Beyond 4/20 (27 page)

Chelsea considered John’s words, first
about
Tuck. Every word was true. Never had she known a kinder, gentler man. He was all those things and more, and she hoped he would someday be her husband. The love she felt for him was different than her love for John, but not a lesser kind of love. It was simply different. As much as she called herself in-love with John, she had recently come to realize,
in
is just a preposition, just a part of speech. That was her helping-with-homework revelation a few nights before. She had already concluded that hers and Tuck’s love was a day-to-day love, the kind it takes to build and maintain a life together. In comparison to
in
love, day-to-day, committed love was as strong and maybe more enduring.

As for the prayers John prayed
for
Tuck, they touched her heart and reminded her of all Tuck had had to endure because of her over the past year and a half. He needed divine patience and hope, and without question, Tuck’s heart was so supernaturally filled with love for Sara Beth that he was truly her daddy. If asked of him, he would lay down his life for her just as readily as he would for Lucy. They were more than any ordinary family. Theirs was a divinely arranged family, one destined to have always been, one that was a beautiful example of forgiveness and faith, waiting and patience, giving up and letting go, and especially a picture of God’s never-ending love and desire to bless those whom He loves.

Filled with inexpressible peace with her past and an even deeper sense of peace over her future, Chelsea slipped this last remaining journal back into the box. John had given her to God, and finally, she was truly ready to be His.

Chapter 15

“H
ow
are
you feeling, Daddy?”

Chelsea held on to Sara Beth’s hand, tugging at her, trying to keep her on the floor. “Don’t climb up in Granddaddy’s lap. His leg is hurt.”

Sara Beth stood by his chair and rubbed his arm. “I’m sowwy you huwt youw weg.”

Bob chuckled and lifted Sara Beth into his lap anyway. “You can sit on my good weg.”

Kissing her atop the head, he whispered, “I’m better now that you’re here.”

He looked up at Chelsea, “What are you up to, Moonshine?”

“Bringing you some lunch.”

She had assured her mother that she would bring him a sandwich. Since he had broken his leg jumping down from the bed of his truck, her mother had been home with him. Today was her first day back to work and she worried.

They ate together and talked about the usual things.

At one point, Chelsea offered, “Tuck said he would be happy to come over and help out if you need it. I know Bobby has more to do than he can keep up with.”

Bob laughed sarcastically, “Yeah, I think Tuck has enough on his plate.”

Chelsea nodded, but then pondered about the way he had said it. Finally, she became too curious not to ask. “You mean at the farm?”

“I mean life in general. He’s barely keeping things going at the farm while trying to maintain a family in town. The man’s divided half in two. I wouldn’t dream of asking him to pitch in here.”

She thought a moment more before asking, “Is there a problem with the farm?”

Bob handed the last half of his cookie to Sara Beth. “Granddaddy’s done. Want this?”

Nodding, Sara Beth took the cookie and slid out of her chair. “I’ww give pawt to Buckshot.”

As Sara Beth stepped out onto the front porch to feed the dog, Chelsea asked, “What do you mean barely keeping things going?”

“I just mean he’s torn between being with you girls and doing what needs to be done at the farm. He’s hired extra help he can’t afford. Seems to be in a tough spot.”

Bob watched the thoughtful expression on Chelsea’s face, seeing she was sincerely unaware of all that Tuck had sacrificed for her. “How long do you plan to go on like this?”

“I don’t know.” Chelsea sighed. “I didn’t realize things were bad at the farm. He hasn’t said anything to me.”

Bob could hardly get over Chelsea’s ignorance. “Now Chelsea, how do you suppose he’s kept a farm running while being with you in town at the same time? You’ve seen me work this farm. Did you ever know me to have extra time to drive in and feed kids breakfast or cut out early enough to be in town so early in the afternoon? There’s just not enough hours in the day to do what he’s doing. From what I hear, he had to take out a loan just to pay his help at times. This one’s not a millionaire.”

Chelsea watched through the door as Sara Beth attempted to climb on and ride Buckshot. He shot off the porch, leaving her calling behind him.

“Would you mind if Sara Beth stayed here a few minutes while I drive over?”

“Not at all.”

He had no doubt that she had finally given her heart over to Tuck; it was obvious those months they were apart. Honestly, Bob was glad to see Tuck take a step back. Not that he didn’t like Tuck – actually, he thought the world of him, had since he was just a boy. In his decision to let Chelsea be, Bob was proud to see Tuck finally have a little spine about him. No matter how much Tuck loved his daughter, Bob wanted to see Tuck be just as strong as he was soft. Once they started up again, he saw something new in their relationship. Tuck was moving slowly while Chelsea seemed to be the one who pursued the relationship.

