Behind the Tears (Behind the Lives) (21 page)

He slipped into the front passenger seat and clicked on his seatbelt. “What happened to your car?”

She shut her door. “Sledge is borrowing it, cos...” She bit her lip, looking like she was about to cry. “It isn’t my fault, it’s Corey’s, but Sledge looked at me like I caused the problem. He always blames me for everything.”

“What happened?”

She brought a hand to her face.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” he said, pushing her hair back.

“Corey called out Sledge’s name while we were having sex, and Sledge found out.”

Ash almost choked.

“It’s not funny!”

“I didn’t laugh, you just took me by surprise.” He leaned over and hugged her. “And those arseholes aren’t worth gettin’ upset over.”

Juliet rested her head against him. “I can’t help it; I’ve made a right mess of things. I told Sledge what happened, and cos of it he beat up Corey’s new boyfriend. Corey ended up gettin’ hurt tryna stop him.”

“That’s not your fault, that’s Sledge’s and Corey’s. But still, why the hell didja go after Corey for?”

“I didn’t, he came onto me.”

Ash let go of her and shook his head. “The bloody user. He obviously asked you cos he didn’t think he could get Sledge that way.”

“But, I don’t get it, he doesn’t look gay.”

“He does to me. That kid follows Sledge round like a lap dog with his tongue hanging out and drool dripping offa it.”

“Then, why didn’t cha tell me?”

“I didn’t know you were interested in him, you never said.”

“You still could’ve told Sledge, you’re the only one who wouldn’t have gotten hit for it.”

“It’s none of my biz, plus Sledge is just as much hung up on that twat as Corey is on him.”

Juliet pulled a face. “Whatcha talking ’bout? Sledge isn’t gay. God, he’s a homophobic bastard. I just told you he gay-bashed Corey’s boyfriend.”

“Did Sledge hit Corey?”

“No.”

“Then you’ve just proved my point. Sledge is jealous, cos he wants Corey.”

“He does not, Sledge is the opposite of gay; he bones any girl who shows interest in him.”

“He could be bi or pansexual.”

“Pan what?

“It’s to do with being attracted to someone, not their gender.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“Yes, it does.”

“Well, I don’t believe it. Sledge wouldn’t do Corey, gays disgust him.”

“Then why didn’t he bash Corey as well as that other guy?”

“Cos Corey’s got cancer.”

“Nah, it’s got nuthin’ to do with Corey being sick. Sledge is definitely jealous, and just cos he likes females doesn’t mean he won’t go with Corey. And you can’t always tell whether someone is gay by their looks. I’ve met the most violent thugs who don’t look gay at all, yet they still prefer guys. People get caught up in this stereotype where gays must act and look a certain way, which is a load of bullshit.”

Juliet’s voice softened. “Is this ’bout Chaz?”

“It’s got nuthin’ to do with that perverted freak, you can’t even class him in the same category. He’s not gay or bi, he’s a rapist. I don’t think gender comes into play with rapists, they’re sickos who get off on ruining peoples’ lives.” He stopped, his mind finally processing what she’d said—and what he’d let slip. “You know what he did to me?”

She nodded. “I still can’t believe he raped you.”

He dropped his gaze.

“I wish you’d told me ‘bout what really happened,” she said.

“I don’t like talking ’bout it,” Ash mumbled. “And Sledge should’ve kept his big mouth shut; it’s my biz, no one else’s.”

“He didn’t tell me, Chaz’s brother did.”

Ash looked up. “Who?”

“His brother wuz one of the prisoners at the hospital. He also told us ’bout how Chaz had the same thing done to him as a kid by their uncle, which makes sense, cos I guess people who’ve been abused end up abusing others.”

“I would never do that.”

“Oh God, I’m sorry, Ash, I didn’t mean you, of course not everyone would do that.”

He glanced out the window at the hospital, the same place he’d been brought to after he’d been raped. He couldn’t comprehend how someone who’s been abused could do it to someone else, because they knew how it felt. “Is Chaz’s brother still in hospital?” he asked. He wouldn’t hurt him; he only wanted to talk to the man. He wasn’t sure why, he just did.

