Beyond Ecstasy (Beyond #8) (20 page)

More pressure than pain, but it didn't seem to matter. Before long, Jeni was reacting to every touch as though it was a blow, shivering and even lifting her head to gasp his name.

When she lowered it again, she laid her cheek on Gia's thigh and murmured something too soft for him to hear.

“We can't hear you, love.” Gia reached for Jeni's chin, tilting her face up. “Say it again.”

Her only response was a long, lazy moan.

Hawk dropped the flogger to the bed, wrapped an arm around Jeni, and flipped her onto her back. She sprawled languidly with her hair spread out across Gia's chest, her eyes full of the same glazed pleasure as the night he'd spanked her.

Gia ran her knuckles down Jeni's throat. “I've never seen her let someone this far inside her head.”

Not the words he would have thought to use, but they fit. They
resonated
. And all of Ace's rants about choosing the right tool for the job clicked together to form a picture that was far bigger than pain and pleasure and physical sensation.

Those were the tools. The goal was this—Jeni, stripped bare and open to him. Needing him. Because, in this moment, she did. She'd trusted him so much that she had let go of the world, and until she came back to it, she was his responsibility.

His, in a way that truly did fracture his control.

He touched her knee, and she opened her legs and reached for him. Need and want and hunger and yearning tumbled over each other in her eyes—an actual impossibility, so maybe he was just seeing what he wanted. What he felt.

Desperate.

He leaned into her, and Gia was right there, the answer to the only question holding him back. “What do I do when she's like this? Do I stop?”

Jeni whimpered, and Gia stroked her throat again with a soothing noise. “You take care, Hawk. You remember that she might say yes to anything right now, just to please you. So you don't ask for anything you don't already know she needs. If you're not sure, don't do it.”

Simple, absolute permission to do the one thing he and Jeni both needed.

He had his hands hooked under Jeni's knees before her next whimper. Pushing them up and out, he drove into her pussy in one long stroke that forced a moan from him.

Jeni arched into him with a dreamy hiss. “Yes.
Yes
.”

Gia's hands covered his, and he let her take over, shuddering when she urged Jeni's legs wider. He gripped the headboard instead, trapping Jeni between their bodies, letting every rough thrust grind her back against Gia. Not just for the sensation of hot skin all along hers, but because Gia was right.

He was in Jeni's head. And he wanted to stay there forever. “Is this what you needed? Both of us fucking you?”

“Yes—” The word dissolved into a hitching breath as she touched his face. “Because you needed it.”

They could spiral forever like that, each swearing they only craved what the other needed. It would be true, but also shallow. Someone had to be the selfish one, the one who let their partner give. The one who
took
.

For Jeni, he'd embrace selfishness.

And oh, it was so easy. To fall into the way she felt around him, the tight, hot clasp of her pussy, the primal satisfaction of the helpless, hungry noises she made when he fucked deep. “That's right,” he groaned. “I need you just like this. Open and wet for me. All mine, to fuck as hard and as rough and as long as I want. Tell me, Jeni. Say it.”

“Yours,” she whispered, a hoarse sound that seemed torn from her throat. “I have been forever. Longer than you know.”

That was a dangerous fucking thought, seductive in all sorts of ways that played hell with his self-control, and he had to cling to Gia's reminder.
Take care.

Easier said than fucking well done, with Jeni squeezing his cock like just the thought of belonging to him was enough to get her off.

He dragged in a breath between clenched teeth. “Did you ever touch yourself, Jeni? Did you slide your fingers between your legs and pretend they were mine?”

“You know I did.” Her glazed eyes sharpened. “They could have been yours. I tried.”

So much wasted time. So fucking
much
. He drove into her again, as if the intensity of it could make up for all the weeks he should have been inside her. “Show me. Touch yourself, only this time you'll come all over my cock.”

She traced her fingers over his lower lip. He opened his mouth and dragged his tongue around the tips before sucking them hard. When they were slick and wet, she slipped her hand down her body.

Even without looking, he knew the moment she touched her clit. She shuddered beneath him, exhaling roughly, and he could see the fantasy in her eyes, watch as this moment overtook the one in her memory.

It was almost as good as rewriting history.

