BIG: (A Bad Boy Stepbrother Romance) (8 page)

Ric didn’t say anything as she changed the target again and tried to relax her stance so she could shoot straight. It wasn’t easy. The muscles in her shoulders burned, they were so tight. It probably wasn’t a good idea to be this mad at him with a gun in her hands, she thought wryly, taking a deep, steadying breath.

She felt both misunderstood and persecuted—for a crime she didn’t believe she’d actually committed. So she’d had a hard time standing up for herself back then, it was true. She never would have chosen a guy like Ryan if that wasn’t the case. And Ric wouldn’t have had to step in and defend her.

But she wasn’t like that anymore. She had boundaries. She wouldn’t accept the silent treatment, or quiet, constant anger. The girl she was then—the one who thought she had to swallow herself, all her own needs and wants, in order to make someone else feel better—didn’t exist anymore.

But Ric didn’t know that, did he?

To him, she was still the same little mouse who had timidly shrunk from him after he punched Ryan in the face. Never mind she’d been in shock, never mind the confrontation with Ryan alone had left her sobbing uncontrollably, unable to catch her breath, never mind that once Ric had stepped in to keep Ryan from hurting her, Annalesa was so panicked, all her senses had pretty much shut down.

Ric’s hands came around, beneath hers, steadying her shot. His front was hot and hard against her back.

“You’re shaking.” His voice was soft and low, his breath warm on her cheek.

“I know.”

“I didn’t know...” He swallowed. “I certainly had no idea that my opinion mattered to you that much.”

“You refused to believe it.” She allowed him to bring the gun down but remained stiff against him. “It wouldn’t fit with the image you had of yourself back then. Sometimes I think you liked playing the martyr. And I know damned well you liked having an excuse to hit first and ask questions later. They didn’t always call you ‘Big Dick’ because of your size, you know. Sometimes, it was just because you acted like a great big dick.”

“Ouch.” Ric took a step back from her, letting her go.

“I’m sorry.” She worried her lip between her teeth and took a deep breath, not knowing how he was going to take what she was about to say, not turning to look at his face as she said it. “But I wouldn’t be doing you any favors if I pretended like you weren’t part of your own problem.”

There was such a long silence, she thought for a moment he’d just quietly walked away. But when she worked up the nerve to turn, Ric put her gun on the shelf and pulled her against him.

“You really have changed.” His eyes searched hers.

“How? I’m meaner?”

“No... you’re braver.” His hands pressed against her lower back, fitting her body to his in a way that brought back the memory of their kiss like it was yesterday. “The old Leesa would have bolted at the start, but... you’re still here. You actually stayed and said what you needed to say.”

He sounded incredulous and she pressed her cheek to his chest, listening to the steady beat of his great big heart. She breathed him in, glad for the sudden cease-fire in their ongoing hostilities, relieved to feel his arms around her, even after she’d said the most difficult thing she’d ever had to say to him.

She was proud of herself—and she understood him. She really did. What she’d said was true—but she knew the other side of it too. Ric had taken more than his fair share of crap from the world, and it would’ve taken someone superhuman to go through what he had and
not
be bitter or untrusting.

But his arms were around her. He was holding her. That was a start.

“Why did you kiss me?” His question startled her and she looked up at him. “That day—when we thought—when their plane went missing. Why did you kiss me?”

“I...” She opened her mouth to answer, then closed it again. She wanted to tell him the truth—but was afraid to. Mostly she was afraid of saying the wrong thing—of saying something that might push him away again.

“I have a feeling I know the answer.” He sighed. “I know you needed me. Well, you needed
someone
. And I was there. Convenient. Any port in a storm, I guess. I’ve been through that before.”

“What are you talking about?”

He shrugged one shoulder, but she wouldn’t let it go.

“My stepmom.” There was a high color on his cheeks. “Not your mum—the woman my father married before. She was like that. She just... she turned to the person closest to her, when she needed someone. And I... oh fuck it, never mind. I just... I think I know what it was, for you. You needed someone, and I was there. Am I right?”

“No.” Annalesa had to stand on her tiptoes to cup his face in her hands, trying to stop his rambling. “I mean, yes, I needed you. Of
course
, I needed you. But Ric, I kissed you because... I loved you.
Love you.
Very much present tense.”

Her confession hung there between them for a moment, making the air feel charged, electric. She longed for him to say something, anything.

But then Annalesa suddenly found her mouth covered by his.

It happened as suddenly as it had before. One moment they were embracing, the next they were kissing. She melted, opening her lips to him, feeling his kiss deepening, pressing hard, everywhere.

He dominated and she let him, stroking lightly beneath his tongue and along the sides as he explored the whole roof of her mouth, making her feel giddy with the force of it.

Happiness and relief washed through her.

Even when he pulled away, he couldn’t do so immediately. They ended the kiss slowly, face to face, still breathing each other. Eventually, he rested his forehead on hers and chuckled.

“Wow.”

