Big D: Senior Year (Three Daves #3) (7 page)

Chapter 12

“I don’t love him, so I broke up with him.” Jen said to David. “It kind of sucked.”

He stared at her, his dark eyebrows knitting together as if he didn’t quite believe what he heard. It was exactly how Jen had felt throughout his confession. The entire day had been a muddled mess of emotions. But standing in that dingy hallway, looking at David, one crystal clear truth pushed itself through her fog. It was a truth she wasn’t sure she was ready to face.

David had said he’d wait for an answer. She’d just broken up with D; he’d just broken up with Ellie. It made sense to let the dust settle on the carcasses of those relationships before jumping into a new one—or an old one, depending on how she looked at it. “David?”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t smell so good.”

The tension in his features broke as he chuckled. “Well, a lot’s happened since I last showered.”

“I think before we talk any more, we should get you cleaned up.” She twisted the key in the lock, her hands now steady despite thinking this was a very bad idea. But she could hardly turn him out into the dark night smelling like coyote bait after he’d just sliced open his guts and spilled them to her. If she couldn’t give him an answer tonight, the least she could do was give him a speck of dignity.

The apartment was silent and dark. Kate and Maria had gone to bed. David and Jen quietly tiptoed to the bathroom, where she pointed out her shampoo and body wash and brought him a towel. She left him there and went into her room, using his shower time to pick up her dirty laundry and shove clutter under the bed—after checking for Ellie, of course. After pulling on a T-shirt and sweats, she looked at her clock. David had only been in the bathroom for six minutes, but she was already anxious for him to return.

With her flurry of activity finished, she sat on the edge of her bed. “Holy shit,” she murmured to herself. David had just told her he loved her—that he’d loved her for a long time. She realized now that her feelings for him had never gone away. They’d just been hidden in her subconscious because she never thought he’d return them.

She glanced at the clock again. A total of eight minutes had passed since they’d been separated. Her leg bounced up and down, impatient to have him back in the room with her. The longer he was gone, the more she felt like none of this was real, like she’d wake in the morning to find out it was only a dream.

The water stopped and a few moments later, David stepped into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. He clutched the top of the towel wrapped around his waist. His muscle definition was more pronounced than the last time she’d seen his naked torso. Operation Beach Body was working out swell.

“Don’t freak out that I’m naked,” he said. “I just couldn’t bear to put those smelly clothes back on. Did I mention I got caught in the rain? I’m hoping you maybe have a big pair of sweatpants and a shirt I can borrow. I’ll wash them and bring them back.”

“Um, sure, yeah.” Jen tore her eyes from his bared pecs and went to her bottom drawer. “Would it be heartless of me to give you a pair of D’s running pants?”

“I guess I’d rather avoid that, if possible.”

Her eyes fell onto the Ohio State boxer shorts the guys from Daytona spring break had mailed her as a joke. “Are you going to crash on Beano’s couch, again?”

“Seems to be my only option.”

“You could stay here. On our couch. It’s probably a lot cleaner than his, and that way you don’t have to walk there in the middle of the night. Maybe we can throw your clothes in with a load of mine and I’ll wash them before you leave. You could sleep in these.” She held up the boxers.

“Why do you have—never mind. I probably don’t want to know.”

She stretched the elastic waistband to its limit and flicked the shorts across the room at David. He reached to snatch them in the air, and the towel slipped an inch. Her eyes riveted to the flat muscles forming a V at his waist and disappearing beneath the towel. Forcing her eyes up, she saw by his smirk that he’d caught her looking.

“I’m not sure I’d feel safe on your couch,” he said, “what with all the leering.”

She wrinkled her nose, laughing, and then her smile turned shy as he continued staring at her.

His grin vanished, morphing into something more serious. “I meant every word I said out there, Jen. But I won’t pressure you. These feelings aren’t going away. I’ll still love you whether it takes you ten days or ten months to be able to say it back.”

“What about California?”

“I’m not going to California.”

Her heart hammered. She trusted him to not pressure her, but that didn’t take away the heat in his look. They’d already lost two years. She wasn’t willing to waste any more time. “I love you, David.”

As soon as she’d said it, she knew it hadn’t been prudence that had stopped her earlier in the hallway. It had been fear. She’d been afraid to say it out loud, sure that once David realized he didn’t need to fight for her, he’d turn and run in the opposite direction.

