Authors: Margaret Bingley
'Darling, this is for your own good. Jessica is ruining your looks and your health. A break will do wonders for you; and let's be honest, she won't even know you've gone.'
'She will! She knows far more than people realise.'
'Lisa, you're tired. We can discuss this another time, when you're feeling more rational. Let me take you up to bed.'
She was grateful that he didn't attempt to come into her room. His earlier ardour had either been dissipated by the scene at dinner or else he sensed how far removed from desire she felt. As it was, she lay awake most of the night trying to decide what to do for the best. As a result she was pale and heavy-eyed next morning, and wondered how she could hope to be lively for their visitors.
Neal didn't come down to breakfast. 'He's in the annexe with Bishop,' explained Ruth.
'When did he arrive?'
'I don't know. He's one of those people who's suddenly with you. I saw his light on when I went to the bathroom at three o'clock this morning.'
'Have you any idea why your father's with him?'
'Daddy never discusses business with any of us. He doesn't like being questioned about his movements either. Mummy knew that.'
'He'd better be here when his friends arrive,' said Lisa with feeling. 'Don't worry, he won't want to miss showing you off.'
'I feel so washed out I think I'll see what a shower and some makeup can do for me!'
Just then Rebekah joined them. She too looked pale and picked at her toast listlessly. 'Not hungry?' asked Ruth, taking a second helping of scrambled eggs from one of the silver dishes on the sideboard.
'No. I had a horrible dream last night.'
'You keep having horrible dreams. It's because you eat too much at night.'
'It is not. I never had them until Mummy died.'
'It's a normal reaction, Rebekah,' said Lisa gently. 'You're bound to miss her and when you're asleep your sadness comes out as bad dreams.'
'I don't miss her. She hated me. Why should I care if she's dead?' 'Rebekah!' Ruth was horrified. 'How can you talk about her like that?'
'Why shouldn't I? You know it's true.'
Lisa wished they'd keep quiet. She was beginning to get a headache, and although her sympathies were with Rebekah she wasn't up to a full psychological discussion.
'I'm dreaming because of those taran… you know, the big spiders,' said Rebekah defiantly.
'Why should tarantulas keep you awake? They aren't in this country, you silly ninny!' responded Ruth.
'They are!' Rebekah threw her uneaten toast at her sister as she jumped to her feet. 'I saw them, I know I did. They were running around on the bed and…'
'Which bed?'
Rebekah's face fell. 'I can't remember. I keep thinking and thinking but I can't remember.'
'You imagined it, or dreamt it. How many were there? Hundreds?' 'Of course not, stupid, but there were lots. They were running round over… ' Her eyes widened suddenly and she looked as though she was going to be sick.
'All over what, Miss Fib?'
Rebekah sat down again and Lisa saw that the child's hands were clenched tightly in her lap. 'Nothing.'
'I can't think why you've suddenly got this obsession with spiders,' continued Ruth. 'You never used to mind them; now you won't even wash a small one down the sink. You're as bad as Mummy was.'
'Didn't she like them either?' asked Lisa, wondering what had frightened Rebekah into silence.
'They absolutely terrified her. It wasn't an ordinary fear—I suppose it was a phobia. She used to scream her head off if a money spider so much as dropped on her arm. I can't think how she managed when she and Daddy lived in Greece.'
'I should try not to think about them, Rebekah,' suggested Lisa. 'I promise you they don't live in houses like this.'
Rebekah stared stonily at her. 'What's wrong with your little girl?' 'What do you mean?'
'I heard Daddy talking to Bishop outside my window this morning. He called her your idiot child.'
'Your father said that?' Lisa was furious.
'No, Bishop did! Daddy told him to shut up. Is she an idiot?'
Seeing how upset Lisa was, Ruth hurried to her rescue. 'She can't be a bigger one than you! Isn't it time you got ready for swimming? Natalie's mother will soon be here.'
'Blast!' muttered Rebekah, but she dawdled out of the room, her head bent as though she was weighed down with problems.
'Bishop's always foul,' said Ruth cheerfully. 'He tells me I've got legs like an elephant. Don't let what Rebekah heard upset you. It's when he starts to be nice that you need to worry! Louise is potty about him.'
'Does he like her?'
