Between These Lines (A Young Adult Novel) (11 page)

They
came to a stop just a few feet from where I stood hiding, and my heart felt as
if it would burst into my throat.

“Jake,
how can I spell it out any clearer for you? I’m bored with her.”

And
now, I knew he was talking about me. As if what Shane had just said wasn’t a
big deal; as if I was an article of clothing he had suddenly grown tired of
wearing. I pressed my back tight against the wall, needing it to hold me up for
a second. I shook my head, not knowing what to make of what I had just heard. I
was hurt, outraged.

I’m
nothing to him.

It
didn’t matter. I didn’t want to mean anything to him anymore. In a way I was
actually happy he was finished with me; it let me off the hook from needing to
find a way out.

“I’ve
already asked him to do a little something for me.”

“And?”

There
was silence and then Shane’s voice, “He didn’t say no.”

“So,”
Jake was working it through. “Evie won’t like him afterwards.”

“That’s
the point. She already knows I don’t play fair. What she doesn’t realize is how
far I’ll go. But don’t worry I’m sure she’ll come crawling back after she sees
how alike they are.”

Their
voices grew faint and, with relief, I sighed, knowing they continued down the
hall in the opposite direction. A sick part of me wanted to hear more. As
horrible and hurtful as their conversation was, I needed to hear it. I wanted
to know why Shane had said Chase and I
 
were alike. How would that ultimately make me choose Shane over Chase?
Even if he didn’t want me in his life anymore?

From
this distance I could hear their feet come to a rest, and I wondered if Jake’s
face held the confusion it so often did when he was puzzled over something. It
must have because Shane sounded exasperated.

“They’re
damaged goods, Jake, both of them. Only he’s a bit more . . .”

What?
A bit more what?
I pressed my cheek against the wall, straining to hear without giving myself
away. The pressure of the tile bit into my bruised face, but it didn’t matter
right now.

Their
conversation fell into broken fragments and the rest of Shane’s words were
lost.

When
I could no longer hear them, I slipped from the doorframe and stood in the
empty corridor, feeling the impact of their conversation. With swift feet, I
pushed myself onward toward the library doors waiting for me at the end of the
next hall.

Chapter Fifteen

Chase

The bag
crinkled as I pulled out the last greasy potato chip and shoved it into my
mouth. I had just devoured one of Aunt Claudie’s famous Reuben sandwiches,
wadded up the waxed paper, and BAM - a perfect dunk-shot into the metal garbage
bin a few yards away. I had to admit it was a good idea to eat alone in the
library; kind of like old times.

I
would have preferred Evie here though.

Heck,
I’d prefer Evie over the racks of books right now, but there was no way I was
going to sit at Shane’s table again, even if she had asked, which she hadn’t.
So, sitting on the floor with my back against a shelf in the last row of the
library seemed the wisest alternative. Annie Kline, the school’s part-time
librarian, was at lunch with the rest of the faculty, so I had the place all to
myself, leaving me to dine with my thoughts.

How
was I going to tell her I wouldn’t be at the party without disappointing her? I
stared up at the rectangular lights in the ceiling then closed my eyes. “This
is impossible,” I said out loud.

“Picking
a book out with your eyes closed
is
pretty impossible, I don’t recommend
it.”

Startled,
my eyes snapped open to find Evie in front of me. A peculiar look was on her
face—a mix of relief and urgency.

“Lunch
over already?” I suddenly felt bad for not asking her to eat with me—on
her turf or here, away from the others who found us so entertaining yesterday.
I swept the chip bits off my pant legs and stood up.

“No,
not yet,” She walked over and stared at the spines of books that were eye
level, but I had the feeling she wasn’t here to check one out.

“Evie,
I . . .” I was about to tell her the impossible. That as of this morning, I had
reluctantly morphed into Shane’s toady for Friday night, when she caught me off
guard.

She
turned her attention away from the books and faced me. “Look, I’m just going to
come right out and say it, Chase. You can’t go to Jake’s.”

What
she saw on my face must have troubled her and the pace of her voice quickened
as she tried to explain, rushing her words as if I would try to stop her before
she was finished.

“It’s
not that I don’t want you there. I do. It’s Shane. You don’t understand how
he’ll make things miserable for you.”

I
was half tempted to admit he had already accomplished that for me years ago;
how whatever he could do to me now was only a fraction of what I’d felt growing
up.

“Shane
is controlling and manipulative,” she continued as she stepped closer to the
rack next to me. “Please, I know I talked you into going, and you have no idea
what that means to me, but this note—the one you got in your
locker—just throw it away and ignore it. If you get too close to them
you’ll understand I’m telling the truth. Shane plays games with people, and . .
.”

She
let out a huge sigh. “I’m afraid you’ll get hurt.”

“You
don’t think I can take care of myself?”

“Of
course I do. I just happen to know him very well.”

“You
make him sound like some sort of monster.”

Without
another word she reached across and took my hand, placing it on top of her
cheek, just like I had done in English class, and this simple gesture stole my
breath.

“Sometimes
he can be,” she whispered.

Evie
let go of my hand and slumped down against the bookcase onto the carpet and
placed her face in her hands.

I
sat down next to her and waited.

With
her face still covered, her voice came out muffled. “You’re going to find out
anyway, so I’m just going to get it over with and tell you.”

Chapter Sixteen

Evie

It took
every ounce I had to look at him, and then, I realized I just didn’t have any,
so instead I stared ahead at the rows of books and prepared to let everything
unravel.