“No, he got sent back to prison earlier today.” She started sniffing. “I still can’t believe he’s related to Chaz. I’ve always liked Tama’s stepdad.”

Ash’s head snapped around. “What?”

“Tama’s stepdad is Chaz’s brother. I only found out yesterday.”

“You’re pulling my leg?”

“No, I wish I wuz, and I wish yesterday never happened.” She started crying again. “Cos that would mean Tama wouldn’t be dead.”

“Shit, you’re hitting me with one thing after another. How’d he die?”

“In the prison riot.”

“Well, at least sumpthin’ good came outta that. And you shouldn’t be crying over that rapist scum. It’s just a shame Chaz didn’t get taken out at the same time.”

She hit Ash’s leg. “Don’t say that! I like Tama.”

“Christ, Juliet, how can you like him after what he did?”

“He didn’t rape that woman.”

“Yes, he did. I’ve seen Jess and she’s shattered. I know what that feels and looks like. And you and Sledge are deluding yourselves if you choose to believe Tama’s lies.”

“He didn’t lie.”

“He did! And I don’t understand how you can’t see that. If Tama can almost kill two people, why is it such a big leap that he could commit rape?”

She scrunched up her face and shook her head.

Ash exhaled. She damn well knew it was true, he could see it clear as day. “You just don’t wanna admit what he did cos you still have a crush on him. Well, get over it, Juliet, cos we fall for the wrong people all the time, and just cos you like someone it shouldn’t blind you to what they are. I made the mistake of liking and trusting Chaz, and look what happened. You’re too sweet, Juliet, you want to see the good in people so you glaze over all the bad they do. Tama wuz a sick bastard, so don’t you dare mourn him.”

She wiped her cheeks. “I can’t help it.”

“Then visit his victims, cos you won’t mourn the scum after that.”

“No, I don’t wanna go anywhere near them.”

“Stop being ignorant, Juliet.”

“Don’t insult me.”

“But you are, and I don’t want cha gettin’ hurt, you’re too precious to me.”

Her angry expression wavered on his last words. “You still make me mad.”

A sad smile played across his lips. “What? Is my insanity catching?”

“Don’t say that, you’re not insane.”

“I feel like it sometimes.”

“Well, you’re not.”

He shrugged. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t, he didn’t know. His phone started ringing in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at the number. He swore under his breath then answered it, readying himself for an attack.

Deano Jones’s gruff voice came over the line. “My wife better not be at your house or I’ll rip Dante’s head off!”

“He’s not interested in your woman, he’s fuckin’ my one.”

The line went quiet for a moment, then a loud bark of laughter travelled over it. “That made my day.” Deano’s laughter continued, punctuated by snorts.

“Shut the fuck up, you cunt!”

The laughing stopped. “What the fuck didja you just call me?”

“A cunt, like your fat bastard of a cousin. He knocked me out yesterday.”

“You’re responsible for his room?!”

“No, your wife is.”

“Bullshit! Tell me what you did to him or I’m gonna wipe out your whole family!”

“You keep away from them! I didn’t cause this shit, Len did. He wuz bashing Carly so she shot him.”

“How the fuck can she do that without a bloody gun?”

“I tried to stop Len, but he knocked me out. When I came too, Carly told me she took my gun—” He moved the phone away from his ear, then put it back. “He ain’t dead, she only got him in the arm and shoulder.”

“Only?!” Deano yelled. “He can still bleed to death!”

“Craven’s men are looking after him, so stop bloody yelling at me.”

“Why did he attack her?”

“She wouldn’t leave me alone cos she thought I wuz Dante. She reeked of meth.”

Deano grunted, his breathing still sounding like a bull ready to attack. “Dammit, I told Len he could reel her in if she overstepped the mark, but not to go whole hog on her.”

“Which means he’s pro’bly avoiding you on purpose.”

