Bet in the Dark (14 page)

             
“Then what are you doing with him!” Beckett half-shouted, completely enraged at this point. Again.

             
“Nothing!” I shrieked in a pitch I was sure only dogs could hear. “I’m not doing
anything
with Fin. We are not together in
any
capacity. Stop being jackasses. Both of you!”

             
“Geez, Els,” Grayson muttered, as if put out. “You don’t have to yell at us.”

             
I dropped my head into my hands. The food wasn’t even here yet.

             
Beckett had the same hurt tone to his voice, the same stiff back, like
I
just attacked
them
. “Yeah, Ellie, we’re just worried. Hunter is an epic level douche, with which one does not convert or contain. I just don’t want to see you hurt again.”

“Or with another user,” Grayson put in and I started softening for them both.

Dang it. They always did this to me!
I took a big breath, exhaled slowly and then fought for patience. “I know. Thanks guys. I really do

appreciate
it. But you have to trust me. Colton was a…. fluke. A bad judgment on my part. Going forward you have nothing to worry about!” I plastered on a fake smile that none of my family believed.

             
“Did you say Fin Hunter?” Lennox growled from across the table, clearly not only familiar with the name but the reputation too.

             
Oh boy.

             
“Forget it, Lennox,” I shot him the evil eye and hoped he would back off before this got any worse. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Just drop it.”

             
He gave a huff of dissatisfaction and crossed his arms across his chest in a move that said: this is so not over.

             
“Kiddo?” My dad asked in his deep, baritone voice that instantly soothed me. “Are you alright? You’ve been on edge since you sat down. Is something wrong?”

             
“Nope.”
Everything. Everything is wrong.
              “You’re stressed, sweetheart, we can all see it,” my mother pounced. “It’s probably all your money problems, am I right? Let us help you out! Just your rent, or tuition, or both. You’re studying so hard, and working, you’re probably exhausted. We could help take some of that strain away.”

             
More fake smiling. The food would be here any minute. I just needed to persevere. This was like a marathon… I could pace myself. I could get through this.

             
I cleared my throat and said, “No thanks, mom. I’m fine, really.”

             
“I heard your roommate moved out,” Grayson announced slyly as if he was just waiting for the right opportunity to slip that in. I was going to kill him.

             
“Yes, she did,” I admitted.

             
“Oh no, honey,” my mom cooed. “She didn’t leave you in the lurch did she?”

             
Only because she took the majority of my furniture. And hadn’t paid rent in three months. And left a huge, impossible debt in my name that I will never be able to pay back.

             
“No, we both agreed that it was time.” Liar, liar pants on fire.

             
Beckett grunted next to me. “She was a shit roommate anyway.”

             
“So true,” I sighed.

             
“Language,” my father reprimanded.

             
“So what are you going to do?” my mom asked. “You can’t afford that place on your own unless you work more. You’re not thinking about dropping out are you? Don’t drop out. Whatever you do, don’t drop out!”
Like I had even hinted at the idea! Good grief, mom
…. “Eleanor, please stop torturing yourself. Let us help out. You need us. And we want to help!”

             
“I’m not dropping out of school!” Although I would drop out before I took their money. Not that it was dirty, or I was in some way mistreated by them. But if I didn’t take control of my own life now, I never would. These people, even though they acted out of love and concern, or something vaguely resembling it, would happily let me stifle and shrivel until there was nothing left of me- all in the name of protecting me or worrying about me. I couldn’t breathe under their overprotection. I couldn’t live. “I will be fine. I’m just a little stressed, it’s no big deal.”

             
“All for nothing. We could take that all away,” my mom mumbled, looking more put out than ever.

             
“At least let me help you with rent until you’re back on your feet,” Lennox offered magnanimously. “Just let me pay your roommate’s share of the rent until you find a new one.”

             
“Actually, she hasn’t paid the last two month’s rent, so I’ve been covering her share all by myself,” I replied proudly. Despite the fact that my diet had dwindled to cardboard noodle packs and cheap hot dogs that were surely going to give me cancer. And…. I paid for the last three gallons of gas for my car in pocket change and a dollar I found on the floor in the vending machine room of Britte’s dorm, still I was making it. Which
was
something I could be proud of if I ignored the seven thousand dollar debt hanging like a guillotine over my neck.

             
Well, I was proud until the collective gasp at the table made me feel like the biggest sucker for putting up with Tara the Terrorist for as long as I did.

             
“Two months?” my dad echoed. “No wonder you kicked her out!”

             
“Yep,” I suddenly couldn’t look anyone in the eye.

             
“Way to stand up for yourself, Els!” Lennox praised proudly.

             
Oh gosh.

             
“Huh, I heard that she checked into re-“ I kicked Beckett’s shin under the table and shot him the evil eye. He, of course, returned the dirty look but at least he finished with “Re-max. I heard she wanted to buy a house from Re-max.”

             
Clever idiot.

             
“I had not heard that rumor,” I mumbled truthfully. “But you’re the one with your ear to the ground.”

             
“So where’s she going to stay until then?” My dad asked, looking as well as sounding confused.

