Beneath the Scars (30 page)

I shook his hand off. “You already did, Jared. Good luck with publishing
my
book.”

I walked out of the room quickly, so he couldn’t see how hard I was shaking. Bill could finish whatever needed to be done, but I had to get out of there before I lost it totally on Jared. I pushed the elevator button, praying it would come fast. Once I was safely down in the lobby, I sunk into one of the chairs scattered around and waited for Bill.

I didn’t feel better having faced Jared. If anything, I felt worse. He was so smug and arrogant. I cursed myself for ever seeing only his handsome face and not seeing the darkness that lurked behind his easy smile.

I longed for Zachary. Even in his anger he was honest. I wanted to hear his voice. I had only spoken to him briefly when I arrived, then again this morning. He didn’t like to talk on the phone, and kept our conversations short. He did, however, assure me earlier he missed me and was looking forward to me coming home. I had stared at the phone for a while after he had hung up.

Home.

It was amazing how fast home had become the place where Zachary was. His very presence made me feel safe, and the way he seemed to need me made me feel complete. Here, without him, I felt very empty.

Bill sat down beside me, shaking his head. “It’s not over, Megan.”

“What now?”

“He may come after you. He’s threatening slander or defamation of character, something. He’s desperate to discredit you.”

Weariness settled over my shoulders. “You think I should sign? Give him my book and let the world think I lied?”

“It’s not my field of expertise, but I’ll fight this for you,” he said, holding up his hand when I started to shake my head. “We’ve been friends a long time, Megan. I’m not asking for payment. I’d do this as your friend, but it could get ugly, and there’s a very good chance we’ll lose. It would certainly stop the book from coming out, though.”

“I can’t let you do that. Your firm—”

“Takes some pro bono cases. I could do this—for you.”

“And if I lose, he gets the book anyway.”

“It’s a risk. We have to see what his next move is.” He hesitated. “Can I ask you something?”

I nodded.

“Can you write another book, Megan?”

“Yes.”

“As hard as it would be to do, wouldn’t the money help you figure out the next step? Give you a break for a while to do that?” His voice became guarded. “Can you recover from this if he chooses to come after you?”

I shut my eyes as I thought about it. I could write another book. I could find a job and move ahead with my life. I could take the money, walk away, and not have to worry how it would affect Zachary. A dull throbbing started behind my eyes and I rubbed my temples, trying to ease the headache that was coming on. “I don’t know,” I admitted quietly.

“Think about it. We can talk in a couple days. The next move is his, if he decides to come after you.”

“I will.”

“Are you staying here?”

“No. I’m going back to my place to get a few things, then head to Cliff’s Edge tomorrow.” The mere thought of getting back there eased some of the tension I was feeling. “I’m anxious to get back to Zachary,” I added without thinking.

“Who is Zachary, Megan? Your next mark?” Jared’s voice was snide as he spoke from behind me.

Slowly, I stood up, trying hard not to show my panic. How much had he heard? I didn’t want him to know anything about Zachary or where I was staying. Internally, I cursed myself for slipping up. I turned to Jared, who was eyeing me closely, a calculating expression on his face. I shrugged nonchalantly, hoping he bought my act. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I got a new dog.”

His expression didn’t change. Desperate to throw him off track, I pulled out my phone. “Want to see a picture?” I asked, knowing full well he had no interest at all in seeing one.

My ruse seemed to work. He sneered at me as he shook his head. “No, thanks.” With a nasty grin he turned to leave. “Think about what your lawyer said, and what I said, Megan. I meant it...you know I did.”

A long, cold shudder ran through my spine as I watched him walk away.

Karen was perched on the countertop, watching me clean out the refrigerator in my apartment. “I hate to say it, Megan, but maybe Bill is right. If you won’t accept the money to fight it, maybe you should walk away.”

I threw another container of bad yogurt into the bin. “So he wins.”

Her voice was filled with sympathy. “I think he already did.”

The expired pasta sauce hit the edge of the garbage bin with more force than I intended. For a second I thought I had overthrown it and I would have to clean up another mess, but then it tipped into the can and I sighed in relief. “I guess he has.”

“At least you get some money. Maybe the book will suck and there won’t be any sales.” At the rather insulted look I threw her, she chuckled. “I meant with the changes he made. Maybe it won’t be as good.”

“I don’t want to take his money. It feels all sorts of wrong.”

“Don’t think about it. Think about what it means. You don’t have to deal with him anymore. You can move forward with your life, and like Bill said, write another book.”

