Bigger Than the Sky (Serenity Point) (11 page)

His amused look is back but then his eyes narrow and fix on mine, holding them. “Life’s been shit since you, Mill. Had everything and let it get away from me.” He takes a breath and blows it out. “Took it all for granted. I know that now. Should’ve done everything to make you happy and I didn’t. I’m sorry.” His gray eyes burn into mine as he says this, his anguish coming through loud and clear.

Wait. He’s apologizing to me? No! I should be the one apologizing to him.

“Kade…” I whisper shaking my head. God, he’s such a good guy. So like him to take the responsibility for everything. “It was me… my fault… I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“No, Mill, you were right. Was too busy with my career and I fucked up. Should’ve put you first. And after, should’ve found you and got you back immediately. Made amends. But I was too proud.”

I close my eyes and shake my head. This is too much. “It’s not all your fault. I should’ve explained what I was feeling instead of running.” I open my eyes and look into his seeing all the regret I hold mirrored in his.

“I get why you ran. I know I was a selfish, arrogant prick thinking I was all you needed.” We sit and look at each other, both of us knowing we screwed up. “Wanna try this again, Mill…”

Oh, God. He’s just laid it all out there. Wow.

“Five years is a long time, Kade… a lot has happened.”

“Not gonna lie. Fucked a lot of women after you, tryin’ to get you out of my head.”

And I’ve had it, so tired of hearing about all the women he’s been with. Tears sting the backs of my eyes and it feels like the walls are closing in on me making it hard to breathe. I suddenly jump up and head to the door. I have to get out of here now.

And then he’s there, wrapping an arm around my waist, pulling me back against him, my back to his front.

“L-let me go,” I say, the tears falling now.

He curls his other arm across my chest and holds me tight as we stand there for a moment before he kisses the top of my head then says into my hair, “Failed.”

I take a stuttering breath and close my eyes and whisper, “What?”

“I failed. It didn’t get you outta my head. Only made it worse.”

“Kade…”

“Bigger than the sky, Mill.”

Oh, my God.

I can’t take this right now and start crying harder because now I’m scared to death.

When we were together, I’d told him a story about Papaw and me looking at clouds, and since then Kade had always said our love was bigger than the sky.

So in saying this now, he’s just told me that he still loves me.

He still loves me.

He still loves me.

I don’t know what to do with this and I think my brain just shuts down because I’m suddenly so tired that all I can do is slump back into him, my head falling against his chest as the weariness takes over. He picks me up and carries me to the bed, setting me down then lying down behind me to hold me like he did last night.

“Bigger than the sky…” I hear him whisper right before I drift off.

Chapter 10

I wake to a dark room and find that I’m alone.

And I’ve never been so sad to be alone in my life.

I sit up and reach over to turn on the bedside lamp then squint like crazy at the glare it puts out. Through my squinting eyes I see that Kade left a little origami flower on the pillow next to mine. I pick it up and open it to find his masculine block handwriting inside:

Jen’s tonight at 10

Bigger than the sky…

Kade

Okay, here’s what’s going on in my head right now. First of all, I’m thinking how can he say that he still loves me after all these years. We don’t even know each other anymore. I mean, for all he knows, I could be a serial killer now (has this become a phobia for me or what?). Second, I’m thinking I’m a huge chickenshit, afraid to admit I have feelings for him. And third and most important, I’ve got a life back in Richmond, I’m not going to be here that long, and if we started something now it wouldn’t make any sense because he has the lumberyard and he’s not going to leave Serenity Point, so what’s the use?

I sigh wondering when my life became so complicated.

It’s now six, so I call Cassie to fill her in on what’s up for tonight.

She answers with, “What’s the plan?”

I can’t help but snort. “Damn, are you ready or what?”

“Ready and willing. Mill, this is the most excitement I’ve had in forever, like, since I saw Gus Batchelder streaking down Main Street. How pathetic am I?”

“Gus Batchelder? He’s like eighty,” I answer.

“Hence the excitement,” she says with a snort.

“Why was he streaking down Main Street?” I ask with a chuckle.

“He was pissed at Martha because she
gave one of his favorite sweaters to Goodwill, so in protest, he got naked. And I wouldn’t really call it running. More like a lopsided lope at a snail’s pace. He blamed it on his old war wound. Said that’s why he was so slow and got caught.”

