Belmary House Book Three (13 page)

Tilly strode toward the door, shaking off Piper and Evie, and burst into the kitchen, all but shouting Aha!

The looks on their faces at being caught almost made her laugh, but tears at being lied to by Ashford stung the backs of her eyes instead. She couldn’t meet anyone’s eye, she felt so ashamed at the pity she knew she’d see there.

“Are you planning on leaving without me?” she asked Ashford, before rounding on Liam. “And you’re going to close up the portal so I can’t try and follow him?” When neither of them answered, she followed up with, “What in the hell?” Her voice broke and she stamped her foot, furious at herself for showing how much it hurt.

Ashford tried to lead her from the kitchen, away from the curious, prying eyes. She rooted her feet to the ground, angrily shaking off his hand.

“I can’t make you give up anything for me,” he finally said.

A tear rolled down her cheek but she ignored it. “But you are. If you leave without me, you’re making me give up the only thing I want.”

Piper gave Ashford a dirty look and took Tilly’s arm. “You don’t need their portal,” she said. “I can help you go whenever you want.” She got a faraway look in her eye and Lachlan groaned. “I could open a time travel matchmaking service.”

“That sounds dangerous,” Evie said.

“It is,” Ashford agreed firmly, Evie finally looking begrudgingly friendly toward him for the first time. “That’s why I don’t want her to go back.” He turned to Tilly. “You’re the best thing about my life. Other than you, it’s one dangerous misadventure after another. I can’t in good conscience let you be a part of that.”

All three women gasped, and he looked pained. “What? What did I say that’s so wrong?”

Lachlan stepped forward, looking pleased with himself. “Women in this time make their own decisions. Ye can’t say ye’re not going to
let
 them do anything. Ye have to finagle them into agreeing with ye somehow.” He looked fondly down at Piper and she elbowed him half-heartedly, unable to keep from smiling at him. “Mind, though. Sometimes they just do what they want and ye have to make the best of it.”

Tilly noticed that Liam had escaped without her noticing and she determined to deal with him later. Ashford looked cornered and Lachlan took pity on him, herding Piper and Evie from the kitchen.

“Let’s go to town for breakfast,” he suggested. “Let these two hash it out without your interference.”

They left them alone and once they were gone, Tilly sat down, exhausted and brokenhearted. Was she going to fight to stay with a man who didn’t want her? Her heart wanted to, but her pride was badly stung.

“Why did you lie? You said you loved me.”

“Matilda, that’s why I don’t —”

“That’s not a good reason. If I stay in this time, I could get hit by a bus. Anyone can get an illness in any time. And you don’t own the copyright on psychotic killers. I used to work in law enforcement, I know about violent crime, and there’s plenty of it now, even if I’m not part of your magical family feud.” She threw her pride out the door and decided to fight. “I want to be with you,” she said in a much smaller voice than her original tirade.

“You don’t know how dangerous the Povests are. If I take you back with me, we won’t be going back to Belmary House or the Scotland estate. I have no choice but to go after Kostya, and they’ll probably kill me for my troubles. You can choose to save yourself.”

“You can’t know what will happen, no matter how smug and smart you think you are. We have Liam. We have you now. You can do those things now. We could win.”

He paced away from her and stared at the fireplace. “I can’t,” he said. “I can’t control it if I can. I wish I could shake you right now, for not being properly frightened. Of them. Of me.”

“I’d never be frightened of you, and I’m plenty frightened of them. But I don’t care. I’ll take them on any day over losing you.”

“Then you’re a wee fool.” He turned around and sat across the table from her, reaching over to take her hand, all the fire draining from his eyes. He looked as despondent as she felt.

“But I’m your wee fool, right?” she asked, another tear rolling down her cheek. They were no closer to answers, but they had both run out of steam.

He wiped it away with his thumb, nodding resolutely. “Oh, Matilda, why can’t you listen to me and do what’s best for you?”

