Being a Teen

Authors: Jane Fonda

BOOK: Being a Teen

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As you read through (or dip into) the pages that follow, please remember that no book can replace the diagnostic expertise and medical advice of a trusted physician. It is extremely important to consult with your doctor before making medical decisions, particularly if you are or think you may be pregnant, if you are experiencing pain or other symptoms of illness, or if you have ever been diagnosed with a medical condition that requires ongoing care.

In putting this book together, I have included some references to resources (including online resources) that I hope may be of help to teenage readers and their families. As of press time, the URLs displayed in this book link or refer to existing websites on the Internet, but of course Web addresses do change over time. Unfortunately, I cannot guarantee that any given resource will be useful or appropriate to you, and neither I nor my publisher should be understood to endorse the content of any third-party website or recommend the services of any particular provider. These references are intended for your information and to encourage you to begin your own search for resources that work for you.

A Random House Trade Paperback Original

Published in the United States by Random House Trade Paperbacks, an imprint of Random House, a division of Random House LLC, a Penguin Random House Company, New York.

RANDOM HOUSE and the HOUSE colophon are registered trademarks of Random House LLC.

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA
Fonda, Jane
Being a teen : everything teen girls & boys should know about relationships, sex, love, health, identity & more / by Jane Fonda.
pages cm
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-0-8129-7861-2
eBook ISBN 978-0-8129-9604-3
1. Teenage pregnancy. 2. Teenagers—Sexual behavior. 3. Sex instruction for teenagers. 4. Teenagers—Health and hygiene. I. Title.
RG556.5.F66 2014 618.200835—dc23 2013016042

Book design by Diane Hobbing

v3.1

Author’s Preface

A Word About This Book

For about seventeen years I’ve been working with teens around issues of sexuality, self-esteem, and relationships. I have a passion for this work, partly because when I was a teen I was very confused about all of this and didn’t know where to go for answers. I also know it can be hard for adults and teens to talk about some of these important subjects. I’ve seen the bad things that can happen to a person—physically and emotionally—when he or she is not properly informed.

In the 1990s, I founded the Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention (now called the Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Power & Potential) and the Jane Fonda Center for Adolescent Reproductive Health at Emory University School of Medicine. This book grows out of that work, and all my net proceeds from this book will go to these organizations.

I kept meeting teens across a wide economic and social spectrum who didn’t understand enough about how their bodies worked, or didn’t know who to ask, or how they could prevent getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant, or didn’t know how to avoid getting HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs). We were asked, over and over again in the program, questions like “How do I know if I’m in a real relationship?” and “How can I say ‘no’ and still be popular?” and “When is it okay to have sex?” There is so much misinformation about these things floating around that I felt that the health of many teens I met—their future happiness, even—was on the line. I wanted to write an honest book for teens that would be a frank and straightforward resource for them, for both boys and girls, and an aid for parents, teens, teachers, librarians, and others, in talking about sex, health, identity, and relationships. This book, written for teens, provides access to information that we found in the Georgia programs that many teens need today.

In the Georgia project, we found that one big reason many teenagers don’t know all that they need to know about sex, relationships, and bodies is that people tend to worry about the things that can go wrong when it comes to sexuality, especially when a person is young. This can make the focus seem to be on the negatives—the dangers of sex, and how to avoid them.

However, most experts on sexuality and adolescence—the teenage years—think it is a mistake to focus just on the negatives and not talk about communication, relationships, and how beautiful and exciting sexuality
can
be. There is no evidence that talking about the realities of sex encourages a person to have sexual intercourse. In fact, when you understand how precious and beautiful sexuality
can
be, you are less likely to engage in sexual acts you’re not ready for or that make you uncomfortable. You are also more likely to make healthy decisions and use protection when you do choose to have sexual intercourse. The pleasurable aspect of sex is also discussed here, as a key to making healthy decisions about whether or when to have sex, and to knowing whether the people in one’s life are respecting you, your wishes, and your needs.

