Better than Perfect (11 page)

“Take a shot,” Derek says, seemingly content with himself. “You hesitated.”

Landon narrows his eyes as he picks up the shot glass and downs it, then slams the glass on the table. Landon does not like being bested, and there's about to be a showdown.

“Ashtyn's mine, you know,” Landon says.

“That's what you think,” Derek shoots back. “You're not the one shackin' up with her every night.”

Derek swallows. And glances at me. His lies feel like a hard slap in the face. My face feels hot and the rest of my body feels numb. He didn't just say that.

I push past him and run out of the house.

“Ashtyn, wait!” I call out as I leave the house and rush after her.

She's walking down the street.

“My life isn't a game, Derek.”

“I didn't say it was.” I feel the slight slur of my words as the alcohol hits my system. My thoughts are clear for the moment, though. If anyone's not thinking clearly, it's Ashtyn. She'd even left her jacket behind, but I grabbed it. “What are you blamin' me for? Landon made me play the stupid game. It didn't even make sense.”

“I'm blaming both of you for coming up with the stupid questions and both of you for making people think about whether or not Landon's cheating on me or if you and I are getting it on. If you can't keep your ego in check, stay home.”

I'm not going to let her off that easy. “I already told you I didn't ask to come to Chicago, Sugar Pie. I got suckered into it, just like I got suckered into playin' your boyfriend's stupid little game.”

“I told you not to play, but no! Your ego got in the way of your brain and those shaved balls of yours.”

“I didn't say I shaved them. I trim.”

She looks at me as if I'm nuts. “Same difference. You were supposed to stay out of my life, while I stayed out of yours. That was the deal, but you keep breaking it.”

“How the hell was I supposed to know he'd ask me a question about you? What's the problem, anyway? Give me a fuckin' break. Reality check, Ashtyn. I'm a teenage guy with raging hormones who hasn't had a lot of action lately . . . I admit I jerk off. I'm sorry I got caught up in your boyfriend's game of who's got the bigger dick.”

“You're insane, Derek Fitzpatrick. Certifiably insane.”

Drunk is more like it.

“I can't believe you and Landon have somehow managed to involve me in your little game of one-upping each other,” she continues. “You know people are going to gossip now, don't you?”

I rake my hand through my hair and wish I wasn't having this conversation. “I don't really give a shit what the people in this town think.”

Landon comes out of the house with a bunch of people following him. “Ashtyn, come here.”

Ashtyn looks at me as if I'm the enemy. “Just so you know, you're my least favorite nephew,” she says through clenched teeth, then walks over to Monika. “Take me home,” she pleads to her friend.

After she gets into Monika's car, music from inside the house
reminds me that the party is still going strong. And Bree is probably wondering why I didn't call BS on Landon's stupid comment about me jerking off while thoughts of Ashtyn race through my brain. I walk through the maze of people until I reach Bree.

“Can we talk?”

Bree puts her hand on my cheek. “You're so cute. If you're going to apologize, don't. I know you were just bullshitting to get Landon off your case. I think you succeeded.”

“Thanks.”

She kisses me on the lips. “My pleasure.”

We stay at the party a little while longer, but soon I'm so wasted all I want to do is sleep it off. At some point Bree wants to leave and we get a ride from someone who didn't have one too many Jell-O shots. As I walk in the house, I know I've got to straighten things out with Ashtyn.

She made it clear that she doesn't want to have anything to do with me, so why can't I erase her from my head? What did I think, just because I feel a connection to her that she'd feel the same way or believe that her boyfriend is unfaithful?

That's a joke. It's actually a good thing Ashtyn resents my presence in her life, because if she didn't we could really complicate our already complicated lives. I'm eternally thankful the front door is unlocked, but my luck is short-lived. Brandi's still awake. She's standing in front of the computer, taking a video of herself. It's kind of weird that she's got her shirt pulled up to show off her growing stomach.

“I'm home.” I walk past the office, trying to hide any hint that I've been drinking.

