Behind His Eyes - Consequences (20 page)

“Claire, the other night you asked me if I cared about you. Honestly—with our initial arrangement—I never intended to, but without a doubt, I do.” Tony looked down and took a deep breath. Resuming their eye contact, he asked, “Do you care about me? Do you enjoy being with me?”

He loved her smile and the way she never took her eyes off of him. “Tony, I do care about you. I want you to be happy, and I would do anything to help that happen, and on a night like tonight, or even a quiet night at home, I enjoy being with you,” her eyes glistened in the cold air with the twinkling reflection of the lights from the trees, “more than enjoy; however,” her eyes fluttered, “honestly, there are times I don’t. There are times I want you away from me, or vice versa.” Although her honesty may have been difficult to voice, she did just as he’d taught her and never looked away.

Tony smiled and leaned closer. He needed to kiss her. All he could think about was the taste of her lips. When he pulled away, he held nothing back, wanting her to know that not only did he expect honesty, he craved it. There were too many people in his life who were
yes men,
yet this woman who’d seen the absolute worst in him, could look him in the eye and be totally honest. “You’re the most amazing woman. I have vice presidents, presidents, and chairmen of boards who’ve never experienced me as you have. None of them would have the courage to answer that question as honestly as you just did. It’s your strength and determination that have infuriated me. That strength and resilience have also made me fall in love with you. Claire, I experienced life without you—after your accident.”

He’d made his decision. Dr. Leonard wasn’t the ultimate test: this was. She could walk away—he’d try to allow it. He would try, if that’s what she wanted, but he had to know. He had to present the option.

He continued, “I don’t want to be without you again, but I want you to make your own decision. Tonight, I’d like to present you with two options: your freedom—you may leave tonight and your debt is paid, or,” he removed the ring he’d bought from his jacket pocket, “you could agree to marry me and spend the rest of your life with me, not out of obligation or contractual agreement, but because you want to be with me.”

Perhaps Claire would think that his shaking was due to the cold. He waited. When she didn’t reply, he said, “You told me yesterday no more black boxes, so I took it out of its box.” He grinned. “Could we see if it fits?”

Claire nodded and extended her left hand, covered by a large mitten.

Tony smiled as he removed the fuzzy mitten and placed the ring on her fourth finger. “It seems to fit.” Tony looked into her emerald eyes. “The question still seems to be unanswered. Do you want to keep it on and stay with me? Will you please be Claire Rawlings?”

“I-I’m so surprised,” she stuttered, “ar-are you seriously asking
me
to marry
you
?”

He grinned and bowed his nose to hers. “Yes, my dear. This entire night has been leading to this proposal. I’ve watched you with me in private, in public, and with my closest friends. I want you there always. I love you.”

“Please,” she implored, “please, let me think. I promise you an answer soon.”

He did what she asked. It wasn’t often that Claire asked anything of him, and now she wanted time to think. As the carriage moved slowly around the frost-dusted park, Tony wondered how much time she wanted. Each moment made him more anxious. Maybe he hadn’t thought this through enough.
What if she chose freedom?
Could he do what he’d said? Could he give it to her?
As the panic continued to build a defensive wall, her beautiful voice broke through—shattering his doubts and calming his anxiety.

“God help me, yes—Tony, I’ll marry you.” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her tenderly. When their lips separated, Claire confessed, “I love you too.”

Relief like he’d never known filled his chest. Despite the frigid temperatures, he was warm and satisfied. Her confession of love was the most wonderful thing he’d ever heard.

The next morning, Tony slipped from their bed and made his way down to his office. He didn’t care that it was Thanksgiving morning. He had a wedding to plan, and he wanted it done—now. Glancing at the clock, 7:03 AM, he knew who he needed to call first.

