Believing Lies (41 page)

He glanced at the ribbon and key on my wrist, smiled, and then captured my lips in his. This kiss was not sweet. It was full of need and want, desire and heat. When he entered me, it was as if I my entire body was ignited. When he began to move, I went up in flames. Everywhere he kissed burned and blazed. My fingers singed from the heat of his body as I ran my hands up and over his chest and arms.

“You feel so fucking amazing.” His words sparked something inside me, and the fire raged higher and higher. I threw my head back and closed my eyes tight. I could feel him getting closer as his movements intensified. “Open your eyes, Princess,” he coaxed. The moment my eyes fluttered open, he whispered, “I love you.”

It was as if he doused me in gasoline. We were trapped in an inferno, and I was consumed by it. I fell apart around him, and I bit my lip to keep from shouting. As I rode the aftershocks, I could feel his release.

Our breathing evened out, and he brushed a stray lock of hair from my eyes. “Say something,” he pleaded.

A knock at my door was like ice cold water being dumped on me. Both of our eyes snapped toward the sound.

By instinct, I yelled, “Just a second!”

“Sienna?” My entire body froze as stiff as a board when I heard my mother’s voice. I forced my eyes to shift to the door, and it was thankfully still closed.

I basically pushed Adam off of me and snatched my dress and panties from the floor. “Coming, Mother.” I tried to sound casual, but I could hear the tinge of hysteria that seeped in.
Oh my God. Oh my God. My mother is going to walk in on me. My life is officially over
.

I dressed in warp-speed. Luckily, Adam did too and had just finished tucking in his shirt. I turned the doorknob at the same time my mother did. She took a step into the room. Adam was sitting on the bed, which was a good thing. At least if he was on it, she wouldn’t notice it being a bit messed.

“You look flushed, darling. Are you still not feeling well? I thought we all agreed it was time for you to go back with Sophie and get some sleep.”

“Um . . . I was just getting my things.”

She cocked her head. “And Adam came up here to help you?” she asked skeptically.

Adam spoke up. “I came up here to give her Christmas present to her and to talk. We had a lot of things to discuss. I’m sorry for keeping her so long. You’re right, she really should get some rest now.” I noticed the slight turn of one side of his mouth before he added, “All of our talking seems to have worn her out.” I choked on my own spit.
I am going to kill him. This is a disaster
.

My door opened wider, and Sophie walked in. “Why does it smell like sex in here?” she asked candidly.

Nope, not a disaster. This is a fucking catastrophe
.

My mother’s eyes widened, then narrowed, then popped back open. Sophie looked at me and saw the deer-in-the-headlights expression on my face. She let out one loud laugh and sat next to Adam.

“Sienna Melissa Trudeau, explain yourself right now!” my mother demanded.

“Sophie’s cracking a joke, Mother,” I stated. “Right, Sophie?”

Sophie smiled coyly. “Of course, I am . . . but even if I wasn’t, what’s the worst that could happen? I mean, she’s already pregnant.”

“Enough of this nonsense,” Mother bellowed. “I’m going to go downstairs, and everyone better be down within the next two minutes.” She left the room, leaving the door wide open behind her.

Sophie threw her head back and laughed loudly. “Best fucking Christmas ever,” she said, wheezing. As soon as she controlled her giggles, she informed us that Conner was outside starting our vehicles. She then skipped out of the room.

Adam walked over and bent his head to kiss me. I pulled back. “Please don’t.”

“Why? Because of your mom?

I averted my eyes. “No. I . . . I just need time to think.”

His brows pinched. “What’s there to think about?”

“This was a mistake, Adam. I got caught up—”

He put his finger over my lips and gently traced the edge. My eyelids closed, and all I felt was an overwhelming sense of peace. He kissed the side of my cheek, and then stepped away. I opened my eyes, and he was gone.

I quickly tossed the rest of my stuff in my bag, went to the bathroom and threw in my toiletries, and raced downstairs. I looked out the window, but to my complete disappointment, he had left.

“Are you ready to go?” Sophie asked, coming up behind me and holding my jacket.

“Yeah.”

The instant we were in my vehicle, she said, “Tell me it was good.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“The guilty look on your face tells me that you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Does the guilty look on my face also tell you that I don’t want to talk about it?”