“The bastard still could’ve told his daughter what wuz happening. She was in tears after seeing his room.”

Poor kid having a father like that, Ash thought. He hoped people didn’t view him in the same way as he did with Len. “Is that enough from me?”

“For now, but if I find out you’re lying, expect a visit.” Deano hung up.

Ash clicked off the phone. “Bastard.”

“Who wuz that?” Juliet asked.

“Deano Jones.”

She pulled a face. “I don’t understand why you’re still delivering to the Joneses.”

“I don’t have a choice; they’re also under Craven’s hand.”

“Still, you should report them to the police after what they did to you.”

“Nah, it’ll only make things worse involving those blue bastards, and the boss’s men will make sure Len and Deano stick to the status quo. Anyway, enough of them, I wanna go visit my li’l boy.”

***

Ash knocked on Tiana’s door, still surprised that she’d visited him in hospital, and even more at the invitation to come see Angelo. He didn’t know what to make of that, because she usually tried her best to keep him away from their son.

He knocked again, hoping she hadn’t changed her mind—like all the other times, leaving him banging on the door like an idiot while she was someplace else. Christ! Please, someone—anyone, answer the fucking door. He started pounding it harder, ignoring Juliet as she told him to be patient. He’d been far too patient already, not something he was willing to do anymore. He exhaled when he heard approaching footsteps. The lock scraped open, then the door flung inwards to reveal Angelo.

Smiling wide, Ash bobbed down and held open his arms. “
Kia Ora
, Son,” he said, using the Māori greeting for hello.

“Dad!” Angelo bowled into him, almost knocking him into Juliet.

Ash righted himself then picked up Angelo, giving him a little shake he was so happy. His gaze moved down the passage as Tiana appeared. She leaned against the wall, watching them, her expression unreadable. Feeling self-conscious, Ash put Angelo down. It felt almost like she was waiting for him to make a mistake, so she could have an excuse for him not to see Angelo again. Maybe that was why she’d invited him. No, he needed to stop being paranoid and enjoy the visit. He was here to play with Angelo, not to lose his cool over Tiana.

Angelo grabbed his hand. “Come see my room, Dad.”

Ash nodded a hello at Tiana as he was tugged into Angelo’s bedroom. Like SpongeBob, the walls were yellow with posters of the characters from the program along with a few pictures of teenage girls tacked up on the wall.

Ash pointed at the pictures. “Last time I saw you, you hated girls.”

“He loves Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato,” Tiana said.

Ash stared at her blankly, because he had no idea who they were.

“They’re actresses as well as singers,” she added.

“I love Selena the best,” Angelo said, grinning wide, and reminding Ash of how Dante used to look at the same age, his brother’s interest in girls also starting early. God, his li’l boy was growing up far too fast. Although Angelo’s room was a picture of innocence now, Ash knew within a few years it would look a lot different. And that scared him. He wished he could freeze this moment in time before everything changed, and before he lost his sweet little boy completely.

Angelo picked up a rugby ball and threw it at Ash, cutting off his line of thought.

“No throwing balls in the house, Angelo,” Tiana said.

Ash indicated with his head for Angelo to follow him. He took off past Tiana and Juliet, heading through the house with Angelo racing after him. Ash cut through the sunroom, jumped down the back stairs and ran across the backyard, yelling at Angelo to catch him. He dodged his son easily, laughing as Angelo stopped and stomped his foot on the ground. Ash held the ball out, then whipped it back when Angelo went to take it. Grinning, he held it out again, this time letting Angelo have it before his son threw a major tantrum. Angelo ran off with the ball, heading for the long clothesline.

“You’re too fast for me, son,” Ash said, pretending he couldn’t catch him.

“Slow coach, slow coach—” Angelo squealed as Ash ran at him again. “No!”

Ash grabbed him and lifted him over his shoulder, spinning him in a circle. Angelo squealed louder, the ball flying out of his hands. Ash put him down, watching as Angelo picked up the ball and flung himself under the clothesline, like he was making a try.