Bet in the Dark (41 page)

I kind of hated how integrated into his life I’d become in such a short time. We weren’t even together in any official capacity and yet he’d taken up so much of my time and thoughts it was like he was always meant to be there.

No, I couldn’t think like that.

             
He had three days to come up with the money for Declan’s down payment and even with Britte paying this month’s half of the rent I still could only spare him roughly fifty dollars.
Maybe.

             
I was discouraged. And depressed. And disheartened. And any other d-word I could think of.

             
I didn’t even feel like I was still tied to the debt anymore. I knew even though he hadn’t verbally released me from the debt, that I was. But I still wanted to pay it; I still wanted to help him out, but mostly Declan. I felt responsible for his brother, even though I’d never even met him. And I felt a sense of commitment to Fin, a need to not let him face yet another huge obstacle in his life alone again.

             
But that wasn’t my place anymore.

             
Maybe it never had been.

             
Plus, there was this small, but insistent part of me that wanted to be able to pay off the debt just so I could see if something might still happen between us.

             
I glanced at my quiet phone.
Nothing.

             
I let out a long sigh and stretched out on the worn couch from Britte’s dad. Stupid. Nothing was going to happen with Fin. If there had even been a miniscule chance of that happening before, there was no chance of it now. I’d seen to that.

             
Which sucked now that I realized how in love with him I was. I was so worried about Fin breaking my heart that I jumped the gun and did it for him. I rubbed at my chest, hating how much it hurt without him in my life, hating how much I wanted to just crawl back to him and curl up in his arms.

             
With Colton the heartache got easier, a couple weeks went by and I all but forgot about his misdeeds. With Fin, it seemed things were only going to get worse. I was so depressed at my parents’ house they hounded me constantly about money and stress. Finally, I retreated back here to the solitude of my own apartment, hoping for some reprieve, but I was just left alone with my own thoughts and my own regrets.

             
This sucked.

             
I was half tempted to join his poker game this week just to have a small piece of him in my life again. Except then I would end up seven thousand more dollars in the hole.

             
It was telling how depressed I was when this sounded like a good idea.

             
A knock at my door pulled me out of my spiraling thoughts and I pulled myself up into sitting. I glared at my door, kind of afraid of whom it might be. If it was Colton again I decided to just kick him in the nuts and slam the door in his face. He might get the message then.

             
Groaning I trudged over to the door and yanked it open.

             
With a whoosh of breath I came face to face with Fin Hunter. Once an urban legend, now possibly just a boy I was irrevocably in love with. And he was standing in my doorway staring down at me with those gorgeous chocolate eyes pinning me in place.

             
“Hey,” He smiled down at me. His expression was warm and relieved. His eyes were doing that twinkling thing, taking in every part of me.

             
I sucked in a sharp breath when I realized “every part of me” was dressed in a sloppy t-shirt that reached to my thighs, no makeup and two day old hair. Meanwhile, he was perfect looking, with his hair styled, and a day of irresistible scruff on his chin. He was dressed in gray dress pants and a white oxford, looking painfully handsome. If I hadn’t already been in love, I would have fallen immediately into it with him in this exact moment.

             
“Hey,” I winced, tugging at my shirt.

             
“You’re not ready,” he observed, his eyebrows creasing his forehead.

             
“Ready for what?” my voice was hoarse from crying earlier and I had to bite my lip to keep from bursting into more tears right here in front of him.

             
“For Sunday dinner at my Grandma’s house,” he reminded me like I hadn’t yelled at him a week ago and then walked out of his life with the intent to stay out of it.

             
“Fin, I don’t think that’s a good-“

             
“Ellie, you’re invited to my Grandma’s house for Sunday dinner, and she will be very disappointed in you when I tell her you’d rather sit at home in your…. pajamas?” he asked, his lips twitching. I nodded, they were my pajamas. I had a right to ugly pajamas! “In your pajamas, than be her guest.”

             
My mouth dropped open. He was so tricksy!

             
“I told you I couldn’t be around you anymore until the money is settled.”

             
“And I told you to stop worrying about the money. Go get dressed; we’re leaving in five minutes.”

             
“No,” I plopped my hands on my hips, determined to win this round.

             
Fin took a step into my apartment and gripped my waist, knocking my own hand out of the way. My t-shirt rode up with his grasp on me and he trailed the fingers of his other hand up my thigh and underneath the shirt. This hand rested on my bare skin, just above my panty line and I couldn’t stop the whimper that slipped out.

             
“Ellie, you look so sexy right now, I’m seconds from carrying you to your room and making you pay for a week of staying away from me. Right now I’m letting it slide because rationally I know I was gone for that week. But irrationally I can barely stop myself from showing you how much I missed you and making sure you missed me just as much.” His head dropped to my neck, his breath warm on my throat. I shivered helplessly when he pressed a kiss to the sensitive spot just under my earlobe. “Now, unless you want to be rude to my grandma you better go get ready so we can leave. Alright?” Another kiss, this one hot and wet on the hollow of my throat.

             
In a pathetically shaky voice I agreed, “Alright.”