But he didn’t turn. He didn’t run. He took a step toward her, hesitated for a brief second, and then closed the gap between them, his mouth taking hers in a long, intense kiss. Jen’s senses filled with the smooth and mellow taste of David. Her fingers dug into his skin as she raked them up the tight muscles of his back.

He moved one of his hands through her hair, gently gripping the roots to hold her head in place. Pulling his lips from her mouth, he rested his forehead on hers, breathing heavily. “I better get dressed.”

“Okay.” Jen caught her breath as she slid her hands off him. Turning back to the drawer, she fished out an oversized T-shirt and handed it to him. “I’ll turn around so you can—” She gestured toward his towel and spun around.

While he changed, she thought through the situation. If she’d loved D, she’d have had sex with him this weekend. She knew now that she loved David and that he loved her, so shouldn’t that give her the greenlight to sleep with David tonight?

Reflecting on everything he’d told her in the hallway, she was forced to acknowledge his repeated unfaithfulness to Ellie. Jen didn’t want to be one of those stupid girls who blindly believed a guy could change for her. Until she was more confident he’d stay true, she couldn’t sleep with him. She hoped he’d be okay with that. If he wasn’t, she’d have to rethink the wisdom of starting up with him.

“All done,” he said.

She turned, filled with trepidation. She didn’t want to risk losing him so quickly, but she couldn’t let herself get screwed over. Not again.

He sat on her bed wearing the things she’d given him. He looked ridiculous. Adorably ridiculous. “Come here.” He patted the mattress.

Jen sat, but was careful not to touch him—she couldn’t do that again until he understood that they needed to wait.

Before she’d decided how to broach the subject, he said, “I’m the last person on earth who I ever thought would say this, but…I’d like it if we could date for a while before we have sex again.”

Her mouth opened, wordless, and she stared at him.

“I don’t want to roll right into it like it’s nothing,” he continued. “Our next first time should be special. I know I’ve got to prove myself to you, so please let me. That way, when we give each other everything, it’ll be with no reservations.”

Jen pressed her mouth shut and leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He understood her doubts without her needing to say it. If it was possible, she loved him even more than she had a moment ago. “I agree. Completely. One problem, though.”

“What’s that?”

“I don’t want you to sleep on the couch tonight, not unless I’m with you. In which case, we might as well stay here.”

“I think I can be talked into it—if you promise to control your feminine wiles.”

She tickled his side, making him squirm. He retaliated by locking her in a hard embrace and kissing her. By the time the kiss ended, they’d fallen onto their sides on the bed. She curled into him, tucking her arms and cheek against his chest. He threw an arm over her and cradled the top of her head under his chin.

“I love being with you,” he said. “I wish, when you counseled me through the first breakup with Ashley, I’d realized it was the simple act of spending time with you that made me feel better. I love that I can show you even my most pathetic, vulnerable sides. It’s like…when I’m with you, I feel more me than I do when I’m with anyone else. It’s hard to explain.”

He leaned back and cupped his hand around the side of her face, tilting it so she looked up at him. Grasping her gaze in his, he said, “I promise you—I’m ready now. I only want you. I will only ever want you.”

She wanted so badly to believe him. “Didn’t you also think that about Ashley?”

“She was my first girlfriend, and I was stupid. When that whole thing happened sophomore year—that night you ran out of the party—it wasn’t like you thought. I hadn’t planned it all out. I liked being with you, but I freaked when I saw Ashley and kissed you in front of her to piss her off. Except you’re the one who got mad, and then she was right there, telling me she wanted me back.

“But David and Ashley Part Two didn’t last very long, did it? After spending so much time with you, my whole perspective had changed. I knew there was a better fit for me out there. I screwed up and lost you once. I won’t do that again. But I can’t give you a signed document. You’re going to have to trust me.”

Jen nodded. He was right. If she couldn’t learn to trust him, she might as well tell him to leave right now. “Do you think we weren’t supposed to be together until now? Like everything that happened up until this moment was preparing us to be ready for each other?”

“Maybe. Yeah.” His cheeks lifted in a smile.

Jen meant to smile, too, but instead she yawned.

“Ready to go to sleep?” David asked.

“Uh huh.”