“I thought his ‘war wound’ was he cut off the tip of his finger when he had KP duty,” I respond.

Cass laughs. “Yeah, it was. That’s what makes it even funnier.”

Serenity Point, where the excitement is just a naked eighty year old away.

“Anyway, what’s the plan?” she asks, her giddiness coming through.

“Let’s meet at Jen’s at nine-thirty. Kade’s band’s playing tonight at ten, right?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, we’ll take in a couple of his sets then at midnight, we’ll make sure Peyton’s busy and jog to her house, break in, look for the notepad or any other evidence we might find then we’re outta there. Oh, make sure to wear something dark.”

“Gotcha. See you then!” She squeals before hanging up.

After showering, I check my wardrobe. I have a cute black, peplum, sparkly-front, zip-back, long-sleeved shirt that’s perfect which I pair with black skinny jeans and black ankle boots. The boots have a four-inch stiletto heel that’ll be a little tough to run in, but nothing else goes with my outfit, and everyone knows the appearance of a good outfit can’t be marred just for comfort, right? I put on evening makeup, meaning smoky eyes and dark red lipstick then do my hair wavy ala Veronica Lake old Hollywood style. Before leaving the station, I put on my badass short, black leather coat with the asymmetrical zipper, and after checking myself out in the full-length mirror on the bathroom door, know I definitely could be a P.I. because I’ve got this dressing to be sneaky down to a freakin’ T. After putting my ID and some money in my jacket pocket, I lock up and walk to Jen’s.

I guess Kade’s band is pretty popular around here because the place is packed when I get inside. Cassie waves at me from a table so I make my way through the crowd to her and see that Brody’s sitting with her.

“Damn, Mill, you’re lookin’ hot tonight!” he says then lets out a wolf whistle.

I smile shyly at him. “Thanks, Brode.” I then look at Cassie who’s practically shaking with excitement and laugh. “Whatcha drinkin’?”

“Jim Beam, rocks.”

I raise my eyebrows, impressed. She usually doesn’t do the hard stuff, preferring frou-frou drinks, so I know she’s gotta be keyed up for the evening ahead.

Martina comes by just then and I tell her I’ll have the same as Cass then take off my jacket and sit on a stool between them. Onstage I see Kade and the guys in the band getting everything set up, one guy tweaking his guitar as Kade does a sound check.

“Is it emo night?” Brody asks then, looking back and forth between Cassie and me.

I snort because all the black we’re wearing
is
looking kind of suspect.

“We’re gonna break into someone’s house after Kade’s band plays,” Cass says and I about fall off my barstool.

Brody huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, right.” He takes a drink from his beer bottle. “Gonna go talk to Ezra for a few,” he says and leaves the table.

“What the hell?” I ask Cass.

She laughs. “Glasnost.”

“I fail to see how a policy that Gorbachev instituted applies,” I say with a chuckle.

“Directness! I couldn’t tell him a lie because he always somehow knows when I’m lying.”

“Everyone knows when you’re lying,” I mutter then thank Martina when she brings my drink.

“What? How?”

“Tell me something and I’ll tell you if it’s true or not,” I say.

She thinks for a few seconds. “I have a kid in class who has six toes on his left foot.”

“Lie.”

She frowns. “I’m not wearing underwear.”

“Truth.”

She frowns again. “In sixth grade I kissed Arnie Webber in the girls’ bathroom.”

“Lie. It was the boys’ bathroom. Trying to be sneaky, I see,” I say with a snicker.

She looks at me for a second, thinking. “I was the one who put up the posters all over town with your cell phone number saying the caller could win fifty bucks for leaving the best voicemail in a Gilbert Godfried voice.”

I blink. Holy shit. “That was you? I had to change my number, you jerk!” I can’t help but laugh and shake my head because that was a pretty good one.

“Okay. Um, it wasn’t me who put the confetti in the defrost panels in your car,” she says.

“Lie!”

“Oh, my God! How can you tell?”

“I just know. And you really are a jerk!” I say laughing. “It took forever to clean that all out!”

She snorts then gives me a look. “You shouldn’t have told Donnie Lampton that I had the hots for him and wanted to have his babies!” We both laugh now. “All right, how about this one, when we were in fifth grade, Brody didn’t tell Kade that you sneaked into his bedroom to get his Sega controller, I did.”