'I don't think so. Sometimes he's incredibly rude to her, but that only makes her more besotted. I think she must be a masochist. Are you worried about meeting our neighbours?' she added.
'I'm a bit nervous.'
'They're all right. Amanda Wichell's pretty poisonous but the rest are O.K. She's heavily into drugs. Do you take coke?'
'No.'
'You'll find Amanda's always rushing off to the loo for her fix. She tried heroin once but her husband had her put in a hospital. After that she settled for coke. Most people round here use it at parties, even the girls in my year at school, but Amanda uses it all the time.'
'Do you take it?'
'Not likely! I saw what drink and drugs did to Mummy. I don't think Daddy uses it either but he doesn't mind if other people do. May I ask you something?'
Lisa hoped it wasn't about Jessica again. 'Sure.'
'Are you going to marry Daddy?'
She put down her coffee cup. 'How would you feel about it if I did?'
'I wouldn't mind. You're much nicer than any of his other women and he'd probably be quite pleasant to us all for a time, especially if you gave him some sons! I'd quite like it, but Louise wouldn't.'
'Why not?'
'I think she wants Daddy to lavish all his love on us. She doesn't realise he hasn't got much to lavish.'
'Well,' said Lisa carefully, 'it's possible I might but right now I'm not absolutely sure.'
'Don't let Louise put you off. That's what she's trying to do. Besides, Rebekah likes you and it would be good for her to have someone cheerful around. Not that Daddy would let you spend much time with her, although when he was away you could. She needs some loving.'
'I can see that. You've all been a little…'
'Deprived? Yes, we have. It's too late for Louise and me but you're still in time for Rebekah. Heavens, look at the clock! I must get to the stables.' She ran from the room just as Neal entered.
'What's up with her?' he asked mildly, giving Lisa a kiss on the forehead.
'She's off to her horses!'
'Sorry I missed breakfast. I had work to do. Were the girls all right?'
'I didn't see Louise. The other two were fine, quite chatty.' His eyes sharpened. 'What did you talk about?'
'Nothing special, female gossip. Clothes, makeup, men!'
'I'm amazed Ruth knows anything about clothes. She's happiest wearing jeans and mucking out the stables.'
'I'd better get changed,' said Lisa quickly. 'I thought I'd wear the red Caroline Charles. That's not too dressy.'
'Won't your lump show?' 'I haven't got a lump!'
'I'm beginning to wonder where you're keeping that baby. If I didn't know how good Atkins was, I'd be worried about it.'
She bent and kissed the top of his head. 'It's all right, I'm taking very good care of her.'
'Her?'
'Or him!' she laughed, failing to see the frown on his face. Neal didn't care to be teased .
By eleven-thirty the drawing room was crowded with couples, everyone talking loudly about people Lisa didn't know and places she'd never been.
'…And when I saw her at Badminton, I scarcely recognised her. She's so thin, darling, you wouldn't believe it. I asked her… ' 'Went to Gloucester but honestly the cold! You'd think they'd be able to afford to run the heating. I mean, they are… '
'… and so I've decided to join the Belvoir Hunt. They're far more… '
'… I could have died. Imagine falling flat on your face on the piste right in front of Princess Caroline! She's changed since her mother died, gone quite staid. As for Stephanie, God knows what's going to become of her!'
'Laura didn't enjoy it one bit. Turns out she gets seasick. I'm going again next year though. It was Peter who got me interested. He's been going to Cowes for years, and last May he asked me if I'd… '
'Ghastly, isn't it?' murmured a voice in Lisa's ear. 'I don't suppose they've even bothered to talk to you apart from, "Hello, darling"?'
Lisa looked into the slightly haunted but undoubtedly lovely face of a woman who could have been anywhere between thirty-five and forty-five, and guessed by her glittering eyes that she was Amanda. 'Not really,' she admitted. 'Luckily, they all seem to be enjoying themselves.'
'Of course they are. Most of them haven't been invited here for years. They're positively preening their feathers. And they're all watching you carefully, take my word for it.',
'I can't think why. Did you want another drink?'