             
“I have no idea,” another truthful answer. “But she’s not my problem anymore.” Not exactly the truth. Not only was she my problem, her problems
were my problems
.

             
“Oh, honey, you did the right thing,” my mother offered.

             
To that I snorted before I could stop myself. When she gave me a questioning look I mumbled, a very unconvincing, “I just feel bad.”

             
“You know kiddo, mom and I would be happy to cover her side of the rent so you don’t have to find another roommate. We could also keep you from feeling strapped.” My dad’s deep blue eyes sparkled sincerely from across the table.

             
They meant well, I knew they meant well. It was just…. too much. Kids couldn’t wait for college for a myriad of reasons, most were to get away from their parents. And I was no exception. But it wasn’t like I had these terrible parents. They were just…. overwhelming. And before I was even halfway through high school I was suffocating under their strict, heavy-handed rule. Throw in my three guard-dog brothers and there was nothing left of me. Of
me
. When I graduated high school I was lost. I had no idea who I was, what I wanted in life or what I was going to do to get myself under my own control. Fast forward two years and I still didn’t know. But I was better, I was breathing and I was learning.

             
Accepting their money would be accepting that life I struggled so hard to shed. I couldn’t do it. And I couldn’t ask for help with Fin. This was my life, these were my problems. If I had any hope in hell of figuring out who I was and what I wanted out of life it started now, it started with these things.

             
“Thank you, really,” I gave them a sincere, adoring smile that I actually felt. “I don’t need it though. I’m going to get another roommate before the end of this month and I already picked up a sEcond job with flexible hours that is paying great.” It’s also not paying me in cash, just erasing a debt I shouldn’t owe in the first place. But those were small, minute details. When my mom opened her mouth to object to the idea of me working more I quickly cut in, “Actually the work load is really easy and I can do a lot of it throughout the day so I’m not cutting into study time. Plus my boss is really understanding when things come up. If I need time off, he will give it to me.”

             
“Where is it?” Grayson asked, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

             
“What?” Not the cleverest response.

             
“Where’s the job?” Grayson demanded.

             
“Why?” I sputtered, not at all liking the angry glint in Grayson’s eyes.

             
“I think what he’s trying to ask, Els, is what is the job?” Lennox asked from across the table, his arms still folded, his biceps bulging and straining.

             
“Yes, honey, what is the job?” My mom asked, still sounding concerned.

             
I felt the color drain from my face and my hands start to tremble under the table. I was in no way prepared to lie to my family about this. I didn’t even have a good lie to deliver. And while I stared back at all their intensely concerned faces my brain struggled relentlessly to come up with an excuse that would both check out and not require them to actually check up on me!

             
Which meant I was so screwed.

             
Beckett jumped into my rescue, “What they want to know is if you’re stripping for your education?” I gave him a blank look to both appear innocent and buy myself a little more time.
Was that our waitress carrying a huge tray of food our way?
“Did you resort to becoming a stripper, Ellie? To pay for school? No job is as easy as you described and pays well, so give up the details. What’s going on?”

             
Saved by the waitress. And lots and lots of food.

             
Silence reigned as she deposited plates in front of us and gave last minute instructions. This was followed up by grunts of satisfaction from the men and an “Mmm-yummy” from my mom. I cut deep into my chicken…. whatever I was having and stuffed the steaming hot piece of poultry into my mouth before I was required to answer the question.

             
Also, was stripping technically prostitution? Because if so…. I probably didn’t need to repeat myself, to myself.

             
“It’s not stripping,” I mumbled through my food, rude as it may be. “Do you all really think I would do something like that?”

             
This was met with a chorus of, “Of course not!” or, “We’re just worried about you, that’s all.”

             
I rolled my eyes. “I’m so not brave enough to take my clothes off…. on stage. I would bolt the minute I was reduced to pasties and a g-string. Besides my boobs are way too small to bring home any money and don’t even get me started on the kind of grooming it would take to get camera ready so to speak.”

             
The table fell into another one of those stunned silences, but this one was well orchestrated on my part. My father actually dropped his fork, sending sauce splattering. My mother’s face turned purple, but not nearly as purple as my brothers.
Ha! Take that, suckas!
When in a pinch with my brothers, always bring up girl problems. My go to was my period but small boobs and waxing worked equally as well. 

             
“I’m going to use the lady’s room.” I announced demurely. “If the waitress comes back, could someone get me more water? Thanks!”

             
And then I slipped away, forcing myself to walk casually until I was out of sight. Then I practically sprinted to the bathroom, unable to stop the evil grin from twisting my mouth.
They deserved that!
And it kind of felt good to dish something out, instead of just taking it all night.

             
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and noticed two missing text messages from Fin and three notifications on his Facebook account that was still live on my phone. I clicked to his Facebook first, anxious to see if any developments were being made on the message-front.

             
Two notifications were tagged pictures of him with some of his track teammates goofing around at their last meet. But one was a message from the girl that was supposed to show up at his apartment tonight. She sent a consolatory message since Fin was “sick” tonight. She felt awful about his “sudden” and “violent” food poisoning and assured him if he needed “anything” she was more than willing to provide it.