Betrayal's Shadow (31 page)

In reaction to his tightened grip, he forced his fingers to relax. He hadn’t reconciled himself with almost losing the woman he loved. Now with the thought of the risk to her carrying their child as well he just might be sick. “All that time.”

“I’m sorry,” she murmured against his cheek while her hand attempted to ease him. “I couldn’t keep my promise to sit back and do nothing. You would have died in that prison.”

Her shiver vibrated beneath his hands and he wrapped her tighter in his embrace.

“I went to the doctor afterward—had a checkup—the baby was fine.”

At the guilt in her voice, he frowned and angled her face so she couldn’t escape his gaze. “It’s you I fear for, not our child. I will love him more than life, but I can’t lose
you.
Your pregnancy increased your risk.”

Cupping his jaw with her hands, she gave him a stronger smile. “You trained me, and you distracted Rasheer so I could get away. I’m right where I should be.”

He bent to capture her lips, but she turned, their faces a breath apart, her lips a tease from his. “This doesn’t give you license to treat me like a piece of china.”

“Don’t hold back.” With a laugh, he finally caught her lips, seeking the sweet honey of her taste, his warrior, his mate. Having her locked in his embrace barely assuaged his fear with the reassurance that she was whole in his arms. He restrained himself long enough to let her breathe, but couldn’t stop touching her. His lips to her temple, he distracted himself with the gentle rhythm of her breath.

“I was afraid there might be some differences with the baby. I haven’t gone back to the doctor after the first visit.” She shifted against him and burrowed closer.

The low, soft catch of worry in her voice twisted his heart. He covered her belly with his palm. “Our son has a strong heartbeat. He’s content inside you, love, healthy and active. I can hear his heartbeat and sense his moods, as I can his mother’s.” With the tiny movements beneath his palm and the ripple of sensation, he broke into a wide grin. “Very active.”

Tension eased into her expression, but a tinge of fear stayed in fine lines at the corner of her mouth. “I haven’t been able to find any medical details about the births in the Archive journals.”

His mouth dropped open, though he snapped it shut at the distress on her face. “You have been busy. You truly have access?”

“I kept a journal.” She bent her head for a moment, but his finger beneath her chin urged her up again. “I needed to make sense of everything. It’s an old machine, no connectivity to anything. The Archive just started hanging out in the kitchen after I began to keep records.”

“Excuse me?” He bit back a laugh at her annoyance.

She glanced away for a second, seeming to fortify herself, and then turned back with a lick of her lips. “It just appeared, kind of shimmers there, and I can, well, I can sort of work my way through different entries and levels. It’s difficult to get any specific data.”

Turen leaned his forehead against hers and waited. “Maybe I should ask if there’s anything you haven’t done.” He lifted his fingers to her lips quickly. “I was kidding. I’m awed to watch you knock down walls with nothing but your persistence. I love you just the way you are.” Her eyes still looked haunted with concern, and he brought her fingers to his lips. “Given you’re my mate, it’s reasonable that you’ll be able to do things neither of us can anticipate. It’s new. We’ll learn together. Trust me.”

“I always have.”

Yes, she’d always given him her trust and her heart. Where it had been a huge responsibility before, he now felt like Atlas positioned between Mia and the crush of earth’s orbit.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Her voice relayed her need.

Finally, a worry he could ease. “About us?” He placed her palm over his heart and leaned to whisper in her ear as his fingers curled into the softness of her chestnut-colored hair. “In those dark cells, you shared your soul with me. You made me whole. I’m yours. That’s why I came to you.”

His fingers brushed at her belly and then cradled her closer to him. “I’m pleased about our son. He is also the proof I need to protect you in my world, to keep you safe.” Her delicate hand slid around his neck, her fingers teasing at his hair. Desire reciprocated in his loins. Instead, he continued. She was his forever, not just an illusion or fable. She needed—no deserved—more than just his lust. “I’d given up on believing. You’re my miracle.”

“It’s about time.”

“Mine.” His lips covered hers as his tongue and lips sought to express more than his words. He gathered her closer to press them together at every point possible, needing her connection to him, yet forcing himself to be gentle.

“You can tell just by touching me?” she whispered. “About the baby.”

“It is part of who we are, what makes our paternal bonds so tight.” He murmured the answer and then paused. “Do you mind knowing it’s a boy? I didn’t consider—”

She stopped him with her fingertips. “I’m glad to know you can feel him, that he’s healthy, and that you’re okay with this.”

He kissed her fingers and brushed his thumb across the wrinkle between her brows until the frown disappeared. She had doubts, but he resolved to move her past her fear. “I’d already chosen a future with you, no matter the outcome. I’m glad we get more of a fighting chance.” He stroked knuckles over her cheek. “I regret you’ve gone through so much alone.”

“I made it this far because of you.” She gave him a brighter smile. A tiny dimple appeared in her left cheek, and the muscles in her shoulders relaxed beneath his hands. “So what do we do now?”

For a second, he stared at her, memorizing her happiness and trying to pinpoint the unfamiliar feeling that made his chest ache. Joy? Hope? Since the Sanctum, he’d never been subject to the extreme of this emotion.

Part of him dared to embrace the wave of emotion. Part of him chilled at the reality of how much he had to lose. With a mate and son to protect, he couldn’t afford to discount Xavier’s accusations of murder and the threat to his new family.

“We make every minute count.” He shook his head to clear his expression and loosen the negative thoughts. Mia deserved his strength, not his fears. “We’ll enjoy these days and sort out our options later.”

The quizzical expression she gave him ended in a smile.

That smile and the shine in her eyes, he seared into his mind, the expressions indelible. He knew every emotion from the sound of her voice, but to see love written in her every gesture was a gift.

“Would you have done anything differently?”

