Behind the Stars (11 page)

“There’s quiet beauty in the desert.”

They didn’t speak, and I heard movements. I was just about to peek around when suddenly he spoke in a pleading voice. “Let me go back, Cato. I don’t want to be here.”

She let out a sigh. “No.”

He made a frustrated growl that was followed a loud
Bang!
I must’ve jumped two inches. A few of the cows bellowed. I leaned forward on shaky legs to see what had happened. Gallatin had his back to her. His hands clutched the top of a stall, and it looked like he’d kicked a hole in the bottom of it. I jerked back.

“You’re going to repair that.” Her voice was calm, undisturbed.

He didn’t answer, and for a moment, I didn’t know what would happen. I heard movement and peeked again to see her going to him and putting her hand on his shoulder. She rubbed it back and forth until finally he softened.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I think that board was rotten.”

“Hm. Perhaps we don’t know our own strength these days.”

“I know I’m strong enough to protect myself. Let him try another cowardly strike like before and see what happens.”

“Gallatin,” she sighed. “You’re old enough to be more cooperative.”

“I’m old enough to be where I want.”

I jumped back behind the door when she turned away from him, facing my direction. Her arms were crossed over her stomach, and I saw her eyes were closed like she was having a painful memory.

“I’ll never forget what happened. How you looked when I finally reached you, Sontag... I can’t sleep not knowing you’re safe, and I could never get to you in time if something happened again.”

I heard him move, and I could only imagine he was going to her. His voice sounded less angry when he spoke.

“How much longer must we stay here?”

“Not much. Why don’t you talk to your grandfather again? That always cheers you.” I heard a smile in her warm tone.

“Yes. I could try that.”

“You know, I was hoping you might consider being my guard. When the time comes.”

“I would be honored to protect you, my lady.”

She laughed, and I couldn’t help admitting it was a sweet sound. “Well, that won’t be for a while. For now I’m still Cato, and you’re still my little brother.”

He exhaled, and she continued. “And tonight I’m ordering you to take a break. I’ll take your shift here. You go rest or better still, I know Shubuta wants to discuss other options for if we’re detained longer than was planned.”

“Shubuta.”

“She often comments about you. She seems to enjoy your sense of humor.”

“She’s old enough to be my mother.”

“Mother was quite a bit older when she had you.”

“I have no interest in Shubuta.”

“Then do what you like. But Gallatin.” Her voice was serious now. “Do not let me hear you’ve been in the woods again. It isn’t safe.”

My heart jumped. I had to learn more about that. What was going on in the woods and why wasn’t it safe?

“Imprisonment,” he grumbled.

“Thank you.”

I listened as he left the barn and then waited a few moments before creeping back and then reentering as if I were just getting there. Cato smiled and nodded when she saw me approaching. She wore the same gray coveralls as me tonight, but her white-blonde hair was smoothed back in its usual twist. After overhearing their conversation, I was sure now she was a princess or something. She definitely looked the part with her long slim neck and regal features.

Her eyes appeared almost white from a distance, but now that we were close, I could see they were very clear blue like two drops of water. She was beautiful, and she and her brother couldn’t look more dissimilar. Where he was fiery and unsettling, she was cool and soothing. But I’d also learned they had different fathers.

“I’m here to help you,” she said, with an odd sense of anticipation in her voice, like milking cows was a special treat.

I nodded. “Thanks, I guess.”

She surprised me with a little laugh. “You guess? So you’re like the others? You think I shouldn’t be in a barn working?”

“I don’t think anything, ma’am.”

She pressed her lips together and studied me. “How were you able to work with a livestock vet? Being so small, I mean.”

She’d been observing me since our first day in the field, but I couldn’t begin to guess why. And since Yolanda’d told me the story of what happened to Russell, I’d been more careful than ever against any slip-ups about Jackson’s being out there or my plans to find him. I certainly wasn’t going to tell her I’d started working with Dr. Green because Jackson’d dared me to do it.

“I needed the money, and it was the best paying job I could find,” I said.

That answer at least had a grain of truth in it.