She shrugged. “The same reason you know you won’t be able to go ahead with your idiotic plan to leave me behind.”

He raised her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles, but remained silent, causing her heart to feel like it was being crushed.

***

Tilly jumped at the chance to drive into the village with Evie when she left to pick up her children. She needed to buy a few things to look normal in this time, and the dress she’d been wearing when they arrived was so grimy at that point it almost stood up on its own when she took it off, squeezing into something of tiny Piper’s for the shopping trip. She felt oddly naked wearing a tight knee length skirt and a sky blue sweater over a plain white shirt. She missed the lace and buttons and frills of her nineteenth century wardrobe.

While she was in the village, she’d gone with Evie to visit her husband Sam at his bookstore, buying a stack of books to show support for the quaint, adorable shop, then got herself and Ashford some clothes, all with the money Liam had guiltily given her. Before she called the village cab to take her back to the castle, she stopped into the museum that housed many of Piper’s ancestor’s old items, feeling calm and at home amongst the antiques, yearning to be back in Ashford’s time.

She had to fit in while she was here though, and they were set to leave for London the next morning. She’d have to see her grandmother and explain, and the thought of going back to Ashford’s time for good without seeing her mother again made her chest hurt. If only they could go to California for a visit, but the few days Ashford had given up so she could be in her time again already weighed heavily on her conscience.

She thought her mom would like Ashford once she got to know him, and she’d love for him to be able to see America. But as much as it pained her, every moment they tarried was time that Kostya was left to suffer. She hoped she could get through with the portal one day and visit her family again, but knew in her heart she’d have to reconcile herself to most likely never seeing them again. It wasn’t something she could share with Ashford, knowing he would only add it to his list of reasons why she should stay in her own time. As sure as she felt about being with him, she knew she would miss her family terribly and probably always feel guilty for leaving them.

She wandered downstairs, wondering where everyone had got to while she was shopping. Lachlan showed up, taking a break from working on the estate, filling up the kitchen with his just short of scary presence. He fixed himself a sandwich and plopped down across from her. He must have noticed her long look and surprised her by asking outright if she thought she’d regret leaving with Ashford.

“I had to make the same choice,” he confided. “Though it pained me to leave my younger brother and sister behind, and I still get bouts of guilt about it, I couldna have stayed without Piper, and her time is here.”

Tilly nodded. “I don’t think I’ll regret it, not at all. I already feel like I’m from his time.” She paused to imagine Ashford muddling his way through the twenty-first century. He hated it here. “He couldn’t stay here. I wouldn’t ask him to.”

“Dinna feel bad for missing your family though. Piper doesna hold it against me when I get low sometimes, and I’m sure your Ashford willna either.”

“He’d probably just say I told you so.”

A chime sounded, and Lachlan looked around for Mellie. “That’s the front doorbell. Today isna one of the tour days,” he said. “We dinna usually get unannounced visitors. Everyone makes an appointment or joins the tour.”

Mel appeared from the back, and raced away excitedly. “I got it,” she said.

A few minutes later she returned, looking put upon. “It’s for Tilly.”

She held open the door, and Tilly’s grandmother walked in, eyes blazing, brandishing her travel tote at Lachlan.

“Are you the one who stole my granddaughter away to another time?” she shrieked. “And now you’re keeping her locked up here in the Highlands?”

“Grandma, stop!” Tilly tried to take the bag from her as Lachlan got pummeled, finally giving up and grabbing her around the waist to pull her away. “What did Dex tell you? Nobody’s keeping me locked up.”

Helen Barlow huffed and straightened her coat, patting her perfectly coiffed hair. “Then why didn’t you come back with him? Do you know how we’ve been worrying, young lady?”

“I’m sorry, but for God’s sake, I told Dex we were going to follow in a few days.”

Helen pressed her Revlon red lips together and her rigid posture slumped in defeat. Even after her long journey and violent rage fit, she still looked impeccable.

