Beyond These Walls (The Walls Duet #2) (4 page)

I LOVED BRUNCH.

Two meals seamlessly blended together meant I could eat whatever I wanted, and I didn’t have to get up at the crack of dawn to do it.

It was one of the best ideas ever—besides introducing chocolate to breakfast foods. Whoever had devised that genius idea deserved a Nobel Peace Prize.

As I happily stuffed another bite of chocolate-chip pancakes into my mouth, I turned to see Zander closely watching me from his high chair. His bright blue eyes followed the movements of my fork as it moved to my plate to scoop up another piece of pancake. A tiny pink tongue darted out and made a wide sweep across his top lip.

“You’re cute,” I said, “but these are mine, buddy.”

He blew raspberries in response and banged his chubby fist down on the plastic tray, sending little round Cheerios flying in every direction.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t do that,” I commented as I picked sticky cereal out of my hair.

He giggled, which sent the three adults at the table into a fit of laughter.

“He showed you,” Grace said, covering a dainty snort with her napkin.

“So selfish,” Jude interjected, shaking his head. “Unwilling to share food with a helpless poor child. Who am I marrying?”

He grinned mischievously as I glared up at him, carefully plotting my revenge.

With cunning stealth, I raised my hand, still full of half-nibbled Cheerios, and quickly dumped them on top of his head. Some instantly fell back to the table, but others made a new home within the tendrils of his sandy-blond locks.

Youthful laughter followed as Zander watched Jude shake the mess from his hair, sending a cascade of cheerios to the floor.

“Such a mess,” I said, mimicking Jude’s words. “What a lack of respect for the wait staff. Who am I marrying?”

I smiled smugly as I shoved another large bite of chocolate-chip pancakes into my mouth while he laughed.

“You two are crazy,” Grace said, dumping a new pile of finger foods out for Zander to munch on.

“It’s all those years of a lack of oxygen to her brain,” Jude replied dryly.

I turned to him, wide-mouthed. “She said
we
are crazy.” I laughed. “Not just me.”

“Yeah, I guess I’m a bit mad. But it’s your fault. I was totally normal before I met you.”

I rolled my eyes as I moved the last gooey piece of pancake around on my plate, trying to lap up every last drop of maple syrup. “Totally,” I said.

He chuckled as he sat back in his chair and slowly sipped on a cup of coffee while drawing small circles across my back. The sensation sent chills down my arms, yet the feel of his fingers brushing across the fabric of my shirt made me feel warmer rather than colder because he was touching me, loving me. I never wanted that feeling to end.

“I wish you didn’t have to go back so soon,” I lamented. I made a small pouty face in the direction of my best friend.

“I know, but I didn’t expect to see you at all until the wedding, so just think of this as an added bonus, thanks to your generous man over there.”

I turned, sending him a warm expression of gratitude.

“It was purely selfish on my part,” he confessed. “I knew I’d be in business meetings all day, and I didn’t want her to be alone.”

“The fact that you cared enough to fly me all the way across country just so your fiancée wouldn’t be alone all day shows just how unselfish you are, Jude.”

He shrugged, placing his empty cup of coffee on the table, while he continued to rub my back.

“How did the meetings go?” Grace asked.

“Good actually. Roman managed to pull his ass out of bed in the nick of time, and he threw his megawatt charm into high gear. I think we have a good shot of getting their support.”

“That’s great! I know you were hoping for this deal,” she said, a genuine smile spreading across her face.

“We were. It would strengthen our base, which is exactly what I have been trying to do since I returned. I’m trying to make sure Cavanaugh Investments is around for many more lifetimes and is able to withstand any financial earthquakes that might try to tear it down in the future.”

“You’re doing a fantastic job—both of you,” she added. “Lailah told me she made dean’s list last semester.”

“She actually told you that?” he asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise. “She hasn’t even told her mom.”

“You haven’t told Molly?” she nearly screeched, staring me down.

“It’s not a big deal.” I shrugged.

“It’s not a big deal to tell your mother, who happens to be a professor and covets education like most people covet chocolate or Louboutin heels? Yeah, I’m sure she wouldn’t care at all.”

“I just don’t want her to make a big fuss,” I said.

“Why?” Grace asked, tearing off pieces of her pancake and placing them on Zander’s tray.

“Because it’s not really that important in the grand scheme of things.”

Setting the remainder of the half-shredded pancake back on her plate, her eyes met mine. “Everything in your life is important, Lailah. Don’t you remember that? Have you become that desensitized already?”

“Desensitized?” I scoffed, looking over to Jude.

Folding his napkin, he placed it on his plate and silently observed the conversation.

“Do you remember that naive skinny girl who couldn’t wait to get out of the hospital and begin living a life she never had before?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t forget her,” she urged. “She would want you to celebrate everything, no matter how small or insignificant, Lailah. Seeing you grow into your own over the last two years has been amazing. The strength and courage you bring to this world make me proud to call you my friend. But don’t let the world change you. Change the world, Lailah.”

Her words hit home as I tried to recall the last time I’d pulled out my list of wishes that I’d created over the years while hiding away in that hospital room.

My Someday List was everything I’d wanted to do if given the chance at a normal life. When Jude had discovered it, he’d made it his goal to help me strike out every last wish off that one-hundred-forty-three-item list.

But as the days had gone on, life had begun to settle, and so had I. The worn pages of my journal had become something of an afterthought now that the world had finally exploded around me.

“
Don’t let the world change you,
” Grace had said. “
Change the world.
”

“I think it’s time for some cake,” I announced.