They pushed themselves up and off the bed and pulled back the covers. Crawling underneath them, they lay facing each other on the twin mattress. David ran light fingers along the side of Jen’s face and gave her a soft good night kiss. He started to pull his lips away, but then leaned forward again, recapturing her mouth more earnestly. Shifting his body, he pressed the back of her head into the pillow, kissing her from above.

Jen threw her leg over David, pulling the rest of him on top of her. She slipped her hands under his shirt, pressing her palms flat against his warm skin. He ran a hand along her hip and grabbed onto the back of her thigh, giving her body a small pull so that she pressed fully against him. Their bodies moved together, their hips rocking in unison. Jen felt the press of David’s erection through the thin boxer shorts.

“No!” she gasped, rolling him off of her and onto his back. She was unwilling to spend the night more than a few inches away from him, but they obviously had to put some sort of barrier between them. Jumping off the bed, she went to her closet and pulled out a sleeping bag. She threw it on the bed next to David and climbed in, zipping it up to her neck and pulling it over her head so that only her face stuck out. “Instant birth control.”

“A giant prophylactic. Nice.” David turned his face toward her, but stayed lying flat on his back. “What did I tell you about those feminine wiles?”

“It’s not my fault! You’re the one who’s an amazing kisser.”

“We’re amazing together. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.” His eyes lingered on her and he frowned. ”Staying celibate’s going to be tougher than I thought.”

Jen rubbed the tip of her nose across his in an Eskimo kiss. “But worth it, right?”

“Totally worth it.”

Chapter 13

Jen woke early the next morning. At some point during the night, she’d kicked the heavy sleeping bag to the floor. Weak sunlight glowed through the curtains, casting dim light throughout her room. She watched David sleep. His mouth hung slightly open, his breath moving in and out in gentle gusts.

She loved him. So much.

Everything looked different now that she knew he loved her, too. She thought about their times together in his dorm room at Pemberley. When he’d hesitated their first time, asking if she was sure, she wondered if she’d have given a different answer to anyone but David. Their next time would be incredible—passion joined by love.

She snuggled closer to him, whispering, “I love you.”

He stirred and mumbled something indecipherable before throwing a sleepy arm onto her. She flipped onto her side and nestled her back against his chest, pulling his arm all the way around her. The calming sound of his deep, even breathing lulled her back to sleep.

When she next opened her eyes, David was awake, lying behind her and playing with her hair. She turned toward him, and he tickled her nose with the ends of the dark lock he’d been twisting between his fingers. “Good morning,” he said softly.

Jen smiled up at him and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She heard noises from the living room. Her roommates were already up. The perfect bubble in which she and David had spent the night was about to pop. They were going public.

“C’mon. No point in putting this off.” Jen rolled off the bed and grabbed David’s hands, pulling him up. Clamping her lips between her teeth, she laced her fingers through his and they walked down the hallway and into the living room. Kate was at the table eating cereal while Maria dried dishes in the kitchen.

“Mornin’.” David said, as if walking around the girls’ apartment in boxer shorts was an everyday occurrence.

Kate stared. Bits of soggy Captain Crunch were visible in her gaping mouth.

Maria gasped, coming over to snap Jen with a dishtowel. “You little slut!” Her eyes darted between Jen and David, and the rest of her words tumbled out in a jumbled mess. “But how did… you left with… and then…when…”

“It’s kind of a long story,” Jen told her.

“Oh, man,” Maria moaned, picking up books and stuffing them into her bag. “We have to get to class—but I want every last detail when I get back.”

Kate stood and pulled on her backpack, leveling a concerned gaze at Jen. “You look happy, so I’m going to assume this is a good thing.”

Jen smiled. “It’s a very good thing.”

Kate returned her smile and walked over to give her arm a squeeze before saying a polite goodbye to David and following Maria out of the apartment. As the door shut behind them, Maria’s delighted voice could be heard: “I can’t wait to tell Tom what Saint Jen did! Two guys in the same weekend?”

Alone again, Jen and David exchanged a sly glance. She became aware of the sour sting of morning breath on her tongue. “I’m gonna brush my teeth real quick.”

“I don’t suppose you have an extra toothbrush.”

“You can use mine.”

“Big step. Are you sure you’re ready?”

“Don’t get sassy with me first thing in the morning.”