“I’m surprised he didn’t question your ability.” She picked up a bucket and handed it to me.

I walked over to the larger cow Yolanda had worked earlier, sat down, and stroked her udders. I hoped the milk would come down quickly so we could hurry up and finish. She wasn’t the one I’d planned to talk to, and I wasn’t good with fast changes.

“He made me do a test run,” I said. “Then he let me help him.”

“What was your test?” She watched me working the cow.

I wondered why she was being so friendly, or if I should tell her the extent of my knowledge. I figured I’d be using it before long anyway, so I let my guard down a little.

“I had to prove I wasn’t afraid to examine a pregnant cow.”

Her pale brows pulled together. “How does that prove anything?”

“Well, most people don’t take to reaching inside a cow’s butt.”

The princess or whatever she was froze like I’d squirted fresh milk in her face. Her jaw dropped, but she closed it just as fast. Then her gaze turned to the large animal before her.

“You reached inside... But why? Why not perform a blood test?”

“Blood tests are expensive and they take too long. Besides, farmers’ve been sticking their arms up cows’ backsides since, well, since as long as I’ve known about it.”

She stared back at me as if I’d sprouted a second head.

“Anyway, palpation is really better than blood tests,” I continued without breaking my milking rhythm. “It’s easy once you get the hang of it. The organs are all right there together, and anyone, regardless of size, can palpate a dairy cow.”

My voice sounded like the old doctor’s as I supplied that extra bit of knowledge, and I had to swallow the tightness in my throat. Dr. Green had always treated our times together like he was a professor, and I was his veterinary student in training. Now I didn’t even know where he was.

Cato didn’t speak. Instead she pulled out a stool and began poking at her cow’s udders. I’d just finished up, and I sat watching as she leaned forward and grabbed a teat. Then she started squeezing it like it was a water balloon.

“You’re not going to get a thing that way,” I said, standing and going to her. “Here.”

I put my hand over hers. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but her hands were warm just like mine. Seeing both our hands together, I couldn’t tell that she was in any way different from me, that she was a non-human or whatever.

“Feel the movement?” I asked.

She studied my method and soon her cow was letting down.

“I’m doing it!”

I straightened up and backed away letting her take over. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to respond to this display of pride, but it looked definitely human to me. Aliens, my butt. It was very much like her reunion with her brother, and the conversation I’d just overheard. I was anxious to get back to my bunk and replay that one in my mind. What was he doing in the woods? And why was he in the desert? Whatever the reason, he sure wanted to go back there.

“I’ll get to work on the other one,” I said.

“Wait,” she called. “Do you mind if I call you Prentiss?”

I glanced back and shook my head.

“Thank you, Prentiss. You’re not like the others. I appreciate your teaching me and letting me help you.”

What was I supposed to say to
that
? I didn’t ask to be here, and I was pretty sure I didn’t have a choice when it came to what I was going to do or what she as going to do. Still, she sat there looking at me with those raindrop-blue eyes as if I’d just given her some precious gift. The gift of working like a farm hand.

I nodded and quietly milked the third cow. Then I joined her at the second churn.

“I’ll take care of the rest,” she said. “You can return to your quarters and prepare for sleep.”

“Thanks,” I said, handing her my bucket.

How much longer would this go on? And why was she acting like she was just as stuck as I was? None of it made sense. I had to get answers.

––––––––

T
he next day we got a holiday. I didn’t know if it was Sunday or how many days had passed since I’d opened my eyes in this place, but it felt like maybe ten. The alarms didn’t sound to wake us, and at what felt like nine, a voice came across the tinny amplifier letting us know we would be eating as a group today, after which we would be allowed free time.

I sat up and pulled on my coveralls, and as I did, I noticed my brother still on his cot in the back corner staring at the floor in the same vacant way as Flora had done in the cafeteria. I felt a pang of guilt. I’d been avoiding him more and more, but whether I wanted to hear what he said or not, he was still my brother. I couldn’t let him go down without a fight.

“How you doing?” I asked once we’d taken a seat in the yard after breakfast.