Just as Chelsea was about to leave, Bob said, “Know what I think?”

“What, Daddy?”

“I think it’s time to reel him in or cut bait.”

Chelsea smiled. “I think you’re right.”

“It’s what John wanted for you.”

“I know. It’s what I want, too.”

Chelsea pulled up near the gate leading to the barn. Tuck’s truck was nearby, but he was nowhere in sight. Venturing into the barn, she moved toward the back where his little office was tucked away in a corner. When she reached the doorway, she found him sitting in his desk chair, leaning back, studying a page in his hand.

Tapping on the door frame, she asked, “Busy?”

“Never too busy for you.”

This was the highlight of his day. Tuck looked around her, waiting to see Sara Beth come barreling into the office. Soon enough, she would have him taking her to play with the lambs, her favorite part of sheep farming. When she never appeared, he asked, “Where’s my cowgiwl?”

“She’s down with Daddy. We took him some lunch.”

Chelsea walked over to the desk, and in the absence of other seating, hopped up onto the corner of the desk, allowing her legs to dangle over the edge. Feeling a bit nervous, she tucked her hair behind her ear and looked around at everything else but Tuck.

He couldn’t recall a time that Chelsea had come out alone since that day she asked about taking Lucy to New York. They were rarely alone, except a few minutes before waking the kids or putting them down for the night. It felt good, though.

“How’s your dad doing? I stopped by day before yesterday, and he was ornery, tired of being laid up.”

“He still is a bit ornery, but what’s new?”

The break was an open fracture, a freak accident really, one that required surgery and a steel rod to be placed in his femur. It would be a long recovery.

Tuck studied her. Something was distinctly different about her. It took him a minute, but finally he figured out the last time she had acted this way. The day he had hurt his shoulder, she was like this, kind of shy and a bit awkward. “You have some kind of secret or something?”

Grinning, she asked, “No, what kind of secret could I have?”

“I dunno. You just seem to be up to something.”

She picked up a small statue of a lamb, a gift the girls had gotten Tuck last Christmas. “Did you ever name him?”

“Wesley.”

“Wesley, where’d you come up with that?”

“I didn’t. Our daughters did. Weswey to some.”

Sara Beth had recently begun speech therapy since Chelsea was becoming concerned that she wasn’t going to simply outgrow her inability to say certain letters, but Tuck knew he would miss hearing the way she pronounced certain words. His favorite of all was Wowwipop.

She thought for a minute and said, “I think that’s a character on something or other.”

Chelsea set Wesley back on the desk. Turning back to Tuck, she asked, “So, I was wondering if you would like to have dinner tomorrow night.”

“Uh, have you ever seen me skip dinner?”

Again, he picked up on some little trace of shyness, or maybe it was embarrassment.

“Nope. Never.”

She felt much more nervous than she thought she would. In the car on the way over from her parents’, asking him out to dinner seemed simple.

“I thought I was bringing pizza this week. Do you want something different?”

They had begun alternating Friday night pizza night. Every other week, they would have something healthy – Chelsea’s idea, of course.

“Maybe we could go out.” She could hardly hide a grin.

“Sure.” Seeing her grin caused him to grin, but he wasn’t sure why they were grinning.

“I was thinking the girls could stay at my parents’.”

Tuck sat for a moment, allowing her words to sink in. When her true intentions became evident, his heart started beating a little faster. Still unsure, but certainly hopeful, he asked, “You mean like a date?”

Shaking her head, she said, “Not
like
a date. I mean a date.”

He placed his hand on her hip and slid her down the desk to where she was sitting right in front of him. For the longest time, he just looked at her, watching her wait for his response.

Slowly he drawled, “Why, those are probably the sweetest words I’ve ever heard.” They were, ones he had wanted to hear for more than a decade. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

He leaned in to where his face was very close to hers. “I don’t want to take that step until I know you’ll be mine. I’m not sharing.”

“No sharing. Just you and me.”

Satisfied that she at least halfway believed what she said, though he knew it would never be quite that simple, Tuck said, “I would love to go to dinner with you, just you.”

Her heart was beating clear up into her throat, but it was no longer nerves that caused it. It was his close proximity. His face was mere inches from hers, and he sat with hands resting on her legs, sometimes gripping her thighs. It was hot, sweltering actually, and the fan on his desk seemed to do nothing more than blow hot air around. There was this tiny bead of sweat just above his top lip and she found she was fixated on that, which only drew her attention more and more to his lips. Leaning in, she was just about to kiss him when he grabbed her arms and moved her back.

