Best Friends (Until Someone Better Comes Along) (16 page)

I hastily grabbed my gym bag out of my locker and met
up with Sylvie and Heidi in the hall outside the gym. They were so obsessed with the fact that tryouts were about to start that they didn't even notice that I was following them into the locker rooms.

“Do you think Skylar Hendricks still likes Madonna?” Heidi asked Sylvie as they carved out a corner of the locker room for themselves. Heidi had decided to dance to “Like a Prayer,” a Madonna song that she'd only picked because she'd heard the captain of the squad loved it. It was a smart strategy, but a really hard song to dance to, so Heidi was sort of out of her league. “I know she was obsessed with her last year, but what if she hates Madonna this year?”

“I guess you'll find out,” Sylvie shrugged. She slipped into her short-shorts and tank top, then looked over at me. “Why are you changing?”

It wasn't a question so much as an accusation. She blatantly stared as I slipped on shorts under my skirt. “I decided to try out,” I said casually, hoping they wouldn't laugh. “I figured I might as well give it a shot.”

“I thought dance team conflicted with soccer?” Heidi said, narrowing her eyes. “Is this just another way for you to humiliate us? You're going to go out there and dance like a total rock star and make the rest of us look like idiots?”

“No, believe me,” I said quietly, leaning in closer to them. The locker room was filling up with other people who were changing for tryouts, and I didn't want everyone to hear me. “You guys, the thing is . . . I'm a terrible dancer. I just learned how to dance with even a little bit of rhythm this summer.” I shrugged and slipped my T-shirt on over my sports bra. “But I do think it would be really amazing if we were all on the team together, and just because I'm totally freaked out about embarrassing myself—well, that's kind of a dumb reason to not even try. So I'm just going to go out there and see what happens. I want to be here to support you and be a part of this, even if it means I'm going to end up looking like a moron.”

I smiled, thinking about how impressed my mom had been the night before when I'd told her what I was planning to do. Of course, at first, she looked shocked. Then she told me she'd always wished she had the nerve to try out for her high school's dance team. While I practiced my routine, she ended up having a ton of good ideas about how to make it better. I was still going to look like a mess, but at least I'd managed to piece together a routine in less than one day that was somewhat decent.

Sylvie glared at me. “You're a bad dancer? Since when?”

I nodded. “The worst. Since forever. Haven't you noticed that I
never
dance?” Last year, at our first middle school dance, I'd somehow convinced all my friends that dancing in a group in front of everyone—as a sixth grader—was the surest way of looking desperate for all of middle school (the rules didn't apply to slow dancing with a guy, obviously). They believed me, so I was spared the public humiliation all year long. A group of us just stood along the wall during the fast songs and made fun of other girls who looked like they were having a lot more fun than we were.

“But you're going to try out anyway?” Heidi asked, smiling a tiny bit. “Why? It's like self-inflicted torture. How embarrassing.”

She was totally right. I was setting myself up for major embarrassment. There were probably other ways to convince people that I wasn't a self-centered brat. But Ava and Bailey would be watching dance tryouts, and hopefully they'd understand what I was trying to do. They knew how much I worried about humiliating myself.

I hung my clothes inside a locker, and slammed it closed. “Here's the thing,” I said, as we walked out toward the gym. “I'll look so bad that it's going to make the rest of you look amazing in comparison.”

Sylvie rolled her eyes. “You are seriously messed. I really hope there's some other reason you're doing this that you're just not telling us about.”

Heidi linked her arm through mine and added, “I personally can't
wait
to see what your master plan is, since you
must
have something else up your sleeve. There's no way Isabella Caravelli would intentionally embarrass herself without a reason.” She laughed. “I seriously hope whatever you're planning is worth the humiliation.”

“It will be,” I said. I knew my friends thought I had some big prank planned. There was no reason for me to tell them the real deal—that this was just one part of my master plan to change my reputation. I knew it would be worth it.

At least, I
hoped
it would be.