“Nope.”

I sighed loudly. “Not tonight, Soph. I just need to process things, okay?”

She smiled broadly. “Okay. I can live with that. Process away.”

Later that night, I lay in bed, watching the snow fall outside my window. I had taken the ribbon off my wrist, and was twirling the key above me.
What was it for? What did it mean?

I still couldn’t believe I had slept with him, especially at my parent’s house. And then he had to go and say that he loved me. Those words were supposed to make me angry—not give me an orgasm. I set the key down on my nightstand and curled onto my side. I needed to rebuild the wall around my heart. I closed my eyes and reached for a brick, but they were all gone. In fact, the whole wall had been completely incinerated.

Chapter Thirty-Two

“Are you absolutely sure you won’t come out. It’s New Year’s Eve!”

“Sophie, you can beg and whine all you want, but I’m not coming with.” Her persistence had begun to grate on my nerves. After she got the full story of what happened on Christmas, she was more determined than ever before to get Adam and me back together.

“WHYYY?”

“I can’t drink, the bars will be packed full, and . . .”

“And Adam hasn’t called you,” she said, finishing my sentence for me.

I flopped backwards on her bed. “Yes, ‘and Adam hasn’t called me,’” I admitted begrudgingly.

She whipped her head around just long enough to gloat. “Hah! I knew it! You want him to call you. You want to see him tonight.”

Even though she was sitting at her vanity and couldn’t see my face, I shot her a dirty look. “I do not. It’s just that . . . I just don’t get it. He shows up at Christmas, gives me this mysterious key, we sleep together, he tells me he loves me, and then nothing since.” I sat up and crossed my legs.

“Maybe he’s waiting to see if you call him. You forgot the part where you told him that sleeping with him was a mistake. That had to hurt.”

“Okay, I’ll agree. That was pretty shitty to say right afterwards, but it was also true. I shouldn’t have slept with him. That was a really bad judgment call on my part.”

“You’re such a whore,” she teased. “Speaking of whores, have you thought about who he’s going to kiss at midnight if you’re not there?”

I narrowed my eyes. “Really? Playing the jealousy card?”

“I’ll play whatever card I can.”

“He can kiss whomever he wants.”
Yep, that sentence stung
.

“I’ll make sure to let him know that.” Her tone was sassy and sweet all at once.

My patience fried, I snapped, “You do that,” and then stormed out of her room.

I went to the living room, laid on the couch, and turned on the TV. Twenty minutes later, Sophie came out and said goodbye.

I hadn’t planned on falling asleep, but when the TV started to blur and my eyelids became too heavy, I gave in. I woke up some time later to a strange feeling in my stomach. For a split second, I was scared, but then I realized my baby was kicking me. I placed my hand over the spot and giggled with happiness as she kicked again. My eyes shifted to the clock. Eleven-fifty-nine. She had woken me up just in time for New Year’s.

The clock changed to midnight, and my heart fell, morbidly wondering who Adam was kissing right now. My phone chimed from on the coffee table. I reached over and picked it up.

ADAM: Happy New Year’s Princess.

I stared at the screen in disbelief. He wasn’t kissing someone. He was texting me. A second chime and new text bubble popped up.

ADAM: I miss you.

I didn’t think about it. I just typed.

ME: I miss u too.

I waited almost three minutes before he replied.

ADAM: Do you really?

ME: Yes.

ADAM: Then why do you still keep pushing me away?

I didn’t know what to type. My wall was gone. My defenses were shot. Could I risk trusting him? It was such a gamble. If he was playing me, I’d never heal. I didn’t know if I could give my heart to him again, knowing he’d have the power to crush it at any moment.

I held my phone for over an hour, unable to type a response. Finally, I set it down and closed my eyes.

***

I was in my own personal purgatory. One week had passed since that text. One long week of complete silence. He gave up on me. It wasn’t as if anyone could blame him. I would have given up on me too. I’d pushed him away time and time again, and when he flat-out asked me why I keep pushing him away, I never even replied because the only answer I could come up with was “I don’t know.”

Sophie and Conner left yesterday morning to visit her mom in Chicago. Being alone with my thoughts sucked, plain and simple. I needed Sophie’s advice and guidance. Although I felt bad intruding on her time with them, I couldn’t stop myself from calling her. She answered instantly, and as soon as I heard her voice, I broke down and confessed all.

