Big Fat Liar 2 (Big Fat Liar #2) (6 page)

Chris stared at the white door, completely taken aback. What the fuck? Furious, he walked up to the door and pounded on it until it rattled. "Open up!"

"Go to hell Christopher Walker!" Cal screamed from the other side.

That just pissed him off even more. When he tried to happen the door with the knob and found it locked, he got even more upset. "Cal Picket! Open this goddamn door and face me like a man!"

"Screw you!"

Chris blinked. Wha...what the hell happened to his sweet Cal? Who was this...this shrew!? He banged on the door. "God damn it, Cal!"

"Stop taking the Lord's name in vain, you jackass!"

Okay
, Chris thought darkly, patience snapping,
that's it
. "Open the door or I swear I'll kick it open."

"Do it," Cal challenged, "and I'll evict you. How would you like that, eh, pretty boy?"

Pretty boy
? Chris mouthed, completely confused. "Cal, open the door and we'll talk."

"About what?" Cal laughed. "You have no clue what
to
talk about."

"Then tell me," he growled, "tell me why you're acting like such a bitch."

"Hah! Sorry, but I'll leave the bitch acting to your girlfriend, Chris, because Brenda is a complete S.O.B."

"WHAT!?" Chris roared.

"Oh yeah," he heard Cal say, "I went there."

He scowled. "Cal, I think I know what's wrong with you. You've been hanging around my brother and Mizz Ivory too much."

"Stuff it where the sun doesn't shine, Romeo."

Chris rubbed his temple. "Cal, open the door. I'll give you to the count of five."

"Yeah? And what?"

"And I'll kick the door open."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

A few seconds ticked by then a minute, then another minute...

"Okay," he growled, stepping back, "you asked for it." Chris kicked the door open, the door slamming against the wall and splints of woods scattered on the brown carpet.

Callie stared at him, jaw dropping as he entered. "Y-you...you broke my door!"

Chris grinned. "Told ya I would."

Callie flapped her arms up and down, completely shocked that he had really went through with it. "You're insane!"

"Runs in the family," he said. "Now that we're face to face again, why don't you tell me what the hell crawled up your ass and died?"

Callie stared at her poor door. "You broke my door!"

Chris scowled, turning back to look at the door. "It's fine, I just broke the lock."

"You. Broke. My. Door!"

"Cal, shut up about the damn door and talk to me."

Callie finally looked at him. "Get out."

"No."

"Fine. Then I'll get out." She tried to walk around him but he caught her arm and jerked her back.

"Nope," he said, shaking his head, "don't think so."

"What?" She sneered. "You break my door and taking me captive now?"

Chris rolled his eyes. Yeah, he's been hanging around Abel too much. "Cal, enough with the melodramatics and tell me what's up with you."

"It's not me," Callie jerked her arm from his hold. "It's you."

"Me?"

"Yeah you. You're the one who's been acting weird and don't try to deny it."

Chris's jaw tightened but he didn't deny it. He
had
been acting strange. "I can explain that."

"Then explain."

"You first."

"No you."

Chris scowled at her. "You're being childish, Cal."

"Takes one to know one,
Chris.
"

Chris closed his eyes and counted to ten. Dear God he felt like choking Cal. Chris opened his eyes and glared down at his friend. "I was acting strange because..."

"Because?" Callie lifted a brow.

"Because I just felt weird around you."

"Why?"

"The hell if I know."

Callie stared at him. "You don't know?"

"No."

"Well isn't that just convenient for you?"

"Can the sarcasm, Cal," Chris growled. "I don't like it anymore than you do. It's frustrating for me, okay? Frustrating that I have no clue what the hell it is I'm feeling. Does that make sense?"

Before Callie could open her mouth to answer, Chris was talking again. "Course it doesn't make sense," he muttered, running a hand through his hair, "doesn't make a lick of sense."

"Maybe I can help," Callie offered. "Explain to me these...'weird' feelings."

"Confusion is definitely a big part of it."

"Okay. Confusion and what else?"

Chris stopped his pacing and stared at her. He was staring at her so hard that she started fidgeting. "W-what?"

His eyes narrowed. "Cal, when exactly did you realize that you were gay?"

"When watching a game of football gave me a major hard-on," Callie replied sarcastically but she could see that Chris had taken her seriously.

"Football huh?" He raised both brows.

Callie rolled her eyes. "Chris, I wasn't serious."

