Between Us: Sex on the Beach (16 page)

I shook my head, not bothering to finish the sentence.

“I’m so fucking confused right now.” He stood up and grabbed his boxers. “Can you just tell me exactly what you’re upset about so we can talk like rational adults?”

“Oh, I’m perfectly rational right now.” I closed the belt of my robe so tight it hurt. Grabbing the remote, I pointed it at the TV and jammed the power button down. “
Here’s
what’s wrong with me.”

The last channel I’d been watching had been E!, so it was easy to fill him in—but he already knew exactly what would be up there. The picture of us making out in the cove was on the screen, for the whole world to see. His hand was under the water, and both of us knew exactly what he’d been doing with that hand.

And how much I’d loved every second of it.

I turned up the volume. The annoying reporter who had always hated me was having a field day with this. “The man, Austin Murphy, was arrested for violently assaulting his father, but narrowly escaped conviction. After a failed music career and his father’s police-investigated suicide, Austin returned home to raise his little sister, Rachel Murphy.”

“Son of a fucking bitch,” Austin growled. “They said her name.”

I looked at him, for the first time wondering if I’d misjudged him. Maybe…but no. It wasn’t possible. It had to be him. He’d done this. There was no other explanation.

The reporter continued. “We’ve been told they met in a bar in Key West, and have been seen hitting the streets ever since. He’s even been spotted leaving her hotel several times. So, do this princess and pauper stand a chance at happily ever after? Knowing Mackenzie as I do…I’d vote no.”

Austin glared at the TV, his entire body tense.

“What. The. Hell?” Austin snarled. “Who did this?”

“Oh, come on.” I sat on the edge of the bed. “Are you really trying to tell me this wasn’t you?”

“I’m not ‘trying’ for a damn thing.” He stepped into his jeans, his arms trembling. “I didn’t do this. Why the fuck would I want to put myself through this? Not to mention Rachel? Our names and family history are now plastered all over the fucking TV. You think I’d do that to her on purpose?”

God, I wanted to believe him, but I couldn’t. I’d already fallen for his lies once. I couldn’t do it again. “Maybe if the price was right. Tell me, was it right?”

He froze, his pants half on. “You know what? Fuck you.”

“No, fuck you.” I threw my shirt at him. It bounced off his head painlessly. I wanted to do damage. As much damage as he’d done to me. “You screwed me over for what? A few bucks?” I threw my underwear at him. I needed something harder, damn it. “Was it worth a couple of dinners out at a nice restaurant?”

He totally ignored my missiles. Didn’t even flinch at them. But his face turned red, and he buckled his pants with jerky motions. “If I had sold your photos, and my story with it, then I’d have made enough to put food on the table and a roof over our heads for months. Do you have any idea how much of a relief it would be for a guy who struggles to support a teenager every fucking day? You have no idea what the real world is like.”

I swallowed hard. God, he sounded so sincere. Could he really be that good of an actor? Or maybe he was innocent in this. But the mere idea seemed like way too much wishful thinking on my part. “You’re telling me it wasn’t you who leaked this story and photo?”

“Yes, and it’s the fucking truth. Don’t you think if it was me, they’d have more information? They know nothing about us. All they have is my old criminal file and a fucking picture. One I clearly didn’t take, since I’m in it.” He gestured to the TV. “Or did you forget that tiny fact?”

I lifted a shoulder, trying to hang on to my skepticism. It was harder than you’d think when faced with such righteous anger. “You could have had a partner.”

“I don’t.” He met my eyes, the haunting look in them hurting me. “I didn’t
do
this to you, Mackenzie.”

I didn’t know what to think. I mean, he seemed as if he was telling me the truth, but I wanted to believe him so badly that I couldn’t trust my judgment. I’d be an idiot if I did. He’d lied to me. Hidden his identity. Taken pictures and sold them for a living. But despite every reason not to believe in him…

I was fairly certain he was telling me the truth. I
really
was.

“I believe you,” I said, dropping my head in defeat. “God help me, but I do. Why didn’t you tell me what you did for a living in the first place?”

He didn’t react to my words at all, outwardly. “Why would I? My previous side job had nothing to do with us. I wasn’t going to use you or sell photos, so it didn’t seem important for me to fess up. You want the dirty, tawdry confession? Fine. Back when I lived in L.A., I used to occasionally sell pictures of celebrities when I was low on cash. It’s how I supported myself when I looked for a record label to sign me. But I’ve never fucked one to get an inside scoop, and I haven’t sold a goddamn picture since I’ve been Rachel’s guardian. That’s the truth, and I’m leaving now.”

He headed for the door, and I chased after him, my heart pounding so hard it hurt. I couldn’t let him walk away angry. I couldn’t let him…I couldn’t let him leave me.

“I’m
so
sorry.” I grabbed his arm by the elbow and he stopped walking. He could easily shake me off, but he didn’t. “I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. Sorry I assumed you’d done this, but it’s happened to me before, and I just…I panicked. That’s all. I’m sorry.”

His jaw flexed. “I know you’ve been betrayed before, Mac.” He looked toward the door. “And apology accepted, but you have to let go. I need to leave.”

I swallowed hard, letting my hand drop back to my side, even though it went against every nerve in my body. “Are you going home to check on Rachel?”

His phone vibrated. “Yeah. That’s probably her right now.”

“Okay.” I nodded, watching as he checked his messages. His sister came first. That made complete sense. “When you’ve got that squared away, you can come back here so we can figure out what comes next. Hey, you can bring her with you, if you want. And then we can—”

“
Stop
,” he said, his voice hard.

I blinked at him, not sure what to do next. “Okay. What’s up?”