The
desire to tell Chase about Shane,
the real Shane,
was almost unbearable.
Every time I looked into his eyes I wanted to tell him—felt I owed it to
him to know what Shane was capable of.

But
I couldn’t.

I
was afraid he would see I was no better than those I hung out with. He would
think it was all for a stupid grade, or worse, because I thought it was part of
Shane’s master plan. Shane’s wrongdoings didn’t paint a pretty picture. And
what made it even more horrible was I finally saw the type of person I’d
allowed myself to become attached to.

And
I was also afraid Chase wouldn’t believe that I
really
liked him.

I
took a deep breath. “You know how schools have cliques? Well, Shane takes it to
a whole new level. He purposely degrades students to control them. To him, it
doesn’t matter who you are, which club you belong to, what kind of car your dad
gives you for your birthday—it’s all about reputation. Internal damage.
If he can humiliate you or lower your self-esteem, then he’s accomplished
something.”

I
looked at Chase, afraid of his reaction, but he watched me patiently and I went
on.

“He
reels you in by acting like he truly, honestly likes you. He makes you feel
special, like one of them, and then . . .”

Chase
took my hand in his and finished my sentence. “And then he does something so
horribly unforgivable to you, so that you’re never the same.”

It
hit me. I was like all the others. How could I have not seen it? All this time
I believed I was one of
them
; an equal to Shane and his friends. Even to
Tara.

“You
never were one of them, Evie,” Chase whispered, as if reading my thoughts.
“You’re too good for them.”

I
stared at the dingy blue carpet beneath us, and shook my head. “I never
realized.”

“That’s
how it works. You aren’t supposed to see it until the right moment, until it
shatters you.”

I
let my hand rest in his. “You say it like you know firsthand.”

Chase
shook his head and shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”

But
I knew Shane often went for the jugular, using a person’s deepest secret or
flaw to play with. It was never really anything that had to do with school.
School was simply the arena for him.

“Your
parents,” The idea trembled out of me and I felt Chase’s hand stiffen around
mine. “He used the accident against you?”

Chase
said nothing but I could see a dark haze settle over the brown eyes that had
been so tender for my sake.

“I’m
so sorry. That’s unspeakable. Losing your parents isn’t a reason to outcast
someone.”

We
had a few minutes before the bell would ring and we picked ourselves up off the
floor. I couldn’t seem to let his hand go as we left the library and made our
way to the hallway, preparing to slip back downstairs to our lockers. I didn’t
care if Shane saw us, or anyone else for that matter. As far as I was concerned,
I wasn’t his anymore. I wasn’t Chase’s either—not yet—but
everything that exuded from this boy next to me was more genuine than anything
Shane had ever offered me.

On
a whim, I went with my tornado of thoughts, figuring we’d gotten this
far—why stop?

“Did
Shane and Jake happen to come up here before me?”

“No.
I was alone the whole time.” Chase walked at a slow and comforting pace, and at
this point, being late to our next class was the last thing on my mind.

My
day had been filled with bad feelings since the start, so I shook this one off
for the moment, convincing myself it was nothing and thankful they hadn’t found
Chase alone in the library to torment. Besides, Jake was with Shane, and if I
knew Jake well enough, he wouldn’t agree to go in on anything too malevolent. I
hoped.

But
their words came back to me. I had to figure out what they meant, especially
the part about damaged goods, which brought a disturbing feeling to my heart.
Clearly, I knew how I fit into that category, but I could keep that to myself
forever if I had to. I stole a glance at Chase as we neared the top of the main
staircase, and wondered why a quiet, sensitive person like him deserved to be
labeled as Shane so snidely did.

The
main foyer was full as we descended. Instead of going our separate ways, Chase
followed me to my locker, his hand still wrapped around my own. I expected to
see Tara leaning against hers, waiting for me to show up, but the row was
empty. She probably grew bored with

Max
and Sienna, and finished up early.

“Will
you be home later?” Chase asked out of the blue, his watchful eyes on the
lookout for any of Shane’s spying friends.

“I
was planning on it. Do you want to go over the timeline?”

All
I could do was stare back into his soft, brown eyes. When the sound of a locker
shutting a few feet away shook me out of my trance, I felt the red flush
fanning its way up my neck.

“I
need to talk. I could text you instead if it’s not a good time.”

I
fumbled with my thoughts, believing, at first, that he wanted to talk about the
project.

There
was a drastic difference between what I wanted to say and what I shouldn’t, but
God help me, I went with the second. “Do you remember how to get to my house?”

I
watched his neck as he swallowed, how the rise and plummet of his Adam’s apple
met the knot of his tie against the starched collar of his uniform. His eyes
darted back out into the hallway before accepting my invitation with a nod.

“Four
o’clock?”

I
turned and stared into my locker, hyperventilating. I had just invited Chase
Mitman over to my house—my practically empty, bare, dysfunctional, lonely
house—after spilling nearly all of Shane’s pathetic secrets upstairs.

My
heart began to race as determined footsteps approached from a distance. I
closed my eyes and searched my memory of all the faces around us just a minute
ago.
Someone had
overheard. Someone told Shane, and now he’s coming
for a confrontation.
But it wasn’t my locker the shoes slowed in front of,
and when I looked over, it wasn’t Shane or any other student with super-sonic
hearing.

 
Professor Coleman’s face bore a mask of
consternation as he stood in front of Chase with his arms folded tightly across
his suit.