Beyond These Hills (19 page)

She glanced down. “What's that?”

His fingers stilled, and he stared at the wrinkled spot on his skin for a moment. “A bad memory from my childhood.”

She scooted closer. “Want to tell me about it?”

The memory of the night when he was six years old flashed in his mind, and he rubbed his hands over his eyes as if he could erase the scene. He'd tried to do that for years, but he doubted he would ever forget the accident that had scarred his soul as well as his body.

He swallowed and nodded. “I was six years old, and my parents were having a party. I was supposed to be in bed asleep, but I got up and slipped downstairs to see what was going on. There was a candelabra sitting on top of a table in the hallway. The wax had run down the sides of the candle, and I wanted to break some of it off to play with. I reached for one of the candles and the candelabra tipped over. A lit candle landed on my chest and ignited my pajamas. I was in flames before I knew it. I ran through the house screaming. I could hear my father yelling for me to stop, but I kept running. Then somebody fell on me and pinned me to the floor. We rolled and rolled until all the fire was out, but I'd been burned on my stomach and chest. I still have some scars from that fire.”

“Who caught you?”

“It was one of the waiters my father had hired for the night. He didn't even know me, but he saved my life that night. He suffered some burns, too. I never saw him again after that night, but I've never forgotten him.”

“It sounds like he was a real hero. It makes you wonder why some people react more quickly when there's danger than others do.”

“I've often wondered if I could do something like that—put my own life in danger to help someone else.”

She covered the scar with her fingers. “You could.”

He frowned at her. “How do you know?”

“Because I believe you're a good person.”

No one had ever told him before he was a good person. Not family, not friends, no one. Not until a girl who'd grown up in a world far removed from everything he'd known had said it. What was it about this place and these people that made him long for something more in his life than the hollow world of money, politics, and social standing?

He looked out across the mountains again. “I think I'm just beginning to understand how wonderful your life must have been here in Cades Cove, Laurel. I envy you that.”

“Didn't you have a happy life growing up?”

He rubbed his hands across his eyes and sighed. “I did until my brother drowned when our family was on a boat trip on the Potomac when I was twelve. Winston was the life of our family, the best big brother any boy could have. He was supposed to follow our father in politics, not me. But after Winston's death, my father became obsessed with the idea that his remaining son would follow in his footsteps.”

“What about your mother? Does she feel the same way as your father?”

He sighed. “My mother died six months after Winston.” He turned to face her. “I can't figure out a way of telling my father how I feel. He's well respected in Washington, but I hardly know him. If I don't follow the plan he has for my life, he'll cut me off without a cent. I don't know if I can survive on my own. The more I think about it, the more confused I become.”

Laurel put her hand on his arm. “I wish I could help you.”

He took a deep breath. “I've never known anybody like you and your family. You make me question things in my life that I never have before.”

She frowned. “I don't understand what you mean.”

“When I stopped at your church last Sunday, I only did it because I wanted to meet Simon Martin and Matthew Jackson. I expected them to order me off the property, but they didn't. Instead they welcomed me and even fed me. That was a surprise.”

She laughed. “I hope you'll tell your superiors in Washington that we're not quite the monsters we're made out to be.”

“No, you're not. You have a wonderful family. I've thought a lot about your grandfather's sermon. Just now your father told me a little about his early life and how God changed him. My father has never had a conversation like that with me.” He swiveled to face her. “How can your father be so at peace when I know he has to be worried about losing the farm, not to mention your brother taking off like he did?”

“I know it must be hard for someone who doesn't believe in God to understand how we feel. It's how I've lived all my life and how I want to live until I die. I'm convinced it's the only true way to find happiness.”

He clasped her hand in his, pushed himself to his feet, and pulled her up to stand beside him. “It's let me know there's something lacking in my life. Maybe while I'm in the Cove, I can find out what it is.”

Her eyes sparkled. “I hope you can, Andrew. I really hope you can.”

Chapter 10

R
ani stopped at the bedroom door, leaned against it, and folded her arms across her chest. A soft snore drifted across the room, and she smiled at the sight of Matthew sleeping peacefully in his favorite chair. His head rested against the back of the chair and one hand lay on the open Bible in his lap.

Her chest tightened as her gaze traveled over the man she had pledged her love to twenty years ago. His hair might be streaked with silver, but to her he was still the dashing young man who'd ridden into the Cove to reclaim the land that had once been his family's. He had stood against those who would have denied him a peaceful life in the Cove and had won.

Now he fought another battle for their land. Deep in their hearts they knew they would eventually lose, but Matthew had vowed to her he would hold fast as long as he could. But with each passing day they approached the time when they could no longer keep the government at bay.

She tiptoed to the chair and leaned over to kiss his cheek. Before she could make contact with him, a grimace covered his face and he jerked in his sleep. His hand grabbed at his chest as a soft moan escaped his lips.

Rani gasped, her eyes wide, as his body twitched and his mouth
opened as if offering a silent plea. His fingers curled and crumpled the page of the Bible in his grasp. Then, as quickly as it had appeared, the spasm seemed to pass and he relaxed again. Frightened, she shook his arm. “Matthew, wake up.”

His eyes flew open and he straightened in the chair. He frowned, and his wild-eyed stare gave him a disoriented look. “Wh-what is it?”

She grabbed the sides of his face and turned him toward her. “Are you all right?”