“I’m not coming back.”

My throat ached, but I refused to let the sob trying to escape come loose. Not now. Not in front of him. “You’re not?”

“No, I’m not. You immediately assumed it was me who sold you out, without even
asking
me.” He held his arms out to his sides. “You don’t trust me. That’s fine. I can accept that. But let me tell you a little something about myself: I’m not a bullshitter. I don’t have the patience for it. It’s why I’m still single—I don’t have the tolerance for this relationship shit. I didn’t fucking
do
it, Mac.”

“I know.” I bit down on my lower lip. I didn’t know what to think. Or do. Or say. So I settled for, “I already told you I believe you. And I’m sorry I—”

He started for the door. “I know you’re sorry, and so am I. I’m sorry that this didn’t work out, but we both knew it wouldn’t, didn’t we?”

“Austin,
please
. Don’t go.” I covered my face with my hands, but watched him through my fingers. I couldn’t look away from the anger in his eyes. “I’m sorry I assumed it was you without asking. It won’t happen again.”

For a second, I thought he might have changed his mind. His face softened, and he took a step toward me. But then…he stopped. It all stopped. “I know it won’t.”

Slowly, my heart wrenching, I lowered my hands. “W-What are you saying?”

He eyed me. “It’s time to say goodbye, Mac. I’m done.
We’re
done.” He grabbed his shirt and turned it right side out. “That was always our plan, right? That we would walk away from each other at the end of the week?”

My heart twisted even tighter, making a small gasp escape my lips. He was walking away from me because I hadn’t trusted him. I knew it. He knew it.

“What if we wait this storm out?” I held out my hands. “See what happens after this all blows over? Right before my phone rang, we were talking about the future.”

There wasn’t a trace of tenderness visible in his eyes. He looked at me as if I was already a part of his past, and to him? I probably was. “It doesn’t matter what we were talking about. The moment passed. And we already know what happens. You leave. I stay.”

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” I said, my heart shattering into thousands of shards. “Please don’t go. I don’t want you to go.”

For a second, I thought I’d gotten through to him. His blue eyes softened, and he looked as if he was going to say something to me. Something good. But then he backed away from me, shaking his head slowly. “I don’t have a choice anymore.”

“Austin...” I’d chosen to jump to conclusions about who had sold that picture to the paparazzi, and now I was paying the consequences. Would anyone else in my situation have reacted any differently? I wasn’t sure. “There’s always a choice. I chose to make the wrong assumptions, and now you’re choosing to leave.”

He shook his head. “There’s only one choice for me. I don’t need the paparazzi watching me when I pick up Rachel from school. Don’t need them watching me at all. Rachel deserves better than having her whole life plastered on the TV for America’s entertainment.”

And I’d done that to them. I’d ruined their privacy. Taken it all away. All because he’d dared to be seen with me. This was my world. It didn’t have to be his. “You’re right, of course. I’m sorry for doing this to you.”

“I don’t want this life.” He met my eyes. “And I don’t want you.”

I flinched. I couldn’t help it. “That was harsh.”

“Yeah, well, life is harsh sometimes.” He lifted his shoulder. “You live in the limelight, and you like it. But I don’t, and I won’t. This thing we have going on between us? It won’t work. It never could have.”

“I…I understand,” I said, my voice breaking along with my heart. He was a normal guy, and I wasn’t a normal girl. Why I would have ever thought it could have worked out between us was beyond me. That had been the foolish thinking of a foolish girl. I wouldn’t be her anymore. “But before you go, please know that I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just…I don’t know. I just reacted.”

“Yeah. And now I am, too.” He reached out and brushed his hand across my jaw, then let go of me. I almost wondered if I’d imagined the whole thing. He yanked his shirt over his head. “We’re not meant to be.”

I fisted my hands even tighter. I’d been so angry at him earlier, but now he was breaking my heart. How was that even possible? We barely knew each other. We’d only spent a few days together, yet knowing he was done with me hurt.

He could walk away so easily, as if nothing about us mattered, yet I felt as if he was ripping out my heart. How was this fair? Whoever had written that song about a heart not breaking evenly was
so
right.

“You’re right. This was a fling and nothing more,” I said, my voice hollow. He didn’t need to know how much this hurt. Didn’t need to know anything more about me than he already did. “We agreed on a few days, and that’s what we got. It was fun.”

“Right.” He swallowed so hard I could see his Adam’s apple bob up and down. “Goodbye, Mac. Good luck with…everything.”

I managed to offer him a tight smile. “Yeah. You too.”

He opened the door, hesitating at the threshold. I held my breath, waiting for him to take away all the pain. To go back to what we’d been saying before my publicist called. Anything besides this cold, hard reality that was being shoved down my throat.

I didn’t want it. Didn’t want this.

“Austin…” I said, my voice trailing off. There was so much I wanted to say, but none of it seemed fitting. None of it seemed right. I could write the perfect line in a song, or create the perfect string of chords, but when it came to something that
mattered
, I came up dry. Freaking son of a bitch. “I…I…”

His hand flexed on the knob. “Yeah. I know.”

He walked through the door and closed it behind him, the sound loud and so final in the empty room. I sank to the couch, my legs no longer supporting me. Maybe if I had asked him if he’d betrayed me before going off the handle, this fight would have ended differently. Or maybe if his sister’s name hadn’t been dragged into the mud, he would have given us a chance.

But I hadn’t. And he hadn’t. And she had been.

It was over, and I was alone again. This is what I’d wanted, right? I’d wanted to lose my virginity and then walk away from the guy I chose. No strings. No feelings.

I guess it was too late for either of those things.