Beyond Our Stars (11 page)

“I knew I couldn't save it for you,” Legacy sneered.

“You knew nothing. Watch out, you deserve a lesson and I might have to be the one to teach it to you,” Chance stalked toward Legacy as Legacy stumbled back to the wall.

“Chance!” I called out. Both of them turned to me.

“Not…right now,” I said.

Chance came over to where I was sitting with Grim. The misery was becoming overwhelming.

“They're playing with us,” he said.

I didn't want to say it, but I knew he was right. We were people, and we were hurting right now. There was no answer I could give, no proof the other way that would show that we weren't lab rats in a cruel maze.

I knew Grim was probably listening to our conversation. I looked down at him and I felt like crying, even though I knew no tears would come. My eyes felt like sandpaper and it seemed like there was no saliva in my mouth. Inky black spots hovered and swirled in my vision.

I didn't answer Chance. I didn't have to. We shared a look. The ringing noise started again.

I pulled Chance down and I got up, gently helping Grim to lean against Chance. I held Chance's hands in my unsteady ones and put them over Pilgrim's ears.

“Try and help him,” I said.

The others were curled in various positions along the floor.

I walked, or rather stumbled, to the place where I thought the half-moon window usually was.
You're in the same place
, I told myself, trying blindly to orient myself, to remember which way I'd come in. I picked a wall and faced it.

“You need to help us,” I began in a weak voice. I could barely hear myself over the ringing. Some of the others stirred from their curled up positions on the floor to watch me.

“We need help. We can't go on like this. Do you want to know what our bodies can take? This is your answer. This is it, right here. This is the limit. You need to help us.” I still felt a desperate urge to cry, and what kept me from passing out as I stood was the fight to be strong, the adrenaline rush that forced the choked sobs back down my throat.

“Please! I'm asking please. If anyone is listening, please make this stop. We're suffering.” As I said the last words the idea pounded through my brain that Legacy, and Duggard, Morgan, Chance, they were
all
right. It crushed me and I nearly crumpled to the ground. The Locals were
watching us suffer, and they didn't care. Maybe even, they were enjoying it.

I refused to sink to my knees. I held my hands up to them, pleading. More black spots appeared as exhaustion began to take over.

Light suddenly flashed, blinding me for a second.

Then I found myself back in the Stack, facing a black half-moon in silence.

Faith struggled to her knees, bursting into sudden tears. Gaia held her in an embrace and they cried together. I was about to turn to Chance and Grim when I heard a vibrating noise. The blackness disappeared, giving way to a clear window.

A Local stood inside the half-moon. He was staring directly into my eyes. The other six Locals in the room were staring at him.

“But it didn't say anything?” Chief asked me.

“No, I think they can't.” I said. “But I think it wanted to.”

“You
think
?” came Legacy's voice.

“Yes!” I shouted. I felt suddenly very dizzy and reached down for a piece of fruit from the spread in front of us. We'd come back from the Stacks a couple hours ago and were treated by our people, but none of us had fully recovered yet. Most of the Specs from my group were still in the infirmary, hooked up to IV's.

“What do you think it means?” Chief asked me.

I'd told him that there was just one Local who had stopped the session. What
did
it mean? That the others were mad? Or they didn't understand? Were there Locals who wanted us here and those who didn't? Factions, opposing forces? I shivered.

And for the first time ever, we'd been released on different days. The children had come back to their parents after a few hours in a room like ours, but without the naked part. The old-erly were kept for two days and released.

We were back now, in the late afternoon of the third day, but the adults were still in. They could be going through the same thing we had. I wondered if we'd still be in there if I hadn't pleaded for mercy. But I had. What about them? Who was in charge of their session?

“Someone needs to tell her she's wrong!” Legacy blurted out. “These sicko bastards don't give a shit about us!” he yelled again.

“But one of them-” I started to scream back but Legacy's dad interrupted me.

“Son, that's enough! Enough!” Legacy gave his father a furious look but he shut up.

