Beyond This Moment (45 page)

"Kurt, I've graded your slate from this afternoon:" Molly motioned to the stack beside her desk, remembering how well he'd done. "Why don't you find yours and show your mother?"

As Kurt looked for his slate, Molly rose from her chair and retrieved her coat. She walked to the window and peered out. The sunshine from earlier in the day had given way to clouds, and the wind had picked up. She massaged her lower back, a dull ache throbbing low.

"Mama, do you think Uncle James will be proud of me again?"

Her coat halfway on, Molly paused, hearing the truth behind Kurt's apology-he wanted his Uncle James to be proud of him. Something she couldn't fault him for in the least, and something she would have liked as well.

"Molly?"

At the somberness in Rachel's tone, Molly turned and saw Rachel staring at her desk. Molly's first thought went to another snake, but Kurt wouldn't dare. Not with his mother here. She walked closer and realized what Rachel was staring at. Only, it wasn't her desk.

It was her chair, and the dark brown stain marring the cushion.

34

olly shivered, both from the chill in the air and from fear of what Dr. Brookston was going to tell her. She tried to lie still on the patient table as he completed his examination, but thoughts of Lori Beth Matthews, and what James had said about some people having considered it a blessing when Lori Beth's baby had died, brought a shudder.

She cradled her abdomen. Please, God, please ... don't take my baby. Over and over she begged Him. Surely He wouldn't demand the life of her child in payment of a debt that was hers alone to settle. She didn't think He would, but she'd been wrong before when trying to anticipate His thoughts and ways.

"Please lie as still as you can, Dr. Whitcomb. I know this is uncomfortable, but it won't take much longer:"

Detecting concern in his voice, Molly complied as best she could. She closed her eyes, willing a nonexistent calm. What must Rachel think of her? Rachel had driven her to the clinic in the wagon, and-knowing she had no choice-Molly had told her about the baby, careful not to let Kurt overhear. Shock best described Rachel's initial reaction, then disappointment, which Molly expected, but then Rachel's nurturing temperament had kicked in.

"Did you hit your stomach when you fell, Dr. Whitcomb?"

Tears slid from the corners of Molly's eyes. "No, I landed on my side:"

"When exactly did the pain start?"

"There wasn't any pain, really. My back was hurting a little. But that's common these days; I didn't think anything of it:"

When he was done with his examination, Dr. Brookston covered her with a blanket and pulled a stool up beside her. "The bleeding has stopped completely, and the examination revealed nothing alarming or abnormal. I do need to ask you some questions, but I don't want you reading anything into them, all right?"

Molly nodded, feeling her chin tremble.

"Have you felt the baby move yet?"

Her heart sank. "No, should I have?"

With a reassuring smile, he touched her arm. "I told you, don't be alarmed. As far as I can tell, you're well into your fourth month of pregnancy. And it's customary for a mother to feel the baby move for the first time somewhere in her fourth or fifth month. Have you had any spotting before this incident?"

She shook her head, knowing exactly how far along she was-entering her fifth month-because she knew the exact day she'd conceived. But telling him that would only raise suspicion, and since his assessment was correct, she decided to keep that knowledge to herself.

"Spotting during pregnancy isn't uncommon, Dr. Whitcomb, and most women who do, end up carrying their children to full term and delivering healthy, well-developed babies. So don't start borrowing trouble and thinking this portends an unhappy outcome. Because it doesn't."

"So there's nothing wrong with my baby?"

"I see nothing abnormal about your pregnancy. I do have a sense, however, that you've been under great stress recently, and that, along with the tumble today, may have contributed to the bleeding. I'd like for you to stay here at the clinic tonight. You can have my bed in the back room and I'll stay out here, so I'll be close in case you need anything."

She nodded. "Thank you, Doctor."

"I see no reason why you can't continue to teach, as long as you're careful. I would like for you to begin sitting more often during the day, instead of standing for such long stretches. And I'd like to see you in my office once a week, at least for a while, just to check the baby's heartbeat." He smiled. "Make sure it stays good and strong"

A short while later, Dr. Brookston left to pick up supplies from the general store and Molly rested in bed in the back room, finding herself more tired than she'd thought. And far more conflicted than earlier.

If she did as she'd planned, and confessed to James and to the town council that she'd never been married, that would mean leaving Dr. Brookston's care. And who would oversee the remainder of her pregnancy and the birth of her child then? Especially if there were complications as there had been in Lori Beth's situation. And though she tried not to dwell on it, she couldn't forget the high fever she'd suffered and Dr. Brookston's carefully worded warning about some babies being born with "challenges:'

She turned onto her side and smoothed a hand over her belly. How could she tell them now, and jeopardize her baby's health? Feeling traitorous inside, she knew her decision was already made. And that God knew it too.

A soft knock sounded on the clinic door in the next room, followed by the telling creak of rusty hinges. Dr. Brookston wouldn't knock, so she knew it wasn't him.

"Molly?"

James. Her stomach did a somersault. "I'm back here:" She sat up in the bed, dreading having to see him again, yet dreading the thought of not. He rounded the corner. She saw the concern lining his expression, and a portion of her apprehension fell away.

He removed his hat and stopped just inside the doorway. "Rachel came and found me. Are you all right, Molly? Is your ... baby all right?"