He blinked and swallowed. “I'm fine, Rani. What's the matter?”

“You were moaning in your sleep.” She placed her hand on his forehead and frowned. “Your head is wet with perspiration. Are you sure you feel okay?”

He glanced down at the Bible and frowned when he saw the torn page. He smoothed it out with his hands then laid it on the table next to the chair. “I'm fine. Maybe I was having a bad dream.”

Rani shook her head. “It looked like you were in pain. Maybe you were dreaming that you were hurt. Do you remember feeling anything?”

He shook his head and pushed to his feet. “I don't remember, but I'm sure that's what it was. It's nothing to worry about. I'm sorry it scared you.”

Tears flooded her eyes, and she flattened her palms on his chest. “Are you sure you're all right?”

He laughed and wrapped his arms around her. “I'm fine, just a little tired from that climb today. Every time I go up that mountain I think it's gotten higher than the time before.”

His words eased her mind some, and she draped her arms around his neck. “Do you think it might be because you're not as young as you used to be?”

He leaned forward and rubbed his nose against hers. “You may be younger than me, but I can still keep up with you. I'm not an old man yet.”

His words held a soothing tone, but it was the flicker of worry in his eyes that concerned her. She caressed his cheek. “You can't fool me, Matthew Jackson. I know you're worried to death about Charlie. I am too. Where do you think he could be?”

Matthew exhaled and shook his head. “I don't know.” He frowned and tightened his grip on her. “But we can't give in to our worry for him. All we can do is place him in God's hands.”

“I know, but he's my baby, Matthew. Do you remember the night he was born?”

His Adam's apple bobbed, and he brushed away the tear that trickled from her eye. “I do. It snowed so much that night I was afraid I wouldn't get back with your mother. I was so scared that you'd have that baby without anyone here to help you.”

“But you got Mama here in time, just like I knew you would. You've never let me down.”

“I've tried not to, but I'm beginning to wonder if I have now.”

She drew back in surprise. “Don't say things like that. I won't have it. You're my rock. I couldn't live without you.”

His eyes darkened. “I've been thinking…” He hesitated a moment. “I've been thinking that if I'd been a better father to Charlie he wouldn't have run away. What did I do wrong?”

Her heart constricted at the sad look that flashed across his face. “Oh, Matthew, you didn't do anything wrong. Don't start thinking you failed him like your father failed you. No boy could have had a better father than Charlie had. I'm just sorry he didn't recognize it. Someday he'll realize it.”

He pulled her close to him and nuzzled her ear with his lips. “You always know how to lift my spirit, Rani. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I sure am thankful God gave you to me.”

She smiled and kissed his cheek. “No, I'm the one who's thankful. God's blessed us, and we have to keep trusting that He'll take care of Charlie wherever he is.”

“I know.”

“We're going to be all right, Matthew, no matter what happens with the farm and with Charlie.”

He didn't say anything for a moment, and then he gave her a light kiss on the lips. “I know.”

A shiver ran down Rani's spine. Instead of reassuring her, his somber words frightened her. For the first time she sensed that their life in this place was coming to an end. Matthew already knew it, but he had never let her see it until now. And it really wasn't what she saw. It was in the tone of his voice that she recognized the sound of Matthew's resolve crumbling.

She glanced up at his face, and she almost gasped aloud. A defeated look darkened his eyes. She had seen it twenty years ago when he'd been haunted by the memories of his past. Now that look had returned, but it wasn't the past he feared. It was the future.

Rani grasped his shoulders and forced him to look at her. “Are you giving up on trying to save our farm?”

He closed his eyes for a moment and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. “We can't win, Rani. I think it's time we faced the facts. The government is going to get our land.”

“But Matthew, we can't quit now. We've come too far.”

He cupped her chin with his hand. “We've just prolonged the inevitable. When this started, I wanted to save our farm for our children. Now Charlie's gone to who-knows-where. It probably won't be long before Laurel is married and settled somewhere, and that just leaves Willie. It'll be years before he's old enough to take on the responsibility of this place.”

“But he'll have you to teach him until he's old enough,” she insisted.

Matthew shook his head. “There's no time left, Rani. No matter what we tell ourselves, we're not going to win our court case.”

She grasped the front of his shirt in her fists and stared up at him. “Are you saying we're going to lose our farm?”

“Yes.”

“But…but I kept hoping…”

He pulled one of her hands free from his shirt, raised it to his lips, and kissed her fingers. “We have to face it. It's time to think about where we'll go when we leave here.”

The tears now streamed down her face. She wiped at them with a quivering hand. “Please don't talk like this. We don't have to decide anything right now.”

“We can't put off talking about it much longer. I need to know my family has somewhere to go.”

“But where would that be? I've never given a thought to living somewhere else.”

Matthew sat back down in the chair and pulled Rani onto his lap. “You know John Cowden, don't you?”

“Of course I do. He's that woodcarver who sells his pieces in downtown Gatlinburg.”

He nodded. “I've talked to him several times when I've been in town, and he says he's tired of selling on the streets. He and some of his friends have come up with an idea to start a Gatlinburg Arts and Crafts Community out on that loop road where he lives outside of town. Tourism is only going to increase in the mountains now that the park has opened. That road out there is a natural area to set up a craftsmen's community, a place where people can visit shops and buy the crafts we've made in these mountains for generations. He's talked to a lot of the others, and they're ready to join him.”