“Hey, Derek. I'm recording how big my stomach is every day. I figure when your dad gets home he'll want to see the progress.” She rubs her bare belly, which is something I definitely didn't have to see. “I miss him tons. Come record a message for your dad.”

I wave into the camera and hope he won't notice I'm wasted when he watches it. “Hey, Dad. Hope you're accomplishing whatever you need to in the middle of the ocean. Peace.”

It sucks having my dad so far away, especially knowing I can't talk to him. When he's away I feel like he's an acquaintance, someone on the fringes of my life but not actually in it.

Before I leave the office, Brandi says, “How much did you drink tonight?”

“A lot.”

“I smelled it on you the second you stepped close.” She pulls down her shirt to cover her belly. “Okay. Well, I guess I should, you know, tell you that it's probably not a good idea to drink when you're underage.”

“Did you do it?”

She nods. “Yes. I'm probably not one to preach about the benefits of staying away from high school parties. Just . . . don't go overboard, okay? Or don't do it at all, which is probably what I'm supposed to say. If your dad knew, I'm sure he wouldn't be happy—”

“Tell him if you want.” At this point, what's he gonna do? It's not like he can ground me or take my car away. He's not here to enforce any kind of rules. Nobody is.

She shakes her head. “How about if I leave it up to you to tell him?”

“Cool.” Life is back to the normal state of abnormality in a matter of seconds. Before I leave I turn back to Brandi. “You know where Ashtyn is?”

“Yeah. She's upstairs sleeping. Is everything okay between you two?”

I rub the back of my neck. “I don't know.”

“You want some advice?” Before I can tell her to keep her opinions to herself, she puts her hands up and exclaims, “My sister lives hard and loves hard. It's in her nature, just like me.”

I think for a minute, which is pretty tough to do when I'm this buzzed. “Thanks, Brandi.”

Brandi smiles proudly. “You're welcome. Good night, Derek.”

“'Night.”

When I was younger, my mom used to lie in bed with me and we'd make up stories. She'd start a sentence, and I'd finish it. “
There once was a boy named . . .
” she'd start and I'd insert, “
Derek
.” Then she'd continue, “
One day, Derek wanted to go to . . .
” and I'd insert whatever place I wanted and together we'd come up with a wild adventure. Every night she came into my room, and every night we'd continue the ritual. When I got too old for those stories, she'd give me advice about girls, school, football, and anything else that I wanted to talk about.

Brandi is totally unlike my mom, so I miss her all the more. I just want to be able to talk to my mom one more time, see her smile at me one more time, create one of our mom-son stories one more time. I'd do anything to ask her what to do about Ashtyn, because she'd probably have the answer.

I guess I'm on my own to figure it all out.

I strip down to my boxers, curse my trimmed balls, and go upstairs to brush my teeth. On my way out of the bathroom, I remember that I forgot to give Ashtyn the jacket she'd left at the party. After going downstairs and grabbing it from my room, I stand in front of her door. I'd knock softly, but I'm afraid Falkor will start barking like a mad dog and wake Julian in the room next to hers.

“Ashtyn,” I say quietly. The door is slightly ajar. I push the door open further and peek inside.

Falkor is sleeping at the foot of her bed, a guardian to his princess. I walk in with the sole purpose of putting her jacket on her desk chair, but when I glance at Ashtyn lying in bed with her eyes open just staring at me, I freeze.

“Go away,” she says bitterly.

I hold up the jacket. “You left this at the party. You could pretend to be grateful and say thank you.”

“Sorry.
Thank you so very much
for bringing back my jacket,” she says sarcastically. “Now
please
put it down, then
please
go away.”

I drape her jacket over the chair. She wants to hate me so much, but why? Suddenly it dawns on me. “I think you like me.” The words are out before I can take them back.

“Really?”

“Yep. When you're ready to admit it, let me know.”

The greatest part about having close friends is that they know everything about your life.

The worst part about having close friends is that they know everything about your life.

Monika comes over in the morning with two lattes in hand. She hands me one while she sits on the edge of my bed and takes small sips from the other.