“That’s my girl,” Jude said softly, signaling to the waiter across the room.

“Make sure he brings some chocolate pudding, too,” I added. “We’re celebrating!”

“Sure thing, angel.”

I might not have been changing the world yet, but while I figured out how, I could at least make sure I shined through.

“You must be the only multimillionaire I know who takes a cab to the airport,” Grace joked, shaking her head, as our little yellow taxi pulled up to the curb at JFK.

“And how many multimillionaires do you know exactly?” Jude asked from the front seat.

He leaned over to hand the driver what was no doubt double, if not triple, his required fee—plus, a hefty tip. The man’s eyes bulged as he thanked Jude several times and then quickly jumped out to help with Grace’s bags.

“Well, two—if you count your burly brother. And I know he wouldn’t be caught dead traveling the streets of Manhattan in anything less than a town car.”

The three of us exited the cab as Grace cradled Zander in her arms. He was the only kid on the planet who could be lulled to sleep by a New York taxicab. Meanwhile, I’d held on for dear life and prayed we wouldn’t end up at the bottom of the Hudson.

“That’s because my brother is stuck-up and arrogant,” Jude said, smacking her hand away from her suitcase. He took the handle and slung Zander’s diaper bag over his shoulder. After heading toward the check-in counter, he turned back around and smiled briefly. “And he also doesn’t have an amazing woman in his life, like I do, who still gets a thrill each time she hails a cab.”

I laughed, shrugging my shoulder. “It is exhilarating.”

“And what number was that?” she asked, swaying back and forth.

We stood in line behind a man in a business suit, waiting to check in at the first-class counter.

“Ninety-eight.” I blushed.

Her shoulder lightly bumped mine, and I turned to see her warm smile.

“Keep marking them off, Lailah.”

I nodded, turning fully to wrap my arms around her. “I will.”

Her bag was checked, and boarding passes were issued. Soon, we were standing by security, delaying the inevitable.

“I guess we should say our good-byes now,” she said, frowning.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “I’m going to miss you.”

“Right back at you, girl. But, hey, it’s just five weeks, and then I’ll be right back here with my pink dress, ready to party!”

I laughed. “Green! You mean, green dress!”

“Right. Green. Figured I’d give it one last shot.”

“Let me kiss my little man before you take him away from me again,” I begged.

She shifted Zander in her arms, so I could easily reach his sleepy face. His soft pink lips parted slightly as tiny puffs of air escaped. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he dreamed, and I couldn’t help but smile in return.

“Whatever you’re dreaming of, sweet Zander, I hope it comes true. I love you. Never forget the many people in this world who cherish these tiny hands and your sweet face. Be good for your mommy and daddy, and I’ll see you soon.” I placed a wisp of a kiss on his forehead and repeated the action on Grace’s cheek. “Take care, and fly safe. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Jude stepped forward and gave Grace an awkward side hug, so he wouldn’t disturb the slumbering bundle in her arms. “Thank you for coming. I truly appreciate it,” he said.

“Anytime.”

With a sad smile and a blown kiss in our direction, she threw Zander’s diaper bag over her shoulder, and then she turned toward the security line and disappeared into the crowd of people.

“You okay?” Jude asked as his fingers intertwined with mine.

“Yes,” I answered as we headed back toward the entrance. “I just hate good-byes.”

“It’s not really a good-bye, you know. It’s more of just a see-you-later.”

He pushed open the glass door leading to the street and held it as we stepped out.

“Did you steal that from a movie?” I asked, smiling. “It sounds very familiar.”

“Maybe. But it made you smile.”

“You always make me smile.”

There was no need to hail a taxi at the airport since they were lined up like vultures along the curb. We hopped into the first available one we saw, and Jude gave him the address to our apartment.

As we settled in the back, Jude’s arm snaked around me, and I turned to watch the city come into view. I’d grown up in California where palm trees and beaches took precedence over skyscrapers and subways. Life was different here, but then again, life anywhere outside of a hospital was different and new.

Whether I was living in an apartment in Santa Monica, blocks away from the sandy beach, or in the heart of one of the busiest cities in the world, it didn’t matter as long as I was alive.

Grace had been right this morning. I had become slightly complacent in my new life, trying to fit in, when I should be embracing my newfound existence. When given a second chance, you shouldn’t fade into the background. Rather, you should explode like a rainbow of colors dripping down a canvas.

Jude’s voice suddenly cut through my deep thoughts, and I looked to him in confusion.

“What did you say?” I asked.

“I asked whether you ever felt deprived because of everything that had happened.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just, today, seeing you with Zander, plus the crazy dreams . . . it makes me wonder if you ever wish for more than just me in this world.”

I turned to face him, my hand reaching up to stroke the stubble on his chin. “Are you asking if I want a child?”

He nodded.

“Don’t you think we should get married first?” I joked.

A halfhearted smile tried to form, but I could see his mood was still sullen.

“Jude, please don’t think I ever feel deprived. This life, everything I have, is more than I ever expected. Before I met you, I fully believed I’d die without one of those wishes on my Someday List ever coming true. But here I am, healthy and strong, making each and every one of them come true because of you.”

“But what if you want more—later.”

“You,” I said, tilting his chin upward so that his gaze would meet mine, “are all I need.”

As his lips touched mine, I curled my fingers into his hair. I’d never been surer of anything in my life.

Jude was all I’d ever need.

But as our kiss deepened, the sudden vision of my dream flashed through my memory.

My fingers reached out in the darkness to find him, but he wasn’t there.