Between Friends (41 page)

Dallas thought about all the things that would have been best to say, but she didn’t know why she should. Not being honest only confused the issue. And she had nothing more to lose by doing so. She gave a slight shake of her head.

“I … I don’t think so.”

“Girl, are you listening to me?”

Dallas started and turned her attention to Maureen. But she couldn’t really see her eyes behind the polarizing lenses of the large sunglasses. She pursed her lips patiently. “Yes, Maureen. I’m listening. I heard that your sister is pissing you off because she doesn’t want to wear the dress you picked for the wedding party. I heard that you and Nathan changed your mind about going to Bermuda and are thinking about Bonaire instead …”

“And I hope you heard me when I told you to get over this business about Burke. The man isn’t worth this much emotion. You added more class to his life than he knew what to do with.” She waggled her head.

“I wonder what
his
friends are telling him about
me
?”

Maureen looked as if the answer were obvious. She gestured with her hand and repeated patiently. “That you added more class to his life than he knew what …”

Dallas started laughing. “I appreciate your loyalty.”

They sidestepped a kamikaze in-line skater who whizzed by them so fast a breeze ruffled Dallas’s hair. Paralleling her and Maureen on the Park Drive South were a steady stream of joggers, roller-bladers, horse-drawn carriages with tourists, bikers, and people like her and Maureen, just walking. They’d met for brunch, Maureen’s idea, after Megan had called on Friday to say she couldn’t come in for her visit. She was spending the weekend with her grandmother.

Dallas had asked how Valerie was, but could read nothing into Megan’s indifferent response that “she’s good.” Yet when Megan had asked her if she wanted to talk to Valerie, Dallas realized she had taken the safe route out by saying she knew Val was busy and would talk to her another time. She had avoided the possibility of any discussion about Alex. But she had maybe also missed an opportunity to end the standoff between them.

Maureen sighed and shook her head. “I swear some of the brothers just don’t know how to do right.”

“Maybe it’s not the brothers. Maybe it’s me.”

“Uh-huh. There ain’t a thing wrong with you. You just haven’t found the right man yet who appreciates you.”

Dallas shook her head with a frown. “Don’t make it sound like I’m so different. It’s not appreciation I need or want. It’s respect. Love would be nice,” she added dryly.

“Yeah, that’s what I mean.”

Dallas smiled absently. She tried not to let her thoughts drift again to Alex, but it seemed inevitable. He had not been out of her thoughts since that morning when Burke had unexpectedly appeared. It was disturbing to remember so vividly the heightened awareness that had sparked desire between them. Alex had called her just that past Wednesday. And although the conversation had been personal—about Vin and Lillian, her and her parents, Valerie—it had not been intimate … about them. That was precisely how she knew that Alex’s intentions were real. Perversely, Dallas realized now, the safety of their conversations was disappointing.

Dallas and Maureen stopped briefly in the middle of a viaduct over one of the roads that transversed the park from east to west. They watched the cars and cabs swishing by beneath them. Maureen chuckled.

“Remember when we were kids? On Halloween we’d fill balloons with water and drop them out my bedroom window?” She turned her head and grinned at Dallas. “Remember the year we went to that party, and you came as Darla from the
Little Rascals …
and I came as Buckwheat?”

Dallas shook her head. “I remember everybody really got on us for doing that.”

“Dummies. It was a sight gag, and they didn’t get it.”

They walked to a nearby bench and sat down. Maureen turned to Dallas once more. She contemplated her silently and thoughtfully shook her head.

“You know, I never even thought of how hard it was going to be for you. I thought, here’s this fly girl with good hair and light skin who doesn’t act like she’s white … the guys were going to fall out over you. I never thought you’d have to go through what you did with Hayden. And now Burke. We won’t
even
talk about those pimply fools when we were in school. What is it with black men?”

Dallas shrugged. “History. Hatred. Insecurity. Expectations. Maybe anger. Go ahead … pick one.”

Maureen cackled. “Stupidity.”

“Maureen, stop worrying about it.”

“Well, there’s a lesson here. Even if he’s black, he can still be whack!”

“I’m not going to ask where you got that from,” Dallas murmured in astonishment.