'After I've dashed to the loo. Weak bladder!' laughed Amanda. She obviously didn’t expect to be believed. 'By the way, how did you manage to snare the gorgeous Neal? I've been after him for years without success. At least, that's to say, I never felt I was anything but a diversion! See you soon!' and with another giggle she disappeared. 'You look absolutely fantastic!' boomed a short, plump man whose few remaining strands of hair were spread across his scalp. 'Neal's a lucky devil. Don't know how he does it. All that charm, I suppose! My wife tells me he's the perfect gentleman. What she means is he's very rich and I'm not, but if I'd got his polish I could be. Absolute rubbish, of course. I mean, there are ethics. Still, he's done well for himself and there's nothing to stop people flying close to the wind, as I'm sure you know!'
'I've no idea what you're talking about,' said Lisa coldly, looking round for Neal.
'A woman of the world like you? Come now!'
'Why, if it isn't the malicious Mr Grey,' said Bishop, his voice cutting through the conversation like a knife. 'What poison are you pouring into this young lady's ear?'
'Just telling her how lovely she looks. No harm in that!' blustered Grey, backing slowly away.
'No harm at all. Of very little interest to you either if what I hear about your choir practices is true!'
'That's a damned lie! You should watch what you say. Law of slander and all that.' Still muttering he retreated, and Lisa was unable to suppress a gurgle of laughter.
Bishop's mouth turned up at the corners. 'He's a revolting toad,' he said casually. 'What was he trying to do? Touch you up?'
'Hardly! No, he was on about moral scruples, or business ethics, something like that. Does he really like boys?'
'Shouldn't think so but it shut him up! He's one of life's failures and his wife never lets him forget it. She married an up and coming insurance broker, and he stopped both going up and coming rather too soon for her liking!'
Lisa laughed again. 'You're in very good spirits.'
'Why not? Naomi's in heaven and all's right with the world. I'm going to find a drink.'
'Lisa, I'm so sorry, darling,' said Neal, walking up behind her and putting an arm possessively round her waist. 'I'm afraid I was called away to the phone, long-distance business call.'
'That's all right.' She was acutely aware that now he was with her his guests' voices had dropped. They were being eyed unobtrusively from all sides.
'Have you met everyone?'
'Only a woman called Amanda, whom I gather was once one of your conquests, and a Mr Grey who was singularly unattractive. Bishop saw him off.'
'Good. Have you thought any more about what we were discussing last night?'
'Yes, I… '
'Neal, wonderful to see you again. Sorry about Naomi naturally but perhaps under the circumstances… '
'Quite. Lisa, this is Dr Sutherland. He looked after Naomi.' She smiled. 'It's nice to meet you. Do you live near here?'
'Just along the lane. Only a small place but quite large enough for me and my menagerie.'
'Ian's a bachelor with a fondness for stray animals,' explained Neal. 'He's wonderful with them. I think he ought to have been a vet.'
'I'm sure you're just as wonderful with people!' laughed Lisa. 'Oh, he is. So wonderful he attracts all the addicts for miles around. A very generous man, isn't that true, Ian?'
The doctor's smile was strained. 'I do what I can to help.'
'Just so. If you'll excuse us…'
'That was rather rude,' said Lisa in surprise. 'You made it sound as though he was a poor doctor.'
'He is.'
'Then why did you let him look after Naomi?'
'She had a drug abuse problem. He's good at those.'
'Not if he's one of those doctors who allow endless repeat prescriptions.'
'Naomi couldn't have coped with total withdrawal. I was kind to be cruel,' he added wryly.
After that she met an assortment of bankers, stockbrokers, solicitors and publishers, but none of them made much impression on her. After they'd gone she was left with the distinct impression that she hadn't turned out to be at all what any of them expected.
She and Neal took a light lunch alone in his study. 'What was Kay like?' she asked, picking at her salad.
'Smart, blonde, conventional and quiet. Everything about her was quiet from her choice of clothes to her speaking voice. She would have made some man the prefect wife.'
'But not you?'
'Logically I'd have to say yes, but emotionally, definitely not. I used to think I wanted a docile woman. Once I met you, I changed my mind.'
'One of the girls said something which made me think you'd brought Kay here.'
'Occasionally I did. Naomi sometimes went into a clinic and then I'd bring Kay down if there was a dinner party.'
'So the people here this morning knew her?' 'Some of them. Why?'
'I got the feeling I wasn't quite up to the mark. I should have worn my grey wool dress with the white collar and cuffs!'