He shook his head and looked down. I pulled a long stalk of grass and began chewing the end of it. My afternoon time was cut short now because of the extra milking I had to do. Cows didn’t stop making milk just because humans got a break.

“You seem a little different today,” I said. “Feeling all right?”

His dark eyes moved to the toes of his boots then out in front of him, to the tree before us, to the branches and limbs, and finally to the sky overhead.

“It’s all vanity. Just like the preacher said.”

My brow wrinkled. Braxton was prone to launch into Bible quoting at any given moment, and I recognized this one from Ecclesiastes.

“You know, I always thought that guy was just depressed,” I said. “And maybe a little crazy. Didn’t he have like a thousand wives?”

Braxton sighed and returned his gaze to his lap. “You did listen every once in a while.”

“Oh, I always listened. I just didn’t always agree with what I heard.”

“None of it matters now. It’s all meaningless just like that king said. Wicked or just, foolish or wise, we all suffer the same fate.”

I took the grass from my mouth and held it in my lap a moment. “Why are you having these thoughts now?”

He took a deep breath and pulled his knees up, placing his forehead on the back of his hands.

“I dedicated my life to God and to preaching. Everybody said I was crazy laying hands on sick people and talking in tongues.”

I nodded. I was one of those.

“Now I see they were right. It was crazy. All that stuff I was doing was meaningless, and there is no God.”

I squinted over at him. “That’s kind of a big leap you’re making there. And isn’t that what the fool’s supposed to have said?”

His head snapped up. “Don’t you get it? There is no fool! There is no God! It’s all a lie. All those people were right. They just didn’t know why they were right.”

I was almost afraid to ask. “So why were they right?”

“Because we’ve been invaded by aliens, Prentiss. Aliens. If there’s aliens coming here, that means science wins. The Bible’s a myth, and all those stories we believed were just that. Stories. There was no flood, there was no parting of the Red Sea, there was no ‘In the beginning.’ Everything we’ve been taught is a lie.”

I pulled my knees up and clasped my hands on top of them. Then I took a deep breath and rested my chin on them. This wasn’t my area of expertise, and the last thing I knew how to do was counsel my holy-roller brother who was now having a crisis of faith. I didn’t know what to say, but somehow, deep inside, his words rang false to me. I looked up and saw someone signaling to me from the barn door.

“I got to go milk,” I said, standing and dusting off my bottom. “But I think you’re wrong, brother. I mean, not that I’m believing this alien crap. But say there were aliens. Just for a minute. That doesn’t automatically mean there’s no God.”

“Then where’s heaven?”

Standing in front of him looking down, I rubbed my stomach. I’d never really spent a lot of time thinking about stuff like this, and I wasn’t too comfortable starting to think about it now. It was easier for me to believe the Bible stories, look at the picture of that placid, blond Jesus on the Sunday school wall, and say my prayers. Done.

“I don’t know,” I said. “But I never did think it was out in space. I thought it was a place you went in your spirit. And isn’t your spirit invisible?”

He put his forehead back on his knees. “It’s all vanity. Meaningless and chasing after the wind.”

The person at the barn signaled again, and I knew I had to end this scriptural debate, or whatever we were having.

“Just stop thinking about everything so hard,” I said. “You always think about stuff too much. That’s what drives you crazy. Find something else to do.”

My words felt harsh to me as I said them, especially with him sitting there under the tree, his head on his knees. But I didn’t know what else to say. Braxton was older than me by five years, and he’d spent way more time studying the Bible and arguing with folks about it than I had. I wasn’t smart that way. I was better at explaining things I could see and feel. Like wire fences and electrified chips and escape plans.

* * *

G
allatin was already positioned in front of a cow when I reached the barn. On my way to the storage closet, I noticed the hole he’d kicked last night now had a fresh, new board nailed over it. I grabbed another bucket and stool, thinking how I had to make friends, get to know him better. Now that we were here together in the quiet barn, after that weird conversation with my brother and his conversation with his sister, I couldn’t think of how to begin.