             
Fin trailed little kisses along my collarbone as if he couldn’t stop himself and then gave me a long, lingering one on the mouth. I melted into him, relishing in the feel of his lips, the taste of his tongue and every hard muscled pressed tight against my body. I couldn’t stay away from this, not when it wanted him more than anything else in life.

             
“Ok, go get ready,” he demanded, releasing me suddenly.

             
I stepped back with a squeal and then turned around to either obey or die of mortification, I wasn’t sure yet. I took one step and he slapped my ass. Hard.

             
I shot him a shocked look over my shoulder but he just stood there grinning at me, cocky as ever.

             
Shaking my head I made my way to my bedroom and threw my t-shirt on the ground in frustration. I would go to lunch, but only because of his grandma and because I was dying to meet Declan. And because I was terribly curious about his home life.

             
And because it felt so good to be with Fin again that I was pretty sure all my reasons for staying away died the minute he put his lips to my skin.

             
I could whine and complain about moral integrity all I wanted, but in the end those were just excuses. It felt more wrong not to be with Fin than it did to give in and let myself love him. It felt right to be with him, to be in his arms, to let go of all of my meaningless reasons to stay away. I loved him. Heartbreak and integrity be damned.

             
Except somehow I knew I would get to keep both my heart and my integrity with Fin. Instinctively I knew now that he would never let me hurt or feel pain and he’d be damned before he let me compromise anything about myself.

             
He was one of the good guys.

             
I dressed quickly in a peach hombre maxi dress I’d picked out with my mom while I was home.

She beamed at me the entire shopping trip and we actually had a good time. It was a hard pill to swallow that when I cut myself off from my parents, I had also cut them off from me. And they were hurting because of my distance. Looking back I realized how selfish I had been. I was blessed to have a family like them. I wouldn’t take that for granted any longer.

              I threw on some light makeup and braided my hair over my shoulder to tame its rowdiness. I walked out into the hall to find Fin waiting for me near the door. He looked up and his expression heated immediately with something more than want, something I couldn’t name or identify.   

             
“Let me just grab my purse.” I said in a still wobbly voice.

             
Fin grabbed my hand before I could walk past him and pulled me to him. Slowly, purposefully he walked forward until my back was pressed against the wall. His head dipped and his lips were just a breath away from mine.

             
“There’s no more debt between us, yeah, Ellie?” his voice rumbled over me. I felt myself nod, but I couldn’t form words. “Tell me you understand that.”

             
“There’s no more debt,” I whispered.

             
He barely let me finish before his lips were on mine in a scorching kiss. One of his hands gripped my hip, while the other slipped gently to the nape of my neck. He held me to him, firmly, possessively. He kissed me so deeply, as if he was touching every part of me, as if he owned everything that I was. And this time I let him. There was no fight, no struggle. This kiss was everything I wanted.

             
Fin was everything I wanted.

             
Eventually, he slowed the kiss and pulled away. “I missed you Ellie. God, I missed you.”

             
“It’s been a week, Fin,” I tried to sound exasperated but my voice was still breathless from his kiss.

             
He rested his forehead against mine, “We have a lot to talk about, but my grandma will kill me if we’re late. She’s impatient to meet you.”

             
“I’m also anxious to meet her,” I admitted.

             
Fin cocked his head back and stared at me for a while, like he couldn’t believe I was here, like he couldn’t believe we were together again. Finally he said, “Then let’s go.”

             
I grabbed my purse and then Fin led me down to his Jeep and soon we were on the road to the residential parts of La Crosse. His grandma lived in a precious little blue ranch with a front porch and winding front walkway. We parked on the street and Fin walked around to let me out. I was fine with getting out on my own, but he had sworn his grandma would kill him if she saw him lacking manners. He reached for my hand immediately, tugging me along behind him. There was a wheel chair ramp to the front door and we took it, with Fin smiling back at me the entire time.

             
I was giddy with all his attention, ridiculously so.

             
Fin’s grandma met us at the front door immediately reaching up to Fin, which was quite a ways and pulling him down so that she could kiss him soundly on the lips. I mashed my lips together to hide my smile, she was precious. Fin towered over her; she couldn’t be much more than five feet tall, with snow white curly hair and sharp gray eyes that snapped to me as soon as she was done with Fin.

             
“Are you Eleanor?” she asked in her sweet old lady voice.

             
“Ellie,” I corrected automatically. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Hunter.”

             
“Oh sweetheart, call me Grandma, everyone else does.” She smiled at me and then reached out her hands so she could grab my face, just like she did Fin. I noticed when she had them placed on my cheeks how shaky they were and wondered if these were the signs that worried Fin and made him seek out more help for Declan. She kissed me on the forehead and while I was a little embarrassed, most of all I was blessed that she was offering me her acceptance already.

             
“Grandma, I kiss her enough, she doesn’t need any more from you,” Fin teased.

             
“Finley,” she gasped and swatted at his arm. “You’ll embarrass her.” She moved out of the way and Fin led me into the house.

             
“I’m hoping to embarrass her,” he admitted. “I get jealous of those kisses; I don’t want her giving them out to anyone else.”

             
Grandma was wrong though, I was too shocked to feel any embarrassment. My heart was pounding in my chest, my mind swirling with hope. This was going to be a good day..