirty. When he’d called, it had been eleven-thirty. It surely didn’t take three hours to have a quick drink, drop Ted off, and get his butt home. Studebakers, Ted’s bachelor pad, and Wesleyan Estates were all within a three-to four-mile radius of each other. He must have thought she was Boo Boo the Fool or something. She’d confronted him as soon as he’d taken off his clothes and gotten into bed, but all he’d kept saying was how he didn’t know where the time had gone, and he’d even seemed a little perturbed at the fact that she was questioning him about it.

“Look, Regina. I’m tired, and I don’t feel like going through this shit all over again. I just told you not more than two seconds ago that I lost track of time. What else do you want me to say?”

“How could you lose track of time for three whole hours?” she had asked him. “Something’s not right with this, and I want to know what’s really going on here.”

“You’re just paranoid. You’ve been paranoid and unsure of yourself ever since the day I met you, and I’m sick
of you taking it out on me. There’s nothing going on, and you know it.”

“No, I don’t know anything. But what I do know is that you’re starting to go out without me on a regular basis, and whenever a man starts doing that, something is usually going on.”

“Look, damn it. I know where this is headed, and I’m telling you, I don’t want to hear it. I’m sick of all this nagging. Why don’t you turn over and go to sleep,” Larry had said, raising his voice.