“Mmm-hmmm.” She might be able to say something intelligent soon, but that moment hadn’t come just yet.

Ric held her close, closer, and she rubbed her cheek against the hard slope of his chest. Something he’d said broke through and she glanced up at him, frowning.

“Hey... you’ve never talked about your first stepmother before?” She knew his birth mother had died in a car accident when he was just a baby.

He made a face. “I try to think about it as little as possible.”

“Oh.” She bit her lip, debating whether or not to push him, but decided against it. At least he’d remember that she’d asked, if he ever did want to talk about it.

“Leesa, I’m still not so sure this is a good idea...” A frown turned the corners of his perfect mouth down just slightly. “I don’t know what to think.”

“Please trust me.” She kissed his chest, rubbing her cheek there, her voice almost a whisper. “I should have tried harder. I should have told you how I felt. I should have been brave then, I know.”

“Oh Leesa.” His lips brushed the top of her head.

“But I wasn’t brave then. And I’m sorry, Ric. I’m so sorry. I’ve been sorry every single day we’ve been apart, every minute you were out of my reach.”

“Oh Christ.” He sighed.

“Listen to me.” She lifted her face to his, squaring her shoulders. “I know what happened... it made you feel awful, and I’m sorry you were hurt. But Ric—I never did any of it on purpose. I never, ever set out to hurt you.”

“I know.”

She felt weightless as he lifted her onto the ledge of the booth, feeling the warmth of his palms through the thin cotton of her top as he kept his hands around her waist.

“So you forgive me?” She knew the question was in her eyes as she put her arms around his neck.

“If we do this...” His thumbs stroked her belly, on either side of her navel, a delicious distraction. “I need to trust you. Completely.”

“Okay.” She nodded, her heart soaring at the possibility. She wouldn’t have admitted it to her closest friend or even confessed it to a priest on her death bed before this moment, but this, with Ric, was what she wanted, what she’d always wanted.

“We’ll have to keep it secret.” His thumbs brushed beneath her top, stroking her bare skin. He looked over his shoulder, checking they were alone. “At least, for a while.”

“Yeah.” She winced, not relishing the thought of telling their parents.

“Leesa, I
really
need to trust you.” His grip tightened, his fingers digging into her sides so hard it almost hurt. He was so strong! “Our relationship’s bound to be tested. A lot.”

“I know.” She nodded vigorously, agreeing, the word ‘relationship’ from his mouth secretly thrilling her. “Ric, I promise, I—”

“I mean it. This isn’t a joke. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” His harsh words jarred her senses, but he didn’t let her go. His hands were under her shirt now, fully on her skin, his big palms spreading heat through her whole body. “Because... I may ask you to prove it, Leesa.”

“I will,” she breathed, straightening her spine so she could get her lips closer to his. “I swear, I’ll do whatever I have to, to prove myself to you.”

“Good.” He gave her a slow, weary smile, and then he kissed her, his mouth soft and open, not demanding anymore.

“What now?” she breathed as they parted. If he’d wanted to take her right then, right there, she would have done whatever he asked.

“We take it slow.” He rested his forehead against hers. “And keep us a secret.”

“Us.” She smiled at that.

“You up for more target practice?” He smiled too, glancing down at her gun as he took a step back.

“I’ll probably miss the target entirely.” She grinned, sliding off the ledge and putting her hands to her flushed cheeks. “But it’s probably a good idea for me to cool down a little before we leave.”

Ric helped her relax into her stance and, with the weight of their conflict gone, she went on to make six bullseyes out of ten shots on the next two targets, and the remaining shots clustered close around the center.

“Damn, girl.” Ric clapped. “I’m impressed. Remind me not to give you any reason to shoot at me.”

“You’re the last person I’d want to shoot.” She emptied the last cartridges out of the magazine, handing them back to him, along with the gun. “At least, most of the time.”

“Except when I’m being a dick?” He snorted and she laughed as he led them back to the armory to check in their weapons.

When they were back in her car again, Annalesa sliding behind the wheel, Ric rested his hand on her knee.

“That was hot, you know?”

“What was? Kissing?” She shifted, letting his hand move further up her leg.

“Oh, well, yeah.” He chuckled. “But I meant the thing with Arensen—when he pulled his stunt, and you came out of nowhere with that gun.”

“If that didn’t prove my love for you...” she teased, putting a hand over his on her thigh, moving it a little further up. “I don’t know what will.”

“Ha.” He smiled at that. “Speaking of trust—you know, we’re both gonna be a lot richer in a few days. And with great money comes great responsibility.”

“Thanks, Spiderman.”

“I’m serious.” His hand squeezed her leg. “We’re going to have a lot of decisions to make with all that money.”

“Oh, I know.” She laughed, remembering how gleeful she’d been just at the thought of having enough spare cash to buy a new car. She still wondered if it would be
really
extravagant to have a keyless entry, smart-start Kia Sedona shipped to the UK? Or France?

“Please tell me you’re not.” Ric groaned.