Cole had been called to Chief's quarters to check on Legacy, but now he was staying and trying to get involved with the decision process about the Locals.

He was saying in this condescending voice, “I want to go on record that I believe we can find a way to establish communication with the natives. There can be peace between our species.”

Chief sighed. “Your thoughts are appreciated, Cole. At this time, perhaps it would be best if you saw to the health of your son? I'm sure he could use some rest.” Chief gave Legacy a pitying look.

Cole opened his mouth but was silenced by a look from Chief. He nodded awkwardly, holding his hand out to help Legacy up. Legacy swatted at it and pushed himself up. Cole glanced at Chief, but he was no longer paying attention, he was staring at the wall.

Legacy and Cole left. But I wanted to talk to the dark-eyed boy who had called me a stupid bitch. If we were going to be a team, I had to swallow my pride and figure out what was going on. I hadn't known he was so angry until today.

I excused myself and went to leave but Boston stopped me just outside the door.

“Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Yeah. What is it?” Boston was usually so quiet, sitting with Legacy like his puppet. But now he raised his brown eyes to me and they were full of sorrow.

“I only want to say that I know I'm…friends with Legacy, but that doesn't mean I think the things he does and says are okay. I think he's wrong pretty often, in fact,” he was staring at me like there was something more he wanted to say.

I waited for a moment and then he shook his head. “That's it. I just wanted you to know.”

He turned back to Chief's quarters and I didn't have time to wonder about Boston, I wanted to catch Legacy.

I had to follow them more slowly than I would've liked, because my strength was nowhere near returned yet. I walked far behind them, watching as they argued. Legacy sweeping his hands in the air, his father grabbing his arm and jerking him forward.

There was another jerk from Cole and then he shoved Legacy into a storage bay. I climbed quickly into a shaft that led to the bay, dropping behind some crates as quietly as I could.

“You son of a bitch! Admit you don't know what you're talking about! First we have to run, now we have to make like best friends! You are so full of shit!” Legacy was spitting the words.

“Shut your mouth, boy! You are a
child
! I know it's difficult for you to comprehend, but I understand some concepts that you can't grasp. You
will
stop speaking to me with disrespect. Do you hear me! Do you!”

“Yeah, I hear you!” Legacy shouted. “But I'm the one in there every day, not you! Ask me what goes on in there. Ask me, and I'll tell you! I know a lot more than you ever will!”

“You don't know everything,” Cole shouted.

“I know more than a fucking coward like you!” Legacy shouted back.

Cole brought his arm back and he punched Legacy hard, full in the face. I took a step forward. Tears sprang to my eyes.

Legacy fell to his knees, cradling his face in his hands. Cole kicked him in the side and Legacy dropped all the way down to the ground.

Legacy didn't make a sound. He didn't seem surprised. But after a moment he looked up and glared at Cole with hatred.

His dad looked down at him and said, “I sacrificed so much, too much, all so you could be here. And this is how you repay me.”

Cole shook his head in disgust and took off through the bay doors, leaving Legacy behind.

I debated going up to Legacy right then and there to offer him some comfort. But I knew if he realized I'd been watching he'd be even angrier than before. I started to back away, but Legacy stood and swung his fist at a crate, punching it as hard as he could, and then stalked through the bay doors.

I wiped the moisture from my eyes. I hadn't been expecting that. At least, not that level of awful. I tried to get it out of my head.

I felt an overwhelming urge to see Chance.

It was always like this. I got emotional and he was what I wanted. I needed, just for a moment, to not be so alone, not to be the only one who knew.

I went looking for him, knowing he wouldn't want to see me. I needed to tell him about Legacy, and we could figure out what to do about it. I needed to talk about how cruel that last session had been…

I went to the infirmary but he wasn't there. It was hard looking at the rest of my Specs, still having fluid pumped back into their bodies. “I think he went down to the tanks,” Weeks whispered to me.

“Thanks,” I said, squeezing his leg over the blanket he was under on his patient bed. He winked at me seductively.