“Oh, no, you don’t!” He chuckled at the look of disappointment on her face. “I’m grimy and sweaty. There’s no way I’m kissing you for the first time since you were a teenager and worry about how bad I smell.”

“That was mean,” she teased.

She wasn’t actually hurt by it; instead, she was rather surprised at herself for how caught up in the moment she had become. Recently, she found herself so attracted to Tuck that oftentimes, she had to fight the urge to step in and kiss him. As often as she had thought about it, wondering exactly what was stopping her, she finally concluded that it had to be the right time and place. A nasty barn office wasn’t that.

He drew her back in, asking, “How do you feel about kissing on the first date?”

“I’m pro.”

He was close again, close enough that all she would have had to do was close the gap of about two inches. She considered it.

“Good, me too,” he said.

He rolled back in his chair to allow her to hop down. “Have you noticed the time, you little barn vixen?”

Chelsea looked at her watch and scrambled off the desk. “I’ve got to get Lucy soon. She has a dentist appointment.”

As she tore out the door, he yelled behind her, “See you for dinner.”

“Okay.” Chelsea was running toward her car, elated. What a difference a day made.

Tuck gave Chelsea enough time to pick up Sara Beth before heading down to see Bob. He wasn’t nervous exactly, but a bit uneasy. He had never asked for a girl’s hand in marriage before, especially one whose dad would have just as soon shot him a few years before. In those first years, he had stayed clear of Bob as much as possible, but once Chelsea came home and they were forced to be around each other on occasion, it was uncomfortable at first but eventually tolerable. After John’s death it seemed things really changed. Bob had been outright nice to him.

When Bob yelled for him to come in so he wouldn’t have to get up, Tuck hesitated at first. “It’s Tuck.”

“I said come in.”

Bob was uncomfortable and irritated. Sitting around was driving him crazy.

Tuck sat on the sofa and tried to focus on the show Bob was watching, some kind of wilderness show, something the girls would never let him watch. Easily able to put off the inevitable, he sat back and watched for a while. Neither talked.

When the show was over, Bob muted the TV but didn’t turn it off. He turned to Tuck, asking with a slight grin, “So, checking in on me again?”

Bob suspected otherwise. There was something different in Chelsea’s demeanor when she ran in to grab Sara Beth. She had kissed him hard on the cheek and said, “Thank you, Daddy.” It meant something. All he said was, “No problem, Sunshine.” That was the first time he had called her that since before John’s illness.

“Not exactly checking in.”

“Then why,
exactly
?”

“I’m gonna ask Chelsea to marry me.”

“Hmm. Been a pretty long courtship. Can’t say that I’m too surprised about it.”

“I suppose not.” Since Bob was in the car when John asked him to wait for Chelsea, he had always assumed Bob knew.

“Just so you know, this has nothing to do with John asking me to wait for her. I would have married her long before John if she would have given me another chance.”

“I know that.”

Bob liked Tuck as well as any man he had known, better probably than most. No matter how much he cared about John there at the end, he would still have to say that Tuck was likely the better man for Chelsea. As much as Chelsea and John had loved each other, what she could have with Tuck would be lasting. Sadly, she and John never really had a chance.

When Bob said so little, Tuck wasn’t sure exactly what else to say. Bob and John had become such close friends that it certainly made this more awkward than your average talking-with-the-girl’s-dad conversation. Everything about his and Chelsea’s relationship was so convoluted, polluted even by John, that this moment caused Tuck a moment of regret. Maybe he shouldn’t have come. The only reason he did was that he had every intention of asking her to marry him on their first date, and since he had made such a mess of their early courtship, he wanted to do things as properly as possible.

He stood. “Well, I’ll head on out.”

“Sit for a minute, won’t you, son?” Bob said with a smile. “I’m just trying to collect my thoughts here.”

Tuck sat. And he sat. Bob said nothing still, but clearly he wanted to.

Finally, Tuck assured him, “I hope you know I’ll take good care of her and the girls.”

Waving his hand, Bob said, “I know all that. Tuck, you’re about the best young man I’ve ever known, and I know you’ll be good to Chelsea.”

He never doubted that. The fact that Chelsea and the girls would be right next door only sweetened the pot for him.

“I wanted to tell you something that few people know. I think you need to know.”

Tuck was intrigued. Sure, Bob had been really nice to him, but never exactly talkative. “What’s that?”

“I was seeing another girl when Gail got pregnant. We were kind of backwards from you. My girl was at school, and Gail was back here at home. Like you did Chelsea, I really hurt that girl.”

Tuck said nothing. Honestly, he couldn’t if he wanted to, and the only thing that came to mind was wondering if Chelsea knew.