“Want to talk about it?”

I take a sip of the hot liquid and sigh. “Talk about what? The fact that Landon and I aren't getting along, or the fact that Derek Fitzpatrick is the bane of my existence?”

“Bane of your existence? That's harsh, especially for you. Normally you're the one supporting the guys. You're like the goto BFF for guys, Ashtyn. You get guys. What's the problem with Derek?”

I slide the covers off. “He brings out the worst in me.”

“Why is that?”

I shrug. “I don't know. He doesn't take anything seriously. Oh, except what he eats. Did I tell you he's obsessed with eating healthy?” I throw my hands up. “He won't even touch a Skittle. And he leaves the toilet seat up on purpose—just to annoy me. I almost fell in the other day.” I'm getting fired up just thinking about how much Derek has infused his way into my life. I pace while I drink the latte.

“He's gotten to you.”

“Tell me about it.” I look at Monika sideways and know what's going on in her head. My best friend thinks she's got a knack for interpreting people and situations. “Don't overanalyze this.”

Monika downs the rest of her latte. “I won't. If you don't over-analyze what I'm about to tell you.”

“What?”

“It's about me and Trey.”

I sit next to Monika. I've been such a shitty friend, so self-absorbed that I've neglected asking how my best friend is doing. I guess I just think Monika has this perfect life and perfect relationship with Trey that I don't expect her to have any issues. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing's wrong. It's just . . .” She lies back on my bed and moans. “So Trey and I . . .”

I motion for her to continue. “You're not breaking up, are you?” I ask when she hesitates. I've never revealed to her that Victor has had the biggest crush on her since freshman year. I've been sworn to secrecy and would never betray Vic's trust.

“No! Nothing like that. Promise me you won't tell anyone.”

“You have my word.”

She sighs heavily. “We haven't done it.” She grabs my pillow and covers her face, completely embarrassed.

I lift up the corner of the pillow. “What do you mean? Like sex?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait. I thought you guys did it on Valentine's Day.” Trey saved for months and planned this super romantic evening. He rented a hotel room and took her to dinner. I helped him plan the night, because he wanted to make sure it was perfect for her. “When I asked how it went, you said it was the best night of your life. In fact, I happen to remember you saying it was
magical
.”

“I lied.”

“Why?”

Monika used to tell me that losing her virginity was no big deal, and if Trey wanted to do it she was all for it. I know they fool around. Most of the time they can't keep their hands off each other.

“We had dinner, then went to the hotel and we were fooling around. It just felt weird and forced, you know. I wasn't into it.” She starts peeling off her nail polish. “Trey said it was fine and we'd do it when we were both ready, but I know he was disappointed.”

It's so weird to hear the truth from her, because the way Trey talks when she's not around, you'd think they were doing it every chance they got. I've heard him say they did it three times one night. And they did it at Ravinia under blankets during a concert. And in the back of his car on several occasions; he'd said one time
the condom broke. He makes it sound like they have a crazy active sex life, which secretly drives Vic nuts.

How do I balance the relationship I have with Monika and the friendship I have with Trey and Vic? The guys aren't just my teammates. They confide in me. Obviously Trey didn't want to reveal the truth about his sex life. It's such a guy thing.

I pat Monika's hand. “Your secret is safe with me.”

“I love him, Ashtyn. Seriously, I know this sounds stupid but I totally fantasize about marrying Trey and having kids with him one day. I swear he's my soul mate. I want to make love with him and he's always so slow and patient with me. I'm just . . . I don't know. Maybe something's wrong with me.”

“Nothing's wrong with you, Monika. You're just not ready.”

“I wish my parents didn't hate him. They can't even look past the fact that he lives in The Shores.”

The Shores is the apartment complex on the south side of town. It's not the safest place to live in Fremont, and there are definitely some gang members living there, but Trey has stayed away from all the crap. His parents might not be the richest family in town, but they're super close and Trey's dad is the funniest guy I've ever met.