“My niece, Tasha. Cute little thing. She’s going with a boy whose family is Portuguese! You know what she says about him? He treats her nice. He doesn’t run a line on her. Now you know they’ve been to bed. But he uses a condom! I told her I don’t care what color he is, sounds good to me.”

Dallas stared at Maureen. She had never been known for her subtlety. “Maureen, what are you trying to say?”

“I think I understand why it’s been so hard. But you don’t deserve for it to be
that
hard. If you were anybody else, I’d be suspicious of your motives. But maybe you need to broaden your playing field a little. You need more chances in your life, more choices … no matter how many colors they come in.”

Valerie sat so that she wasn’t directly in the sun, protecting her pale skin from its unforgiving rays. To avoid the wind whipping at her hair, she had it pulled back into a ponytail and wore a beige baseball cap. The waves jostling the small boat rocked her and weren’t particular conducive to looking poised and cool. But it didn’t matter, Valerie decided in resignation. Alex wasn’t paying any attention to her in any case.

Alex was standing behind Megan, carefully monitoring her as she steered the craft across the open channel. Valerie could hear the timbre of his voice although not his words as he instructed her daughter, and Megan laughed and responded. Of course, he had to be prepared to take over if anything went wrong, or if Megan lost control.

The boat swerved jerkily, and Megan squealed in faint terror. Alex’s throaty laugher rang out. He reached around her to steady the craft and put it back on course. But Megan soon tired and gave the wheel back to Alex.

As she made her way back toward her mother, her hair swung left and right behind her. She collapsed in a deck chair.

“That was so
cool.
Did you see Alex let me steer?”

“I guess that makes you captain,” Valerie responded with a smile.

Megan giggled and nodded her head. She bounced up again, her energy barely contained in the small confines of the boat. She stood with her legs braced apart, testing her balance and swaying with the motion of the boat.

“Megan, I think you’d better either sit down or hold on to something,” Valerie warned with more pettishness in her voice than she intended. She
had
been impatient with her daughter recently. That’s what Dallas had said.

Megan sighed in annoyance. “I wish Aunt Dallas was here, don’t you? How come she’s not here?”

Valerie pushed her sunglasses up the bridge of her nose. She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe she’s busy. Her father’s been sick, you know.”

“Well, what about Ross?”

Valerie struggled to keep her tone even and indifferent. “Honey, I don’t know.” She wondered about Ross, too.

Megan grew restless and turned toward the cabin below. “I’m going to get a can of soda …”

“While you’re down there, put on some more sun-block,” Valerie shouted after her.

When Megan had disappeared below, Valerie got up and made a quick and uneven shuffle to join Alex at the wheel. They’d had no time alone since he’d picked up her and Megan that morning for the trip across the Long Island Sound to Mystic, Connecticut. She knew it wasn’t deliberate. But Valerie also knew that it made a difference. She stood silently next to Alex, looking over the compass dials and the digital navigation clocks, not the least interested in what they do or how they work, but hoping for some opening to a conversation. Nothing came to mind.

Alex glanced down at her, squinting against the wind and sun. He smiled warmly at her, but clearly missing was that light of interest and intent that had flared up between them four months earlier in February. Valerie returned the smile, but she didn’t flirt. There was no longer any point.

“How’s Ross?” she asked, surprising even herself with the question.

Alex looked briefly at her and then back out to the sound. “I thought you didn’t like Ross.”

She shrugged. “That’s not true. It’s just that … he irritates me at times.”

Alex slowly grinned. “Some women have called it that.”

“What?” She frowned.

“Ross is okay. He just thought we needed some time together without him as the Jolly Green Giant in the background.”

Valerie had to smile in spite of herself. The image was fitting. The amusement quickly faded. She moistened her lips. “Do you think Dallas is attractive?”

Alex didn’t answer right away, quickly assessing how to avoid hurting her. “Yes, I do.”

She pursed her lips. “You’re not in love with me, are you?”

Alex’s jaw flexed. He hadn’t expected to discuss their relationship this way. He’d hoped for more privacy, someplace quiet where he could be tender and reassuring. “I’m sorry, Val. I’ve been thinking how to tell you. You’re not in love with me, either.”

She hadn’t expected that. She hadn’t even considered it. But it was true. Valerie shook her head. “No, I don’t think I am.”