I
zzy!” A few people waved
to me as we made our way into the gym—people I knew I'd been mean to at various times, but who always seemed to forgive me. I smiled and waved back, but my stomach felt like it was being squeezed inside someone's fist.

Heidi and Sylvie stood tall beside me. I was grateful they were there, holding me up in a way. If my friends had walked away, I was sure I would have fallen over because I was so nervous. I glanced around at the faces that surrounded me and noticed that some girls from our grade were whispering and pointing my way. The sixth graders all just looked completely terrified. I could relate. I held my chin up and tried to look calm, but I was seriously scared I was going to trip over my own feet.

We all went over to the sign-up sheet that was hanging by the main gym door and printed our names on the list. We were toward the top—most people hadn't signed in yet. I guess that was good, since then I could get my turn over with early and just enjoy the rest of the tryouts. Maybe by the time everyone else had gone, people would forget I'd ever made a fool of myself at all.

Ha!
I thought, my heart pounding.
As if.

“Isabella!” Skylar Hendricks waved me over to a long table where she was standing with some of the other girls who were returning to the team from last year. Skylar and I were sort of friends, I guess. Not that we ever hung out outside school, but we were nice enough to each other in the hallway. I'd never tried to date any of her ex-boyfriends—there were a
lot
of them, but they were all sort of jerks—and I think that was enough to keep me off her Naughty List. (I'd heard a rumor that she actually
had
a Naughty List . . . and you did
not
want to be on it.) “I thought you weren't trying out.” She shook her finger at me and tsk-tsked, like I was in trouble for not telling her I was coming.

“I changed my mind,” I said with a shrug. “I'm here to support my friends more than anything, I guess.”

Skylar gave me a funny look. “Well, I hope you do great. You'd be a perfect captain for next year.”

“Actually,” I said, speaking quietly, hoping no one would overhear me, “there are a few other people trying out today who would be perfect for captain next year. And they'd be amazing on the team this year too, of course.”

“Really?” Skylar asked, arching one eyebrow. “You have some ideas for who should be captain, but . . . you're not talking about you?”

“Not me,” I said. “Obviously, Sylvie or Heidi would be great captains next year. . . .” I smiled, trying to sound like I meant it. I knew both of my best friends would
love
to be captain of the dance team. And because I sort of knew Skylar, I knew it was my best-friend duty to tell her how great they were right before auditions. It never hurt to be top-of-mind, as my dad always says.

But even still, I found it hard to feel sincere, since I knew I'd feel
really
left out if one or both of my best friends were captains of the dance team next year, when I wasn't even on the team. Then I thought about what my dad and I had talked about, and tried to swallow back my pride—it felt like I was trying to slurp down a giant ice cube that kept getting stuck in my throat. Then I added, “But do you know Ava Young?”

Skylar shook her head. “No.”

“She's an amazing dancer. She's pretty quiet most of the time in school, but once you get to know her, she's not at all shy. She'd be an incredible captain.” I looked over to the gym door, and saw that Ava had just walked in. Bailey and a few other girls were with her, and they were all laughing. Ava looked nervous, but I knew she'd rock as soon as her music came on. “That's her,” I said, pointing as subtly as I could.

“Are you being serious?” Skylar asked, putting her hands on her hips. I turned back to look at her. “Why do you sound like a commercial? What does this girl have on you?”

I could feel my face getting hot, and I squirmed under Skylar's gaze. “Nothing! I just thought you should know how good she is,” I muttered. “Watch Ava carefully, because she's your star.”

“O-
kay
,” Skylar said suspiciously. She rolled her eyes, as though it were seriously insane that I was trying to talk up my friends. I guess maybe it seemed a little out of character. “Whatever you say, Izzy.” She smiled, then patted my shoulder. I suddenly felt really stupid. It wasn't like an endorsement from me was going to get Ava a spot on the team—or would it? As I walked back to Heidi and Sylvie, I realized that telling Skylar how great Ava is wasn't going to
hurt
her, at least.

“What were you talking to Skylar about?” Heidi asked, as she stretched her hamstrings.