They brushed, rinsed, and spit. When they emerged back into the hallway, David didn’t let her take two steps before he grabbed her around the waist and spun her around. Pressing against her until she backed up to the wall, he placed his hands on either side of her, both palms flat. “Thanks for not making me wait for your answer.” He ducked his head down, touching his lips to hers, making a small popping noise when he pulled back a mere half inch.

Jen wrapped her arms around his waist. “Thanks for not pressuring me.” He kissed her again. “Would you have really waited ten months?”

“Yes.” Another kiss.

“Ten years?”

“Forever.” His mouth crashed against hers, and they locked onto each other. He slid his hands from the wall, winding his arms around her.

Jen’s heart raced. She was losing herself in the kiss, losing herself in David. The near-panic that gripped her was the same sensation she’d felt during their last time together in David’s dorm room. But this time she didn’t push him away. This time she pulled herself more tightly to him. Jen had stepped into the fire and was now engulfed by it. So far it didn’t hurt. Not one little bit.

Sooner than she wanted, she had to pull away to get ready for class—though she knew she might as well have skipped that day since her focus would undoubtedly stay tangled in David. But he had his own business to attend to. After washing his clothes, he had to go pick up his things at the tiny house he’d shared with Ellie. Jen obviously couldn’t accompany him on that mission.

***

The next two weeks with David were blissful. He’d moved in with Beano for what remained of the semester, though he spent most nights at Jen’s apartment. It was funny how they fit so neatly together once they were finally honest with each other, and with themselves. It was natural. It was right. She felt guilty for being so happy after hurting D. She wanted to make sure he was okay, but knew he wouldn’t want to see her. When she tried to check on him via online social networks, she saw he’d unfriended and unfollowed her everywhere. She didn’t blame him.

David met Jen after class at the north end of campus. As they walked back to her apartment, hand in hand, a burly guy in a Sigma Chi sweatshirt moved along the grass toward them. Jen recognized too late that it was Big D. She dropped David’s hand, which only seemed to draw D’s attention.

He glanced at her; then his eyes swept to David, who’d placed his abandoned hand against the small of Jen’s back. D’s squared features went rigid. “I fucking knew there was someone else!”

Jen stepped forward, shaking David’s hand away. “D! No. It’s not like that.”

“Oh, really? Not like what? Not like you were just holding this guy’s hand—the guy you said you were only friends with? The guy you spent the night with in Springfield! What exactly isn’t this like?”

He huffed past them, purposely grazing David’s arm with his own, and kept walking. Jen intended to run after him to explain, but when she turned to David to tell him she’d catch up with him later, his stern look made her pause.

“Yeah, exactly what isn’t this like?” he asked. “Are we not together?”

“We’re together, I just…I didn’t want D to know.”

“Keeping you options open?” He let out a bitter grunt. “I told you there was no hurry to make your choice.”

Under the strain of instantly having two guys pissed off at her, Jen snapped. “Maybe if you’d have made your choice a long time ago, we wouldn’t have this problem. It’s not D’s fault you had to sleep your way around campus before deciding to steal his girlfriend!”

“Oh, did I steal you? Because you told me you’d already broken up.”

“We were broken up! But that doesn’t change how all of this must look to him. And besides, you didn’t know we were broken up when you came over to steal me.” She huffed, her anger spent, and stared at the grass. All she could see was D’s face. It wasn’t the fury in it that pinched at her heart; it was the pain.

When David spoke again, his voice was calm, conciliatory. “Are you sure you weren’t keeping your options open, in case things don’t work out with us?”

Jen lifted her eyes to him. She stepped close to mold her hands over his shoulders. “That’s not it. I promise. I just didn’t want to hurt him any more than I already have. I know things are going to work out with you and me. I don’t know how I know it, but I do.” The corners of her mouth twitched up. “Consider all this angst as part of your punishment for making me wait so damn long for you.”

“
Part
of my punishment?” He quirked a playful eyebrow.

“Hope you have a high tolerance for pain.” She winked.

He smiled, resting his forehead against hers. “Please tell me the other part involves you in a leather corset.”

The next day, Jen knocked on the door at Barton House. D’s roommate Matt answered, not meeting her eye when he told her to wait on the front stoop. He called for D, who came bounding down the stairs, stopping short when he saw Jen. His face drew into a stony mask as he stepped outside. He crossed his arms over his broad chest and leaned back on the black metal rail, boring a glare into her. His mouth pressed into a tight line.