"Then how?"

" I don't know!" She threw up her hands. "I guess I took one look at you and thought I'd like nothing more than to be with you." Callie gasped.
Oh shit
.

Chris stared at her, blue eyes going round. "What did you say?"

"N-nothing."

"Cal. What. Did. You. Say?"

Callie trembled. "Just forget it, Chris."

"You like me?"

Callie said nothing. Instead she stared at her carpet. Curse her and her big mouth! Oh god. When she looked back up because the silence was killing her, she found him still staring at her but with a blank look on his face.

"C-Chris?"

"How long?" He asked suddenly.

Callie swallowed. "S-since the beginning?"

"So Brenda had been right?"

Callie nodded, tearing up. "I'm sorry."

"I," Chris paused, brows furrowing. It didn't even look like he was seeing her anymore. "I gotta go."

When he turned and walked her room, she didn't stop him. Even when she heard her front door slam she didn't go after him. Instead she stared at the spot he stood for the longest time before walking in the living room.

Numbly, she picked up the cordless phone and dialed. "Hello?" Abel's voice said from the other line. "Helloooooo?"

"Abel?" She whispered, staring into space. "I think Chris hates me."

Then she broke down and cried her heart out.

God, there's so much bad juju in here!" Mizz Ivory exclaimed, walking into Callie's apartments five hours after Chris walked out of it.

"Callie." Abel went straight to her and hugged her. "I'm sorry we couldn't come till now, busy day at the Salon and all." He drew back and stared at her with concern. "How are you holding up?"

Callie shrugged, eyes red and puffy from crying for hours. "Okay I guess."

"Oooh," Mizz Ivory wrinkled her nose and took out a spray bottle from her little pink purse. "Honey, I can feel the tension in this room. We gotta get all that bad juju out!" She started spraying.

Abel rolled his eyes and told Callie," Ivory thinks that she was a voodoo African Priestess in her past life and somehow the magic is still within her."

Mizz Ivory kept spraying. "Uh huh, go ahead on and make fun of me, Abel, but you'll see. Mizz Ivory's got the magic touch."

"Ivory put that spray back in your purse," Abel scolded, "that ain't nothing but body spray you got from Victoria's Secret."

Mizz Ivory stopped spraying and gave Abel 'the look'. "Honey, why do you think I shop there? All those skinny sticks got to be using some kind of dark magic to look that skinny beautiful. Ever seen America's Next Top Model?" Ivory snapped her fingers. "Tyra Banks got some major juju."

"Ignore her," Abel told Callie when Mizz Ivory continued on her quest. "I've been trying to get a hold of Chris but he won't pick up his phone."

"You've been consorting with the enemy," Callie laughed dryly, "he probably knows you're here."

"You poor, dear," Abel patted her hand. "Come, let's sit down and you tell me again from the beginning exactly what happened here."

Callie led Abel to the couch and it was there where she told him everything that happened, even to her accidental confession. "I didn't mean to tell him like that," she whispered, "he just kept pressing me and making me mad until pop. I said it."

Abel made himself comfortable on the couch, studying Callie's tortured expression. "Darling, the man is on his way on falling in love with you and he doesn't know it."

Callie's head shot up, eyes widening. "F-falling in love?"

"With you, honey."

She shook his head. "I don't think so, Abel. He didn't look like a man in love."

"Because he doesn't know it yet. Haven't you been listening to me?" Abel sighed. "Chris is so stubborn that it'll probably take him months before he realizes and months before he accepts it. Accepts that he'd falling in love with another...man."

Callie groaned and covered her face with her hands. "I'm screwing everything up so badly, Abel."

"Now is probably a good time to tell him, darlin'," Mizz Ivory said, walking from her bedroom and into the living room. "And what on earth happened to your door?"

"Chris broke it when he kicked it open."

Ivory and Abel exchanged looks. "Yup," Mizz Ivory nodded, "the man's got it bad."

"He's not in love with me," Callie insisted, "more like disgusted with me."

"Callie, sweety, listen to me." Abel took her hands into his. "Chris is very familiar with gay men liking him, hell, all my friends practically throw themselves at him but he always laughs it off. But you...you're different. His reaction to you is different, even when he believes you to be a man. I know my brother and he's never acted like this before with another guy."

"What I'm guessing," Ivory began, "is that he sees the feminine quality in you, his lady killer instincts is telling him that you're all woman but his brain is telling him that you're all man, with a little help from your lie that is."