“I was just telling her that I knew a few people who would make great captains next year,” I singsonged.

“Us?” Sylvie squealed.

“Of course,” I said, feeling a little guilty when I saw how happy they both looked. Was it bad that I'd been
slightly
more enthusiastic when I'd talked about Ava's skills than I was when I'd talked about Heidi or Sylvie? I was pretty sure it was okay. Heidi and Sylvie were popular, so they didn't really need my help as much as Ava did. “You know I think you guys are gonna be great today.”

“I have a feeling you'll be great too,” Sylvie said, pulling me in for a hug. “I'm glad you're here, Iz.”

“Of course I'm here!” I said, swatting her. “I'd be here no matter what. The messed-up thing is that I'm actually trying out.” I bit my lip, realizing just how many people were still flooding into the gym.

“Ugh,” Heidi said, tugging the bottom of her shirt down over the top of her shorts. “I think half the school is here. Mostly girls. I don't think Henry or Jake or Liam or any of the other guys came to watch, but still . . . ugh.”

Heidi, Sylvie, and I all stood in a line, surveying the scene.
I noticed that Bailey had found herself a seat way up at the top of the bleachers with a few other girls I recognized from our grade. She had her video camera out, as usual, and looked ready to record. Ava was stretching on the other side of the gym. She looked my way, and as I lifted my arm to wave, Mrs. Sills—the dance team advisor—turned down the music and shouted for attention.

“Let's get started!” She called, waving her arms in the air. “Take a seat and get comfortable, because we're going to be here for a while.” Everyone moved toward the bleachers, looking for somewhere to sit, while Mrs. Sills continued to shout out instructions. “Now remember, everyone has one minute to get their CD or MP3 loaded and get set, and one minute to dance. With almost a hundred of you signed up to try out today, we need to keep things rolling.”

Sylvie and Heidi and I slid onto one of the benches toward the bottom of the bleachers. We were right behind the captains and returning dance team members, so I hoped we'd get to overhear their comments. I was so excited to hear what they'd say about Ava after they saw how well she could dance. I glanced over at the other end of our row, and saw that Ava was sitting just a few people over from Heidi.

“Ava!” I called out in a stage whisper when Mrs. Sills
stopped talking to get the tryout list in order. She also set up a video camera right by the head table, so the team could review the dances later when they were making final decisions about the auditions.

Ava looked over at me and waved just the slightest bit.

“Good luck,” I mouthed, smiling at her.

She smiled back, and I decided I was definitely doing the right thing. I looked behind me, craning my neck to get a view of the uppermost seats of the bleachers. Bailey was looking down at me, and when I smiled, she smiled back too.
Yes!
I thought.
I'm a reputation-makeover genius.

The first couple of girls to dance were sixth graders, and they were kind of awful (if I was being honest). One girl completely forgot her steps, and another—who was dancing to the exact same song as the first girl—fell in the middle of her routine. Heidi and Sylvie snickered, but I stayed silent, since I knew I was going to be in the same boat in just a few minutes. I felt bad for them.

As I waited for them to call my name, I got more and more nervous. I clutched at my phone, which I'd cued up to my song, silently hoping they might accidentally skip over me and just move on to Heidi and Sylvie and then everyone else. What was I thinking, trying to make myself “relatable”
through humiliation? Maybe, if I'd just given it time, I could have convinced Bailey and Ava that I was trying to be a different person in some other way.

But it was too late now. I'd signed up, and someone was calling my name. I knew I had to try to look like I knew what I was doing, and just hope fake confidence would make people believe I wasn't awful. “Isabella Caravelli!” Mrs. Sills shouted. It took me a few seconds to stand up, which was too many for Mrs. Sills. “Izzy, hop to it. The world doesn't wait for you.”

Heidi giggled beside me. I stood up on shaky legs, and made my way to the center of the gym. I stuck my phone into the music player and looked up at everyone who was watching me. Usually, I relished the feeling of being watched, of being talked about, of being admired. But today, it was a totally different feeling. I hated this.