“I can’t keep this up anymore,” I said. “On the day of my ultrasound, you told me to simplify things, and all I’ve done is complicate them further. It’s time to take your advice. I love him, and I just need to trust in that.”

“Holy crap! Finally!” I pulled the phone back from my ear to save my eardrum from bleeding. “I thought he was being stupid by not calling you or coming over, but I guess it paid off.” Her words were so rushed that they came out as one unbroken string.

My heart stopped at a dead halt. “What do you mean?”

“He said you needed time to think.” I could imagine her shrugging as she said it.

I snorted. “Well, I guess he was right this time.”

“Are you going to call him?” she asked excitedly.

I hesitated before answering, “Yeah. I think I will.”

“Atta girl. Go get your sexy man!”

I giggled. “Thanks. Bye.”

“Bye,” she sing-songed.

I hit End, and froze. I didn’t really want to do this over the phone. I wanted to see him. I wanted to kiss him, and hold him, and never let go.

I needed to think this through. I could go to his house. It was ten-thirty, but he’d probably still be awake. Then again, he may not even be at his house. It was worth the chance. If he wasn’t home, then I’d call him. I thought about getting myself all dolled-up, and decided against it. I ran a razor over my legs (just in case), threw on a new layer of mascara, and called it good. I had to get there before I lost my resolve.

***

Adam’s porch light was off, but I could see his interior lights were on, so he was probably home. The moment I stepped out of my vehicle, I shook from the bitter wind that whipped my face, and also from the nerves that were whipping my insides at the same time. It was so cold I could see my breath each time I exhaled as I walked to his front door. I gave myself a strong mental nudge, and then knocked on the door. Now all I had to do was wait and pray that he’d be happy to see me.

I crossed my arms around myself and shivered. I was thankful for my super huge winter jacket, which I’d bought large enough for my stomach to grow into. I looked like a giant white marshmallow, but it was really warm, and that’s all that mattered. With gloved hands, I pulled my scarf higher and my stocking cap lower in defense against the brutal air.

My teeth began clattering, so I knocked a second time. I heard footsteps coming toward the door.
Whew!
I was seconds away from becoming a Popsicle.

The door opened. “Can I help you?”
What. The. Fuck?!

A girl was standing in front of me, wearing only pajama pants and a tiny cami, and had a towel wrapped around what I assumed was wet hair. Black framed glasses covered her bright green eyes. She looked slightly familiar. I couldn’t place the face, but it was a very pretty one.

Don’t jump to conclusions. Learn from the past
. There had to be a logical explanation as to why a freshly bathed girl was answering Adam’s door, right?
Yeah, and Hell just froze over. Oh look, a pig just flew by
.

“Um. Is Adam here?” I asked, my insides twisting themselves into knots.

She looked at me as if I was scum. “He’s in the shower.” Her voice was as icy as the winter air biting me.

“Oh,” was all that managed to come out of my mouth. I wanted to run, just turn around and never look back, but I needed to confront Adam. “Can I come in and wait for him?”

Oh my God. I’m asking the flavor-of-the-night for permission to go inside. Wait. Flavors-of-the-night don’t wear pajamas. Flavors-of-the-night get kicked out right afterwards. Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am style
. A cold dread came over me, and bile rose up my throat. I was going to be sick.
She isn’t a quick lay. Nope. This girl is staying the night
.

Towel girl put her hand out across the doorframe to block me. I looked at her outstretched arm and noticed a splattering of fuchsia pink star tattoos, which started on her wrist and spiraled around her lower arm like a swirled bracelet. It was magnificent.
Don’t compliment the bitch, even in your mind. This is the enemy. Grow a pair!

I brought my attention back to her face, only to find her giving me the best stink eye I’d ever received. “There’s no way in hell you’re getting one foot in this door,” she bit out pointedly and sneered at me further.

I was no longer cold at all. My blood was boiling in my veins. I was ready to slap that smug look right off her face. “Look here, I have every right in the world to see him, and he sure as fuck owes me an explanation right now.” I was seething, absolutely livid. “So let me by, or so help me . . .” I gritted my teeth.