“I will skin that boy. He made me believe — oh never mind.” She got Tilly in a stranglehold of a hug and held on until Tilly had to beg for a breath. “I was so worried,” she repeated, turning back to Lachlan to apologize. “But you should have made her return sooner,” she said primly.

“This is Lachlan Ferguson, Gran. He lives here. He and his wife very graciously let us stay here.”

Helen paled, then her cheeks turned fuschia, competing with her delicate peach rouge. “I am so sorry. Please forgive this terrible old woman.”

The big ex-warrior looked afraid of her grandmother, and nodded. “I’ll just run out to the barn now,” he said, backing out the door. “If I see the one ye’re meaning to beat, I’ll send him along.”

“I’d appreciate that, dear,” Helen said.

Tilly groaned and made her sit down. “No one else is getting a beating, Gran. I’ll find Julian so you can meet him, but only when you calm down.”

Her grandma refused to take her eyes off her while she fixed her a cup of tea, as if she was afraid Tilly would disappear before her eyes. Guilt gnawed at her, and she knew she should start easing her toward the news that she’d be leaving with Ashford for good, but she couldn’t make herself. Not yet.

After a few sips of tea, Helen’s equilibrium was restored and she plied Tilly with questions about the past, which Tilly was eager to answer. If she could make it sound like a place where she could have a good life, maybe her grandma wouldn’t be too sad when they said goodbye.

“But still, no showers, no penicillin? How do you get messages to people?”

“There’s baths, and well, it does suck about the medicine, but people get their messages just fine. It’s nice not being constantly bombarded with information. After the first week or so I never missed my phone.”

“Well, you’re back now, that’s all that matters. I’m glad you didn’t suffer too much while you were stuck there.”

Tilly gave up for the moment, finding it impossible to make Helen believe that she hadn’t suffered at all, quite the opposite in fact. Even with the terrible things she’d seen, she’d always felt safe with Ashford, and her life wouldn’t have been complete if she hadn’t met him. She decided to confide in her and hunkered down for some serious girl talk after finding a tin of ginger cookies in the pantry.

“The man who I went with, Lord Ashford, he’s an earl. He has the most beautiful estate here in Scotland, and Dex probably took you to Belmary House. He actually lives there in his time. He’s so refined and responsible. But nice, too. And he’s saved so many people’s lives.”

Helen sniffed. “Lives I’m sure were in danger because of him or his wretched house. Can’t he do something about it?”

She thought about Ashford’s deal with Liam to close the portal, something she’d put a stop to. Was she further endangering other people’s lives by letting the portal stay open? She shook her head, miffed that her grandma had confused her and got her off the track of selling Ashford as a catch.

“Grandma, I’m in love with him,” she blurted.

Helen dropped her ginger biscuit, watching its descent to the floor before gaping at Tilly. “You aren’t,” she argued. “It’s that thing— you know, Stockholm Syndrome. You won’t remember what color his eyes are in two weeks and in a month this will all be a distant memory. We’ll get you back in therapy. Everything will be fine.”

Tilly was astounded that she was being accused of having Stockholm Syndrome. That on top of Ashford making important life decisions for her was enough to make her want to throw her teacup across the room. She laughed indignantly.

“I think I know my own feelings.”

“And I’m glad you can share them with me, dear,” Helen said, picking up the dropped cookie and dusting the crumbs off her fingers. “That’s what I’m here for. We should probably keep it from your mother, though. You know how she is.”

“I’m not keeping it from mom,” Tilly sputtered.

“We’ll see, honey. Now let’s get you packed up so we can leave. I rented a car, that was a real mess, but we can be to the airport before dark if we hurry.”

“Grandma,” Tilly said, standing up and stamping her foot. Oh, she hated how her grandmother could transform her into an eight year old. “I’m not leaving with you.” Helen blinked rapidly and Tilly softened enough to add, “Not yet, anyway. I still have things to do here.” And in 1814, she silently added. But Helen was so upset she didn’t mention that.