"Yes, Dr. Brookston said were both fine:" Seeing a hint of his smile helped hers along. "He asked me to stay here for the night, though, just to be sure, so I won't be able to attend the town council meeting. But I don't expect you to tell them;' she said in a rush, feeling a twinge of betrayal knowing she was still hiding something from him. "I'll do that. I could write a letter, if you want, but I think telling them in person would be best-if it can wait a day or two:"

"I agree. And it can wait, until you're up to it:" He stared. "I'm just so thankful you're all right:" He turned his hat in his hands, worrying the rim. "I wish I could do Saturday night over again, Molly. I would change how I behaved when you told me:'

"You were right to behave as you did. I never should have kept this from you, James:" And I wish I wasn't keeping something from you still. "Please forgive me:"

That smile she loved tipped up one side of his mouth. "I already have. And I realize now how hard this must have been for you, all this time:'

She bowed her head, finding the compassion in his gaze uncomfortable to sustain.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, surprising her.

She smiled. "Actually, I am:"

"I'll go get you something to eat and bring it back." He turned to leave.

"James?" She waited. "You're a very good friend;" she said softly, regretting the tremor in her voice. `And"-wherever these next weeks and months take us, before they take me home again and away from you-"I'm so grateful God brought you into my life:'

James closed the front door noiselessly behind him and headed for the darkened kitchen, tired from the long town council meeting and from getting raked over the coals by Davenport and his pocketful of men in the group. He sat down at the kitchen table and rested his head in his hands, almost too tired to eat.

"James, you're home. Finally." Rachel swept through the doorway, oil lamp in hand. "I've kept dinner for you:"

He rubbed his face. "Thank you, Rachel:"

She withdrew his plate from the oven and set it before him, then filled two glasses with tea. "How was she when you left?"

Following her train of thought, James took her hand and offered a quick prayer of thanks, then lifted his fork. "She's doing fine. She said you stopped by while I was gone to get her dinner."

She nodded. "She said Dr. Brookston told her everything seemed fine. That he didn't see anything alarming, which is good news:"

"Very good news:" James took a bite of mashed potatoes, followed by meat loaf. "He wants to see her every week, looks like, just to be sure she's okay."

Rachel said nothing for a moment, but he could feel her wheels turning.

"Have you told her yet, James?"

He kept eating.

"You should, you know," she said quietly.

He took a long swig of tea, knowing how she must feel when he gently pushed her to make things right with Daniel. "It's not that simple, Rachel:"

"It also doesn't have to be that hard, James:"

He ate his dinner, grateful for it but wishing he could eat it in peace.

"May I ask you another question?" she said after a minute.

He finished chewing. "If I say no, will it make any difference?"

She laughed. "No:"

"Then why are you asking me?" He cut his eyes in her direction, still a mite frustrated, but knowing she meant well.

She laid a hand on his arm. "I know you, James. And I know how you think. You're thinking that it wouldn't be right for the sheriff of Timber Ridge to have feelings for a woman who has lied about something like this. I was just as surprised as you were when I learned about the baby today too, but-"

"She told me about the baby Saturday night, on the sleigh ride:"

Rachel said nothing for a moment. "So that's what's been wrong these past few days. I thought it was something related to the sheriff's office:"

"It's that too" He sighed, staring at his plate. "But mostly, it's her.. "

"Did the town council meeting go well?"

He kept his smile to himself, knowing she wasn't done pressing him about Molly. She was just biding her time. "It's not a cougar that's been taking the cattle. It's rustlers, which I've suspected for a while now. They hit Paulsens' ranch last night. I informed Davenport and the men tonight at the meeting, and they're wanting to form a posse before we even have suspects'

Davenport had also made a point of making sure that everyone knew it was Kurt who put the snake in Molly's drawer. But James kept that to himself, not wanting to add to Rachel's load. He sighed. "Another worker got hurt out at the resort too. A man fell through some loose flooring and hurt his back." He leaned forward, rolling his shoulders, working to loosen the knots. "Tolliver's building the finest resort in Colorado, while the families who are doing the work, and bearing the risks, don't even have enough to eat:"

"It's coming at you from all directions, isn't it?" Rachel whispered. "Do the men know about Molly yet?"

He shook his head. "She and I agreed it'd be best coming from her. I'll call a special meeting later this week, once she feels well enough. I didn't tell her this, but the chances of her keeping her job after Davenport learns she's with child are slim:"

I think Molly knows that:' Rachel refilled his glass. "She didn't say anything outright, but I could tell she's worried about that happening:'

"And there's nothing I can do to stop it. It's the council's decision."

"But you have influence with those men:"

He laughed softly. "Less every day, it feels like:"

"No matter what happens, James ... don't you let her get back on that train:" Tender determination filled her tone. "Do you realize how rare this is, what the two of you have? When I watch the two of you together, I see-" Her eyes glistened and her smile went all wobbly. "I see Thomas and me. And I've never seen you look at another woman the way you look at her."

He couldn't argue with anything she'd said. He'd never cared for a woman like he did Molly. And as highly as he esteemed truth and integrity, as much as he'd based his entire adult life on upholding and building on those principles, maybe what Daniel said was right. Maybe he was letting his dedication to the sheriff's office dictate his view of things more than he should.