"He's torn and confused," Abel continued, "he's probably thinks he's going crazy."

"Oh great," Callie moaned, "if he ends up in a mental hospital, I'll be the blame."

"It'll be his fault too," Abel said, "for mistaking you for a guy in the first place."

Callie sighed. "What am I going to do now?"

"I think," Mizz Ivory tapped her chin, "I think you need a day out with the girls."

She blinked. "Day out with the girls?"

"Good, idea Ivory!" Abel smiled at Callie. "Yes, we'll take you out and have little fun shopping at the mall."

"I've been dying to pick out clothes for you," Mizz Ivory squealed and clapped her hands with delight. "We're gonna have so much fun!"

Callie chuckled at her excitement. "I don't know...I don't really feel like going anywhere."

"So what?" Abel lifted up a brow, "you're going to stay locked up in here, moping?"

"I'm very good at it."

Abel snorted and waved a hand. "No, darling, you're going with us and afterwards we can all go out to karaoke."

"Oooh!" Mizz Ivory squealed again, "I love karaoke! I'm gonna feel like those Japanese, Filipino people. You know, every Filipino person I know owns a karaoke set in their house." Ivory frowned. "It's probably in their bible or something. Thou shalt have karaoke."

Callie burst into a fit of laughter, because what Mizz Ivory said sounded totally ridiculous. "Aw, see, there you go." Abel patted her hand. "Laughter is the best medicine. Now go and get ready. Mizz Ivory and I will wait right here for you."

Five minutes later, Callie walked out her room wearing grey sweat pants and a grey hoodie. Abel and Ivory took one look at her and shook their heads.

"Honey, don't you own any other types of clothes besides sweats and hoodies?" Mizz Ivory asked.

"I feel more comfortable in these," Callie explained pathetically.

"Hmm," Abel looked at her up and down. "Well, those look too baggy on you. I'm proud, you are losing weight."

"Don't worry my fashion disaster," Ivory said, slipping her arm through Callie's. "Auntie Ivory will work her magic and turn you into a swan."

True to their words, Abel and Ivory took Callie shopping at the mall, picking out outfits for her and making her try them on. Surprisingly, she had fun. Yes, Chris was still haunting her thoughts but Abel and Ivory didn't give her much time to mope about Chris. They even got her to try on a dark blue dress.

"I hate it," Callie whined as Abel and Ivory circled her, studying the blue dress they picked out for her.

"You look great!" Abel insisted, "all you need is makeup and your hair done."

"But I look like blimp," she grumbled.

Ivory shook her head, "you look fine, it's all in your head. You're just not used to wearing dresses, that's all."

Callie sighed. "Can I change back to my sweats now?"

"Go ahead," Abel huffed, "but we're buying you that dress."

Muttering something about pushy gay men under her breath, Callie slinked back into the dressing room and changed back into more comfortable clothes. Later that night, before they swept Callie to the karaoke bar, they stopped by Abel's house to fix her up.

"If you don't want to wear any girly clothes," Ivory said, exasperated with arguing with Callie, "then at least wear these. They're pretty unisex." She handed Callie a pair of dark blue jeans that was bedazzled on the sides along with a glittery pink collared shirt that buttons in the front. They even got her new shoes that matched the jeans.

After changing, Abel and Ivory worked on her hair, clucking and tsking here and there about how the woman who did her hair should be shot but they were pleased that it was growing. In the end they combed her hair back, letting strands fall on her forehead. They even got her to wear a bit of makeup, just powder on her face and pink lip gloss.

When Callie complained that guys didn't wear lip gloss, Mizz Ivory snorted and said, "Oh please, Justin Bieber wears lip gloss and you see all those hormonal teenage girls still throwing themselves at him."

Studying herself in Abel's vanity mirror, she had to admit that she looked...okay. Not exactly beautiful but she was passable. Abel and Ivory had certainly worked their magic on her...she just hoped she didn't run into Chris.

At nine o'clock at night, they arrived at one of Abel's and Ivory's favorite karaoke bars owned by a friend of theirs. Abel wore his trademark suits, black pants and blazer with a pink collared shirt beneath the blazer. He accessorize it with a glittering dark pink boa around his neck and black diamond studded shades. His blonde hair was slicked back and he looked terrific and knew it.

