Beyond Carousel (29 page)

As daylight approached I encountered a different problem. The glow of the fires was diminishing with the rising sun. All around me the smoke took on a yellowy orange. I had to squint through stinging eyes to make out the red of the city, until eventually I lost it altogether.

I stopped and stood on the road like a flashing neon loser. Without the city to guide me I was screwed. I turned in a circle and tried to find the red. There were two directions in which the light seemed brighter. One was the city, the other was the sunrise. But I couldn't tell them apart. Heading east towards the sun was what I wanted. That was where the river lay. But if I chose wrong I could end up heading straight for the fire. I lingered for a moment. My head was thumping and it was hard to concentrate. Suddenly I thought I could see a third light from behind me and got totally disorientated.

But it was definitely there. A beam of soft, steady light that was coming towards me. I felt all warm and drowsy – as if I was in some cliché death scene. There was a noise then too. A horn, long and hypnotic. When the light was too bright to keep looking I turned away and waited.

Abruptly the horn stopped. Instead I heard a door open and felt the lights dim down. There was a familiar ute idling in front of me.

‘Ed?' I asked.

The door shut and there were footsteps.

‘Nox?' said a voice that wasn't Ed's.

‘Oh wow, it
is
you. Are you having a disco out here or something?'

A face appeared in front of me. Tanned and boyish. I recognised the smile, but it was made unfamiliar by smoke and a large pair of swimming goggles.

‘Tommy?' I asked, confused.

‘Oh sorry. Yeah it's me. Just with goggles for the smoke,' said Tommy.

‘Isn't that Ed's car?' I asked.

‘Man, good call. Yeah he lent it to me yesterday so I could drive up and film the city,' said Tommy.

‘You found him?' I asked.

‘Oh yeah. It took me forever. But yeah. I found him,' he replied. ‘Are you alone out here?'

‘Yeah,' I replied.

‘Oh man. You should come in the car with me. This smoke will fuck you for sure,' said Tommy.

‘I need to get back to Carousel.'

‘To your Residency. Of course. It's the same for me. I need some time to edit this footage before tomorrow,' said Tommy.

‘So can you take me in the car?' I asked.

‘Oh yeah of course, Nox. Man, I would be a major ass to leave you out here alone with your disco bike,' said Tommy.

I choked up with relief and realised how sick I felt from all of the smoke. Tommy loaded my bike and bag into the back and we shut ourselves inside the cab. Then we crossed the river and headed, finally, for Carousel.

Tommy and I cruised out of the city as if it were any old day. The blanket of smoke and chaos faded like a dream in our rear-view mirrors. Ahead of us there was sunshine, suburbs and hills tinged with the baby green of spring. We took a highway eastwards and Tommy chatted away about some of his many adventures.

Fighting the bushfires alongside a drummer in the hills. Tracking Ed all the way south to the forests. Discovering a whole community down there and reuniting with Genna and the Aussie couple. Following Ed's trail back north in a golf cart amid the worst of the winter storms. Almost giving up when a ute pulled up beside him at a lonely southern beach. The explosion in the city and his final day of filming.

I could picture Tommy in all of it. The skinny kid with the smile. Out there alone against the elements. Like a figure cut from Tolkien or Hemingway, he was this world's great adventurer.

He asked me a bunch of questions about my own
journey since the hills, and I did my best to answer. At the end of it all Tommy shook his head for a while.

‘Oh wow. That's a crazy story, Nox,' he said.

I took a breath and looked at my watch. It was midmorning on the first of September. We would be back at Carousel within the hour.

‘Hey Tommy, do you remember our interviews in the hills?' I asked.

‘Oh yeah sure,' said Tommy.

‘I was wondering if you ever came across the Artist we talked about. A guy named Stuart?' I asked.

Tommy broke into an even bigger smile than normal.

‘Man, I can't believe I didn't remember until just now. Stuart is living at this awesome beach house. I spent a night there on my way back to the city. He works on illustrations mostly,' said Tommy.

‘Do you think it's the same guy?' I asked.

‘That's what I was wondering when I met this guy. So I asked him all kinds of questions about the Disappearance. He said he was at a bus stop, just like you were, when he got picked up. I think that maybe there was a double up with the taxis or something.'