The concern in her voice, the need to offer him some way out, made him want to laugh, but he held it in check. She could read him so well. “I’d have found you sooner.” He brushed her hair from her shoulders, marveling in the sheen created by the fire’s light. Resting his hand over her collarbone at the tender junction of the hollow of her neck, he waited on the tremor of her pulse.

He leaned forward and tasted with his tongue what his fingers caressed. “All this time you’ve been teaching me. I thought myself beyond instinctual behavior. Loving you was something I couldn’t fight. Every instinct you evoked in me has sent me down paths of awakening to change me, to change my people forever.”

Her indelicate snort vibrated against his lips and he smiled against her skin.

“There’s nothing wrong with your instincts. But I think I’ve come out ahead on the educational scale,” she said.

After one quick nuzzle against the flesh at the top of her breasts, he glanced up and stilled in his attentions. “Are
you
okay with this? You mentioned once you didn’t want children. My ignorance of our connection has stripped away your option to choose.”

When he would have pulled away to scrutinize her expression, she held him to her. The calm, sure beat of her heart thrummed beneath his fingers with no reluctance, no regret. The instincts bred into him searched and waited, needing assurance. He’d boxed her into this life with little regard for the outcome when he’d refused to consider what his feelings had screamed at him to understand.

The truth of his taking away her choices grated at his conscience. He couldn’t fix this if it wasn’t what she wanted.

Eyes bright, she met his gaze and held it. “I wasn’t born yesterday, Turen. Just because
you
said we couldn’t have children didn’t mean I bought it. I made the decision to make love with you with my eyes open.” She rubbed her hand along her belly. “I didn’t want children with
Alex
. I love you. I want this baby and his father.”

He could almost see her mind race ahead to her next conclusion as she frowned.

“You’re thinking too hard.” He kissed the valley between her breasts and lifted his head to place a kiss on her lips. “I don’t need to prepare for you or our child.”

Wounds shadowed her eyes. Old ones, faint ones, pain deserving no place in their future. He’d do everything in his power to close the door on her past and seal her to him with ribbons of emotion so strong they’d become unbreakable. The process had started. They belonged to each other. A fight so hard and a goal so precious, he wasn’t going to let anyone, not Salvatore, not Xavier, not even their own doubts, stand in their way.

“There is no reason to fear a dark lining here, love.” He stood and held a hand to help her rise.

So delicate and strong. He brought her close, searching for the outward signs to match the light trembling beneath his fingers until her eyes closed in a soft sigh. He rubbed his cheek against hers and gently nipped her ear. “I’ve missed you. The compulsion, it lingers in my body for you, always. No respite.”

“Sounds painful,” she said with a trace of humor. The warmth of her breath bloomed across his skin and snaked to his groin.

He nipped her bottom lip and licked over the spot. “Your screams of pleasure are the only thing that will ease me.”

“Such a focused solution,” she said with a small chuckle.

“Is it only my focus you find admirable? I’ll have to work harder to expand my skills.” He nipped along her neck next, followed by teasing licks until a whimper escaped her lips.

Her warm, deep-throated laugh ended in a screech as he swung her into his arms and proceeded down the hallway.

“Your skills left me sleeping for two days. I don’t think you need any more improvement. A bed would be a nice change.”

“My lady’s wish.” Lowering her gently to the bed, he gave a quick glance around. Clicking on one light and then a second, he made it back to her side in time to catch her wrists before she could pull the edges of her shirt together. “I want to memorize every luscious curve.”

He pressed her back down on the bed, cushioning her fall. “I want those moans and screams of pleasure.”

“Again with the screaming.” She smiled and bit back a laugh. Her hand drifted from her bra to her belly. “Some parts you’ll see more than others.”

Bending lower, he kissed the creamy swell of her naked belly. The parted shirt gave him an unfettered view of the curves of her pregnancy. “All mine. My mate, my child, nothing is more beautiful.”

He swept aside her bra and captured a ruby red nipple between his teeth. Diligent attention turned the nub hard as Mia’s chest rose and a soft moan issued from her throat.

“A moan is good. A whimper is even more intoxicating, but a scream…” He nibbled his way to the other breast and suckled that nipple with vigor only to let it pop from his mouth as her cry grew louder this time. “A scream is an expression of unrestrained pleasure.”

In soft strokes, he rubbed his face over her skin, branding the scent and feel of her to him. The woman sent for him as partner, treasure and perfection had known his passion only in the starkness of a prison cell. They’d conceived their child in those cells. He pressed a kiss to her shoulder. Tonight he would start to erase the darkness from their past. He delivered a bruising kiss, one intended to drive her beyond reason, to evoke her response without time for thought.

No hurry, no rush,
a voice murmured inside him.

Yet time and distance lent desperation to his need. He grasped her hair as his tongue delved through the sweet contours of her mouth. Seconds before he was prepared to stop for fear of pushing her too fast, her hands ripped at his shirt to get closer.

With a groan, he pulled back and tossed off his shirt, followed quickly by the rest of his clothes. Naked before her, he waited at the upturned command of her hand and the quick flash of her smile.

Crossing his arms he waited, allowing her the same access and perusal of his body he’d had of hers, though being on the receiving end was torturous. Tiny flares of heat percolated along his skin in the wake of her gaze. He sucked in a deep breath and held his position. The feminine glint of power in her eyes enticed as much as the physical effect of her touch. Her blue gaze, now a deep midnight steeped in passion, shifted to the mark swirling up his thigh and around his hip.

Her fingers stroked him there and played along each line and turn of the glyph, building sensations that thickened his already painful erection. Turen drew in a tight breath and grabbed her hand, moving to kneel before her with a smile. They wouldn’t get far if she focused on his mark. His desire was strong enough without the added stimulus.

“I want to play with you first.” He pressed her fingers to the coverlet.