I took the slammer's way down. He was leaning up against the big tank in the middle that he'd crawled up on his way to victory.

“Hey,” I said. He jerked a little, meeting my eyes.

“Oh, hey.” The look on his face seared right through me.

“Are you busy, you want me to leave you alone?” I asked, caught off guard by his intense stare.

He paused. “No.”

There was silence. Then he asked, “You eat enough, get enough water?”

I stepped a little closer. “Yeah, it's hard to keep stuff down though.”

He nodded.

I came closer. “I wanted to say something to you.”

He looked away. “Yeah? What is it?”

I cleared my throat, letting a few seconds pass. “I have some things I need to tell you. Chance, I need to be able to talk to you.”

He didn't answer or look up at me.

“Also, I want to say that I miss you a lot. I feel like, I don't know. I feel like everything has been really wrong since you left.” I pushed back at the feeling of vulnerability and how it made me want to turn and run.

Again he didn't answer me. I couldn't see his eyes, but I could see the tension in his body. He clenched his hand into a fist and released it.

“I know I handled things so wrong…” I started.

He moved so fast I had no time to be alarmed. He grabbed me and pulled me to him while pushing me back up against the tank. His lips came down hard on mine, then softer, kissing me like he used to when we first met.

Heaven. My body let the flood of welcome feelings crowd into my veins, making me feel better than I had in a long time. I reached for his face, grabbing the back of his head with my other hand and pulling him down. I relaxed into our slow sink to the ground.

But then just as fast as he'd grabbed me he suddenly released me and backed away. I started pushing myself upright against the tanks.

“Hey, I mean, we…” I stood up completely.

He didn't wait for me to finish. He turned, and with each of his swiftly retreating footsteps the warm and happy feelings I'd greedily accepted started to drain away, replaced by something heavier, colder, and confusing. My mouth hung open slightly, with words that I'd meant to say still waiting on my lips.

I think I stood frozen, until I heard a noise and walked around the corner thinking maybe Chance had come to his senses. Instead I ran into Legacy.

“Reuniting with your boyfriend?” he sneered. He had his arm stretched above his head with his hand on the tank.

“Were you watching us?” I said with anger until I remembered what I'd just seen. “Legacy,” I said quietly, “if you ever need to talk…”

He arm fell to his side and he stood up straight. “Now you want to talk to me?”

“I mean, if you ever want to talk about your dad or anything that's bothering you,” I stopped because his eyes had gone cold.

“My dad doesn't bother me,” he said flatly.

“Okay.” I tried to look friendly. “I'm just offering.”

“You don't know anything about it. You think you have the answer to all my problems. You want to be the patron saint of lost causes? Well, find another cause,” he barked the last words at me.

“Fine,” I stuttered.

“It better be.” Legacy's whole body was tensed.

I didn't like how he was acting and I involuntarily backed away. He noticed. He smiled at me.

“I hadn't thought about it, but maybe I like you afraid. Maybe more people should be afraid of me,” he said.

There was quiet and a split second later Legacy went around the tank. I waited a moment, then checked to make sure. He was gone.

I didn't really feel that much better. This was all too much. Maybe some air would do me good. Maybe it was time to take a moment for myself. I had a spot…

The light outside was just beginning to dim as I walked out. But a chill raced through me as I watched people pushing through the high grasses toward something. It was mayhem. Something had happened. People were shouting, some people were running, a few were crying. A crowd had gathered near the wide grass area in front of the tunnels. Some were crawling up the nearby trees, or on top of crates left out on the ground. A few hundred people tried to cram around something, and it took me several minutes to fight my way through.

When I saw the adults were back my stomach flipped. I heard people calling for medics for the returned Specs. Duggard sat on the ground, his legs out before him, with his head in his hands. Helen was standing off to the side of the group, crying, with her arms that were still in the alien casts crossed over her chest. Celina was kneeling on the ground and I could see her shaking with sobs. I raced to her.