Many schools offer classes about sexuality and the changing teen body. Some provide information about the body, birth control, and STIs. This book is about those things, and more—about feelings and fears, about the culture in which we live, and about what a real, loving relationship is.

Jane Fonda
September 2013

Foreword

by Melissa Kottke, M.D., M.P.H., M.B.A.

Every person has a unique path to understanding his or her body, sexuality, health, and relationships. Jane Fonda has been linking young people to essential information about these topics for decades. She has spent more than twenty years educating herself on health, sexuality, and relationships, and has worked with doctors, health professionals, educators, program directors, policymakers, religious and spiritual leaders, other advocates, and teens themselves on these important issues. Most people know of Jane Fonda as an Academy Award–winning actress, fitness guru, and advocate, but this book gives readers the opportunity to know her as a guide and teacher. In
Being a Teen,
Jane takes on one of her most important roles, and one that means a great deal to her: that of giving facts to young people to help them succeed.

Already a longtime advocate for young people’s health, Jane Fonda founded the Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention (GCAPP) in 1995. GCAPP has been the central organization championing teen pregnancy prevention in the state of Georgia, working through education, training, and special programming. A few years later, Jane started the Jane Fonda Center for Adolescent Reproductive Health at Emory University, to join academic partners in research to advance the field of adolescent sexual and reproductive health. In 2001, she dedicated a special teen-clinic space at Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta, Georgia, where best practices in clinical care and education are delivered to teens in need. Jane fosters the work of these organizations and institutions through direct involvement and cultivation. Through these three organizations, tens of thousands of teens have directly received clinical care and programming and at least a dozen curricula and educational tools have been developed. Hundreds of thousands of people have benefited from the education and training delivered by these organizations. Thanks to the work that Jane has spearheaded regarding teen pregnancy in Georgia, our state has witnessed declines in teen birth at a rate that is among the highest in the country!

I first met Jane Fonda in 2005, when I was interviewing for a job as Director of the Jane Fonda Center. I had just finished a fellowship in family planning and contraception at Emory, and prior to that a residency in obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center. At first I was a bit intimidated to meet her, but that feeling faded quickly as Jane and I talked about what motivated us both—giving young people the information and tools they needed to navigate the transition to adulthood safely and healthily. Her level of engagement and her detailed knowledge about adolescent reproductive health immediately impressed me. We have been working together ever since.

In
Being a Teen,
Jane covers every topic young people need to know about, from puberty to bullying and beyond. She addresses a wide spectrum of subjects, from basic concepts to more advanced and abstract ideas, providing details about physical “stuff,” like body parts, hormones, periods, hygiene, contraception, and STIs, as well as nonphysical “stuff,” like dealing with parents, values, friendship, gender issues, the media, self-esteem, sexual orientation, abuse, and eating disorders. Additional resources for more information are provided throughout the book, frequently at the end of a chapter. This broad approach makes
Being a Teen
a useful guide for any teen that can be referenced again and again as new questions arise.

Jane knows that young people need reliable information and that facts are crucial to their health and happiness. In
Being a Teen,
as in her day-to-day life, she is fearless and straightforward. Jane is bold in her support of happiness, communication, and honesty. She writes for males and females, and shows how one needs to understand the other. She talks about pregnancy and STI prevention and sets high expectations for personal responsibility. She also presents the building blocks toward understanding one’s self, and beginning down the path of incorporating one’s sexuality in a healthy and positive manner. Jane offers the sage advice “If you have a good relationship with yourself, it’s easier to have a good relationship with others.” This is a truth that takes most of us years to learn.

Jane has a deep understanding of how important it is for young people to understand the changes they are experiencing, how to protect themselves, and how to love themselves. Jane operates with the belief that knowledge is power. Through
Being a Teen,
she continues this important work and expands her reach. This thorough, frank, and necessary book will be an indispensable tool for both young people and their parents.