I exhaled. It was a relief to hear that Stuart had made it through. His story had weighed heavily on me for a while now. I liked the idea that he was by the beach somewhere, alone with his art as this whole thing intended. Tommy seemed chuffed to tell me too, but I don't know how much it really changed about
my situation. My place in the Residency was still an accident.

‘You're going home with us, man,' said Tommy.

‘I don't know, Tommy,' I replied. ‘I don't really have anything to present.'

‘Oh come on. You told me all about your writing. It sounds cool I think,' said Tommy.

‘Thanks,' I replied.

I was trying hard to stay positive. A lot of stuff had gone right since I left the casino. I had found the Finns and Georgia. Got them on the way back to their Residencies, along with a bunch of other Artists. And now, thanks to Tommy, I was just minutes away from making it back to Carousel myself. But I couldn't shake the Skywalker vision from my head. And now it came in conjunction with another. I am alone in Carousel. At first I'm fine. Chilled even. I wonder what the Finns are up to and think about some dinner. Then I look down at the barman's watch. The numbers are cold and certain. It's September third and my entire life stretches out before me into nothingness.

Tommy looked at me.

‘It's okay to freak out I think,' he said. ‘Most of the Artists I have met have freaked out. Some of them big time.'

‘You never seem to freak out, Tommy,' I said.

‘Oh yeah, sometimes I do. Like when I got all the way to the forests and Ed had already gone. I lost my shit on
my bike man. That's why I ended up driving a stupid golf cart,' he said.

I couldn't help but laugh. Tommy joined me and barely missed a stranded bus.

‘You know you're driving on the wrong side of the road, yeah?' I asked.

‘Yeah but fuck it. In Denmark we drive on the right,' he replied.

I laughed again.

‘So you think the Residencies will end tomorrow?' I asked.

‘Oh yeah,' he replied.

‘How come?' I asked.

‘I think because of what happened when I met with Ed,' said Tommy.

‘What happened?' I asked.

‘The whole time I was looking for Ed I thought he would be like a superhero. Or at least a wizard with some magic or something. But when I finally met him at that beach he was just a normal guy. At first I was kind of bummed. Then I realised that if he was a superhero or a wizard, then all of this would just be bullshit like a comic or a movie,' said Tommy.

I nodded, but wasn't totally sure that I followed.

‘When I found out he was just a normal guy who couldn't do magic or anything I thought, oh wow, this is a real situation and anything can happen. That's when I knew the Residencies would end,' said Tommy.

I smiled. Tommy had probably just made better sense of it than anybody.

We swung off the highway and into the suburbs surrounding Carousel. Tommy started fishing around for something on the dashboard.

‘I was going to save this for when I drove back into the uni, but I think I want to listen to it now with you,' he said.

I watched as he loaded a CD into Ed's scratched up old player. There was a pause, then the cab filled with a pulsing, kinetic beat. Tommy beamed at me from behind the wheel.

‘What is this?' I asked.

‘Oh man, this is teenage wasteland!' said Tommy.

‘What?' I asked.

‘It's “Baba O'Riley” by The Who,' said Tommy, beaming.

He cranked the volume and lowered the windows. The bassline dropped like a giant rumble of thunder. I knew the song. An epic stadium anthem from the seventies. Adopted by generation after generation as an ironic celebration of their youth.

‘This is our victory song, Nox!' roared Tommy.

He screamed out into the empty golden streets. I looked at him and laughed and let myself believe it was true. That we had indeed made it through the rollicking teenage wasteland. Together we sang and shouted and swung dramatically across the barren car parks of Carousel.

We found Taylor and Lizzy outside of the centre, surrounded by pit bulls.

Their bikes and bags lay in a savaged line along the car park. Sophie and Chessboard were gone. The Finns were alone and backed up against the long, stark wall of Target. Just a solitary can of bug spray stood between them and the wheezing Bulls.

‘Oh shit,' said Tommy, stopping the music.

They were still all the way across the car park from us.

‘Floor it, Tommy!' I said.

He shifted gears and hurtled us towards them. I watched as Taylor ran out of spray and desperately threw the can at the Bulls. They ignored it and edged closer.