He seized her mouth, spearing his tongue between her lips with the same ferocity as his next thrust. Rough and wild, because she was already tightening again, her pussy gripping him as she whimpered against his lips, and he couldn't hold on. He didn't want to.

Hawk gave her what she wanted, let her be what he needed. Selfish and greedy, he fucked her over the edge and kept fucking her. He rode her orgasm until she was trembling and the clasp of her body was desperate, continuous, one endless rolling peak that left her screaming.

And when he slammed into her one last time and let the fire consume him, it was because he wanted to come inside her, to fill her, to know he'd marked her in the basest way possible.

Jeni clutched at him, her fingernails cutting into his shoulders as the last of the tremors shook her, and whispered against his neck. Her breath was hot on his skin, carrying praise and promises and
vows
, all kinds of things he couldn't listen to when she was over the edge like this. Floating.

Take care
. Not just with her heart, but with his, too. It was too soon to accept forever from her, even if he wanted it. Even if she was offering.

He kissed the words from her lips and eased away, feeling the tiniest dart of guilt as Gia gently coaxed Jeni's legs down. He'd damn near forgotten her in the end, which would have felt like even more of a shit thing to do if she hadn't been smiling like a satisfied barn cat.

They moved together, getting Jeni under the covers and snuggled down against the pillows. Hawk curled behind her, tucking her head under his chin, and watched Gia retrieve her underwear and slide it on. “Sorry,” he felt compelled to murmur. “I lost it a little bit at—”

“Shh.” Gia disappeared behind the wardrobe door and reappeared a moment later wrapped in a silk robe. She slid onto the bed and ran her fingers lightly through Jeni's hair. “If you want to demand power over others, then it's your obligation to learn when a moment is about you, and when it should be about what someone else needs. There's satisfaction in both, you know. Selflessness and selfishness. People who only appreciate the latter can't be trusted with power.”

Too bad the world seemed fucking full of them. “As long as you got something out of tonight, too.”

“I got to see her happy.” Gia smiled as Jeni turned her cheek toward her stroking hand. “Take care of her, Hawk.”

Or else
hung between them, unspoken but unmistakable, a threat no wise man would ignore. “Is this the part where you tell me you'll stab me in the dick if I hurt her?”

Gia laughed softly. “Of course not. I haven't done my own dick-stabbing in years, darling. I'd have one of the bouncers do it.”

Jeni didn't open her eyes, but she did reach up and touch Gia's wrist reprovingly. “Be nice, Giovanna.”

“I
am
being nice.” Gia lifted Jeni's hand to her lips and brushed a kiss to her palm. “Are you staying here tonight?”

“If it's not too much trouble.”

“It's your room, love.” She settled Jeni's hand back on top of Hawk's before leaning over to brush a kiss to his cheek, too. “Just promise to have breakfast with me. And I have something for you to deliver to Dallas, if you can.”

The corner of Jeni's mouth quirked up. “Anything.”

Gia's lips were still close to his ear. “Keep an eye on her while she comes down,” she murmured, before pulling back. Her nails trailed across his cheek in a shivery caress that could have been affection—or a reminder of her warning.

Hawk imagined the line between affection and violent protection was pretty thin where Gia was concerned.

She gathered her clothes and shoes and then slipped from the room, leaving Hawk with an armful of drowsily content woman. “You doing okay?”

“Mmm, perfect.” Her eyelashes fluttered. “That's never happened before.”

“What hasn't?”

“No pain.” She turned in his arms and looked at him. She was still dazed, but the glassy look in her eyes was slowly slipping away. “I didn't know it could. Not for me.”

“You mean getting fuzzy?” He smoothed a hand over her hair, trying to tame the tangled strands. It was impossible—she was disheveled, changed by what had passed between them even though he hadn't left a single mark on her this time.

“Never without the pain.” She touched his jaw. “You
are
magic.”

His lips curved up. “I'm not. I'm just the luckiest man in the world. Because you trust me.”

“Yes, I do.” Jeni snuggled closer, curling against his chest. “With my life.”

Her life. Her body. So much already, but Hawk was greedy. Selfish.

And he was after her heart.