He’d discussed his plans with Catherine, and since Claire’s conversation with Dr. Leonard, Catherine’s opinion of Claire, too, had softened. She even told Tony more than once that she thought Claire was
good for him
. Funny, that was also what Courtney had said. It was more than that. Catherine spent hours and hours working with Claire and helping her recover from her accident. Tony suspected that it reminded Catherine of her own accident years ago. She knew firsthand the difficult path Claire endured, both mentally and physically. She understood it in a way Tony never would. That common experience created a bond between the two women. Of course, Catherine never admitted that, but she did say that when Tony was with Claire, especially during her recovery, Catherine saw Nathaniel in him. Although, Tony hadn’t witnessed Nathaniel and Marie’s interaction during that time, he knew a compliment when he heard one.

Despite all of that, Tony wasn’t sure how Catherine honestly felt about the marriage thing. He squared his shoulders and hit
CALL
. Catherine answered on the second ring. “Yes?”

“Good morning, Marie.”

“Anton … you have heard of holidays, haven’t you?”

“I thought you would want to be the first to hear my news—
our
news.”

Catherine gasped. “You did it, didn’t you? You asked her and she said yes?”

“Yes, and she’s very anxious for your reaction.”

“You actually
asked
her?” She emphasized the word.

“Yes—I
asked
her.”

“And she said yes?”

Tony grinned into his phone. “Should I be offended that you find this so difficult to believe?”

“No, you shouldn’t. I’m just—just—pleased. I think you’re right. The situation couldn’t go on the way it was much longer. This makes perfect sense. Besides, I can tell … it’s what you want.”

“I do,” Tony agreed.

“Did you offer her an alternative?”

“Her freedom.”

“Oh, Anton, what if she’d gone that way?”

“She didn’t.”

Catherine’s tone hardened. “Tell me how this changes things.”

“It doesn’t. Like you just said, it’s a continuation.”

“She’ll have your name. Things will change.”

Although his office door was closed, Tony lowered his voice. “She’ll share the name
Rawlings
. You know as well as I, that she’ll never be able to share
my
name and we both know why.”

“Do you? Do you remember? It’s important that you remember.”

“Marie, how could I forget? I remember as well as you.”

“Are you
in love
with her?”

Tony hesitated. “I believe I am.”

“And you don’t believe that changes anything.”

“Maybe it does,” Tony conceded. “Maybe it changes her role, but it doesn’t change her debt. Now it has become a debt that she’ll pay forever. That’s the way this works, right?
Forever
—until death do us part?”

“No, Anton, it goes beyond that. I can promise you that.”

He sat taller. “It may not have been the original plan, but once she says
I do
, there’ll be one less Nichols.”

“You believe that, don’t you?”

“Don’t you?” Tony asked. “Tell me that we haven’t changed her and made her into a Rawlings.”

“She has changed. I see that.” Catherine conceded.

“I’ve helped you and you’ve helped me. Can I continue to count on your assistance?”

Catherine’s tone softened. “Yes, of course, Anton. Nathaniel intended for us to work together. I won’t be the one to disappoint him.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Neither will I.”

In a professional tone, Catherine replied, “Mr. Rawlings, please tell the future Mrs. Rawlings that I’m very happy for both of you.”

Tony smiled. “I’ll do that. Marie?”

“Yes?”

“This has worked out much better than I ever imagined, and I know it wouldn’t have without you.”

“Anton, I agree with everything, but please don’t forget the big picture.”

“I’ve told you that I’m in control, and we’ve seen that over and over—with Dr. Leonard and with my proposal. Now the whole world will know that she belongs to me—it won’t be a clandestine arrangement.”

“The whole world?” Catherine asked. “Is that referring to the emails you’ve been receiving from Emily Vandersol?”

Tony grinned. “As a matter of fact—yes. The Vandersols will be joining us for Thanksgiving dinner. Soon, they’ll learn that Claire belongs to me. Her interaction with them will be at my discretion.”

“Oh!” Catherine exclaimed. “How I wish I were a fly on the wall.”

“My dear Marie, technology is a wonderful thing. Help yourself.”