‘We're going to be too late,' I whispered.

‘Oh shit. Do you hear that noise? I think I busted the engine maybe,' said Tommy.

Something was roaring outside of the cab. It was big and mechanical. Taylor and Lizzy looked up and saw us racing towards them.

Abruptly the Bulls paused, then scattered like tiny, frightened puppies.

Tommy hit the brakes and we shuddered to a stop. The Finns were gazing skyward. I stepped from the car and did the same.

A shimmering white jet was banking through the morning sky. Dappled across its tail was the iconic red maple leaf. The wheels were up as it rose gracefully away from us. We watched in awe until it blinked, then vanished into blue.

The suburb was quiet once more.

I looked at Lizzy. We all looked at Lizzy.

Her head was down and her eyes closed. Taylor put a hand on her shoulder.

‘Lizzy?' she whispered.

Lizzy opened her eyes and looked at her sister. She had a smile I hadn't seen for a long time.

‘I saw the rest of it,' she said.

‘What was she doing? Do you remember it now?' asked Taylor, riveted.

‘She was waiting for us after our first tour of the States. Remember? We arrived back at the terminal and for the first time ever there were fans there waiting for us,' said Lizzy.

‘Oh yeah! I remember,' said Taylor.

‘Mum was there too, but we couldn't see her at first. Then you spotted her hovering behind them with this look on her face. The same one she has when she sees a
happy dog with those wheel things for legs,' said Lizzy.

Taylor nodded and blinked away a couple of tears.

‘She was freaking out, but so happy for us. Then we yelled her over and she met all the fans,' said Lizzy.

‘They ended up being more interested in her than they were in the band,' said Taylor.

They laughed together for the first time in forever. I exhaled and felt a small weight lift from all of us.

The Finns took stock for a moment, before turning to greet us. They looked tired and haggard and, oddly, kind of young.

‘Hey Nox. Hey Tommy,' said Taylor.

‘Oh hi Taylor. Hi Lizzy,' said Tommy.

This made us all laugh. We shared some hugs, then Taylor stepped back to look me over.

‘See, I knew you were awesome all along,' she said.

I smiled and thought back to our chat in the projection room all those months ago.

Lizzy joined her and gave my hair a shake. A shower of ash spilled out.

‘Whoa,' said Lizzy.

‘Sorry,' I said. ‘I got caught out in the smoke again.'

‘Are the other guys okay? We were freaking out when the city went up. Taylor wanted to ride her fixie over there with a fire hydrant,' said Lizzy.

Taylor shoved her.

‘You did,' said Lizzy.

‘They're fine. Back at their Residencies,' I replied.
‘I was on my way here when it happened. Then I ran into Tommy.'

Tommy was standing beside me smiling.

‘You were just cruising around the city in your car?' asked Taylor.

‘Oh no,' laughed Tommy. ‘I just borrowed the car to take some footage of the fire.'

‘It's Ed Carrington's car,' I added. ‘He and Tommy are mates.'

The Finns and I shared a smile.

‘Of course they are,' said Taylor.

‘Is Sophie okay?' I asked.

‘Yeah. We dropped her off yesterday. Before those fucking Bulls started chasing us,' said Taylor.

‘Man, they were totally scared by that plane,' said Tommy. ‘It was an aurora jet, yeah?'

‘Yeah,' replied Taylor.

‘Oh wow. Ed told me about those. I wish I could have filmed it,' said Tommy.

I suddenly remembered that Chessboard wasn't with them.

‘Where is Chess?' I asked.

Taylor looked at Lizzy and waited to see if she would answer.

‘He's fine,' said Taylor, eventually. ‘Lizzy let him go last night.'

My heart sank.

‘Go where?' I asked.

‘Back to wherever he was when all of this happened,' replied Taylor. ‘So maybe he can go home like the rest of us.'

This caught me out. I hadn't stopped to consider whether animals such as Chess might be able to get home.

I looked at Lizzy. The goodbye was still raw.

‘Was he okay?' I asked her.

Lizzy sniffed and nodded.

‘I think he wanted to go. Chess was always so clingy, but ever since we crossed over the freeway he started acting kinda restless and aloof,' said Lizzy.