“You have every right to be mad,” Jen said. “I’m not here to ask forgiveness, but I have to make sure you understand that I didn’t cheat on you. Nothing happened between David and me while you and I were dating. We really were only friends. We tried dating once, at the beginning of sophomore year, but it was a disaster. I swear I didn’t realize my feelings for him were anything more than friendship until after we got back from formal.”

D’s hard gaze shifted from Jen to something in the distance over her shoulder. The muscle at the back of his jaw pulsed while his mouth remained in the same tensed line. She understood his anger but couldn’t believe he wouldn’t even talk to her during what would probably be the last time they’d ever see each other.

“That’s all I wanted you to know,” she said, deciding she had no right to force him into a conversation. “I’m sorry I wasted so much of your time. Bye.” She turned and stepped onto the broken stone path that led to the sidewalk.

“He’s the one you had sex with.” The abrupt sound of his voice startled her.

She whipped around to face him, preferring his silence to this. Telling him the truth would hurt him more, but honesty was the only thing she had left to give him. “Yes. But it was like I told you—only an arrangement to help me get experience for when I met the right person.”

“And the right person just so happened to be him.”

“I didn’t know that at the time. I didn’t know until after you and I had broken up.”

“How can I believe anything you say? You told me you loved me—that was a lie.”

“When I said it, I honestly thought I meant it.”

“But then you realized you love him.” He winced, breaking Jen’s heart all over again. She took a step closer, but he held his hand up to stop her. “We weren’t meant to be together. That’s fine. It was better for you to pull the plug when you did instead of letting me get in any deeper. I just…I wish you’d never said you loved me. I really wish you hadn’t.”

Jen nodded a few times, blinking back the tears that stung to get out.

“I appreciate you coming by, and I sincerely wish you luck with this guy. But I have nothing left to say to you.” Without waiting for a response, he opened the door and disappeared inside the house.

Jen sulked the entire way to her apartment, where David waited for her. She found him slouched on the sofa, watching TV. She sank to sit next to him, resting her head at the crook of his neck.

He laid his hand on her back and began stroking. “How’d it go?”

“Fine. Not so good. I don’t know. He’s still mad and hurt. Mostly he just seems sad.” On the last word, her throat clenched. It was awful to be the reason D was hurting. He’d never been anything but wonderful to her. He didn’t deserve this. Hot tears sprang forward and rolled down her cheeks, spilling onto David’s shirt.

He let her stay silent while he played with the ends of her hair, pulling and tickling her scalp. As she melted into him, she was soothed by the rise and fall of his even breathing. Resting her chin on his chest, she looked up at him. “David, could we let Big D come over here and snuggle with you for a while? Maybe it’ll help him feel better, too.”

“Sure. I’ll scratch his back and we can watch brochaco movies together.”

Jen laughed but pressed her face against his chest. “Stop. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t want to make fun of him.” After a few quiet moments, she asked, “Is this how you feel about Ellie? You two were together a lot longer than me and D, and you lived together. Do you feel horribly guilty?”

“I don’t know. Not really, but maybe I should. We were a sorry excuse for a couple, but I could’ve been more sensitive in how I ended it. Though it’s hard for me to imagine Ellie’s wallowing about anything. Not sure her emotional range extends far beyond hostility. Can I ask you a personal question about D?”

“Sure.”

“The nickname, Big D. There’re rumors around campus about the accuracy of—”

Jen knew what he was getting at and didn’t wait for him to finish. “Oh, it’s enormous.”

“Define enormous.”

“It’s like a meatloaf.”

David let out a groan and she looked up in time to see his head flop onto the back of the couch. He stared at the ceiling.

“Don’t ask if you don’t want to know,” she giggled.

David tilted his head and smiled down at her, touching the side of her face and tickling his thumb over her lips. “They’re both going to be fine, you know.”

Jen sighed her yes.

Keeping his eyes locked onto hers, he told her, “I’d never be fine without you. I never was.”

Jen turned her face and kissed the palm of his hand. She knew he was right. As bad as she felt for hurting D, she was exactly where she was supposed to be. She belonged with David.

The End