Better Than Revenge (Sweet Secrets #1) (20 page)

Chapter 24

The swing set creaked as I swung back and forth slowly, staring at Blake in expectation. We had been at the park for less than five minutes, just swinging. I'd known Blake long enough to know that it would take him a while to say what was on his mind, but the anticipation was killing me. I had already mapped out six different escape routes that would get me out of having to hear about the gory details of why Blake kissed Ella. All I wanted right now was to lay across my bed listening to my iPod on full blast so that it could drown out my thoughts.

Maybe if I bang my head against the wall a few times I'll get amnesia and forget that Blake and I had ever dated.

Blake cleared his throat, and met my eyes. “This summer, before school started, I was walking home from your house and I met Ella. She was lost so I walked her home. I didn't think I needed to tell you about that because it's not like anything happened. We just talked about school, and I showed her where the bus stop was. She told me about Lena and how she was scared that she wouldn't fit in. Everything was completely innocent. I couldn't let her go around not knowing anyone, so I gave her my number and told her that she could call me if she ever got bored or lost again. I know how it feels to be new to a school, and to go around feeling like an outcast. That's how I felt when I first moved here, and I didn't want anyone else to have to go through that.”

“Did you think that I wouldn't understand that? Why didn't you introduce her to me?”

“I don't know. I just, we do everything together, you know? I love that, don't get me wrong, but being around the same person constantly can get tiring. We have all the same friends, we used to hang out every day during the summer, and I guess I just felt suffocated.” He dragged his hand through his hair, effectively messing it up, and causing each black strand to stick up in a way that made him resemble a peacock.

“What the hell, Blake? That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard! If I was suffocating you then why'd you come over every day? No one was forcing you to spend time with me!” My voice shook as I yelled, echoing slightly and enhancing in the silence around us.

“I came over because I loved you. I still do. I was confused. You're the first long term girlfriend I've ever had. I love you, but last summer, maybe the reason I didn't tell you about Ella was because if I told you, then my feelings for her might have become real. I felt guilty. I liked her, but I thought it was just as a friend.”

“Well, in that case I'm glad you didn't tell me about her. What if we had become friends? After all she is only a year younger than us. We could have been friends. That probably would have hurt more than this does. If we had become friends, and then I had found out about this, I would have been devastated.” Blake stood from his swing, moving so that he was crouched down in front of me, staring into my eyes. He reached to touch my face, but I moved my head back, slapping his hand away. “Do not touch me.”

Blake's hand dropped, and he sighed deeply, but remained squatted in front of me. “I never should have kissed her back. She didn't know that I was dating you; she didn't know anything about you.”

“For a smart guy, you really are stupid,” I mumbled, scared that talking at a normal level would make my wet eyes spill over and he'd see that he had the power to hurt me.

“How?”

“If you're hanging out with a girl and hiding the fact that you have a girlfriend, then there is obviously something going on; especially if you were hiding the girl from said girlfriend.”

“I wasn't hiding her.”

“Sure you weren't.” I rolled my eyes at his idiocy. “The thing I'm curious about is how Brianna comes into all of this.”

Blake pushed backwards so that he was sitting on the mulch in front of my swing. “A few days after I had walked her home, Ella called me and asked if I would show her around the neighborhood. You had gone out of town for the week to visit your grandparents, so I had nothing to do and I said yes. We came here, and then we walked to get ice cream, and we bumped into Brianna at the ice cream parlor with Anya. Ella mentioned something about Brianna's outfit so I introduced them. It was nothing really. After that, Ella and I hung out until you got back, and I suppose that was when she started hanging out with Brianna.”

“So when did you kiss her?”

“You mean when did she kiss me?” he corrected. “It was the day before school started. She came to my house to see if I wanted to hang out with her, and she kissed me. We were talking about school on my porch, and I was telling her what teachers she wouldn't want to get. We were just laughing and joking around, when she got a call from someone. Looking back, it had to of been from Brianna, because whenever Lena or her parents called she would ignore it.

“When she answered the call, she excused herself and left for a moment. When she came back she said that she had to leave, so I gave her a hug, but when we pulled out of the hug, she kissed me. I only kissed her back for a moment before I realized that it wasn't right, and pulled away. That was when I told her that I had a girlfriend, and that I was in love with you. We agreed to pretend like it had never happened, but when I saw her on the first day of school she was ignoring me. I felt bad, but when she kissed me I felt nothing. It couldn't even compare to how I feel when I'm with you.”

I could feel his eyes piercing into me, but I refused to look up. I knew that he was waiting to see how I would respond to that, but I didn't even know how to. A few tears had escaped from my eyes and were trailing down my cheeks, but I didn't wipe them away. I just let them stain my skin. I was hoping that Blake hadn't noticed them yet, and that when he stopped staring at me, I could wipe them away quickly and pretend that they had never existed.

“Violet, I love you. I made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes.”

I didn't know how to respond to that, so instead of speaking I just continued to look at the ground. My disheveled hair hung down, covering my face like a veil. Shielding my vulnerability from Blake's eyes.