Jeni finished writing down the last name she'd committed to memory and handed the list to Dallas. “Gia said that's everyone who's been spending money like water at her place these days.” The look on his face would have made her laugh—if the circumstances weren't so horrible. “Yeah, it's not exactly a small pool of spy candidates.”

His gaze slid down the list, his jaw tightening. “Jesus fucking hell, Jeni. Damn near twenty, just from Gia?”

“And her girls don't come cheap. I should know.”

Dallas snorted and passed the paper to Noelle, who nibbled on her lower lip as she studied the names. “It's not necessarily
that
dire. Some of them are probably just blowing their money now before Eden has a chance to get to them.”

“Oh, that's the good option?” Dallas rubbed a hand over his face. “So we have desperate motherfuckers who are about to be
broke
, desperate motherfuckers. We have people getting rich off Christ-knows-what behind our backs because we don't have time to chase them down. And somewhere in the middle of that mess, we have assholes selling us out to Eden.”

Talk about your clouds with no silver linings. “Owen Turner,” Jeni said quietly.

Dallas raised an eyebrow. “You got a feeling?”

Well, that was flattering. “Hardly. He's a talker, and he has a crush on one of Gia's girls. Keeps trying to steal her away. Last week, he told her she should take him up on the offer before it's too late.” She rose with a shrug. “It could be nothing.”

“Wait a second.” He jabbed a finger toward the seat. “Park your ass.”

She sighed but obeyed. “That's all I know, Dallas. You'll just have to run the leads, see where they go.”

“That's not what I want to talk about.” The full weight of his Dallas O'Kane, King of Sector Four gaze settled on her. “I wanna know if Hawk's taking good care of you. Because if he's not—”

“
Dallas.
” Noelle sounded exasperated. “Lex is going to kick your ass.”

“Shut it, kitten.” Dallas leaned forward on his elbows. “It's an easy question. Is he taking good care of you?”

When Dallas locked in on something, he didn't stop until he got what he wanted. Jeni's only defense was to make him
want
to end the conversation before he died of embarrassment.

So she relaxed back in her chair and let her eyes and expression go dark and sultry. “Oh, he's been taking very,
very
good care of me. You want the filthy details, sweetheart?”

“Maybe.” Without looking away, he reached to the side and dragged two glasses between them. The liquor followed, an inch in the bottom of each glass. He scooted one toward her. “You care about him this much, huh?”

“Enough to challenge you?” Jeni picked up the glass and sipped the liquor to hide her smile. “I'm wearing his collar, Dallas. What do you think?”

“I think you're wearing his collar.” Dallas touched her wrist. “But you're wearing my ink, same as him. And this'd be a lousy time for me to have to kick his ass if he's not doing right by you. But I would.”

“Understood. No one needs an ass-kicking.”

“Until Lex hears about this,” Noelle muttered.

Dallas slammed back his drink and rolled his eyes skyward. “Why did having an assistant seem like a good idea again?”

Noelle winked at Jeni over Dallas's shoulder. “Because you're going to get your ass out of here and go deal with business, and by the time you get back I'll have pulled files on everyone on this list and will probably know who to look at first. So scoot.”

Dallas grumbled his way to his feet and circled the desk, letting his fingers trail lightly over Jeni's shoulder on the way. When he reached the door, he turned back and pointed to Noelle. “You say
scoot
to me again, and I'm telling Jas not to spank your ass for a month.”

“Liar,” Noelle shot back with a fearless grin. “You like watching too much.”

Dallas muttered something Jeni couldn't understand and slammed the door behind him.

As soon as he was gone, the jovial mirth slipped from Noelle's face. She sank into Dallas's chair and rubbed her forehead, and Jeni's chest tightened. She'd been so distracted by her budding relationship with Hawk that she hadn't even
thought
of what Dallas must be going through in days.

She set down her glass. “How has he been?”

“He's…” Noelle sighed and shrugged. “Honestly, I don't know. I don't think anyone but Lex does. He's holding everything together, and she's holding
him
together, and all we can do is take as much of it off their shoulders as we can.”

And Jeni had been cross with him. For a moment, remorse surged through her, but she shoved it aside. She knew Dallas, and the last thing he would want was to be treated
differently
right now, as though the world really was ending, and he wasn't so invincible after all.