“Truth! God! You little shit!” I say laughing. “Kade was pissed at me for a year!”

“I felt bad for Brody because he denied it with his entire being when Kade confronted him about it. And I knew Kade would whoop his ass for going in his room, so I had to save him.”

“I’ll have to apologize to Brody for being mad at him for telling.” I chuckle.

“Okay, how can you tell when I’m lying?” she asks.

“I don’t really wanna tell you because it’s kinda nice being able to catch you…”

“Mill. Come on.”

“Oh, all right. Every time you lie, you touch your earlobe.”

“I do not!” She looks at me like I’m crazy.

“You do.” I nod.

“Let me try it again. Okay, I hope Jeremy really has a shoe fetish where
he
wears the shoes.” Just as her hand goes up to touch her earlobe, she pulls it down. “Fuck!”

I crack up then shrug. “Every time.”

“Well, this would’ve been nice to know when I played poker with Brody and Kade. Assholes.” I’m still laughing when she looks at me deadpan. “And you’re an asshole too. You’ve known this our whole lives and are just telling me now?”

I shrug again, chuckling.

“I’ll get you back,” she says narrowing her eyes at me, which makes me burst out laughing. “Be back,” she says suddenly and takes off.

“Hey,” I hear Kade’s deep growly voice in my left ear from behind me, and l shiver at the delicious sound of him.

I turn to say hi and my cheek rubs against his beard-covered one because he hasn’t moved away. “Hi,” I breathe out.

He’s leaning into me with both hands on either side of my barstool, his chest against my shoulders. “You okay?” His voice rumbles sexily in my ear.

I swallow and nod slowly, biting my lip. I know he’s wanting to know how I’m taking what he said earlier, but honestly I don’t know. I’m, once again where he’s concerned, a mixed up mess of emotions. He pulls away and turns my barstool to where I face him, his gray eyes focused on me, showing that he’s loving my confusion which kind of gets my dander up. When he sees that I’m a little peeved, his eyes practically twinkle with amusement. Damn him.

“Well, I
was
okay until you showed up all smug and self-assured.” I frown at him, which makes that sexy smirk slowly appear on his face.

“C’mon now, Onion,” he says trying to keep from grinning.

I smack his arm and hiss, “Don’t call me that!”

“It fits, babe,” he says with a chuckle.

He used to call me Onion Butt because he said my ass was so perfect it made him cry which always made me roll my eyes as it does now. “Look, Kade, just because you come over here looking all rock star hot and every woman in the place is giving me the evil eye because she wishes she were me right now doesn’t mean you can be so cocky.” I’m totally lying. He can be anything he wants because he’s looking so good right now. He’s changed into a dark blue button-down shirt and I can see a bit of the white tee he wears underneath at his neck; one side of his shirt in front is tucked into his jeans and I can see the thick, brown leather belt he wears. The whole outfit isn’t anything fancy but he totally rocks it. And I’m totally drooling.

“You tryin’ to tell me I look good, Mill?”

“What? No!” I sputter. “Well, I mean, of course you look good,” I admit. “I wouldn’t be with someone who I wasn’t attracted to. Not that I’m
with
you, but I was once with you, you know? So, yeah, you look good.” I look at him and blink wondering why I feel the need to yammer when he’s around. Yeesh.

And there’s the smirk again. “Not with me, huh?” And he totally undresses me with his eyes. He puts his hands on either side of my hips and leans to my right side, his cheek brushing up against mine again and says all growly, “Wanna eat your pussy with those boots wrapped behind my head, babe.”

Holy fucking hell.

“Is it hot in here?” I ask when he pulls back, his sexy gaze making my insides flutter even more. “It’s kinda hot in here, isn’t it?” I pick up a napkin and try to fan myself with it.

Brody comes up just then. “What’s up, big bro? Mill’s lookin’ mighty fine tonight, isn’t she?”

Kade’s eyes haven’t left me as he nods at what Brody says which makes my stomach dip and my panties flood. Good God.

“Ladies and gentlemen, give us five minutes and FECK Off will be onstage to entertain you!” a guy on stage announces.

Kade leans down to me and says, “Good luck kiss?” and before I even answer, he just takes. And takes. And takes. He kisses me long and hard and deep and wet and when he pulls away I can barely catch my breath. Damn. Then he gives me a wink before walking away as I stare dazedly after him.