“Please say something.”

“Something.”

An exasperated sigh escaped from him. “I'm serious, Vi. Tell me what you're thinking.”

“I think that you're an asshole. I think that you don't really care what I think, because if you did, then you wouldn't have lied to me from the start.”

“I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

“That's bullshit. If you didn't mean to hurt me, then you would have told me about the kiss from the beginning. By hiding it from me for two months, it shows that you did feel something. People who have nothing to hide tell the truth; and you lied.”

“You can't honestly believe that.”

Ignoring his comment, I spoke again. “A wise man once said, 'If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn't have fallen for the second.'“

“That isn't applicable to this situation, because I don't love her. I love you. I had a small crush on her for a few weeks. That's all! Can you honestly tell me that you haven't had a small crush on someone while we've been dating?”

“Yes, I can! Besides, even if I did, I wouldn't have made out with them and then lied about it for two months!”

“But I love you! Only you. What don't you understand about that?”

Suddenly, I did something that signified the end of our relationship. I brought my hand up, and slapped him so hard across the face that the sound resonated in my ears for a moment before everything went silent. “I don't understand why you keep lying to me. If you loved me, then you wouldn't have hurt me like this. I hate people that string others along just to play with their emotions and to deceive them. How could you do that to me?”

Blake grabbed my hand, pulling me up and off of the swing as he stood up.

“Don't touch me, not now, not ever.” I tried to shrug out of his grasp, but his grip only tightened as he pulled me close to him. He hugged me, tucking his head into the hollow space between my shoulder and neck.

“Violet, please give me another chance. It's always been you. I'm an idiot. I love you.” His warm breath sent chills down my numb body.

“You're right.”

“I am?” he asked, sounding shocked.

“Yeah, you are an idiot.” My throat felt like it was trying to close as the next words formed on my tongue. “I hate you.”

Blake's arms loosened, and I took advantage of the situation, shoving him away from me, and turning to walk away. I didn't know how to face him, after I just told him that I hate deceitful people, and then I lied and said that I hated him when I feel the exact opposite. It scared me how he was able to hurt me so badly and yet when he held me, I didn't want him to ever let me go again. So naturally I did the one thing that I could think to do; I ran. I ran as fast as my legs would carry me. In a crisis, scientists say that the human body naturally has one of two reactions; fight or flight. Apparently I'm a flighter because I ran, and not once did I look back.

Forrest Gump has nothing on me.

Chapter 25

I ran as fast as my feet would carry me; ignoring the burn in my lungs and the ache in the pit of my stomach. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew that Blake wasn't chasing after me. He's not that kind of person. He's the type to wait until you're ready to talk, and then he's there for you. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be ready to talk to him again though, not with the way that my heart was clenching and unclenching; the pain seeming to burn a hole in my chest.

Tears streamed down my cheeks, freezing my face when the wind hit against them. I wanted more than anything to curl up in my bed and cry while my mom stroked my hair like she used to do when I was younger, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. If I went home right now I would be forced to talk about what happened, and there isn't a snowballs chance in hell that I was ready to spill my guts to my mom. I had to go somewhere else.

It was times like this that made me really wish that I had more friends. Blake was my closest friend for the longest time. Whenever I need someone to talk to, or just help me forget about my problems, I would go to him. I almost laughed at the thought. Not only did I just lose my boyfriend, but I also lost my best friend too.

Slowing down, I came to stop, crouching down until my head was tucked into my knees. Oddly, it was the first time that I felt sheltered all day. Crouched down like this, folded into myself, I finally felt closed off from the world around me. The vulnerable mess that I've seemed to turn into lately had finally had enough. In the past I had been my own friend, but now I couldn't believe that I was relying on Blake for everything. Maybe he was right, I had been suffocating him. Not that that gave him a right to disrespect me, and hurt me the way he did.

The sound of a car engine caught my attention, and I felt the vibrations on the ground as it passed by. I bet I looked crazy curled up here on the sidewalk in the cold. Sighing, I wiped my cheeks on my knees and pushed myself up slowly. Pulling my coat tighter around my torso, I looked around me for a moment, trying to find out where I was, and where I was going. My phone vibrated in my back pocket, and my hand slid down to pull it out. A picture of me laughing and Blake kissing my cheek flashed across the screen as my phone lit up, and I immediately made a mental note to change my screen-saver.

The name “Mom” floated in the middle of the picture in bold letters. Giving myself a moment to compose myself, I sniffled, wiped my eyes again for good measure, and pressed answer.

“Hello,” I spoke softly into the phone, trying to avoid a potential voice crack.

“Violet, thank god. Where are you? I thought you were coming straight home after school. You had me worried sick.”

“Mom, school only let yet an hour ago.”

“Well, a lot can happen in an hour, Violet. For all I know you could have missed your bus, gone to walk home, and then gotten kidnapped.”

A breathy laugh came from my mouth. Sometimes my mom worries so much that it's funny. I was actually kind of relieved that she called, because I needed her to make me smile. “Well, I have good news. I wasn't kidnapped. Yet,” I added just to mess with her.