Alex put his arm around her shoulder. It was only affectionate. “Maybe that’s our problem. We’ve both been trying too hard. I’m sorry. It was all my fault. I shouldn’t have raised your hopes.”

“No. No, you’re wrong. I was just trying to rewrite history and come up with a better ending.”

“Nothing wrong with that. But you gotta take care of the past, Val. Tell Megan about Nick. Tell Vin and Lillian.”

He stopped abruptly when they heard Megan return to the deck. But she merely sat in the canvas deck chair, snacking on popcorn and drinking her soda and ignoring them.

Valerie gave her attention back to Alex. It was over. But that wasn’t what bothered her.

“Alex, I have to ask you something else. About Dallas … is there something going on with you two?”

Alex stiffened momentarily. But then he shook his head. “No.” That was the truth.

“But … you like her?”

“Why do you sound so shocked? Yeah, I like her.”

“Well, I just thought …”

He looked closely at her, trying to read into the half-finished statement. “Because she’s black that it would make a difference? Why?”

Valerie thought about it for a long time. And she couldn’t come up with any answer.

Yeah. Why, indeed.

Dallas was taken aback by the reception she received at the Marco house. Lillian hugged her warmly and seemed unusually happy to see her. Vin was home and said hello, and asked her if she wanted anything to drink. Iced tea? And he asked about her family. Was her father okay?

The unexpected flutter around her made Dallas suspicious.

“Vin, stop fussing,” Lillian said. “The poor child hasn’t even gotten through the door yet.”

“Well, don’t make her sit in the kitchen,” Vin muttered. With a wave of his arm he indicated the front room of the house, which they never used.

“Aagh!” Lillian responded, as if he didn’t know any better. “Go away. Dallas and me have been doing this for years. We like sitting in the kitchen. We’re like two old biddies gossiping and drinking tea. Right, Dallas?”

Dallas only nodded with a bemused and uncertain smile, aware that both of them were agitated. But Lillian won out. The kitchen, after all, was her domain. Vin left them alone and she and Lillian settled into their familiar routine. But something was definitely different.

Lillian clasped her hands and looked at Dallas with such heart-wrenching poignancy that Dallas knew something was also wrong.

“I’m so glad to see you. Sit down, sit down!”

Dallas watched Lillian putter around the kitchen. Dallas thought of all the reasons her coming today would make such a scene and nothing she came up with made any sense. She hadn’t visited in almost two months, but that wasn’t strange. She’d frequently gone much longer.

Lillian was making the iced tea while Dallas hunted down the cookies. She wondered if Vin and Lillian had somehow found out about her and Alex? But there was nothing to find out … yet. Not for want of trying on Alex’s part. He called her almost every night, now. And she kept putting him off.

“Dallas, when am I going to see you?” Alex asked. Not urgently, but repeating the question often to let her know he wasn’t going to give up. He’d meant everything he’d said to her.

“I don’t know. Not yet,” she answered honestly. But they hung up with Dallas knowing it was inevitable. He said that he and Valerie had had a talk. They agreed mutually to break off their relationship. There was, technically, nothing to hold her back from giving in to Alex’s coaxing. It’s what she wanted.

Except that Dallas still had not heard directly from Val herself.

“Lillian, is everything all right?” Dallas finally asked, when everything had been served and they sat down. Lillian shook her head, her facial expression changing and re-forming into distress and weariness.

“Oh … I’m not sure, honey. I haven’t heard from Alex in weeks, and it’s got me worried. He’s always so good about letting me know how he’s doing. But ever since … well, you know how Vin gets sometimes. Anyway, the last time Alex was by …” Lillian shook her head again.

Dallas was stunned to see that she was perilously close to tears. She reached across the table and gently rubbed Lillian’s arm. The woman welcomed the gesture almost with desperation and reached to take hold of Dallas’s hand. Lillian’s was ice-cold, and gripped hers tightly.

“No, no … don’t you worry yourself. Everything is … well … I don’t know. Me and Vin … we really need to talk to Alex.”

Dallas became alert. “Did you call him?”

“Oh, yes. But I didn’t want to seem … you know. So anxious. I didn’t want to pressure him.”