Mizz Ivory had put on a curly brown wig, wearing a dark brown skirt and strapless top. She looked fabulous with her black hoop earrings and the way she carried herself with confidence, a brown glittering boa looped around her neck. When the trio entered the bar, they were greeted with warm welcome and cat calls. Apparently mostly everyone knew Abel and Mizz Ivory at the bar.

"Enjoy yourself, dear," Abel told Callie while handing her a Martini, "let yourself have fun. Let loose!"

"Let loose," Callie repeated, watching Mizz Ivory walk on stage and started singing and dancing with a couple of shirtless men. "Let loose." She swallowed the contents of the glass and nearly choked. She really wasn't used to drinking.

An hour later, Callie was completely smashed. She was laughing and having the time of her life with her new friends. Abel and Ivory exchanged a few amused glances and let her continue enjoying herself.

"Y-you see," Callie said drunkenly, hanging her arm on the shoulder of a man she just met by the bar. "You-you see, he th-thinks I'm a man!" Callie laughed crazily, "c-can you imagine!?" Callie tossed her head back and laughed over the blasting music around them. "He thinks I'm a man!"

"I don't think you're a man," the guy beside her said, amusement and interest in his eyes. "I think you're pretty cute."

"Reeaaaaaaaally?" Callie blinked at him and leaned closer until their faces were only inches apart. "You reaaaaaaaaaaally think I'm cute?"

The man chuckled. "Yup."

"Oh my god! Oh my god!" Callie gasped, "you're like...sooooooo awesome."

Across the room, Abel and Mizz Ivory watched Callie with the unknown man. "The girl is totally drunk," Ivory chuckled.

Abel chuckled with his closest friend. "Hmm, think it's time?"

Mizz Ivory's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Time to call our missing knight in shining armor?"

Abel nodded and took out his blackberry. "Let the fun," he speed dialed Chris's number, "begin." Like they predicted, Chris didn't answer his phone, letting it go to voicemail. Humming, Abel waited until the beep before dramatically saying, "Chris! Dear, you simply must come and get Cal! We've tried to take him home but he's completely drunk!"

"My poor baby, "Mizz Ivory wailed in the background.

"We're at Vanity's Karaoke Bar, a couple of blocks from mom and dad's deli. You know the one." Abel sighed. "We just wanted him to have fun but now he's so out of control and won't listen to any of us. He wants to leave with this guy we don't even know."

"Cal even wants to get a tattoo of your name on his ass," Ivory added.

"So you see," Abel continued, "you have to come and get him. I think he'll only listen to you, darling." He hung up the phone and wiggled his brows at the giggling Ivory. "Three, two...one."

His phone started buzzing.

Grinning, Abel answered. "Hellooooo?"

"What the hell have you two done with Cal?" Chris's angry gruff voice said on the other end.

Abel sent Ivory a thumbs up before clearing his throat. "Cal's gone loco, Chris. Hurry up and get him...oh my, I think that's him on the stage right now! And he's going topless!" Abel hung up before Chris could yell at him.

"We're so naughty," Mizz Ivory giggled.

"He's on his way," Abel chuckled, "I'm sure of it. Come on, dear, let's drag Callie on the stage for a little karaoke time."

Abel and Ivory walked across the room and each took Callie's arms and dragged her on the stage with the microphone. "Sing your heart out, dear," Abel told Callie, handing her the mike. "Sing your heart out."

Callie stared at the microphone as if it was foreign object. She stared at the gathering crowd below her and blinked, raising a hand to block the bright light beaming down at her. What was she suppose to do again?

"Sing." Mizz Ivory nudged her arm. She too had a microphone. "We'll sing with you."

"Right beside you, Callie," Abel appeared on her right, grinning. "You know Bonnie Taylor, don't you?"

"Total Eclipse Of The Heart," Mizz Ivory sighed. "She's a goddess."

The music started playing and immediately Callie knew what to do. She started to sing. "Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you never come around."

"Turn around," Abel and Mizz Ivory sang in unison beside her.

Callie stared out at the crowed. "Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears."

"Turn around." Abel and Ivory fluttered around her, waving their boas in the air.

Callie started thinking of Chris as she sang, wondering if he would ever come around and see her again. Wondering if she should tell him the truth and how she'd go about doing it. It seemed like in the end, she'd lose him anyway.

"Every now and then I fall apart..."

"Turn around, bright eyes..."