I snorted as I tied the top of the bag shut. “Like any publisher would ever touch me with all of this attached to my name.”

“Then you self-publish under another name and build up your reputation that way. You can do this, Megan. I know you can.”

I adjusted the temperature and shut the door. “Maybe I should just walk away. Withdraw my statement and be done with it.”

“I think if you’re going to do that, you should take the money.” She tilted her head. “At least get some compensation out of it. I bet if Bill went to them and said you’d take the money, they’d word the statement in a positive way.”

“Like what?” I shook my head. “That I was mistaken?”

“I’m sure they could figure something out. If Jared got what he wanted, I’m sure he’d be happy to word it, ah, in a kind fashion.”

“Yeah.” I nodded, sarcasm edging my voice. “He’s such a kind person.”

“Give him what he wants, he might be. Think about it,” she urged.

“I will.”

She jumped off the counter. “Okay enough of this shit. No more about Jared or the book. We’re going to the salon and you’re getting the works: mani, pedi, facial, and I’ll trim your hair. Then we’ll order in pizza and drink our weight in wine. What time are you going back tomorrow?”

“I have some errands to do, plus an appointment at the bank, then I’ll head back. I plan on being there in the early evening.”

“Okay. Got your stuff packed?”

“Yep.”

“Good.” She grinned at me. “I call girls’ night officially started.”

I couldn’t help but return her grin. She was right. I needed a break from everything else.

“Girls’ night it is.”

I woke up early the next day, my head surprisingly clear, considering how much wine we’d consumed the previous night. Karen and I had sat up late talking, drinking—the way we often had since we met.

A hot shower swept away the last of the cobwebs, and feeling ambitious, I went to the kitchen to make coffee. I moved around quietly, knowing I was the only one up. Chris was away and Karen wasn’t going into the salon until late morning. My laptop was taking up counter space and I pushed it aside to fill the coffee pot, frowning when memories of last night’s wine-induced idea came back to me.

In a moment of weakness, while I was lamenting missing Zachary, I had typed his professional name into a search engine. I was shocked at the amount of hits that came up, considering he had been such a big star before the age of internet had fully hit. There was a vast amount of information regarding both his personal and professional life. Karen and I had looked at some pictures, agreeing he was incredibly handsome. I was embarrassed to realize I had downloaded some of them. As I studied a couple, I also recognized something else: all the pictures showed his rugged good looks, but if you looked in his eyes, you saw the truth. They stared at the camera, void of any emotion, even ones where he was smiling. Lifeless and cold, his eyes made me shiver and think that perhaps I wouldn’t have liked that person very much.

The Zachary I had come to know, who was beginning to open up, to show his feelings, was indeed a different person. What had happened—his past—had changed not only his physical appearance, but also the person inside. I thought about how different he was since we had come together: warmer, gentler. Maybe, I thought with a smile, I had changed him. Maybe the love I had shown him, helped make him that way.

I groaned when I looked at my history and saw not only a large number of pictures, but I had even purchased and downloaded an unauthorized biography on his life. I remembered thinking it was a good idea at the time, and that knowing more about him might help me to understand him better.

Now, with a clear head, I knew if there was something I wanted to know, I should just ask him directly. I wondered how he would respond if I showed him some of the pictures and asked him more questions. Hearing Karen moving around, I opened a new folder and transferred all the pictures and the book into it, labeling it Zachary. I would go through it all later, and delete most of it, once I made the decision about talking to him.

At the exact moment, I needed coffee.

Small excited tremors ran through my stomach as I drove into Cliff’s Edge mid-afternoon. Thanks to my early start, I had accomplished not only my errands, but also managed to move the bank appointment up, so I was on the road prior to noon. Zachary wasn’t expecting me yet, so I was hoping to surprise him. I stopped, grabbed a few things at the store, and even dropped by to say hello to Ashley, telling her how much Karen loved the scarf I had given her. She showed me a couple new pieces Zachary had brought in, and we chatted for a few minutes. Her smile, when she told me she had never seen him look so at ease or happy, made me blush a little. The fact he admitted to her he missed me, made me long to get home even quicker. Before I left, she handed me some tubes of paint he had ordered. Outside, as I was putting them in the trunk, the breeze caught the small order form, lifting it high and swirling away across the parking lot, coming to rest part way across the pavement. I hurried over to grab it, almost reaching it, when it lifted back up, drifting higher and landing on the road. I watched it with pursed lips as it drifted far out of my reach, then decided not to chase after it. If he needed another copy, Ashley would make him one. Right now, my only goal was to get to him.