Then she had to go and ruin the smile that she had just unknowingly placed on my face. “Violet, the Richardson's are coming for dinner tonight, so I need you home soon.”

I groaned automatically. I couldn't deal with Brianna right now. “Is Brianna coming too?” I asked, silently hoping that there was a chance that she had come down with the flu and was forced the stay home alone while her parents came to visit.”

My mom sighed before saying, “Of course she is, Violet. She is a member of the Richardson family, isn't she?”

Thinking on my feet, I quickly said, “I was hoping that I could eat dinner at Blake's house tonight though. His mom says that I don't come over enough.” I don't know what had possessed me to say Blake's house, but it was too late to take it back now.

“Violet, the whole family needs to be here. We are having a family dinner with our family friends. You are a part of this family so you need to be here too.”

“Please mom.”

“If you eat at Blake's house, how will you get home?”

“I'll ask his mom to bring me home.”

“I don't know Violet. I'll think about it.”

Groaning, I started walking, gripping the phone tightly in my hand as I mumbled, “Mom please, I'll be home before eight o'clock. Blake's going to help me with my math homework while I'm there.”

I heard her sigh into the phone. “Fine, Violet, but you better be home before eight.”

“Thanks mom. I will be, don't worry.”

“You're welcome honey. I love you.”

Mumbling I said, “I love you too,” before I hung up and tucked the phone back into my butt pocket.

Now that that was over, I realized that I had five hours before I had to be home. Five long hours to forget about what happened with Blake, and move on.

My feet padded against the ground, following an unknown path. It was as if my feet had a mind of their own.

I walked for ten minutes before I finally recognized where I was. I had ended up in front of Lena's house. I hadn't recognized the neighborhood, because I had walked in a different direction than I was used to. A large gust of wind blew at my face, lifting my hair into the air and causing it to blow around like a mini tornado.

I stared up at the driveway, wondering for a moment if I should keep walking or go talk to Lena about what Blake said. After I decided that I didn't care about having to face Ella, and realizing that I had nowhere else to go, I went and rang the doorbell.

I only had to wait a few moments before the door opened to reveal Lena standing in a pair of pajama bottoms and a blue tank top. Her hair was piled up at the top of her head in a messy bun, and a curious look crossed onto her face when she saw me.

“Violet?”

“Can I come in?”

Lena nodded and waved her arm, gesturing for me to come in. “Of course you can.”

I stepped into Lena's house, hoping it wasn't obvious that I had been crying. From the way that her eyes were scrutinizing me, my hopes were futile.

Lena and I walked into the living room where she turned the TV off, and grabbed a plate of Oreo cookies off of the couch. “Let's go to my room,” she suggested as she walked toward the staircase.

Once inside Lena's room, and the door was shut, Lena and I sprawled across her bed lazily. Grabbing a cookie, she held it near her mouth as she asked, “So I'm assuming things didn't go well with Blake?” Before she stuffed the chocolate cookie in her braces clad mouth.

Shaking my head, I answered, “He basically told me that he had feelings for Ella, and that he cheated on me. The funny thing is though, I'm not even angry at Ella. I'm angrier with Blake and Brianna.”

“Why? After all, Brianna didn't kiss your boyfriend.”

“But she could have told me about it instead of using it as blackmail. I understand that the two of us don't get along, but does she really hate me that much?”

Lena bit down into another cookie while shaking her head. “I love Gabriella, but what she did is completely fucked up.”

“Well, according to Blake's story, she didn't know that he had a girlfriend when she kissed him.”

Widening her eyes, Lena raised a perfectly arched eyebrow at me. “So his talk didn’t fix anything? You’re still broken up?”

I nodded in response to her last question, chewing on my bottom lip.

“Thank god. I was hoping that he wouldn't convince you to stay with him or some bull shit like that. I've seen too many girls take guys back so easily after they cheat on them. It's sickening. If any guy ever cheats on me, he better beware. I know karate.” Lena finished by shoving another cookie into her open mouth, and chewing angrily.

My lips curved upwards into a smile. “Yeah, that's if you aren't slowed down by all those cookies.”

“I'm powered by sugar.” She shrugged, smacking her belly playfully.

I nodded. “I can see that.”

Lena smirked, before her face turned solemn. “So what are you going to do about Blake?”

“I haven't decided yet.”

“Well, you know what I think you should do?”

Shrugging, I guessed, “Eat some cookies?”

“No, I want you to stand up for yourself. Get revenge.”

“On Blake?”

Lena rolled her eyes. “Hell yeah on Blake!”

“That's childish.”

“Then get Brianna back for all the shit she's ever done to you. Show her that you're a force to be reckoned with.”

I furrowed my brows. “And how do you propose I do that?”

“I don't know. Shave her head or something.”

A bark of laughter escaped my lips. “Shave her head?” I repeated.

“Yep,” she said popping the 'p'. “Show the bitch that when you play in the Forrest, you get hit in the head by a few branches.” Lena tilted her head to the side. “That sounded so much better in my head.”