“Thank you, Mr. Rawlings, I believe I will. I’ll also show the future Mrs. Rawlings my extreme pleasure upon your return.”

Tony smirked. “That’ll be interesting to witness. We’ll be returning on Saturday. I’ll let you know when I know more about the wedding.”

“You know me—always at your service,” she quipped.

Tony grinned as he hit
DISCONNECT
.

After some coffee and a light breakfast, Tony made the rest of his calls, and within a few hours, he had the whole wedding thing underway. The next hurdle was quickly approaching. Within a matter of hours he’d have the opportunity to meet his future in-laws face-to-face. They weren’t exactly strangers. He knew everything about them and had even been at their wedding. Tony smirked; now, they’d be coming to his. Sometimes he marveled at how strangely things come full circle. That wasn’t really true. He’d know that they were at his wedding; they’d had no idea.

With a few hours before his surprise guests arrived, Tony decided to go upstairs. He wanted to visit his fiancée, tell her about their wedding plans, and enjoy what was his for the taking. Besides, with their impending visitors, it was never too early to remind the future Mrs. Rawlings that her change of name would not mean a change in his rules.

Everyone has to make their own decisions. You just have to be able to accept the consequences without complaining.

—Grace Jones

Risk versus Failure in the World of Business
—that was the title they’d given him. Tony wondered sometimes how they came up with this crap! Three years ago the bottom fell out of the damn economy and he’d survived. It seemed as though some of these symposiums and seminars were trying to tell the up-and-coming entrepreneurs that the failure was the fault of business. That wasn’t entirely true, but voicing his true feelings wouldn’t win him any supporters in the necessary arenas. So, every now and then, he’d concede to play their game and talk their talk.

Inspirational—
that was what the planners called him, as they crooned, gushed, and requested his presence at their seminar. Shelly received invitations like this all of the time. More often than not, she turned them down. After all, Tony was a busy man; however, every now and then, she’d ask him to consider attending. She’d remind him that he needed to do the occasional public-relations outreach. It not only kept his name on the tips of people’s tongues, sometimes he found talent along the way.

As he delivered the keynote address, Tony talked about recognizing and weighing risks. He discussed the importance of knowing your opponents and competitors, as well as your customers and investors—he admonished the audience to be informed. Don’t be blindsided—be prepared. The people in the crowd hung on his every word. After all, he was Anthony Rawlings.

The act of delivering the occasional speech wasn’t new; he’d been doing it forever. The newness came in that he didn’t mind doing it as much as he once had. Looking to his left and seeing the emerald gaze, his business smile morphed into a genuine grin. The way Mrs. Rawlings watched and listened to his every word fulfilled an emptiness that he never knew existed. Many of the magazines and tabloids referred to Claire as nothing more than an ornament to adorn Tony’s arm. That wasn’t true. She was so much more.

Without a doubt, she was much smarter than the press gave her credit. It wasn’t just her education—she was also a quick learner; however, when it came to her degree, Tony was thankful that Claire never mentioned pursuing meteorology. Other than a night a long, long time ago, in a bar, in a faraway land, the subject never came up. As a rule, Tony enjoyed fulfilling Claire’s requests. He liked the entire process. He liked being asked and watching her techniques of persuasion. Most of the time, he enjoyed granting her desires; however, if she’d asked to return to the world of weather, he’d have denied it, without thinking twice. Since last December, Claire’s full-time job was him. She was his wife—Mrs. Anthony Rawlings—and as such had no time for other endeavors. When he allowed her to enter the spotlight as his fiancée and wife, Tony hadn’t realized the many roles she’d be required to perform. He didn’t manufacture the responsibilities—they just were. With each new task, Claire succeeded. Whether it was charity work, hosting a party, or being at his side, he was constantly awed by her perfection. Perhaps he shouldn’t have been. After all, as a Rawlings, nothing less would be acceptable. Public failure could not be tolerated. She handled her responsibilities well.